


And I walk onto the big-screen with You

by residentsheeper



Series: Director AU: Shall we go to the movies? [2]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Trans Character, Coming Out, David is a Director, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Matteo is NOT a Sound Engineer, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Set in 2023, They are 22 years old, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-04-08 09:02:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 101,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19103944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/residentsheeper/pseuds/residentsheeper
Summary: He just observed the soft-spoken boy at the backmost row at Laura’s show in Berlin, who was a sea of calm as he directed various backstage sound technicians and mixers through his headset, all the while manning a rig himself, making sure the audio side of things of the gig worked without a hitch.The boy with a mop of messy blond hair with a headphone pressed over it and piercing blue stormy-sea eyes so focused on his surroundings and signaling for the technicians to react to whatever is happening on stage.The blond hair and the blue eyes that he wants to lose himself in. He shakes his head and tries to get that face out of his head.He collects himself quickly though, coughs, and say “Thank you, Matteo. Have a nice day”





	1. "Matteo."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! (waves)  
> So I wrote the David POV of canon Episode 9 (Berlin, Take Me Home.) to see if I could actually write.  
> I had this AU idea in mind while tossing and turning in bed. I am not sure how far I will take this thing. Make it up as we go along yeah?
> 
> Maybe I got you in the door with Matteo sound engineering? Matteo is not a sound engineer, but he sound engineers. Yes, very confusing.
> 
> Feedback always appreciated! I consider myself a novice in writing, so I would love to hear what you think about this!

**Monday 10 July 2023**

The ringtone is starting to echo inside David’s brain after making call after call. He sighs.

A click. A soft voice comes over the line, “Hello. Jonas Augustin’s recording studio.”

David focuses again. “Hi, am I speaking to Jonas Augustin by any chance?”

“No, Jonas has just stepped out of the studio a moment ago…” The voice replies.

David pulls a face. This afternoon is going _really well_ , considering how much of a struggle it is to get the people he wants for the casting call he is making for his film. He really starts to appreciate the work Leonie does, be it for theater back in uni, or like right now, for an actual film. He has to buy her lunch sometime.

“Or Mr. Carlos Schmidt?” David interrupts the voice. He really does not have much mental capacity to hold conversation right this moment.

“No,” a soft, _cute_ , laughter comes over the line, and David’s breath hitches, “I am not his agent. I am his … sound engineer let’s say. Anyway, who am I speaking to and should I take a message for him?” the guy on the line asks.

“Yes. I am David Schreibner, and please tell Mr. Augustin or Mr. Schmidt that I have a casting call for a film for Mr. Augustin and I would appreciate if he would attend. I think he will be a good fit for the film.”

More soft laughter from the other side of the line. And seriously, who gave this person the _right_ to laugh like that? “Okay, okay, I will let Jonas know. I will just tell him to call back this number and ask for David?”

“Yes, thank you – ” and David pauses. He does not know who he is speaking to. “Matteo.” The guy on the other side of the line helpfully supplies.

David’s eyes widen. Sound engineer. Matteo. Who speaks German. Can this be the guy who sound engineered for Laura at her show?

He did not get to talk to the guy, as he seemed to materialise out of nowhere before the show and disappear into thin air after the show. He did not see the guy at the afterparty either. David would say he was disappointed to not have seen him, but if he were being honest, it was not as if David would have approached and talked to the boy even if he were there.

He just observed the soft-spoken boy at the backmost row at Laura’s show in Berlin, who was a sea of calm as he directed various backstage sound technicians and mixers through his headset, all the while manning a rig himself, making sure the audio side of things of the gig worked without a hitch.

The boy with a mop of messy blond hair with a headphone pressed over it and piercing blue stormy-sea eyes so focused on his surroundings and signaling for the technicians to react to whatever is happening on stage.

The blond hair and the blue eyes that he wants to lose himself in. He shakes his head and tries to get that face out of his head.

He collects himself quickly though, coughs, and say “Thank you, Matteo. Have a nice day” 

Wait. When did David start bothering with pleasantries with strangers? Leonie, who has just walked into his room into the tiny office seems to pick up on this as well and side-eyes him.

“Yup, you too, bye”

He puts down his phone. That is the last one on his list. He does think the singer-songwriter-actor Jonas Augustin who is known for his vocal views on social issues would be a great fit for his film.

His film. David’s film. David Schreibner, aged 22, directing a real film.

But before he spirals about this current situation, he notices Leonie is now full-on staring at him, eyebrows raised. David knows the questioning is going to come at him at any moment.

“Since when did David Schreibner act nice and warm at strangers?”

And yes. Leonie’s not wrong. All throughout his years in film school, David has never been a particularly friendly person to anyone he does not know. Not even when he is on set at a theatre production or an advertisement set directing people he does not know well. He has perfected the _enigmatic persona_ that he is very well known for among his classmates and also people he has worked with in the past few years. This is on top of the fact that he is one of the best students in the film school in the past decade.

People always looked forward to seeing whatever David would pull out of the hat for his next project. People tried to get close to him, befriend him and pick his brains for his wisdom and his creative process. Despite this, while David is not outwardly _blowing off_ people, he might as well be doing that, as he always smiled, made some friendly remarks without giving too much away about himself, and sent people on their merry way.

Leonie and Sara are amongst the few people that David comes to be close with, mostly due to their involvement in theatre club and productions. And also, the fact that they accept David for who he is, not that David stood at the top of a mountain and told the world about himself, but it mattered to him nonetheless. They are one of the few people that knows of the _real David Schreibner_ – artsy, fun-loving, curious and sometimes dumb.

There is also the fact that David fake-dated with Leonie for a while just to make Sara jealous so the two of them finally get their shit together. David also a meddling dumbass sometimes, but he will never admit it despite having Leonie and Sara to show for.

So yeah, the three of them know one another very well.

Leonie is still looking at him, expectant of an answer.

“Uh, I don’t know? Never?” Leonie gives him a skeptical look “Oh come on, it is not that bad is it? I mean this whole situation is sorta getting on my nerve, so cut me some slack, man.” That is not exactly a lie, either.

Leonie looks like she wants to disagree, but at this moment Sara swoops in to the office and Leonie’s attention is directed to elsewhere, leaving David to reflect on this _situation_.

David knows he is _good_. While it is not uncommon for film students to interact with the professors and bounce ideas off one another, it is totally another level to be invited to lunch with several professors and discuss whatever were on their minds about film-making at that moment. It is totally another level when your film projects for class gets traction on YouTube. It is totally another level when you actually _land gigs to direct_ advertisements or theatre productions because people think you are capable. David’s trademark dystopian/hope/change vibe that is apparent in most of his productions is apparently a huge draw for viewers and admirers, and his enigmatic reputation only builds upon the intrigue surrounding him.

It is not like he does all this to make a name for himself. He keeps his distance with people simply due to the fact that he does not want to get hurt. He does not want to take the risk to open up himself to others, just to have his insides being trampled. Just to have who he is being used against him. The dystopian universe in his productions is just an expression of how he feels. The need to close out the world, to run from society, a place where he cannot be accepted for who he is. He wants change, and it is simply reflected in his style.

Nonetheless, it is the whole package of the _enigmatic David S._ that landed himself this opportunity. A friend of his professor wanted to fund a film for “from what I have heard and seen, one of the best up-and-coming directors in Germany”. _David_.

He looks at the calendar again. His surgery is scheduled in four months. While independent films don’t really take many shooting days, David wants to get it right. And he wants to have the shooting wrapped up before he goes out of commission for at least a month, so he does not cause any delays himself.

To be honest, when he was told about this opportunity, David was very reluctant to take up the offer. But someone funding a film for you at age 22, and lets you have a pick on the theme as long as everyone agrees on it before shooting starts? How can David logically pass up this chance?

This is how David finds himself again holed up in this little office on the outskirts of Berlin that he has rented as his war-room for his productions, plotting out everything with Leonie and the rest of his small regular crew, only this time it is actually for a film production.

He rounds his desk to look out the window at the skylines of Berlin on this sunny summer afternoon. School children are enjoying their summer breaks, as he can see kids flood the park next to the building his office is located. He is being brought back to simpler times, when he was but a little kid, not yet privy to the cruel reality life has thrown upon him in the past decade. He is snapped out of his trance as his phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Uh, is this David Schreibner I am speaking to?” David recognizes the number – Jonas Augustin – or at least, his studio. It is not the soft voice he had heard before though – Matteo.

“Yes. And I assume you are Mr. Augustin?” he replies curtly. _Distant David_ back in character.

“Please call me Jonas. I heard from Matteo about the casting call, and I am definitely interested.”

David is business-like and goes through all the important points with Jonas about the casting and promises to send him the details by email later.

When he puts down his phone, he feels two pairs of eyes staring at him. Right. Leonie and Sara are still with him, even though somehow now Leonie is sitting in Sara’s lap.

“What?” He snaps. Unnerved by how his two friends stare at him but not saying a thing.

“Is that Jonas Augustin you were speaking to?” Sara recovers first.

“Yeah, what is the problem?”

“The Jonas Augustin?” Sara presses.

“Sara, I don’t understand.” David is mildly frustrated by this weird questioning by his friends.

“So, you were talking to a Matteo. And now you just spoke to a Jonas Augustin?” Leonie joins.

David rolls his eyes and nods. “What about it?”

“We knew a Jonas who is friends with Matteo from high school” Sara supplies.

“And you were just being extra nice with a Matteo on the phone?” Leonie adds.

“And why was that?” Sara asks.

“That’s what I am trying to find out too” Leonie smirks at David.

“I swear to god you dumbasses, I did nothing!” David huffs and rolls his eyes again, turning back to his computer and sorts out the things he has to send to people that are attending the casting.

David takes the two of them out for a late lunch just to shut them up – the hard work is ahead of them after all.


	2. "Life is Good."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What’s next? Calling Abdi Ates, the comedic existence, ‘Mr. Ates’? That’s like unironically referring someone as Mr. Bean.

“I am not his agent. I am his … sound engineer, let’s say.” He says into the phone.

That is not exactly a lie, if you ask Matteo. After all, he is actually sitting in Jonas’ studio, sound engineering for his album. Matteo likes this album, some of the songs were actually from years ago, when they were still high school students doing their abitur, and some were written in their university years. Matteo can tell though, that many songs are about Hanna.

He still feels guilty for the stunt he has pulled on Jonas and Hanna back in high school, when he still had an unattainable crush on Jonas. Hanna has forgiven him soon after that, and when Matteo and Jonas eventually talked through that when Matteo was finally seeking help for his depression as well as coming out to his friends, Jonas didn’t even bat an eyelash, just hugged him and said, “It is not your fault, Luigi”.

He is also relieved, to an extent, that Jonas and Hanna ended up back together after everything, so he guesses he could count himself as less of an asshole for that. Sound engineering at a discount for Jonas is sort of a thing he does for his own conscience, not that he would admit out loud, and he is actually quite good at it. He even landed himself a few gigs sound engineering for bands performing live in Berlin, including the ultra-popular band _Exorcism_ , the band fronted by one Laura Schreibner who seemed to be adored by everyone near and far. Though landing the gig might also have something to do with the fact that a certain-roommate-Linn is a multi-instrumentalist on the band as well.

There were actually record companies that heard of his name after Laura’s gig and tried to recruit Matteo to sound engineer for their studios. Matteo turned them all down.

You see, Matteo Florenzi is not actually a sound engineer.

Matteo Florenzi was a closeted gay stoner kid who barely passed his abitur. Matteo Florenzi was a kid who nearly got kicked out of university straight off the bat saving for the fact that the whole boy squad and girl crew swooped in and finally convinced him to go to therapy and told him that they would love him nonetheless. Matteo Florenzi was the guy who finally came out as gay after being frustrated by his friends’ efforts to set him up with girls, only then to be set up with guys instead. His friends eventually stopped though, as Matteo never seemed to really develop a _thing_ with anyone. Matteo Florenzi was the guy who turned out to be top of the class in computer sciences and is really good at everything tech-related.

Matteo Florenzi is also a very good chef. He is half-Italian after all, and is quite adept at cooking, including his Pasta a la Luigi that is famous among his friends. He may have secretly tried out new recipes on his own and was quite good at those as well, but he did not let his friends other than his roommates know, lest it becomes another thing that he can be teased about. He did contemplate going to culinary school, but he considers cooking a passion that he can de-stress with and does not want to ruin it by making it a thing he does for a living, a chore.

Matteo Florenzi is a tech-wiz who has a start-up that released one of the most popular mobile games in Germany, but no one really knows who he is aside from his friends and the people at the startup. He picks up sound engineering as a thing to do on the side when he needs breaks from his work at his startup, but not feeling bad enough that he feels that he needs to hide from everyone.

Matteo Florenzi has depression. He goes to therapy. He takes his _happy pills_. But sometimes he is still pulled under on his bad days. He would lose interest in the things he is good at. He would close himself off and not see anyone. The days where he would stay in bed and not move an inch is a thing of the past though. He mostly clears his schedule at the startup, tells Jonas he is disappearing off the face of the earth, then gets in his car, drives for hours across the country to Heidelberg, to his _secret_ flat and fixate on some things he doesn’t normally do, or just hang out until he decides he want to work on his projects again, or head back to Berlin and show his face again.

He finds this situation he is in ridiculous though. Taking a phone call for Jonas, who, bless him, probably sneaked off to meet up with Hanna for lunch, and the person on the other side of the line is calling his dumbass friends ‘Mr. Augustin’ and ‘Mr. Schmidt’. What’s next? Calling Abdi Ates, the comedic existence, ‘Mr. Ates’? That’s like unironically referring someone as Mr. Bean.

He can’t help but laugh under his breath. He still manages to note it down for Jonas though, a casting call that this ridiculous guy says he thinks Jonas would be a good fit for.

He nearly told this guy ‘Mr. Florenzi’ instead of ‘Matteo’ when he paused and seem to realise he did not know how to address Matteo. Matteo is not a guy that feels comfortable to make fun of an unknown stranger though.

This person, David, pauses and coughs when he hears his name, but Matteo pays no mind to it. They exchange pleasantries and Matteo focuses back on playing the game on his phone – his own game, because he is obsessed with his own game, but no one needs to know that.

A while later, Jonas comes back in, and Matteo tells him about the call. Jonas swears under his breath, and Matteo does not know why. He quickly called back to this David guy, while Matteo heads back to the rig and prepare for some more recording for the afternoon with Jonas.

Carlos somehow materialises inside the studio halfway through the recording session, hugs Jonas and congratulates him, he hears through his headphones, Matteo assumes for the casting call, then comes into the booth and sits next to Matteo while Jonas continues the recording. Matteo has to bat away Carlos stupid fingers when he tries to fiddle with the knobs on the audio rig. Seriously, how did his dumbass friend become an agent and still manage to _not_ learn to not fuck up his clients’ stuff? Then again, it’s just Jonas and Matteo, Carlos is allowed to be a dumbass.

This call or anything that relates to it does not come up until Friday come around.

**14 July 2023**

All of boy squad and girl crew are hanging out at the WG, as it has become some sort of tradition that they all meet from time to time, though instances of them actually holding a party or even just getting smashed is becoming fewer and fewer as they grow older.

Right now, they are just sprawled around the flat chatting away, with a beer in hand (or mate for those, _cough Amira cough_ , who don’t drink). It is a bit of a rare occasion though, everyone barring Linn are in town and free to hang out. Hans, by now a prominent civil right activist whose main job is actually an economist, believe it or not, has just flown back from Vienna from a conference this morning. The elusive Mia Winter somehow showed up at the WG during lunch, when Matteo was pretty sure she would be in Madrid until the end of July. Matteo isn’t even sure what Mia does in Madrid, but she seems to hold her own pretty well despite the fact that she is together with one Alexander Hardenberg. Amira showed up early, hugging Matteo when he greets her at the door. They text from time to time, especially when they want someone to chat with that is not in their respective friend groups. The others all arrive in pairs – Jonas and Hanna, Carlos and Kiki, Abdi and Sam. Lovebirds and all that. Hanna works in midwifery; Kiki a social media influencer; Carlos an agent with among others, Kiki and Jonas as his clients; Abdi a stand-up comedian and Sam a fashion designer who was recently hired by one of the largest fashion brands in Europe.

Life is good, Matteo thinks. Everyone in his life are in a good place. Even his mother is doing better than before, and he occasionally goes home for dinner. He never thought his mother would do better, nor would she accept him being gay, but she just hugged him tight and told him that she loves him no matter what, and to let her know if there is someone he would bring home for her to meet. Matteo may have cried after that, but he would not tell a soul. 

He observes the group chatting. Sam is now talking about how awesome her new job is, and that she would probably have her designs worn by models walking in Milan in a few years; Hans chatting away with Mia about his latest adventures in search of a man he likes; Kiki telling Jonas and Carlos about the latest health fad that she wants to cover in her next video and how Carlos should definitely go and try it out with her. Amongst all this chatter, both Carlos’ and Jonas’ phones vibrate at the same time. Carlos checks his phone first, probably out of reflex for what he does at work. His eyes widen, then he nudges at Jonas and points at his phone. Jonas checks his phone, then drops his phone.

Everyone stops and looks at him.

“I got casted for David Schreibner’s film.” Jonas breathes out.

“AKA super mysterious and talented director guy.” Carlos says. “I think he also works with Sara a bit. She might even be in this film too.”

Matteo feels eyes on him.

“As in Adamczyk?” Amira asks.

“Yeah.”

Matteo shuffles under his friends’ gazes. It is not as if there is much to be said. He and Sara used to date for a bit, but it didn’t work out, because… well because Matteo has always been gay, and it was obvious Sara and he had no chemistry, so they broke up and went their separate ways. “Oh, okay.” Matteo says, as he feels his friends are expecting him to say something.

“Wait a second, _Schreibner_?” Hans butts in. “Like the certain _Schreibner_ who nicked our precious Linn from us?” Hans being his usual dramatic self, describes Linn touring with Laura and the rest of the band as if she was kidnapped, just like when Mia spent lots of her time in Berlin at Axel’s place instead of at the WG.

“Is he related to Laura Schreibner?” Kiki is the next to ask, turning to Carlos, everyone’s insider in the entertainment industry now that he acts as agent for many up-and-coming artists and media personalities. Not like Carlos would have anything to do with the super popular _Exorcism_ band, but still.

“I don’t really know. I guess tech-guru boy over there will have more of an idea about that, to be honest. He is the big shot who sound engineered for _the Laura Schreibner_ last month, remember?” Carlos says as he points his beer bottle at Matteo.

Everyone is looking at him again. You see, not wanting attention is a thing that is borne out of Matteo’s personality, and not his depression, so even if he is doing much better than he was four years ago, he still does not like to be the center of attention. He has to deflect somehow.

“How would I know?” and he is not lying either, he really went in, worked with the band, and left. He did not really linger, other than meeting with the band and the sound crew beforehand to run through everything. Not that this gig did not help his reputation as a sound engineer, Matteo just does not care. Because Matteo Florenzi is _not_ a sound engineer. He always makes a point to remind people around him of that fact. “I only did the gig because Linn asked, and Hans, you are technically the one with the least degrees of separation from the band. Don’t you and Linn live in each other’s pockets? Why would you think _we_ know anything if _you_ don’t?” There, Matteo passed the ball back to Hans himself.

He does not tell anyone the fact that, while he was working at the back of the venue, he saw a mysterious boy with dark hair with curls, chocolate-brown eyes walking past, wearing black and a stupid beanie in the middle of summer, even if they were indoors. That look is dumb, if you ask Matteo, but he could not help but be drawn towards that mysterious person. He is pulled back to the present though.

“Vicious, my butterfly. That is no way to speak to your guru…”

“When did you become my guru? I thought you are a boring economist?”

“Does it matter? My butterfly, I have always been your guru even if you try…”

“How good is this David Schreibner guy anyway?” Mia asks, butting in on the mini-squabble between Matteo and Hans, bless her.

“He has short films trending on YouTube, and apparently he has directed some advertisements and theatre productions. He could become a big deal if he keeps this up. And I think he is around our age too.” Carlos, being useful for once.

“And here we are putting penises in pans” Abdi says out of nowhere.

Everyone groans.

“I am happy for you, Jonas” Hanna says, and kisses Jonas.

“Ugh! No PDA on my watch!” Matteo mutters, motions as if he is going to throw up and putting his arms across his eyes.

“Huh? What did you say?” He hears Sam asking. As he lowers his arms, he is greeted with three couples making out. And yes, Matteo brought this upon himself. There is a pang at his stomach, sometimes he craves a relationship too. He wants to feel seen.

He stands up from his spot on the floor in front of the couch and moves towards the kitchen, “I am grabbing another beer.” Mia and Amira follow him. While Hans looks really unaffected as he observes the PDAs from his perch on the couch.

“Yup, me too!” Mia says. “I am grabbing another mate.” Amira says as they all retreat from the living room.

When they return, the chatter returned to some other topic, something about the upcoming fashion collection Sam is helping to design, then Mia talking about something Alex is doing in London, then Amira about some patients from hell she encountered at work, and at some point they got Matteo into talking about his startup and upcoming games (“I cannot reveal work-in-progress content!” “Digga you are literally the boss don’t pull this shit at us” “Who I am does not matter at all!”), as well as how it was working on set at a live show (“Do you not feel overwhelmed?” “I have headphones covering my ears sometimes and I was in the zone so it was better than I thought it would be”), and whether Linn and Laura are really a thing (“Linn doesn’t even hang out with me anymore, she’s always with Laura” – Hans grumbled). At one point they even called up Linn who is halfway across the continent and listened to her talk about how she picked up another new instrument that she may use in a new song the band is working on. When she was asked about herself and Laura, she just deflects, laughs and says nothing.

They eventually drop off one by one at some point in the night, when the clock strikes stupid o’clock – and yes, this sort of big messy sleepover is also a new tradition that comes with their meetups at the WG.

Matteo starts retreating to his room when he eventually cannot hold any conversation that resembles a coherent one when the boy squad’s braincell decided to leave the premises.

He turns around at his door and surveys the room. Everyone is in a better place than Matteo could have imagined back when they just finished abi.

Life is good, even if sometimes tiring, Matteo thinks. He is content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The band name Exorcism is a nod to [ a certain poster ](https://davenziabend.tumblr.com/post/184824114755/druck-on-crack-movie-poster-inspired-by-since-when)I made of Laura dancing.


	3. "I saw you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, that makes sense…” Matteo drawls, then he really returns to Earth, “wait, no. Why am I going with you?”

**18 July 2023**

Matteo is sitting in his office at Torstraße, _aka the Silicon Allee of Berlin_ , working on some projects his startup currently has in alpha, as well as preparing for some of the meetings he has to swing into the conference room for and pretend to be interested about later in the day. He has his earphones plugged in, as Jonas is on the phone talking his ear off about one thing or the other. Matteo is not really paying attention to anything, as he automatically types away lines of code on one monitor, some notes for the meeting on the other monitor, and makes sounds at the right moments into the microphone to signal to Jonas that he is listening. He seems to be talking about the film he is casted to play in.

Matteo thinks he might need a break from everything he is doing now, get into the car and drive somewhere just to clear his mind. Bulgaria seems good, or maybe London. Maybe he should drive to Italy. Not a bad idea too. Realistically though? He might just drive off to Heidelberg again. He likes the solitude there.

“…and also, I checked with your people and they say you don’t have anything scheduled for the 24th? You are coming with me to Teufelsberg.”

That snaps Matteo out of his auto-pilot. Why is he going to Teufelsberg again? He just cleared his schedule for early next week, so he could maybe slack off for a bit, and now Jonas is saying he has to go across the city and up the hill in the middle of nowhere?

“Wait, wait, wait, Jonas…” he interrupts Jonas’ excited rambling, “why am I going to Teufelsberg again?” He stops typing away on his computer, slides down his desk, poking out a finger, playing with the desk plant Amira bought for him when his startup moved to this current office. He mindlessly surveys his office. It is nothing fancy, the windows behind him overlooks the Torstraße, a huge white board on one side wall, and assorted things, like posters and sheets of paper with ideas, being pinned on a board on the other side wall. The remaining wall is just glass panels, so he could look out into the office space, seeing what everyone is getting up to, though he more often than not flicks the switch by the door, turning the glass opaque, so he could create a bubble for himself to work on things.

Jonas sighs, “Digga, have you been listening to me for the last five minutes?” and Matteo, if he were being honest, had not been paying attention to anything he has been doing for the whole morning, and he only picked up bits and pieces of what Jonas was saying. “Uhm…sorry…I am pretty much on auto-pilot today.”

“I said, I have the script-reading on Thursday, and the filming kicks off next Monday, which is the 24th, and I am bringing you with me. They start at Teufelsberg, so that is where we are going to.”

“Okay, that makes sense…” Matteo drawls, then he really returns to Earth, “wait, no. Why am I going with you?”

Jonas bursts out laughing. “I don’t know, you seem pretty out of it lately, and maybe seeing some new stuff might help you…” then he says softly “also I want someone there to look after stuff.”

So there is a reason after all. This is Jonas’ first film as a lead, Matteo has learned, and it does make sense to have someone look after stuff for him as he eases into the environment, though… “is Carlos not going?” Matteo asks.

“He has some event across the country, digga, in case you have not realised, he has not been in town since Sunday.” And Matteo honestly did not know that. Maybe Jonas does have a point, everyone can notice he is quite out of it. “Okay, I am going with you and nanny you. My dinner is on you though.”

He perks up when a staff member, one of the newer coders, knocks on his door. Matteo feels that it is a weird observation to make, if he were being honest, but his startup seems to be working, as the staffing numbers seems to be creeping up little by little over time. It is a random realisation, that Matteo seems to be holding his own quite well in life, at least professionally.

Time for the meeting, said staff signals to Matteo.

He would have slid down a wall if not for a fact that he is currently sitting in his chair in front of his desk.

“I gotta go, Jonas, shitty meeting. End me please.” he mutters under his breath, as Jonas simply laughs on the other side and hangs up. No sympathies at all. He sometimes hates Jonas (he doesn’t).

He sighs, dragging himself out of his office, and hopes that this time no one tries to convince him to adopt the lootbox model again. He does not need his customers to _feel pride and a sense of accomplishment_.

* * *

**24 July 2023**

Matteo has never been a morning person. And being dragged across the city to the top of a rubble hill is not really what he has on mind when he imagines a good morning. _At least I got my haircut so it stops being a useless mop_ , Matteo thinks to himself. Looking for silver linings is a thing he was taught to do. This one in particular though, seems a bit ridiculous, even to Matteo.

As he walks up the path leading to the abandoned listening post, he mutters to Jonas “They really named this place beautifully, Devil’s Hill. No one other than a devil will make people hike up this goddamned hill.” Matteo’s morning grumpiness is turned up to 11 and then some.

Jonas, however, looks unaffected by the walk at all. He just chuckles, “Maybe you just need to exercise more, Luigi.”

Matteo huffs and ignores him. Matteo has never been a big fan of exercising, and despite that, his physique has pretty much stayed unchanged over the past four years, so he counts that as a win. People can laugh at him for running like a noodle for all they like, Matteo does not really care as long as his look stays as is.

They reach the listening post eventually. Unsurprisingly, being a derelict abandoned place, it is riddled with graffiti. _Dystopia_. Matteo thinks to himself. As they ascend the stairs to the top of the building, where there are some balls Matteo assumes were at one point part of the listening post infrastructure (“those are radar domes”, Jonas tells him), he sees more graffiti, including one that has an America flag with two foxes on it, saying “Freedom is the only way, yeah?” and “America fuck yeah!”. He spins around and sees the Berlin skyline in the distance. And he thinks to himself, _really a dystopia, is this._

He is interrupted from his observations of the surroundings though, as Jonas drags him across the rooftop, showing him other things that he finds interesting, and he sees a small group of people on the other side of this platform they are on.

He stops breathing.

From afar he sees it, or rather, _him_. Olive skin, brown eyes, dark shirt and pants, wearing a pair of those pretentious hipster-glasses, and dark hair with messy curls styled like a broccoli. He does not mean it in a mean-spirited way, but it is still very puffy even when it is apparent that there was some effort being put in to whip the hair into shape. And honestly? Matteo thinks it looks good. It is the guy with a stupid beanie in the middle of the summer – this time minus the beanie. And he looks good. _Show stopping_ , even. The mysterious vibe is still there, and he is _drawn_ to it.

Matteo does not have the time to stare though, as Jonas is still dragging him around, showing him more graffiti that he finds cool. Who can blame Jonas? This place does look stunning if you are looking for a place for a dystopia setting. And how does the crew manage to find a place like this?

They ended up circling back to the group of people. Where _the boy_ is. He is talking to a shorter girl with long hair, wait – that is _Leonie_ , his braincell belatedly informs him. _The boy_ perks up as he hears footsteps approaching and Jonas greets the pair “Hi! David and Leonie.” And Matteo stares. _The boy with a stupid beanie and broccoli hair is David Schreibner_. The David Schreibner he nearly made fun of over the phone. Who is currently staring back at him. Jonas does not seem to realise that Matteo is high-key short-circuiting though, as he continues, addressing David, “This is Matteo Florenzi, my not-sound engineer and grumpy genius best friend, he is filling in for Carlos, I hope it is not a problem for you?”

* * *

David sees _him_ from afar. _Matteo from Laura’s gig_ , currently being dragged around by Jonas. The same piercing-blue eyes, pale skin and baggy clothes. However, this time, his blond mop of hair is replaced by a strong undercut. David finds it unfair: how does this guy look even better than the last time he saw him? He focuses back on Leonie though, going through the rundown one last time. He wants the inaugural day of filming to go without a hitch. Having _Leonie Richter_ , one of the most skilled and assertive organizers he has worked with, as his production assistant (or _My General_ , as David sometimes addresses her as.) should help achieving this goal a long way.

He hears footsteps approaching. He looks up and stares. He may have stopped breathing. The piercing blue eyes are staring straight back into his eyes, as if he is willing to open up his soul for David, or is he trying to will David to open up _his_ soul? It might be both. Those piercing-blue eyes look _lost_. He hears Jonas greeting him and Leonie, but he is too caught up in the staring match he has unknowingly entered into to acknowledge it. 

“This is Matteo Florenzi…” he catches, and yes. This is Matteo, who apparently has an Italian last name; who sound engineered for his sister; who picked up the phone for Jonas; who had that _cute_ laugh over the phone; who is currently _still_ staring back at him.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Matteo, it’s been very long since we have last seen each other. Sara is here too, by the way. Just try not to get in the way when we are filming, okay?” He hears Leonie saying.

“And this is David Schreibner, our director.” He hears Jonas saying to Matteo.

At that, he knows he has to say something. The first thing that stumbles out of his mouth though, is a _stupid_ “Hey. Na?”

David Schreibner, the cool, enigmatic, _confident_ , budding director, just stuttered when being introduced to someone. He feels Leonie staring at him from his side. He can see Jonas is a bit taken aback by this as well. _Shit_.

At least he is not the only one making a fool out of himself here, it seems, as _Matteo_ stutters back an even dumber “Na? Alles klar?”

David can feel Leonie smirking next to him without even looking at her. He has to save himself. _Themselves_. From this situation.

“Ja, klar, you can observe from pretty much anywhere behind the cameras while we are filming. If you are interested in that.” 

“Cool.”

And at that they break off, Jonas dragging Matteo somewhere else, and David turns back to Leonie, fully intending to finish rattling off the list of things but is only greeted by Leonie’s smirk. David sighs.

“Are you sure that there’s nothing you want to tell me? Mr. Director-man?” Leonie asks devilishly, and David wants to facepalm.

“Or us?” As if on cue, Sara appears by Leonie’s side, curious about one of the very few public _meltdowns_ of David Schreibner.

David rolls his eyes. “Nö.” He replies curtly. “Let’s just get through this damned list and get things rolling.” He says, a bit harshly. He is flustered. He knows Leonie and Sara knows, but they say nothing more, bless their souls, as Leonie goes through the rest of the stuff with him, and Sara gets back to get prepared for the shoot.

* * *

They get started, right on time, at 9 am. At least that is what Matteo can gather from reading the rundown Leonie handed him with a smirk. _Why is she smirking?_ Matteo has no idea. He is quite interested in seeing how things are unfolding though, for what he presumes would be the opening shot of the film.

Jonas is standing close to the edge of the roof, while one of the camera crew is next to him, filming his side profile. Jonas is looking into the distance, then he slowly turns, and looks back at the building and the listening post, as the camera swings back, assuming Jonas’ line of sight. There is no dialogue. Matteo assumes there will be voiceover for the shot. He can see David being hyper focused on the things happening in front of him, even though not much is happening yet. As he focuses back on the set, he sees Jonas talking. He hears a plane from the distance. The sound guys took no note of that at all. Matteo pulls a face. He starts observing the sounds guys’ work. Attention to detail, positioning and all that. Matteo has _opinions_.

You see, Matteo is _not_ a sound engineer, but he sound engineers, and he has _opinions_. It is partly borne out of his fixation on doing things _well_. But he bites his tongue. He is not going to interrupt when he is just given the _privilege_ to observe everything when they unfold. Maybe it is something that he does not understand, Matteo thinks.

* * *

It has gone on for nearly an hour at this point, and they should be wrapping up the stuff on the roof for the morning session. This place is one of the recurrent scenes in the film, so David does the logical thing and gets everything related to this place over with in one shooting day. They have just finished the scene with Sara inside the radar dome, and honestly? David think it looks good. Under his cool façade, he is excited. He looks around, as the crew is rearranging positions for another scene, and sees Matteo. The _not-sound engineer. Pulling a face. Staring at the sound guys._ While he had said nothing, David finds it quite easy to read Matteo. The boy has _opinions_ , and he is biting his tongue. David is intrigued by this. Leonie signals that everything is in order, so he motions for the filming to continue. However, he suddenly cannot really concentrate on the scene in front of him anymore, as he keeps sneaking looks at those piercing-blue eyes staring at the sound crew. _If looks could kill_ , David thinks, _they will all be six feet under_.

When Leonie finally calls break, David walks over to Matteo. It is not that he does not like initiating conversations, he just rarely does it, and he is both intrigued and drawn to the blond-haired boy with piercing-blue eyes, so he is going to do it. 

_I am just trying to see what insights he has._ David reasons to himself. 

“Hey.” 

“Na.” They are still being awkward, and he can see Matteo is staring at him again. 

“So what do you think? About the production so far?” David prompts, subtly motioning towards the sound crew. 

He can see Matteo getting embarrassed, blushing as if getting caught doing something he shouldn’t, and breaks eye contact with David. “I am not a sound engineer, what do I know?” 

“I saw you at Laura’s gig. And I am interested to know what you think.”  
He sees Matteo’s eyes widen. Then he bit his lip. Then he starts talking. Softly. Just like the soft voice David has heard on the phone. Matteo takes quite a bit of prompting to get him to say more, but David does not mind doing it. He is enraptured by this quiet boy with a soft voice. 

They talk through things like awareness of background noise, use of wild track, dialogue sequencing, positioning of boom operators and even things like etiquette of working on set amongst a plethora of topics. They are talking the ears off of each other while they sit away from the rest of the crew, against a ledge on the other side of the roof. 

“You know, I am not a sound engineer, so take what you will about it.” Matteo is keen to remind him that. 

“So, if you are not a sound engineer, what do you actually do?” David himself derails the pretense of _strictly technical and professional_ conversation. David is intrigued, and he feels oddly brave, talking to this soft boy who has a crooked smirk, which he definitely _did not_ notice while talking to him. He does not usually take an interest in people he just met, but it is not like Leonie and Sara can hear what he is saying and judge him for that. 

“I have a startup that develops mobile apps here in Berlin, this sound engineering stuff is mostly what I do on the side.” And oh. This guy is talented. He does this on the side and still falls into the category of what David considers to be the more knowledgeable and professional people he has worked or interacted with. 

“Good talk though, let’s have lunch together later, yeah?” David is feeling brave. He even shows his gummy smile when he sees Matteo blush again and nod. 

The things he and Matteo talked through were nothing groundbreaking, if David has to be really picky, but he can see the details Matteo has picked up on here and there and how it could be improved. He also checks the footage they have so far for the points where Matteo felt _dissatisfied_ about. It is in the details, but sometimes it is the details that counts. David takes everything on board, as he casually goes over the things _Matteo_ picked up on with the crew. If he had just turned himself into a demanding asshole boss for the sound crew, he does not really care, but they also don’t need to know that it is actually _Matteo_ who picked up on these minor faults that gave them more stuff to do. 

He ignores the knowing smirk Leonie throws at him when he goes over and sits with Matteo and Jonas during lunch. 

Jonas seemed intrigued as well that David is talking way more than usual after unexpectedly sitting down at their table, opposite Matteo. 

The rest of the day’s filming, including the sound stuff, goes without a hitch, as the crew covered every part of the Teufelsberg that they planned to work on ahead of schedule, ending the shoot an hour early. 

No one needs to know David had sneaked looks at Matteo here and there throughout the afternoon, nor the fact that he was a little disappointed when he saw Matteo leave with Jonas hastily after the debrief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Leaving David (and y'all) high and dry, amirite?  
> I am going to be traveling from early next week, so expect the updates to slow down :(  
> I wrote this one at stupid o'clock, and may have written some subsequent chapter while sipping wine. #ThisAuthorRegretsNothing
> 
> Please do comment, talk to me! That keeps me going!


	4. "Tell me your secrets."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is that Matteo?” Leonie prompts, after a few moments of silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to Ellie (blueteatime) for beta-ing this chapter (barring the last scene which I wrote after the beta). I had several glasses of wine writing this and was a bit insecure about some particular parts and her beta helped a lot! I hope you enjoy.
> 
> More at the end explaining the slow updates.

**27 July 2023**

_Donnerstag 09:03_

Siemensstadt, West Berlin. Location of the ruins of the Siemensbahn, which once served as a commuter line for Siemens employees, shuttered in the 1980s during a worker’s strike, never to be reopened again.

The train tracks were overgrown, train tracks on the Fürstbrunner Brücke being truncated in favour of the widening of the Spree canal. Another one of Berlin’s abandoned locations throughout the city with a tumultuous history. Another set for David’s dystopian world.

It did not take much time for him to decide on the theme of this film. Given the current climate, it is crunch time for youth to find their voice on social issues and wield their power in social discourse. In David’s opinion, filmmakers are too reluctant to be political, to show a realistic world view about the future. He chooses to show a dystopian world to the audience, to let the audience envision a broken, black-and-white, desolate world that they may all live in if they continue with their inaction. He chooses to show them that the struggle for a better future is not a fight that people can depend on others to fight for, but one that everyone should fight for. He chooses to show the internal struggle, the isolation and vulnerability of people ( _and of himself_ , David admits) to show that no one is completely fearless, but also no obstacle is undefeatable. Film can be an artistic expression, but it can also be a tool to hammer home a message – to incite change, and that is what David is aiming for. It may be a left-field choice for a debut film, but then again, when has David been one to follow norms?

He is early to this place. In fact, a full hour earlier than the call time for the rest of the crew. He woke up before the crack of dawn, allowing him enough time to get his morning run out of the way, gather his things for the shoot, and even go through the rundown for the day several times, and it was still too early to start emailing people about things that has sprung to his mind, but way too late to get back into bed and get some more sleep.

He ended up throwing his things in his backpack, then started wandering across the city, and ended up here at the Siemensbahn, standing on the platform with none of his crew in sight yet.

David has not been sleeping well, to be honest. He has been mostly following his _plan_ for his life – laying low, surviving his abitur, getting into film school and forge a career for himself. Alone. Apart having a few friends, he mostly stuck to his plan – despite all this, he does not feel _happy_. He still feels _lost_ , like floating at sea. He does not really understand why, and he definitely felt confused when his eyes met those piercing-blue eyes. The eyes David gravitated towards, the eyes that seemed to will David to open up his soul. The eyes that made him feel like he could find home. David shakes his head and try to get those eyes out of his mind. David does not have _home_. It has been the case for years that David stopped caring to count. He does not think it will change anytime soon, or ever.

This is not to say he is not enraptured by the soft-spoken boy who seemed so lost despite appearing to be _fine_ – quiet but maybe still happy. One of the most beautiful boys David has ever seen, and one that seem to be as flustered as David was in each other’s presence.

He sighs. This is an anomaly in David’s plan for life. He sits down, legs hanging off the platform, taking out his old sketchbook and starts sketching, waiting for the crew to finally show up.

* * *

It is 10:12 when Leonie plops down next to him. It’s still nearly an hour before the shooting starts. He tries to ignore Leonie and continue his sketch mindlessly.

“Is that Matteo?” Leonie prompts, after a few moments of silence.

David looks up and frowns. As far as David is concerned, he is not aware of a blond-haired boy showing up on his film set. Not that he has been paying attention. “Where?”

Leonie points at the sketch David is drawing. And. Oh.

He has been drawing a side profile of a person sitting on a ledge, staring off into the distance. _Matteo_. He did not do this on purpose. He closes his sketchbook harshly.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Leonie asks.

“Nothing. It’s nothing” David replies. This is not a conversation he needs right now. Matteo definitely was _not_ a thing that David has been thinking a lot about in the past two days, when he sat in the office reviewing the footage shot at Teufelsberg, David lies to himself.

“Is it about Matteo?” Leonie persists. And honestly, why does Leonie feel the need to take an interest in something that does not exist?

David is well aware of the fact that saying something does not exist is an acknowledgement of the fact that something does exist.

“You know, there is nothing wrong about _liking_ someone…” Leonie continues when David says nothing.

There is no point denying anything really. Nothing ever gets past Leonie. She was there, right at the start when David slipped and acted extra pleasant to Matteo over the phone; when he lost his cool and _stuttered_ at Matteo; and when he walked across the set to sit with Matteo and Jonas for lunch, being way more chatty than usual.

“Yeah.” David really doesn’t know what else to say, honestly. Having the feeling that he _likes_ someone is not part of his plan. It is not _allowed_ by his own rules. He feels out of his depth.

“Sometimes you have to follow your heart. You know?” Leonie says softly. _Bless her soul_ , David thinks, _she is a caring friend_.

“Yeah. Maybe, maybe not. I like making decisions with my head.” It’s truthful. David is always measured and careful. He does not like the idea of getting hurt.

Leonie does not press any further. She just pats his back and stands up.

“Let’s go through the rundown at half past? I’ll let you get back to … finishing your drawing.”

David nods, and looks back at the sketchbook in his lap. Maybe he would someday. He looks at his watch – he has ten minutes. He puts his sketchbook back into his backpack and pulls out the script, flipping it to the scenes they are filming today. Might as well clear his mind and focus on the work on hand.

* * *

_Donnerstag 10:43_

David subtly positioned himself such that he is facing the stairs leading up to the station platform, so that he would get to see everyone arriving at the set, while holding his notes and listening to Leonie running down important points to the film crew.

Then he sees Jonas.

Then his heart drops.

Matteo is not here.

Instead, Jonas is accompanied by Carlos (as he is told to address him as, Carlos waving off formalities while trying to control his laughter at being addressed as “Mr. Schmidt”.), which makes sense, as David’s logical part of his brain helpfully reminds him, since Carlos is Jonas’s agent. It does not mean David is not disappointed by the fact the boy with messy blond hair (replaced by a stunning undercut) and soft smile, Matteo, is not here.

For once, David does not let anything show on his face when it comes to this Matteo guy, but Leonie, as if she has some sort of telepathic abilities, looks at Jonas too right at this moment, then David can see Leonie glancing at him. He ignores it.

David shoves everything to the side and focuses on directing.

During the lunch break, David sits by himself at the corner of the platform, hanging his legs off the platform once again. Lost in his thoughts.

He pulled out his sketchbook at some point, after finishing his lunch, just a plain sandwich, and flips to the page of _the_ drawing once again and stares at it.

He picks up his pencil and continues with the sketch.

“Tell me your secrets, and I will tell you mine.” He writes across the bottom.

Before they resume filming, David pulls Jonas to the side.

“Hey, uh, is Matteo not coming?” David enquires. He feels awkward asking, to be honest, but his _curiosity_ is eating him up from the inside.

Something flashes across Jonas’ face. _Surprise_.

“Uhm, I don’t know where he is either. He just told me that he is disappearing off the face of the Earth for a bit, but that is par of the course. Carlos is here though, if you have something to discuss with us?”

David waves it off. “Never mind, just curious.”

* * *

_Donnerstag 21:13_

Matteo settles back on his couch in his hideout. Heidelberg is a nice place to get a break from the rest of the world, Matteo thinks. A university town that is sort of out of the way, where Matteo can disconnect from everything else. He feels drained, not that he can explain why. While he does go to therapy for his depression, and he does take his meds, sometimes days just turn to shit for no reason at all. He finds human interaction even more draining than usual. He finds what he does daily becoming a torture.

He is doing much better than before though, on balance. He used to just stay in bed for days on end, not even bothering to get himself cleaned or eat. Sometimes when he does manage to get out of bed, he just smokes blunt after blunt of weed. “It makes it more bearable.” He had once told Hanna.

He has mostly cut cigarettes and weed out of his life, but even now sometimes he does find himself rolling another joint. Old habits die hard. At least now, even on his bad days, he is still relatively functional. He showers. He eats. He just lounges around, or maybe fixates on doing things he does not usually do: Video editing and making animations, for example. Sometimes he just stares at the outside world from his balcony. He can see the Neckar river from his flat, and the solitude of the environment does somewhat soothe his nerves.

He hates being alone. But he hates being overwhelmed even more.

Today is one of his better days, in the grand scheme of things. It is late in the evening now, most of the tourists and inhabitants of the city have dispersed, and he is taking a walk in and around the _Altstadt_ , along the banks of the Neckar. The night breeze hits him in the face. It is somewhat refreshing, a reprieve from the unforgiving summer heat. _Fuck global warming_ , Matteo thinks.

He stops at a small path off the road branching off from the Neckar banks. He looks up, halfway up the hill is the Philosophenweg. Philosopher’s Path. “Maybe you just need to exercise more, Luigi.” Jonas’ voice rings in his ears. He shakes his head. Though he does start walking towards the opening. It is a curvy and steep path that snakes its way up the hill. Matteo is not really heeding Jonas’ advice to exercise, but he wants some solitude. He wants to clear his mind. This area late in the evening would be a place with few people, from his experience, so despite his loathe for physical exertion, he can bear the demands of slowly making his way up to the path.

He eventually makes his way to the path proper, gasping for air a little bit. At least Jonas is not here to judge him.

He stares off into the distance. The Heidelberg Castle is on the opposite side of the river, lit up by surrounding lights. His mind drifts off, thinking about everything and nothing. Brown eyes, olive skin, curly hair, pretentious hipster glasses, gummy smile, _David_.

He sighs. He knows that Jonas is shooting for David’s film today and tomorrow. He also remembers that somehow David is _much chattier around Matteo_ , as Jonas has told him. There is something pulling at his heart, thinking about _David_. But he pushes it down. Were it not for his head pulling him down under, he would have let himself dragged by Jonas to wherever they were shooting, but Matteo just does not have the energy to be around anyone right now. And he doubts someone as cool and talented as David would be interested in putting up with him either.

He sighs again as he pushes David out of his mind and starts walking back along the path down the hill towards his flat.

* * *

**28 July 2023**

_Freitag 23:59_

David sighs. He slowly strolls while reflecting on the past two days. Filming has been going relatively smoothly. There would obviously be some setbacks here and there, but they are still on schedule, so he cannot really complain that much.  
Filming for the day actually finished at 20:00, but somehow, despite feeling tired to his bone, David finds himself in Friedrichshain, strolling along the bank of the Spree.

There is one thing that he cannot shake out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried – blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin, soft voice. _Matteo_.

The lost eyes that bored into his.

The eyes that made David feel an urge to tell Matteo all his secrets.

_Tell me your secrets, and I will tell you mine._

His phone vibrates, pulling him out of his trance.

“Hey.”

“Are you still outside? Isn’t it past midnight already in Berlin?” Laura, who picked up on the sounds of the river, the wind and his footsteps. He sighs.

“Yeah.”

He kicks a little stone on the ground and starts surveying his surroundings. He can see the Oberbaum in the distance. It is quiet, and his surroundings getting more gentrified than he remembered from the last time he was here. As time goes on, the hipster-vibe of the district has slowly worn off. David decides he does not like it.

“I was going to ask how the filming is going…” Laura drawls, uncertain.

“It’s going great, really, we are making progress I think”

A hum. “Something else on your mind?”

“Mhm, how is the touring going?” He decides to change topics.

He can tell Laura knows he is diverting, but she plays along anyway – “Reykjavik is nice, the people are passionate, and the food is interesting. The Harpa is an awesome venue, and the city is a beautiful place, I think you will like this place…”

They proceed to talk more about Iceland, and about where the band is going to tour next, then at some point the topic circles back to the progress of filming. He opened up Instagram and started scrolling at some point. He taps on Matteo’s profile (look, David is not a stalker). No #FlorenziFriday, he realises. David leans against the railing and looks up to the sky.

“You seem quieter than usual.” Laura observes.

“Yeah. Just that…”

“Hm?”

“I saw this guy on set, like I don’t know, more than a week ago…”

“Okay?”

“…I got his face stuck in my mind since then. Like, I did not even talk that much with him, I’m not even sure if he would be interested, and I have this feeling of being pulled towards him. It is…I don’t know. Strange. This is not something that I planned for…” he trails off.

“I know you want to plan out everything in your life, but sometimes things are unpredictable, yeah?”

“Yeah.” David does not really know what to do. If he were being honest. “Look, Laura, I should probably head back, it’s nearly one.”

“I’ll let you go,” she pauses, “David?"

He hums.

"You know you deserve to be happy, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He hangs up and sighs. He surveys the surroundings again, then he starts strolling back home. Maybe a long walk will help him clear his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual: Please talk to me - that keeps me going.
> 
> So. I post a chapter when I am several chapters ahead. I am currently traveling, and while I originally planned to write when I am in my hotel at night, I ended up not doing it because: (i) we are traveling way more intensely than I expected; and, (ii) the city of my birth ended up becoming the centre of attention of the world for all the wrong reasons and I have been having breakdowns about the situation unfolding and the city's spiral towards demise.
> 
> Please bear with me. I am not abandoning this.


	5. “Wanna go somewhere?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matteo groans. Why did he give Jonas access to his day planner again?

**30 July 2023**

_Sonntag 16:23_

Matteo eventually showed his face back in Berlin early Sunday afternoon, with Jonas being _adamant_ to have a boy squad meetup in the WG, because in his words “we’ve missed you, Luigi”. Matteo rolled his eyes. Judging by the frequency of his eye-rolling, his eyes might as well get stuck in the back of his skull at some point. It is not like he ran off to South America for 30 years, but it is not like he will deny the opportunity to hang out with the boys.

So here he is, sitting in the living room of the WG, joint in hand, listening to the dumb conversations of his friends. Somethings never change.

“…so you’re telling me, you told the kid to get that bratwurst.” Abdi asks.

“Yes.” Carlos replies, as he takes a drag.

“So he bought a bratwurst. What’s wrong with that?” Abdi seems confused.

“Digga I thought you’re a stand-up comedian?” Jonas rolls his eyes.

“That’s because his fucking existence is comedy, Jonas.” Matteo supplies, voice rough from lack of use and from the weed. He has been silently smoking for the past 15 minutes.

“Oh digga, nice of you to join us!” Jonas says.

“Fuck off, you’re literally inside my home.” Matteo grumbles.

“Anyway. Digga, Bratwurst! Penis!” Carlos says, directing the conversation back on track.

“Yeah, and Hotels, Trivago.” Abdi deadpans. Then his eyes widen.

“Fuck, digga, how am I supposed to get that?” Abdi groans.

“You know, digga, I was going to say you are a good comedian, but how can you not get that reference?” Jonas says, pointing his joint at Abdi.

“Just proves my point.” Matteo mumbles, as he takes another drag.

He is greeted with a middle finger from Abdi.

“How was the filming?” Matteo asks, changing the topic from gossip of the exploits of some kid Carlos is representing. He is genuinely interested in the filming and how Jonas is doing. The film did pique his interest, and there is _definitely_ no ulterior motive on Matteo’s part, asking this question.

Yeah. Definitely not. There is absolutely nothing to do with a certain gummy smile. Not at all.

“Oh yeah, it was quite cool. We were at the Siemensbahn and then in Rüdersdorf…” “The Chemiewerk?” Abdi asks. “Yeah, all sorts of abandoned places. I think the whole cast is gelling quite well, Sara is really good at what she’s doing…” and Jonas continues to babble about the rest of the cast, and some of the dumb things they did on set, like one of the guys tripping over a pipe while filming, turning a heavy scene into absolute comedy.

“Even David cracked a smile at that! It was absolute comedy gold.” Carlos adds.

Matteo subtly perks up at the mention of David. Jonas notices, but says nothing, as he continues talking about the film itself. Something about a crumbling civilization, people turning against one another and the feeling of isolation. _Alone._ Jonas talks about how he is on board with David using the film to incite change, and about his conversations with David about the fight for change in society and young people’s voices in social discourse.

Jonas may lack brain cells sometimes, but when he is talking about social issues, he is suddenly overflowing with them. Matteo can make use of those, if he could borrow some. He zones out again, taking another long drag. Matteo is just not a person with _big opinions_ normally, so he really does not have much to contribute to the conversation.

At some point later on, Matteo goes into the kitchen to grab beers for the boys, because who is here to judge them for drinking before sunset?

He nearly dropped the bottles when he entered the living room, when he heard Jonas say excitedly, “Oh right! Luigi! David asked about you!” and then looking at him expectantly.

David Schreibner. Mysterious, cool, _gummy smile_ , David Schreibner. Asking about Matteo.

“David?” Abdi asks, suddenly alert.

“The David? Director David?” Carlos asks.

“Yes. David. Do we know any other David? Dumbass.” Jonas says.

Matteo is still rooted to the spot. Jonas is raising his eyebrows at him.

“Wait, why?” Carlos asks.

“I don’t know, he just pulled me aside on Thursday and asked if Matteo was going to show up.” Jonas says, “You see, last time when Luigi over there went with me to Teufelsberg? He and David were sat far away from all of us talking each other’s ears off, then when we were having lunch, David came and sat with us and the two of them were talking non-stop…”

Jonas, the traitor, of course exposes Matteo to his friends.

But wait, why does Matteo think he is _exposed_? There was literally nothing at all. It was just a friendly conversation. Matteo definitely did not feel a flutter in his stomach when he sees the blushy cheeks and gummy smile of David Schreibner directed at him. That is fake news.

“…he even got David full on smiling!”

“No way digga,” Carlos is now ganging up on him as well, “you got _David Schreibner_ to sit with you, saying more than ten words at you at a time, and smiling while doing all of that?”

“Do you have something that you need to tell us, Luigi?” Abdi, the dumbass, is now in on it as well. His dumbass friends are never gonna let him live, are they?

He just remembers the beers in his hand, shrugs, then hand one to each of them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s nothing to discuss.”

“Yeah. Sure. There’s no reason why David is back to _typical_ David on set last week. Right?” Jonas rebuts him.

Matteo just sits down, throws his hands in the air then turns away from his friends.

“You are coming with us on Tuesday, Luigi.”

“No.”

“You are. I know your schedule is free until Thursday.”

Matteo groans. Why did he give Jonas access to his day planner again?

* * *

**1 August 2023**

_Dienstag 08:45_

Fuck Jonas for dragging him outdoors, honestly. 

They are at the Tiergarten, apparently where they are supposed to be filming for the day. There is only a minor problem. It is pouring like there is no tomorrow.

So yeah, pouring is a massive understatement. There is no way any filming would be happening, Matteo thinks. He likes rain, but he hates being _outside_ while it is raining. It is too much of a hassle for him. He sighs, as he hides under a shelter.

It has happened again, when he arrived at the meeting point for the crew. Him and David staring at each other. Then David actually _smiled_. Eyes twinkling. Matteo’s heart definitely did not flutter at that sight. He will deny it to his grave if that is what he has to do.

This said person who made his heart flutter though, is now standing in the rain, umbrella in hand, directing a scene. Jonas is stood on the thin divider in the middle of the road, right in front of Siegessäule. In the rain. Staring into the sky. His hair now a mess because of the rain. Matteo can definitely understand why past-Matteo had such a huge crush on his best friend, because he looks so _good_. But there is something else that just _demands_ Matteo’s attention. _David Schreibner_. Clad in all black again, this time complete with a beanie. Eyes steely, brows furrowed, measuring the scene unfolding in front of him.

Matteo thinks David is crazy, or maybe a devil, or maybe a psychopath, having everyone filming while the sky is pissing down on them. Then he hears David “Okay, that’s enough! Thank you, Jonas.” He is walking towards Jonas, offering him his umbrella. _David is nice_. “Everyone find some shelter quickly, we are not going to get much done like this. _Leonie!_ Can you get someone to grab some towels and a change of clothes for Jonas?” He hears David yelling. _David is caring for others’ wellbeing_. So yeah, maybe David is not everything Matteo just described him as.

He looks at Jonas and David again. Oh. They are walking straight at Matteo. He stares at David again. Then he hears David talking to Jonas.

“Sorry about that, I know it is not scripted, but I think that scene is very powerful and had to do it.”

“Yeah, man, no worries. I think it will work out great, really.”

Then they are in front of Matteo. David is now staring at Matteo too. His eyes quickly sweep from head to toe of Matteo, and _holy shit is that David Schreibner checking me out?_ Matteo may be spiraling. In the meantime, Jonas is whisked away by Carlos and Leonie, so he could dry himself and try not catching a cold.

“Na?” Matteo says dumbly.

“Na.” David parrots him, while he pulls off his beanie and the pair of pretentious hipster glasses. And _god, is he beautiful, even when the curls are sticking in all directions_.

“So…no more filming for a while?” Matteo stutters out and smiles. _God, is he awkward_.

“Uh, yeah, we are not going to get anything done in the rain.” David replies with a hint of smile.

“I mean, you literally just made Jonas have a shower in the middle of Berlin.” He teases. Matteo is feeling brave, for some reason. His heart flutters when he sees David’s smile growing into a full-blown toothy smile. Matteo _likes_ it a lot.

He may even say David looks a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, the inspiration just hit me and I had to do it.”

They stare at each other some more. Matteo notices, belatedly, that David has a septum ring. It looks good. _Attractive_ , his brain supplies. It compliments well this artsy hipster vibe that Matteo thinks David is apparently going for.

David seems to realise he is staring at his septum, and fiddles with it, then, “Wanna go somewhere?” he asks.

Matteo’s eyes widen. He did not expect this. “Can you even leave the set?”

“Running away is my expertise.” David says. It is cheeky, but there is also an intensity behind those words that Matteo cannot quite decipher.

The mysterious boy that Matteo is so drawn to is now looking at him expectantly. How can he refuse that? His heart flutters a bit, but he ignores it. “Sure.”

They slip off while no one is looking, sharing an umbrella, walking shoulder-to-shoulder. Matteo feels fuzzy with the proximity. He can tell that David is wearing a fresh cologne. He is not sure what it is though. He subtly takes a deep breath. He cannot get enough of David. He can also feel David glancing at him from time to time when he thinks Matteo is not paying attention. Matteo smiles a little to himself. He feels like a teenage boy with a dumb crush all over again.

They end up at a café not too far away from the abandoned the film crew. Then it hits Matteo. David Schreibner, the _director_ , abandoned his film crew for _Matteo_. His stomach is doing flip-flops.

While Matteo is staring at the rain outside and spiraling internally, David got them some Italian pastries, complete with some herbal tea. He smiles at Matteo. “Thought I will treat the Italian with some Italian pastries and see how he thinks of them.” He says as he tilts his head playfully. Cheeky looks good on him and _oh god, that head tilt_ , Matteo thinks. He does not know why David acts so distant to other people usually, nor does he know why he seems to be an exception to the rule. Not that Matteo is complaining.

“Thank you for the treat, Mr. Schreibner, it is very nice of you.” Matteo is feeling cheeky as well. Being in the _presence_ of the enigmatic David makes him feels drawn to him; but being in the presence of this _cheeky and smiley_ David makes him feel giddy and his heart flutters.

David does not miss a beat, “Well, Mr. Florenzi, it is my pleasure to have your presence here.” And _holy shit are they flirting now?_ “I didn’t know now we are back to last name basis though” He smirks at Matteo.

“Says the guy who calls my dumbass friends ‘Mr. Augustin’ and ‘Mr. Schmidt’.” Matteo shoots back, imitating David’s tone we he says the names.

David rolls his eyes, but he cannot hide his gummy smile. And fuck, Matteo is _whipped_. He will give a lot to see that smile over and over again.

“That’s mean. You were actually laughing at me for that over the phone? Rude.” David shoots back. Crossing his arms, his wide smile giving him away.

“It certainly doesn’t look like you’re offended.” Matteo replies. David pouts at that. Matteo stops breathing again. He might actually spontaneously combust at how _cute_ David can be.

Their back and forth banter goes on for a bit longer, though eventually they start talking about other topics. Growing up with Jonas. Matteo’s group of friends. Matteo’s startup. (“Wait. No way. This is your game? _Peach_ is your company?” David says as he taps on his phone, looking for the app. Matteo just smiles. He is proud of himself.)

David talks about film school; about how he came to know Leonie and Sara; about some of his more popular projects on YouTube and the productions he has directed – and Matteo is undeniably impressed. David is very talented, and he looks _good_ while he is so focused, explaining things he is obviously very passionate about. He also talks about Laura and her band, and how Laura used to annoy him a lot to try to get him to join the band. (“You can sing?” “If I told you, I will have to kill you to keep you silent about it.”)

A small, worn book falls out of David’s backpack while he is rummaging for his copy of a script he has been working on for a future film, in the middle of him explaining the plot to Matteo. “There is also this deaf character…oh.” David notices and quickly moves to shove it back into the bag, but Matteo is quicker, and curious. “What is that?”

“Oh. Uh. My sketchbook.” David stutters. Still holding the sketchbook, frozen mid-motion.

“Can I see it?” Matteo asks. When David’s surprise turns into a look of conflict, he hastily adds “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I was just curious, sorry.”

David considers him for a moment, then gives him a small smile and gently offers him the sketchbook. “Just don’t open the pages where they are clipped together. Those are private.”

Matteo takes hold of the sketchbook, his fingers brushing David’s, and it feels like there is a jolt of electricity. Matteo looks up at David. He is staring back at Matteo. It looks like he felt it too. Both of them says nothing about it though.

He holds the sketchbook like it is something precious, and it might as well be, as he slowly and gently flips through the pages. David’s drawings are primarily drawn in black and white. While Matteo is by no means an artistic person, he can tell that many of these drawings have jagged edges and give off an ominous vibe. It is like the dystopian worlds that David is constructing in his movies. There is a man screaming. A boy sat, hidden in a corner. Someone standing at a cliff edge. Drawings of abandoned places. Matteo recognizes one of them – the listening post on top of Teufelsberg. There are also some other drawings that look like scenes they have been filming.

“The drawings are beautiful. You are really talented, man.” Matteo says softly, and David smiles back at him equally softly.

There are also some pages with pictures stuck onto it, then with a cut-out of a drawing stuck on top of it. A particular one catches his eye – a bird without legs stuck onto a picture of a tree, like it is flying past the tree, as it has no ability to land. “It is called a collage.” David teases him, when Matteo tells him how he thinks it is an interesting art form.

Matteo stands up and goes to the counter to look for more pastries and tea, when both of them realise they have consumed everything on the table already. David was about to go and grab something, but for once, Matteo is quick and preempts David, touches his shoulder as he walks past, saying “It’s only fair to be my treat, Mr. Schreibner.”

Matteo does not see David blushing.

Five long minutes later, Matteo returns with Green Tea and slices of honey cake.

“Thank you, Mr. Florenzi.” David says, while holding his gaze with Matteo. They fall back into easy conversation, as they continue to jump from topic to topic haphazardly.

“Are you going to pull the falling in love off screen bullshit for the leads?” Matteo asks, the topic somehow circling back to the film.

“Why not? It is not like this is a romance film after all. And I don’t think that is bullshit at all.”

Matteo makes a dissenting sound.

“People fall in love in all sorts of ways.” David says simply, but with some intensity laced into it. He is staring straight at Matteo.

“Okay.” Matteo does not want to argue, especially when David puts it like that.

They continue chatting softly about different things, while Matteo continues to flip through David’s sketchbook, skipping pages that are stuck together, and complimenting David when he sees something he likes. He can see some of the drawings are dated years ago. Many of those are the darker ones. Matteo makes no mention of it though.

“Ugh, this stupid weather is going to squander all the work we have done to be ahead of schedule.” David grumbles. Somehow, they are now talking about the weather.

“Hey, look. There is a piece of tea leaf is standing upright in your cup! You are going to have some good luck with the weather.” Matteo points out. The geek in him jumped out. He read about this Japanese superstition on the internet while he was hiding away in Heidelberg, surfing the net mindlessly.

“It’s just a tea leaf.” David says simply.

“Do you not believe in luck? Or fate?” Matteo asks.

“Not really. I believe in free will. I like deciding for how things will happen.”

“Mhm. Okay.” A younger version of Matteo would tell you that he is perfectly fine with things happening to him. He was _adrift_ at sea. He did not really care about anything other than getting through the day. Today’s Matteo is one that is more active in his pursuit for things he wants for himself. Like his startup. Though sometimes he still feels lost in life. He will still believe in things like luck and fate, and it is sometimes a good escape for Matteo when he finds life to be too overwhelming.

At one point, Matteo brings up his depression and his occasional need to disconnect from the world. He realises that David has not talked a lot about himself, personally. But Matteo is comfortable talking about this nonetheless. He is well past the point of his _fear_ of becoming like his mother. He knows he is getting better, little by little. Looking into David’s eyes just makes Matteo feel the want to reveal all his secrets to David, and honestly? Matteo does not care, not when David is looking at him so intently, listening to his soft voice, talking about everything.

He sees a look of realisation settle on David’s face when he mentions _disconnecting_ from the world. David does not say anything though.

“Jonas told me that you asked about me last week.” Matteo says, suddenly feeling shy.

Then he sees David blush, biting his lips a bit. Matteo stares at those lips. And fuck, those lips. Matteo wants to kiss those lips.

David ducks his head, “Yeah. I did.”

The moment is broken though, as a phone starts ringing. David’s. He picks it up.

“Hey.”

Matteo cannot hear what the person on the other end of the line is saying.

“Yes, Leonie, I am sorry.” David says with a smile, then holds his phone a bit further away from his ear.

 _Oh. Leonie._ Matteo thinks. _They do seem close_. Here he is clowning himself over a talented and stunning guy, and he does not even know if there is any chance at all that _David_ would be interested. His face falls. David does not notice.

“When did you become so dramatic?” David says, now full on grinning.

Matteo averts his eyes, focusing back on the sketchbook and continues to flip through the sketches.

“What do you mean it’s been four hours? Wait, what? _Shit_. I mean, it was raining…”

“That doesn’t change the fact the captain of the ship is gone!” Matteo hears Leonie yelling.

“Yes. Like I said, I am sorry.” He looks outside. “Look, seems like the rain is going to stop soon. What about we resume after lunch?”

Leonie is inaudible to Matteo once again.

“Yeah. Okay. We can do that. I am now at the café down the street from the Tiergarten. Yeah. Okay. See you.” With that, he put down his phone and looks at Matteo.

Matteo tries to school his face back to a nonchalant look, but he is already caught by David. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You seem to be pretty close with Leonie.” Matteo meant to say it in a light-hearted manner, but it came out laced with a tinge of jealousy instead.

David searches his eyes. After a beat, he says, “Leonie is just a close friend, and also, she is taken.” He offers a tiny smile.

Matteo stares at David again. David is staring back. _Is David staring at my lips?_ Matteo’s mind spirals again.

David is the first to break the moment though. “Do you want to come on board unofficially, as my _advisor_?” Matteo’s eyes widen. “You are good to bounce ideas off of. I mean, I know you are probably busy with _Peach_ and the sound stuff you are doing, but I would be glad if you can…” David is rambling. _David Schreibner. Rambling._ Matteo interrupts him though. “Yeah. I would like that, if our schedules align, I can come.” He says softly. His heart flutters when he sees David blush and gives him another bright smile. He can feel himself blushing as well. _David Schreibner_ just said he wants to have Matteo around.

Right at this moment, Leonie barrels into the café, Sara in tow. Matteo stares at their linked hands. Oh.

Leonie and Sara are also staring at them, eyebrows raised and smirking. Matteo shrinks under their gaze. David grabs his sketchbook, long since abandoned on the table, and gathers his things back into his bag. “Let’s go.” He says to Matteo.

They leave the café, Leonie and David leading the way back towards the Tiergarten. Leonie is talking David’s ears off about him _abandoning_ the whole film crew to have Leonie handle them; Matteo and Sara following them. Matteo feels slightly uncomfortable, walking next to Sara. Memories of them dating resurfacing.

Sara chuckles next to him. Matteo looks over and sees Sara raising his eyebrows at him. “So you kidnapped our director for the whole morning?” There is no malice behind it at all. Maybe a hint of teasing.

Matteo ducks his head. Hiding his blush. His pale Italian skin does nothing in hiding his blushes at all. “I didn’t kidnap him.”

“That’s a yes.” A pause. “You know? I don’t think I’ve ever seen David so happy and _light_ around someone other than his sister. Not even me and Leonie.”

“Oh.” Matteo does not know how he is supposed to process this information.

He feels Sara touching his elbow. “And he showed you his sketchbook?” Matteo nods. Not trusting his voice. “Not even Laura has seen that.”

His heart stopped. He stops walking. Sara stops as well and backtracks to Matteo. Surprise must show on his face, as Sara smiles kindly at him.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She is holding his upper arms. “I know you are a good person…” Matteo opens his mouth to disagree, but Sara does not let him. “No, listen, you are. You may be a dumbass, but you’re a good person at heart. I just want you to be careful. Please don’t hurt him, whatever’s happening.” She hugs him.

“Does David know? That we used to…?”

“No. He does not know it was you. You should though, you know.” Sara is kind. Even after this dating-her-despite-being-gay bullshit, she still thinks he is a good person?

“Thank you.” He responds silently. He hugs Sara back. Hard.

They break apart after a moment. Leonie is still pestering David, although now they are much further ahead than Matteo and Sara.

“Let’s get going? I certainly don’t want Leonie biting my head off for being late.”

Matteo, having calmed down, finds his cheeky self again. “You and Leonie huh?” smirking at Sara. She smiles back at him, then flicks his ear. “What about it?”

“I was just going to say you two are cute.”

Matteo runs, for the first time in forever, to avoid being strangled by Sara.

* * *

_Dienstag 21:21_

Matteo finds a sketch of a vampire in his backpack, when he got home that night. He smiles. He can recognise that art style from anywhere, after obsessing over the sketchbook. David. He does not even know when did David find the opportunity to _draw_ and _sneak it into his bag_.

He takes a snap of the drawing, opens his contacts and finds David – they exchanged contacts and Instagram following at some point in the café – and sends off the photo with a text.

“Found it.”

It is as good a first text as any other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for being so slow updating the fic, I have this chapter done for ages but I am holding on to my rule to have a three-chapter buffer before I post a chapter. I am still traveling but I hope I can get some writing in this week!
> 
> As usual, please do comment and talk to me. I reply to every single one of them and they drive me to continue writing!


	6. “You look good today.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You on the other hand, Luigi, do not really work with David, and sneaked off with him for hours, doing god knows what.”

**4 August 2023**

_Freitag 10:12 ___

Matteo dragged his body into work shortly before 10 AM. It is not a long commute by bike, but if you are Matteo Florenzi, by nature, you hate mornings with a fierce passion. The only reason that he is at work at this _ungodly_ time is because he has _partners and employees_ , so he cannot show up at 6 PM and work until 3 AM. A man can wish though.

Matteo has just been in the pantry making tea for himself. He didn’t drink that much tea before Tuesday, preferring caffeine to wake himself up. He was not even conscious of the fact that he nearly never makes tea at work until yesterday, when Marko, the principal artist for his game, raised his eyebrows into his hairline seeing Matteo making tea. He just shrugged and went on with his day.

Returning to his office, he sees someone sitting on the loveseat opposite his desk. He is not expecting anyone, and certainly not less than a quarter of an hour after he shows up. He was about to put on his _faux nice guy_ face to politely tell whoever this is to _fuck off_ when he realises this person is Jonas. The fact that he _cannot_ recognise his best friend shows that the boy squad’s braincell is evidently not in his possession today. Or that he should start drinking his tea to wake himself up.

He just silently walks past Jonas and around his desk to sit down with a sigh.

He sees Jonas looking at him, _smirking_. This cannot be good, Matteo thinks. He does not know what Jonas is up to this time. It is too early for his brain to provide him with any educated guess as well. He sips his tea to buy himself some time, trying not to spill it.

“Leonie told me that she caught you slipping away with David on Tuesday.”

“Yes, and Leonie is a General in the German Army.” Matteo’s _hating-morning-energy_ is overflowing, and he cannot help and make fun of the fact that he heard David calling Leonie _“General Richter”_ , complete with a salute, on set on Wednesday.

Matteo was on set on Wednesday as well, as he did not see a reason not to go, or rather, he had all the reasons he needs to go – the list comprises of one item: seeing David. Not that he managed to get David to himself like on Tuesday, as David was hell bent on making up lost ground. He just dragged Matteo to the side, somehow not noticed by anyone while that happened, so they could sit together alone in the corner while everyone on set were having lunch and chatted quietly, mostly about how the filming is progressing, not that Matteo minds.

They also texted a lot over the past few days, particularly in the morning (for David), during mealtimes, and late at night (for Matteo). They text each other about their respective day, their outlook for the upcoming days, and about the dumbest things anyone can imagine. Not that Matteo is inclined to let Jonas in on that fact anytime soon.

“You didn’t deny it.” Jonas simply ignores Matteo’s grumblings.

 _David_  
“I am missing FlorenziFriday :( Any chance for me to get my fix?” – 10:14

 _Matteo F._  
“It’s 10 AM. You’re lucky I’m even awake right now. Be patient, Mr. Schreibner :) ” – 10:14

It seems they are in the mood for dumb things this particular morning. He feels like he is a teenager with a dumb crush again. He is too old for this. He is 22, one of the leading partners at the helm of a growing software startup, and falling head over heels for someone.

Jonas coughs, and Matteo remembers he is in conversation with Jonas. “She didn’t catch us. David told her where we were.” He mutters.

“So you’re telling me, you sat in a café with the enigmatic David Schreibner for four hours, and you actually interacted.”

“I don’t know why you are making a big deal out of this, Jonas. You work with David every time you are on set, and you guys interact with each other way more than we do.” _At least in person_ , Matteo thinks.

“We talk because we work together,” Jonas says. Matteo gives him a _look_. “Okay, yeah we do talk a bit about other things as well, but it’s mostly about activism and other stuff like that.”

“You on the other hand, Luigi, do not really work with David, and sneaked off with him for hours, doing god knows what.”

 _David_  
“Princesssssss, I am starved of quality memes. My day is ruined. I need them to get my creative juices flowing” – 10:17

Matteo rolls his eyes at the message. At some point, he let it slip that he named the startup _Peach_ is a play on his nickname, _Luigi_. Not only that, but David also somehow found out that _Princess_ is Matteo’s nom de guerre as a developer. So David now calls him princess out of the blue sometimes when they text. At least he has yet to do so in person.

“It’s just a chat, Jonas.” He grumbles, while texting back David.

 _Matteo F._  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSPuRXkUWoU – 10:18  
“Enjoy this, hope it helps.” – 10:18

“Are you sure it’s nothing more? I mean, Luigi, don’t get me wrong, but I would be very happy for you if you finally stop with this happily single thing you have going on.”

“Do you think you will not know if there _is_ something? You know me, Jonas.”

 _David_  
“It doesn’t help at all :( Now I’m afraid that someone at home will assault me with a pillow for the sake of making music” – 10:19  
“I fell off the couch and now the girls are staring at me.” – 10:19

Matteo chuckles, looking at David’s text. David is such a dumbass sometimes, despite the persona he displays.

He looks up and sees Jonas raising his eyebrows at him.

“Just, there is nothing worth talking about, okay?”

* * *

David bursts out laughing, looking at the video of this bald guy recreating Billie Eilish’s song using a couch pillow, and falls off the couch. He types out his response to Matteo. This for sure brightened his morning, despite himself claiming otherwise.

Laura pokes her head out from the kitchen, where she has been with Leonie and Sara for the past fifteen minutes, doing god knows what. For all David cares, they could be planning his demise.

“Why are you on the ground?”

“I fell off?”

Now he sees two more heads poking out from behind Laura. Eyebrows raised. Leonie and Sara are so in sync sometimes and David hates them for that.

 _Matteo F._  
“You’ll survive.” – 10:21

 _David_  
“Maybe. But something else might kill me. Apparently, we are making roasted lamb tonight, but we only have Sauvignon Blanc at home.” – 10:22

They are both already used to random changes of topic or going off weird tangents while talking to each other at this point. What Matteo texts back catches him totally off guard though.

 _Matteo F._  
“So you need some red wine?” – 10:23  
“Just put some ketchup in the white. Or do it the other way, pour your white into the ketchup bottle, then drink out of it. Easy.” – 10:23

David’s eyes widen then he bursts out laughing, all the while still lying on the floor. He cannot even hide his huge grin after he has calmed down.

He is typing back a response when he hears Laura. “I have not seen that wide smile of yours in such a long time.”

“Oh, I have seen that several times on set these past few weeks.” Sara, that _traitor_.

He ignores them, finishing his text.

 _David_  
“Oh my god, I am dying. Are you sure you are half-Italian? That is like a culinary disaster waiting to happen. Tell me you never did this.” – 10:26

The response is quick.

 _Matteo F._  
“I am very much half-Italian. I will have you know that is my secret culinary dark arts that I have never let anyone know. (But no, I never did that and I don’t advise you doing that. I can’t take responsibility for you doing that.)” – 10:27  
“Also those are French wines :)” – 10:27

Somehow, Leonie is now crouched next to him, peeking at his phone. David quickly locks his phone and sits up, scowling at her.

“Was that Matteo?” Leonie asks, smirking. David knows that she saw it, and she is now being a little shit about it.

“Oh my god is it Matteo?” Sara joins by Leonie’s side, cooing at David.

“Matteo? Florenzi? Like the guy who was at my Berlin gig?” Laura asks, slightly confused.

“That would be the one. Although I didn’t know that he was at your show.” Leonie quickly replies, pre-empting David from denying it, while also raising her eyebrows at him. He groans.

“He is like, one of the most talented sound engineers I have worked with.” Laura says, her face looks like she is trying to recall about the show, or maybe a face.

“He is not a sound engineer.” David mumbles, automatically. Damn Matteo for hammering this into his brain. No one hears him though.

At the same time, Sara says to Laura, “He sure is talented, if he can make your brother smile like an idiot staring at his phone.”

Now, damn Laura and her goddamned band, she is cooing as well “Aww, my baby brother has a crush? It is about time, or like, already way too late.”

Technically, Laura knows that David likes someone, but now she has a face and a name attached to the object of David’s affections. He is not sure how to feel about that, as he did not expect to get caught and ratted out by Leonie and Sara so quickly.

“Fuck off.” He just grumbles, and stalks to his room, while the three of them just explode in laughter. They do seem to get a kick out of his miseries.

However, none of them need to know that he is straight back to texting Matteo as soon as he slams his door shut.

* * *

**5 August 2023**

_Samstag 19:28_

Matteo is running late, and now he wishes he had been less environmentally-friendly and took his car instead of public transport. Trying to get to the city center from home is sometimes a hassle.

He is in the Tiergarten district again, this time south of the Spree, walking down some street, trying to look for the restaurant David told him to meet at.

Yes. David Schreibner actually asked him out to have dinner together, Matteo has to remind himself. He pushes the d-word out of his brain though. Matteo might be getting attached, but many people will kill for having the attention of David, so he is by no means getting his hopes up.

Everything goes out of the window though, when he sees David standing on the side, reading something on his phone. His world stops spinning.

David is still wearing dark clothes, as if his wardrobe is just an abyss of dark attire, but he is wearing a deep blue button down with sleeves rolled up to the elbows, dark tight-fitting twill pants that are cuffed, complete with a pair of chestnut chukka boots. Broccoli hair also makes an appearance again, and the realisation hits Matteo, _David is dressed up for this_. He feels swept off his feet. As if the world hates him, David looks up right at this moment, and _did David just check him out?_

It is not as if Matteo did not put more thought into his outfit than he usually would. He definitely would be teased by Hans if he saw what he was doing. It mostly consisted of him picking a shirt from his wardrobe, trying it on, looking at the mirror and taking it off, rinse and repeat. He did end up with some proper-fitting clothes for once, so it cannot be too bad, by Matteo’s standards at least. He feels himself heating up a bit, when David looks at him like that.

“You look good today.” David says, tilting his head, after taking off his pretentious hipster glasses, Matteo within a few steps’ reach. The head tilt might actually be the death of Matteo.

Matteo tries to retort, but it comes out as a stutter. “Says the guy who… who looks like he just came out of a … photoshoot.” Then blushes.

David just rolls his eyes and pulls him by his arm to get him moving. “You are late.” He says with a faux-accusative tone.

Having recovered his composure a bit, Matteo can actually get a sentence out of his mouth without screwing up “I was trying to save the environment and swapped driving for public transport.”

“Did you fare dodge?” David raises his eyebrows at him. Of course he remembers the dumb story Matteo told him about running away from a controller on the bus when he was in high school.

“’Course not, I am an honorable man.” Matteo replies with a faux-offended tone.

David just hums then stops at the restaurant and talks to the waiter at the door. “Yes, I have made a reservation. Schreibner. Table-for-two.”

It is quite a hipster restaurant, Matteo observes, as they were seated by the window. The relatively small menu only adds to the hipster atmosphere, Matteo notes.

They decide on Confit char, Hohenlohe beef tatare and some tacos to share. Matteo observes the outside world through the window, while David makes the order with the waiter. He might be zoning out, watching the sea of people outside the window moving past. They are in the city center after all.

“I ordered oaked Chardonnay for us, I hope that is okay?” He hears David saying and snaps out of his trance.

He smirks at David. “People usually say white wine does not go with red meat…” he pauses for dramatic effect, “but I will say that is an excellent choice.” He is just being a little shit for the sake of it, and also maybe trying to hide that he is a bit nervous finding himself in this situation. “I mean I don’t consider myself a wine gay but that does not stop me from drinking wine.”

He was going for cheeky. Then after a beat, his own eyes widen. _Did he just offhandedly come out to David Schreibner while waiting for food on this I-don’t-know-if-it-is-a-date?_ He was about to freak out when David simply chuckles.

“Good to have your approval, though I’m not sure it matters given you told me to put ketchup into white wine to make them red. And I will have you know I definitely prefer wine to beer.” Acting as if he was totally unaffected by what just happened.

Matteo decides to play along. “Rude of you to insult my dark arts, and that is very un-German of you to prefer wine to beer.” He replies playfully.

“The dark arts that you never used, and wine is classier than beer. That’s the language I speak.”

“A classy hipster, are you? I see that.”

David looks like he has another retort on his tongue, when the waiter approaches the table and serves their dishes.

They fall into easy conversation over food. David is like another person in this environment, smiley, chatty, funny, witty, animated and occasionally dumb. It is a contrast with the _cold and guarded director with a deadpan who seemed to only wear the same outfit and sometimes a beanie even in the summer_ that Matteo witnessed on set. Matteo cannot help but wonder again why David found it necessary to portray that image of himself to others, and why he decided that Matteo does not fall into the category of ‘others’. He does not think he is in the position to pry though.

Food has long since been finished, and they are chatting quietly over wine. Matteo has lost track of how many glasses they have had. He is having a good time though, and it seems the same goes for David. He mentally pats himself on the back for deciding not to drive. He likes this. _He really likes David_ , but he quickly pushes it down as soon as the thought appears.

He observes David. His hair is fluffy, his cheeks are blushy, maybe from the alcohol, and his brown eyes are warm. His lips look so kissab… _no, don’t go there_ , he mentally slaps himself.

The civil war in his head falls silent quickly though, when David speaks again, apparently the topic his shifted again somehow.

“I am pan, by the way.”

His brain short-circuits for a moment. “You’re pan.” He just dumbly parrots.

“Yes. I am pan.” David is looking straight into his eyes, searching. Matteo’s brain registers that David just told him he is _pansexual_ and did not tell him that _he is a pan_ , or that _he is Peter Pan_. Sometimes drinking alcohol makes your brain tick in the dumbest ways. He realises he still has to respond.

“Oh, cool.” He smiles at David. “I mean, I did offhandedly come out earlier I guess.”

“You definitely did, and I definitely heard you.” David smiles back, tilting his head again.

* * *

Matteo looked panicked when he seemingly accidentally came out to David as gay, so he decided to divert the attention back to the other things Matteo said to avoid having him freaking out over it. It sticks in his mind though. _Matteo is gay_ , which means he might not be just seeing the things he _wants_ to see after all.

David _cannot_ get enough of Matteo, if he was being honest, but he is still scared. Matteo is _not_ part of his plan, and even if he accommodates Matteo into his plan, it means a risk for him to get _hurt_. That’s why he suggested a neutral ground, a hipster restaurant in the middle of the city, so that both of them can be comfortable, without the probability of anyone on his film crew disturbing them.

He vaguely decided that he will give this a _try_ , given that Matteo pretty much barged into his life and threw his contentment of being alone out of the window. He was unsure what to do though, given, David thinks, _David is David_. It has never been easy for David. He pushed it all out of his head, the distant demons of his parents, his schoolmates in high school and so on. Focusing on the boy in front of him.

He decided he would reveal a bit of himself to Matteo when he saw Matteo’s eyes wandering across his face. It also had something to do with the fact with the amount of wine they have consumed, which bolstered his courage somewhat. He holds his breath, having just told Matteo that he is pansexual.

“You're pan.” Matteo just dumbly parrots back at him. David is holding his nerve though, and affirms again “Yes, I am pan.” then stares straight into Matteo’s eyes to get the message across. Realisation dawns on Matteo’s face, then he _smiles_. “Oh, Cool.” David lets out a breath he does not know he has been holding.

They ended up staring at each other for some time again, until a waiter comes to the table and tells them it is the last order for the bar section, and David realises it is already 23:30. He thanks the waiter and picks up the tab. Matteo looks like he is going to disagree, but David has none of it. He knows what he wants.

When the waiter leaves their table, David leans across and whispers playfully with his eyebrows raised, “Consider this a date.” complete with a head tilt.

David is nervous, saying that, but it is worth it, he thinks, when he sees Matteo duck his head and blush.

They walk out into the summer evening side by side, the streets much more deserted by now. There is a charged silence between the both of them, suddenly, as David walks Matteo to the U-Bahn station before planning to take a bus himself. As they stand in front of the station entrance, under the dim-light, they stare at each other again. They do this a lot, David realises. He then sees Matteo’s eyes drifting to his lips. David wants this, really. But not yet. He pulls Matteo into a hug instead, feeling Matteo melt against him as they wrap their arms around each other.

They stood there for a while, in each other’s arms. When they break apart, David says softly, “See you at the filming, yeah? Monday morning. At the Glienicke.”

Matteo just smiles at him with his lopsided smirk, seemingly unaffected by the fact that he was essentially denied his wish of getting a kiss. “I’ll be there.”

* * *

**7 August 2023**

_Montag 08:05_

David is standing on the Berlin side of the Glienicker Brücke, famously known as the Bridge of Spies, but in David’s eyes, another symbol of division – if you know of Berlin’s and Germany’s history of division. It is relatively quiet for a Monday morning, as he observes boats passing by.

He suddenly feels a presence next to him. He glances, and sees Matteo standing by his side, surveying the Havel River. _He seems to want to say something_ , David thinks.

“Na?” He prompts.

“Na.” Matteo parrots.

Then silence. David turns back to observe the ships on the Havel. He has time for this, the call time is not until 09:15. He finds it a bit surprising, even, that Matteo is already here, and looking properly awake. As far as David knows, Matteo did not text him to alert him to the fact he would be here early.

“I want to tell you something.” Matteo says nervously, after a few moments of silence.

David hums, telling Matteo he is listening. He is not sure what Matteo wants to talk about at eight in the morning, but he is not sure if he should ask either.

“I used to date Sara. Back in high school.” Matteo says quietly, “Before I came out and everything. I was so desperate to fit in and not have to explain myself.” There is a vulnerability in his voice, as if David might take issue with it. It also fits in as a factoid, that the guy Leonie and Sara once talked about is none other than Matteo.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Matteo parrots. They parrot each other a lot, David realises, and he finds it a bit dumb. Not that he would change that for anything though.

“Yeah. You know what you want now, don’t you?” He realises he came out a bit flirtatious as soon as he said that, so he hastily adds, “I mean, Sara sure does, for that matter.” He can still see Matteo blushing a bit at that.

“Anyways, what managed to make you wake up so early?” he smirks at Matteo.

“I was researching for Matteo Monday.” Matteo says with a deadpan.

He just barks out a laugh, then sits down on the bench along the lookout point and pulls out a thermos. “Fancy some morning coffee?” he asks Matteo.

Matteo follows him and sits down next to him. “Sure, though I didn’t know you drink coffee too, Mr. Schreibner.” Ah, here comes the last names thing again.

“Why can’t I drink coffee? It’s eight in the morning on a Monday.” David retorts. He does drink coffee, thank you very much. He just prefers tea at most times unless he really needs caffeine to energize himself. Not that he would tell Matteo why he finds the need today. Not yet.

He pours a cup and hands it to Matteo, who is oblivious to the clouds in David’s mind. He would be able to push it away when he is properly energized, David tells himself.

They were enjoying the comfortable silence between them, staring off into the distance looking at nothing, when Leonie plops down by his side out of nowhere. He looks over at Matteo and sees Sara by his side, they are already talking.

Seriously, what’s with everyone showing up unusually early and appearing next to him without him noticing?

“Morning you two, what are you two doing out here so early?” Leonie asks, wiggling her eyebrows at David. David wants to facepalm so bad.

“Morning to you too, Field Marshal Richter.” He hears Matteo saying.

“Oh, when did Leonie rank up to Field Marshal?” David asks jokingly.

“When she rescued the director from being kidnapped by an Italian, apparently?” Matteo replies without missing a beat. Witty, David thinks.

He just smiles his gummy smile at Matteo, while Matteo smiles back, both of them ignoring Leonie and Sara.

Until Leonie obviously fake-coughs to get his attention, and he looks over.

“Fancy going through the list for today anytime soon? We are going to move into Potsdam as we go along after all.” Leonie says while smirking.

“Yeah.” David says, then remembers something, “oh, I’m adding Matteo to our group chat, so he gets to know what is going on.” He says like it is no big deal, while tapping away on his phone, doing just that.

He hears three phones buzzing when he is done and looks up. Being met with Leonie’s face with her eyebrows having disappeared. Presumably into her hairline.

“Why is that?”

“Uh, well, I got Matteo on board as sort of an unofficial advisor to me?” He suddenly realises how dumb that sounds.

“And what for?” Leonie prods, then fake gasps “are you going to replace me with the Italian?”

“Never, my _field marshal_.” David laughs while saying that.

“For sound engineering I suppose. Although I told him I’m not a sound engineer like a hundred times.” Matteo adds after David.

Leonie looks like she is not entirely convinced and shares a look with Sara. Sara raises her eyebrows at David, and David rolls his eyes at Sara. _No, we are not talking about this._

After quickly going through the rundown with Leonie, he is all business, and explains to Matteo what they are trying to do with this scene on the bridge. They have several actors that are going to be in deep conversation, as they cross the bridge on foot into Potsdam. David then tells Matteo what the sound crew has suggested when they discussed this this scene, and also what he thinks the scene should play out.

“It sounds pretty solid.” Matteo says simply.

David blinks, then “That’s all?”

“I mean, unless they muck it up, that looks pretty good.”

Sara just giggles and says, while smirking at David “advisor huh? Very insightful.”

At that Matteo has the audacity to laugh, and David just huffs and mutters “I hate you both.” He cannot believe they are ganging up on him. Then Matteo throws an arm over his shoulder and says, “I meant it though, you are good and this should work well.” David just rolls his eyes and smiles slightly at Matteo.

Soon after, the crew is ready, and they start filming. David gets in the zone, watching everything unfolding like a hawk. He knows Matteo is somewhere behind him, further away, presumably observing the set.

At some point, while the whole crew progressively moves into Potsdam, following the scene as it plays out, he turns, trying to grab his notes from Leonie, and he sees Matteo, who actually is observing the set with the intensity that matches David’s when he is in the zone, and he stares at those piercing blue eyes that seem all-seeing in the flurry that is a film cast. Until he feels Leonie nudging at him, and he is alert of the fact they are still filming. It was just a few seconds, but still, David nearly never lost his focus on directing, barring the afternoon on Teufelsberg. This time though, he finds it easier to focus back on his work, maybe partly due to the fact that Matteo is no longer just something that he is gravitated to and is intrigued about, but someone who seems to have something mutual with David, and there is less of an urge to find out more about Matteo that invades all of his thoughts. They don’t have a word for that though, what this is.

They are in Potsdam for lunch. This time, he is sitting with Matteo, Leonie and Sara. For once, David is not getting a sandwich as lunch, and the four of them are chatting about how the film is coming along so far, Matteo actually making useful contributions to the conversation, mostly about technical things, as if he has always been here. David likes the idea of this.

“Jonas does not even have to be here until after lunch, why are you even here?” he hears Matteo asking Sara.

Then it registers in his brain – Matteo came alone when his friends, who initially, in Matteo’s words, _dragged him along_ , would not even be on set for the morning.

“Well, since Leonie is here, of course I am going to be here. It’s not like I have anything to do for the morning anyway.” Sara says like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

“Cute.” Matteo remarks.

“Matteo, I swear to god…” Sara mutters, as Matteo giggles. The same soft giggling sounds David heard on the phone all those weeks ago. David might be swooning.

He also belatedly concludes that Matteo is here early, for him. It warms his heart.

They continue talking about the film, until Jonas and some other actors for the afternoon shows up, readying up for the filming.

As they are filming, another realisation strikes him. He is glad that he has casted Jonas for the film. Okay, partly is due to the fact that this brought Matteo into his life, however terrifying the thought may seem to him sometimes, but also due to the fact that Jonas has such a range that really gets the emotions across, and he also seems to bring the cast into the fold with his acting as well.

They finished their filming right on time in the Sanssouci. As he wraps up the debrief, he sees Matteo in conversation with Jonas again, and remembers Teufelsberg. He was bracing himself for disappointment, when he sees Jonas walking off, talking to someone else on cast, and sees Matteo walking towards him, smiling as he reaches him.

“Fancy having dinner together, Mr. Schreibner?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am back with another chapter again.  
> Sorry for the late update as I have sat on this excessively long. I am recently back from my travels, so technically I should have more time for writing - though it also means more distractions at home. I think in flight is the best place to write.
> 
> I have made more ground on writing a later chapter (I am not going to reveal how far ahead am I :P ) though I have some blocks on how to structure plot points, I am still trying to forge ahead though!
> 
> In the intervening time between this update and the last, I somehow wrote a chapter of a prequel of this Director AU that looks at Leonie and Sara. I am still a bit on the fence about it, so please let me know over at that fic if you wish to see me continue with it.
> 
>  
> 
> [ Read _Would you open your eyes?_ here ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19370131/chapters/46086898)
> 
>  
> 
> As always, please comment :) I love reading all your comments!
> 
>  
> 
> As a personal message in light of recent events: #FreeHongKong


	7. "I can use some company."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allow me to introduce a groundbreaking concept: **Stop reading this fic if you do not enjoy it.**
> 
> I have said time and again I am by no means an experienced writer, and that I accept constructive criticism, but if you just write elsewhere, in a different language, that you think this is shit, it is downright rude. The door is right there, get out.
> 
> * * *
> 
> To all my other lovely readers: Thank you for sticking around :)
> 
> At long last, the updates resume!
> 
> If you follow me on Tumblr, you might have read my post explaining that I needed more time to decide whether the plot arc was going in the right direction, and partly thanks to my friends at the DOD, I am ready to update this fic again!
> 
> Enjoy :)

**8 August 2023**

_Dienstag 09:07_

David is tired. Yesterday evening, Matteo actually took the initiative to invite David to dinner. Matteo drove them back into Berlin and headed to a more low-key diner closer to both their homes for a late dinner. While wine is not included this time, there was still an underlying tension in their interaction that both of them did not acknowledge. They still chatted a lot about everything, about Laura and her band, about Matteo’s flat share, about the day’s filming and everything else. They did not stay out as late as last time. Matteo wanted to drive David home, but he insisted it is only a few stops away and Matteo should get home and rest up. They only hugged when they part not without a bit of lingering, David again feeling Matteo melt into him as they did so.

He may have tossed and turned in bed at night. The one thing he wants to say was on the tip of his tongue, but he just could not get it out into the open. David thinks he _wants_ this, but he is not sure he _can_ have this, especially when _the thing_ is out in the open. He is not sure if he can bear letting it out and have Matteo walking away because of that. He knows he has Leonie and Sara to show for when it comes to proving that people would stay, but David is _afraid_. The wounds are still too fresh. The demons are still not far in the background. He is not sure when it would heal, if ever.

He sighs as he leans against the railing of the balcony of the flat that they have rented out as the set of their filming for the day. They have been filming outdoors scenes so far, so it is a nice change of pace, working indoors, no longer at the mercy of the weather and the elements.

Maybe for once, David will not sweat buckets given the way he dresses.

Matteo is not here today, as he told David over dinner last night that one of the projects at Peach demands his attention, that there is a new game they plan to release fall this year, and he had his schedule for the rest of the week filled to compensate for the fact he cleared Monday for going to David’s filming. Matteo is not officially on his crew, nor are Matteo and David _an item_. Matteo has his professional life, and so has David. It is really normal to not have Matteo around, but David cannot help but miss seeing the blond hair popping around the set, those piercing blue eyes looking at him and the soft smiles directed at him.

“What’s up with you and Matteo?” Leonie, who once again appeared by his side without him noticing, asks casually. David starts to think maybe it is more about the fact that his mind is too deep into something, or rather a certain someone, that just makes him stop paying enough attention to his surroundings.

David turns, then he sees Jonas next to Leonie. Is _Matteo’s best friend_ now also going to gang up on David?

“Nothing.” He mutters. It is not like it is a lie. Him and Matteo did not talk about whatever is happening after all.

Or in fairness, is there anything that can be talked about at all? If we are being technical right now. People can text incessantly and go on lunch dates and dinner dates (if David can call all of those dates) and still not mean to have anything more than what you see on the surface.

They can, can they?

“Nothing?”

“Nothing worth talking about.” Now that is a lie. He might be secretly losing his mind about a certain boy with blond hair and stormy-sea eyes, but he is not sure if he wants Jonas to get a glimpse into his head, or what he thinks about Matteo, or how Matteo makes him think. He is just generally not ready to talk about this yet, if he will ever be ready to talk about it.

How Matteo does not fit into his plan, but he cannot stop letting Matteo find his way into his head. How it makes him _want_ , and also makes him _scared_. How he feels like he is walking in the dark, reaching for the sun.

“That’s what Matteo told me last week too.” Jonas, joining in on the conversation. David does not need this now, or ever.

He sighs.

“I mean, Matteo seems happier than he usually is. So I am happy for him, whatever is happening to him.” Jonas continues.

“He was grinning like an idiot lying on the floor one day last week.” Leonie supplies, gesturing at David. As if she is not standing right next to David.

“Leonie!” David says under his breath, with a hint of a warning.

Jonas, seemingly sensing that the conversation is not welcomed and that he should probably leave David alone, moves to get back inside. “I’ll leave you two and get back to the preparations.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Leonie apologises, after Jonas gets out of earshot.

“No, it’s fine,” he pauses, “it’s just that…I have not figured out what _this_ is. Or what it means.” He looks away, taking a deep breath. “I haven’t even told him. About _that_.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“Do not feel obliged to say anything, if you don’t want to. You don’t owe anyone anything.”

“I want this. I just…” he trails off.

“So there is something after all?” Leonie says light-heartedly.

“Yeah.” He sighs.

“Take your time. Don’t push yourself. I know it is hard for you.” Leonie says, while giving him a side hug. “You deserve happiness though.”

He vaguely recalls Laura telling him the same thing recently. What is with people around him thinking David _deserves happiness_? What does that even mean? He is very much happy with how his plan for life has unfolded and how he is now directing a film at age 22.

He knows perfectly well what Laura and Leonie meant. He wants _happiness_ too, but he just does not want to acknowledge it and open himself to the possibility of getting hurt.

After a minute or two, Leonie is back into business, again going through the rundown and the set up with David. He is glad that he has Leonie working with him. He would not change it for anything else.

When everything is ready to go, he pushes everything out of his mind and focuses solely on the things unfolding before him. This is what he does well. They make decent progress for the day. Nothing to complain or worry about.

* * *

**11 August 2023**

_Freitag 12:47_

There is no filming for Friday. Having scheduled an intense itinerary for the week and actually making good progress, David decides to keep Friday blank, so everyone on crew and cast can get some rest with a long weekend. They would not get back to work until Tuesday, though next week’s schedule is markedly less intense than this week. He drives himself to work hard, but he can hardly drag the whole cast along with him, on top of the fact that Leonie would not let him hear the end of it if he even so much tries to go crazy with work.

David has the whole flat to himself, as Laura and her band have left for a gig in Munich earlier in the week and would not return until Sunday. He originally planned to stay in for the day, maybe doing some new sketches or working on some script ideas, obviously after getting his morning run out of the way. However, as midday crept closer, he feels the urge to see Matteo. He misses his face. They have not seen each other since the dinner _not-date_ date after the Potsdam filming day, and while they still incessantly text each other. David wants to see Matteo in the flesh.

This is how he finds himself standing in front of a building on Torstraße, an address Matteo once texted him, saying that it is where Peach is. He stares at his text messages again.

 _David_  
“Fancy some food for lunch?” – 11:03

 _Matteo F._  
“Can’t leave the office, shit is going down” – 11:47

 _David_  
“Mind if I come by? I can bring food.” – 11:51

 _Matteo F._  
“Can we have Chinese?” – 11:52

 _David_  
“You bet. See you at 1.” – 11:55

 _Matteo F._  
“Thank you, Mr. Schreibner.” – 12:03

He looks at the take-out bag in his hand again and sighs, then walks into the building and takes the lift to the floor where Peach is. He kind of decided on a whim that he would do this with Matteo. This is not planned, and this would be the first time he is in Matteo’s space. He feels out of his depth.

He tells the receptionist that he is here for Mr. Florenzi, and was told he is expecting him, and gave him directions to his office. _And seriously? They have a receptionist?_ and _this office space is not small at all_. Matteo may have been seriously selling it short when he told David it is a startup and playing down his work in general. In fairness, Matteo did do that, considering how they are the developer of one of the most popular mobile games in Germany right now, under no circumstance would _Peach_ be a small venture.

Everything that is racing in his mind are quietened, though, when he stops in front of Matteo’s door. Matteo is currently deeply focused on something that is on his screen, his fingers typing on the keyboard at speeds that should not be humanly possible. He stares at his hands through the glass door, waiting for a pause in Matteo’s fingers, then knocks on the door. Matteo looks up with a frown, but _beams_ at David when he sees who is at the door.

_Maybe Matteo misses David as much as David misses Matteo._

David thinks it is a dangerous thought. Then again, David has caught Matteo staring at his lips a handful of times by this point, so where is the lie?

There is something going on, but they are just very stubbornly not talking about it.

He lets himself in, as Matteo is still seated at his desk and stupidly beaming at him, with no intention to let David in. When he turns back around from closing the door though, Matteo is right in front of him, reaching behind David and flipping a switch. The glass paneling of the room all turning opaque.

No one needs to know David’s breath hitched with the sudden proximity.

“Don’t want nosy people while I have lunch.” Matteo says simply, in lieu of a greeting.

“Hello to you too, Princess.” David cannot resist calling Matteo by his dev name. He still finds it ridiculous that Matteo actually founded a company based on his nickname then picked a name that is even more ridiculous for himself.

Matteo groans. “Will you ever stop poking fun at that?”

“Nö.” He smiles at Matteo cheekily.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Matteo just rolls his eyes and drops the topic. “I am starving.”

David rounds Matteo and places the bag on the coffee table, seeing as Matteo’s desk is like a warzone with paper flung everywhere, and takes out the two containers.

Matteo has other ideas, however, clearing a space on the desk (which really just meant chaotically shoving paper out of the way into a disorganised pile) and takes a container to his seat, gesturing for David to come to the desk as well. He then does the impossible of simultaneously eating with chopsticks like a disaster, typing on his computer and talking to David. David is not sure if he wants to know how he manages to do this, especially when Matteo is eating like an uncivilised gremlin. _He isn’t like that when we eat in public._ David is quite sure. He just rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at his antics though.

Halfway through their respective meals, Matteo suddenly drops his complaining about lootboxes and _sense of accomplishment_ and his regular wrangling against people who loves lootboxes with a passion and asks him, “Where would you go if you can just drop everything and travel?”

“Detroit.”

Matteo raises his eyebrows at him. “Detroit?”

“Yeah. Best music city ever.”

Matteo just points at the headphones slung around David’s neck and snorts. “Okay, Mr. Hipster.”

“Hey!” David says with mock outrage. He is endeared, really, by Matteo.

Especially when he sees Matteo rifling through a pile of paper next to him, grabs a pen with a boxing camel on it (David just stared at it.), scrawling something onto it, then stands up to pin it on the board on the sidewall.

David pretends to not see that Matteo literally wrote _DETROIT_ on the paper.

Eventually, when David finishes his meal, which is long after Matteo who seemed to have scarfed down his meal, Matteo changes topics again.

“So, I know you play our game.”

“Mhm.”

“What’s your account name? I wanna see how good you are.”

“I’m not telling you that.”

“Why not?”

“Why do I have to tell you?”

“Because I want to know?” Matteo says like it is the simplest thing in the world. “What? Do you cheat and think I will ban your account?” He taunts.

He rolls his eyes. “Nö.” He starts tapping and scrolling on his phone to look for the game and opens it, then slides it across the table to Matteo. “Here you go, ass.”

“You are the one being an ass.” Matteo shoots back, then picks up the phone, tapping around, then his eyes widen, then bursts out laughing.

“thelegend27? Are you for real?” He gasps out in between laughter. David feels offended. He knows where this name came from and he is proud that he managed to snatch it before anyone else could.

“What.” He mutters, eyes shooting daggers at Matteo.

“I'm supposed to be playing Game of War but this one player keeps kicking my ass. Is it TheLegend27?! Yeah, TheLegend27.” Matteo starts imitating.

The cursed, cancerous commercial for that particular game from the mid 2010s springs to mind again. Seriously, what people pull out their phones and start playing a mobile game when they are sat around a campfire? Do they even have internet connection?

David just bursts out laughing at Matteo’s attempt. “Okay,” he pauses to gain his breath back, “I like this name though. It’s iconic.”

“It’s funny. You’re funny. I didn’t have you down as a meme person.” Matteo says as he slides David’s phone back across the desk.

“Who is being the ass now? And isn’t shit going down supposedly? Why are you laughing at my username?”

“That is prime entertainment right there. I mean, I do have to make some progress on this.” He gestures at the document in front of him that he has been reading while waiting for David to finish. _Beta reports_ , David sees at the top of the page.

“Should I leave you alone then?” He gestures at the door.

Matteo looks at the door, then back at him. He seems to be thinking about something. Then he says slowly. “Do you have somewhere to be for the day?”

“No, but…”

Matteo cuts him off. “I can use some company, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I have my sketchbook with me. I can draw.”

Matteo smiles at him. “Make yourself comfortable.”

David moves to the loveseat by the door, while Matteo focuses back on the things in front of him, seated such that he is facing David. He surveys Matteo’s office.

It is quite impersonal, in his opinion, just having a huge white board with ideas written all over it, and a pin-board on the opposite wall with a bunch of things pinned onto it, including the paper with _DETROIT_ written on it. David is not even sure anyone can actually read what is pinned on the board, given the extent of the clutter that is happening on there. A large window behind Matteo, overlooking the street. Two chairs opposite Matteo at the L-shaped desk. A loveseat that David is currently seated. Documents scattered on the desk. Three monitors to the right of Matteo. A desk plant to Matteo’s left.

David starts drawing, taking in this environment, and draws Matteo focused on his work. He loses track of time as he gets absorbed by drawing.

He startles when he feels the loveseat dip, Matteo sitting down next to him, closing his sketchbook by reflex. He turns and looks at Matteo. A blush forming on Matteo’s pale skin. _Matteo saw it_. He is sure.

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” David is not sure what he is apologizing for. Drawing Matteo? Closing his sketchbook?

“No, hey. It’s fine. It’s your sketchbook.” Matteo says softly.

He hums in response, then looks at his watch. It is 16:25.

Matteo seems to realise the time too.

“I need a break from those,” he gestures at his desk, somehow even messier than when he started, “fancy a toastie?”

“The hell is a toastie?” David barks out a laugh.

“Sandwiches, toasted by the toastie maker? We have one of those in our pantry.”

“So a panini? Made with a panini maker?” David tries.

“Toastie.”

“To hell with it. Let’s just call it a sandwich. I would love to have a sandwich, made by the Italian who claims to be a good chef.”

Matteo rolls his eyes but smiles, “I know you have a sandwich fetish.”

“Hey! Rude.”

“I will have you know my culinary skills are what people die to have the chance to experience, and you will love what I make for you.” He says as he stands up and move to the door. The panels are still opaque, David realises, but he does not think he minds. They are in their own bubble.

“I look forward to it, Mr. Florenzi.”

Matteo smiles softly at him then ducks out of the room.

David opens his sketchbook again, flipping to the page with the sketch of Matteo, and continues to add finishing touches to it. Another tiny piece of Matteo forever etched into his sketchbook.

Eventually he returns with a plate with two sandwiches.

The sandwich was _heavenly_. And it was made _in a pantry and not a kitchen_. There is one more thing on the list of _What David likes about Matteo_ : He is an amazing chef.

They settle back into what they have been doing when they finished the sandwiches. Matteo handed him a laptop at one point when he decided he has had enough sketching for the time being. He is researching directions to a place (in incognito mode, obviously) when he feels a hand on his forearm.

“I have a meeting next door. I hope it will be quick.”

David glances at the clock on the laptop, it is 18:03. He has seriously spent the whole afternoon and will possibly spend at least part of the evening in this bubble with Matteo.

He also decides he likes being in Matteo’s space. Matteo is welcoming and at the same time gives David all the room he needs to be comfortable in his space.

“Okay.”

“Be here when I am back?” Matteo’s eyes are pleading, if you squint.

David melts a little. “I will.”

They go for dinner together later in the evening, when Matteo decides he is done for the day soon after returning from the meeting that ended up taking a good part of an hour.

“I will cook something for you one day for real. I am so beating this.” Matteo told him with a mouthful of pasta. David just smiles and rolls his eyes at Matteo’s confidence. He does not think about the underlying promise.

* * *

**13 August 2023**

_Sonntag 16:43_

Laura has returned from Munich earlier in the day, now bustling about in the kitchen with Linn, which David finds to be an increasingly common occurrence. He is currently sitting in the living room, on his laptop reviewing footage they have so far shot for the film. He is quite satisfied with what they have so far, showing the struggle and isolation of the disadvantaged and those who seek to change the status quo. It also shows the abandonment of those who buck the trend of following the majority by those who they are close to and their unwanted status as pariah and also their internal struggle. It shows the desolation of the dystopia which peoples’ inaction allowed the world slipped into. Now they just need to show the actual fight. David knows how it will turn out, in his world-view set forth for this film.

He is writing down some notes on the scenes to pass on to the editors to better represent what he wants for the final product when Laura slides into the seat next to him with a plate of pancakes. There are still sounds coming out of the kitchen, presumably Linn still cooking up something else. David reaches over to snatch a piece of pancake out of Laura’s plate.

“So. Matteo.” Laura says out of nowhere. David nearly chokes on the pancake.

After he gets it properly swallowed, he finally gets a strangled “What?” out of his mouth.

“How is it?”

David knows what Laura is talking about, but he decides to play dumb.

“There is nothing to talk about.”

“Really?” She does not buy it for one second.

“Yes. No. Look, Laura, it is complicated.”

“Is it because…?” Laura does not finish her question, but she does not need to.

“Yeah.”

“Did he…?” Laura is hesitant, but that is not the problem. David cuts her off before she finds the words to finish the question.

“No. I just didn’t say anything.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“He seems to make you happy though.”

“Yeah.”

Laura drops the topic when Linn finally walks out of the kitchen, with even more pancakes in her hands. She offers a plate to David.

David takes it from Linn, but he has lost most of his appetite, he still gets a few down his stomach before he offers the rest of the plate back to Laura and Linn. Pancakes at 5 pm is kinda weird anyway.

He stalks back into his room, deep in thought.

He wants Matteo. But he cannot let himself want Matteo if that thing is left untold. He sighs and starts drawing in his sketchbook.

He pays no mind to the fact that he has once again drawn Matteo without intending to. Or maybe he does.

* * *

**15 August 2023**

_Dienstag 15:29_

Matteo leaves the office for a _medical appointment_. Which is technically not a lie. He does have an appointment, at a place of medicine. Only there is the fact that, Matteo is not sick. On top of that, the person he is seeing is not the doctor he usually visits, or his therapist. 

He walks in the room, for his _appointment_. With Dr. Mahmood. Or, Amira.

“Hey, Na?” Amira greets him with a fist bump as he enters the room.

“Na.”

Matteo sits down on the chair, as if he is really a patient.

“So, what brings you here today?” Amira asks, though continuing, “I thought you hate coming in here.”

Amira isn’t wrong. Matteo does hate going to doctors’ offices. But that’s not the point. He wants to talk to Amira.

“I like someone.”

Amira considers him for a beat. She is not one to show too much of what she thinks on her face, but Matteo knows her too well. She is surprised.

“Really?” Skepticism evident, given Matteo’s general disinterest in the past.

“Yeah. But like, we haven’t talked about what this is. I felt something is there but…I don’t know. This is so fucked. I don’t know what I am doing.”

“You are afraid?”

Matteo shrugs.

“Do you remember what I told you on the day for your biology abi?”

“That the fear I am feeling is just strength hiding inside me that wants to get out?”

“Mhm.”

“And you are saying that I should do something about it?”

“I am saying sometimes there is really nothing to be feared.”

* * *

_Dienstag 21:21_

David went silent for the evening after texting that he was going to get dinner. Matteo figured he might be busy or tired and thus just dropped off, when his phone vibrated suddenly.

 _David_  
“Friday 11:35. Pick me up at Torstraße. Get your car, we are driving out.” – 21:21

It is out of the blue, given they were texting about recipes Matteo is thinking of making before, and there is not any explanation of what or why David is getting him to drive somewhere. As far as Matteo knows, David did not mention going anywhere in the group with Leonie and Sara either.

He trusts David anyway.

 _Matteo F._  
“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have not read the Leonie/Sara prequel of this AU, I recommend checking it out! I have added FOUR (4) chapters to it in the intervening time between this and last update.
> 
> As always, please comment!


	8. “…Until now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Walks in*  
> *Spills the tea*  
> *Flees*

**18 August 2023**

_Freitag 11:30_

Matteo had originally cleared his schedule for Friday to extend his weekend, so he could get a longer break, but now he finds himself sitting in his car, outside the building of his office. He does not even drive to work normally on a sunny day like this, as it does not make sense to drive a relatively short distance and create a headache of parking his car.

David told him to pick him up here, but neither he nor Matteo had made mention of this since Tuesday, and Matteo does not really know what is going to happen today.

He hears someone tapping his window. Looking over, he sees David smiling at him. He reaches over to open the door, and in slips David.

“Na?”

“Let’s drive to the café down the street so we can grab something to eat, then we are good to go.”

Matteo starts driving as directed, “You still haven’t told me where we are going.”

“It’s a surprise, but we are driving out of town.” David says as he pops out of the car, having completed their short drive to the bakery. “My treat, by the way.”

Matteo is still none the wiser about what is going on today.

A few minutes later, David slides back into the seat next to Matteo. He puts the bag of food on the central console.

“Let me put in the coordinates for the place.”

“You just can’t tell me where we are going?”

“Nö, you will find out soon enough anyway.”

Matteo rolls his eyes and starts following the directions given by the GPS. They crept along the Berlin streets towards the south, until they found themselves at the outskirts of a Berlin, then on the autobahn. Matteo focuses on the road, while David is humming along then singing along to the songs playing in the radio, sometimes looking outside the window. Like this is what they do every day. They have past Schönfeld when Matteo breaks his silence.

"You are not going to make me drive to Munich or something, are you?"

David looks across and rolls his eyes. "Nö."

Matteo just frowns and side-eyes him.

"You will find out in an hour or two anyway." David adds but still offers no further explanation.

Matteo figures not to push, and leaves David to his one-man carpool Karaoke for the rest of the drive. David has a beautiful singing voice, Matteo notes, mind drifting back to the one time they were at a café near the Tiergarten, David telling him he would have to _kill_ Matteo if he knew if David could sing.

They peel off the autobahn at some point, turning onto some two-lane roads surrounded by fields instead. They eventually approach a place called Zossen, as directed by the GPS.

They drive through Zossen to reach a town called Wünsdorf, coming to a stop outside the town's train station.

"So, we drove an hour and a half to a train station." Matteo frowns at David, while taking out the second-last bun from the bag and offering the last one to David.

"Nö, I chose the station to prevent you from cheating and looking up where I'm bringing you." David reaches over to fiddle with the GPS again.

Matteo makes an offended voice while munching on the bun. "I am the one driving you somewhere."

"Did I say I'll let you go home when we get there? What are you, my Italian chauffeur?"

Matteo just rolls his eyes and start driving again. He does not tell David he will gladly be his chauffeur, or anything for that matter, if that is what he wants.

* * *

"What is this place?" Matteo asks when he pulls onto the kerb after arriving at the location as directed by the GPS.

Matteo seems interested, and David takes it as a good sign.

"Historic military base. Used by the German Empire, Nazis and Soviets. Abandoned for 30 years." David tells Matteo.

David has known of this place for more than 5 years. He knows quite a bit about the place through the internet and has always wanted to explore this place, but he could hardly just take a train for hours to get here just to trespass in it. Or maybe he could, but he never found the reason or excuse to.

David is now a director, looking for abandoned places to film. He used that to his advantage.

"A place for the film? Haven't heard about it."

"Yes. No." He sees Matteo raise his eyebrows at that, and he continues, "I have wanted to explore this place for a long time, and now I have an excuse to do that instead of trespassing."

There is an implied, and I want you to explore this with me.

He doesn't know if Matteo picked up on that. He just smiles at David.

"So we are going to walk in the front door and explore this?" Matteo turns off the car as he says that.

David just hums, unbuckles and gets out of the car, Matteo following suit a beat later.

"Let's go." David says, as he starts walking towards the front gate of the derelict place. He hears Matteo following him a few steps later.

He greets the guard at the post by the gate and tells him of his intentions here. "Yes, I am David Schreibner, we talked on the phone. I have also brought along my...adviser here."

The guard opens up the gate for David and Matteo without delay and tells David "we will just call the phone at around 6 or 7 if you haven't come back by then. It is not too safe to walk around the place unaccompanied at night."

David thanks the guard and walks in with Matteo in tow.

“I used to climb over gates and trespass places I want to explore.” David whispers to him as they walked along the main path towards the abandoned building.

“Not a law-abiding citizen, I see.”

“Hey, we are not trespassing now, are we?”

David leads them along a tree-lined path circling the building, looking for something. Matteo just looks around while walking alongside, seeing if there is something interesting.

“What is here, exactly?” Matteo asks when he just sees trees and unspectacular abandoned buildings around them.

“I am here.” David said somewhat cheekily. Matteo just rolls his eyes.

“You will find out. I know this is an interesting place.” He adds, eyes still searching for something along the side of the building.

* * *

Matteo sees David perking up when he sees something. He is not exactly sure what that something is, as long as Matteo is concerned, that section of the wall is as normal as any other sections of wall. He follows David though.

Then he sees David lifting a piece of wooden plank off the ground, revealing a hole. Hidden entrance of sorts. Matteo laughs softly.

“We can’t go inside through a door like normal people? I thought we are not trespassing.”

“Where’s the fun in doing that though? Come.” David says as he starts lowering himself into the hole, popping into a corridor inside the building, taking out a torch. Matteo follows suit.

When Matteo lands on his feet and starts surveying the surroundings again, the realization hits him, out of nowhere.

“You picked the locations for the film yourself?”

David seems surprised, but he quickly recovers. “Yeah. All of them are places I have explored over the years.”

 _David likes abandoned places_. This is another piece of information that Matteo files away to his brain about _who_ David is. Another thing that he wants to know the reason of. He has always wanted to solve this mystery.

They let silence fall between them, as they walked along corridors of the building. At one point, David crouched and picked up something round and red. A valve. Matteo does not know why that interests David, but he is not exactly an artist, so he just let it slide.

Being a dumbass that he is, he randomly trips David from behind as they were walking through a doorway, earning himself a _fuck you_ for his efforts.

As they reached the other side of the doorway though, David stops and contemplates a flight of stairs littered with debris. Matteo does not exactly know what is so special about it, when David suddenly turns around, facing him.

“Have you ever acted before?”

That catches Matteo off guard. Never had he ever considered himself an artistic person, and as a matter of fact, he hates attention, so performing in front of others had never crossed his mind, aside from the one _thing_ when he was a child.

“No. I just sang in the church choir when I was a kid.” Matteo says plainly. He still does not believe in religion, and for a long time he held resentment towards it because of his mother’s depression. Nowadays, as _mama_ got better, the resentment receded, but Matteo still thinks religion is patently not a thing for him. He feels it is easier to talk about it than ever before though.

David is not interested in the religion discussion though, as this takes another unexpected turn. “You should try it. Show me your potential.” He says with a head tilt.

It must be on his face, how much he is flabbergasted by this, as David adds cheekily, “This is the price you have to pay for trying to trip me over and murder me.”

Matteo just rolls his eyes and moves to turn away and continue walking down the corridor, when he feels _strong arms_ pulling him back. Matteo would deny to his grave that his knees turned to jelly when David wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him back to in front of him.

“I am the only audience here.”

“You want me to do it now? here?”

“Yes. You started it, now you pay the price. Give me your phone.”

Matteo just hands his phone over, but just to annoy David over, he mimics David’s voice, “You started it.”

David just shoves him and tells him to walk up the set of stairs.

“Walk with more anger, someone you want to punch is up there, stomp your feet, set your jaws!” David _directs_ Matteo as he complies with minimal effort and also twisting the instructions, screaming like an idiot who is supposedly angry as he reaches the top. It sends David into hysteria, so Matteo counts that as a win.

David hands back over the phone as Matteo descends into touching distance, “Now you have a demo for casting, _idiot_.”

Matteo fakes offence, as he replies, “I would have you know that was top notch acting.” Himself bursting into laughter before he could even finish the sentence.

The two of them just sat at the bottom of the stairs, doubling over in laughter.

“I like finding abandoned places and exploring them.” David says. They are still sat at the same position, having long since calmed down from their amusement and sat in a comfortable silence instead.

“Why is that? It seems so sad.” Matteo still hates being alone, and he cannot fathom going to places where not a soul is to be seen as a hobby. He is aware it seems a bit hypocritical given that he does have a place of his own to close everything out when he finds life overwhelming, but he would argue that is the exact distinction, being alone stops himself from being overwhelmed, but he could otherwise not understand why a person would wish to be alone.

“I don’t know. I find peace in these places, I can close out the world and ignore it. I feel these places _understand_ me.” David says, Matteo thinks he can sort of agree with how it closes out the world, but he does not know _why_ David thinks there is a need to do that. He does not know why. He does not think it is his place to ask either.

* * *

David thinks bringing Matteo here may let him into David’s world. How derelict, devoid of things he treasures, and how _abandoned and alone_ he is. Now with Matteo somehow, next to him in this landscape. He is still not sure if he could say _it_ out loud. It is all fun and warmth with Matteo next to him, and he can see how Matteo is openly staring at him when he thinks David is not watching. But. _What if David told him?_ Will the landscape turn back to how it always has been, removing Matteo from the picture? David is not sure if he could get through this, were it to happen.

They stood up and started walking at some point, continue their exploration through the corridors of this complex. David occasionally stopping and taking pictures of things he finds interesting.

“Artsy.” Matteo remarks, as David stops by a window frame once again to try and take a picture of it. He has lost count of how many pictures he has taken of window frames at this point, but he just wants to do it.

He just rolls his eyes and ignores Matteo, who is entertaining himself by poking his head out of windows and into doorways to look at things.

They reach another doorway. If David has been navigating around the building correctly, this is _the place_. The empty swimming pool, which he wants to show Matteo. He has been drowning for so long, and now that Matteo appeared in his life, he feels himself emerging from under water. It is such a soothing yet terrifying feeling at the same time.

He opens the door and walks in. He knows Matteo has peeled off for a second to the opposite direction, but he soon feels his presence next to him, as he lets out an amazed “wow”.

He lowers himself into the pool, walking along to the deep end, Matteo following suit. When they reached the other side, they lean their backs against the wall next to each other, staring up into the ceiling.

“I always wanted to come here, but never had the reason to.” He tells Matteo.

“Why?” Matteo asks. He sees that he is still mesmerized by the surroundings, a high ceiling, with natural light pouring in, and the blue tile walls of the pool. The pool lane dividers are also still in place.

He lets the single-word question hang in the air for a while, pushing himself off the wall and taking a few steps away, before circling back so that now he is facing Matteo, who is still staring at the ceiling. He meets his eyes when he feels David’s presence in front of him. David sees his eyes flit down to his lips for a second.

“I always felt like I was drowning. It got better, but I never really felt like I would reach the surface…” He starts, fully intending to tell Matteo about _that_. Then he sees Matteo’s soft expression looking back at him.

He fully intended to say _I know there is something between us here, but I need to let you know this_. He fully intended to say _You let me know so much about yourself, but I never did the same for you, and I need you to know this_. He fully intended to say _I might sink back into the deep end, but you have to know about this_.

He ended up saying none of those. Looking at Matteo’s face, he knows Matteo wants this. David knows he himself wants this too. He is not even sure if he can bear to not have Matteo ever again so soon after having him enter his life. The heart won out, despite the fierce protests of his brain. _The brain that he always trusts to make decisions._

“…Until now.”

He sees rather than hears Matteo’s breath hitch, and his line of sight permanently glued to his lips. David bit his lips, ignoring the screaming protests of his brain, as he closes the distance between them. Now they are breathing the same air.  
“And that is because of you.”

He keeps closing the distance, pausing minutely to look up at Matteo to make sure he is in on this. Matteo’s eyes are closed. Their noses bump together, and they tilted their heads slightly.

Then their lips touched.

For David, it feels like coming home. His heart leaps in joy, but his head screams _Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!_ David did not tell Matteo about the _thing_. He fiercely pushes back his head’s protests and focuses on the moment.

It is a series of soft kisses, without desperation, without the heated need or any other tensions or undertones to it. Their hands reaching up and touching the other’s face while they do so. It makes David feel safe. _Loved_ , even. He likes this feeling.

He is not sure who did it, but at one point their kiss deepened, but there is still no urgency or fight for dominance in it. Just gently making out. David’s hands find their way to Matteo’s waist, while Matteo wrapped his arms around David’s shoulder.

They ended up hugging, swaying and occasionally trading soft kisses for who knows how long in this dirty abandoned pool. In comfortable silence. In happy silence. It is like both Matteo and David got something they wanted for so long, finally. Like this is meant to happen all along. Like this is fated to happen.

David has to remind himself he does not believe in fate.

The sun is hanging low in the sky, as the sunlight pouring in from the ceiling starts to dim. He is playing with Matteo’s blond hair at the back of his head, and _god does David love doing that_. They know they have lost track of time, when David’s phone starts ringing.

David pulls away from the embrace he has wrapped Matteo in, who protests slightly at the loss of contact, snaking his arms around David’s waist as they disentangle, or rather, David trying to disentangle and Matteo doing everything in his power to stop that from happening.

“Hi.” David picks up the phone, voice rough from disuse.

“Hi, Mr. Schreibner, I am sorry to interrupt your field investigation, but it is nearly 7. I am afraid you may have to drive out here another time to continue if you need more time with the site.”

“It’s okay, we are nearly done with everything anyway. I have to thank you for letting us in and looking out for us. We will be out in a bit. Don’t worry.”

“You bet, don’t hesitate if you need anything else from us!”

“I will keep that in mind.” David says as he hangs up.

He turns his attention back to Matteo. “Hey. We have to drive home. They are kicking us out.”

“Are you sure you are not keeping me around just to drive you places?” Matteo mumbles, though with a teasing glint this time.

“Yes, because Italians are famed for following traffic rules and I feel safe driven by them.” David teases back.

Matteo shoves David lightly as they continued with their banter all the way out to the car. Everything still seems the same, maybe now with swollen lips, blushy cheeks and a happy heart.

* * *

Matteo drives them back to Berlin, stopping at a rest stop on the autobahn to get food so they do not starve to death trying to get home.

David plugs in a new set of coordinates as they entered the city limits of Berlin.

“Drive me home.”

“Okay.”

Matteo never knew where David lived, and now he is driving him home. When they get there, Matteo realises it is one of the more run-down old buildings from the Soviet era that has still not been renovated. He also looks at his watch, realizing he still has to grab something for dinner and get home to be prepared for a meeting tomorrow. Saturday is just another work day when your company is trying to push out a new game on time.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come up?” David asks.

“No. I will see you soon though.” Matteo is reluctant to say that, but he really cannot abandon his projects. He hopes that he can find a day where he can show up on set, or David showing up in his office again. Better yet, if they can meet up for dinner again like they have done for quite a number of times now.

David kisses his cheek one last time before getting out of the car. “See you.”

Matteo drives home, getting pizza takeout on the way. He may have made little progress on his preparation that night, being too caught up with everything that had gone on, but he could not bring himself to be mad at anyone about it.

He posts a swimming pool meme for #FlorenziFriday.

Life is good. Matteo is more content than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF.
> 
> As always, please comment! :)


	9. “What do you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **An honest appeal: If you're not having a good day, save this for later.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Oh no.

**19 August 2023**

_Samstag 09:23_

Uncharacteristically, David is still in bed, having just woken up from his slumber, with the hands on the clock moving far past 9 am. He reminisces what happened yesterday in the abandoned military base that he had wanted to explore for so long. It still feels a bit unreal, David thinks, getting what he wanted since he first laid eyes on the blond-haired boy all those months ago at Laura’s concert, and apparently having those feelings, whatever they are, reciprocated.

He has been flying high since their lips touched yesterday evening.

This whole situation is uncharted territory for David. He has been so convinced by and committed to his plan to stay alone for so long, he never really anticipated to have someone to, _what_ , fall for? Keeping to himself seems to be the best way to not get hurt, especially with all the baggage from the past with him being trans…

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

David is now wide awake.

He did not tell Matteo the _one thing_ about himself that David thinks matters the most. He kissed Matteo before he managed to tell him that. Why did he pick the worst time to start listening to his heart rather than making rational decisions with his brain? Is Matteo now going to be unpleasantly surprised, appalled… _disgusted_ by what happened? David told himself he must not fuck this up when he decided to give this a try. He _royally_ fucked up.

While David is having this major breakdown, his phone vibrates. David takes a glance at it, resisting the urge to picking it up and throwing it out of the window.

 _Matteo F._  
“Buongiorno Mr. Schreibner :) The pool was a nice place. 10/10 would recommend.” – 09:31

David thinks it is unfair to himself that Matteo is totally unaffected by this situation, but it is massively unfair to Matteo that David kissed him without revealing himself.

He had such a fear of losing Matteo had he revealed himself and ended up missing the window of telling Matteo altogether. Matteo would have understood if he did it properly, David thinks.

He jumps out of bed. Suddenly his home seems too confining to him. _Berlin_ seems too confining to him. Even _the world_ seems too confining to him. Wherever Matteo exists, it seems too much to him. David got what he wanted, and he is not sure if he could bear the thought of losing it all right after getting a piece of it.

He needs to _run_.

He is aware that he is now 22 and not a 16-year-old who could just run away from all of his responsibilities, but he just _cannot_ stay.

He would not tell anyone that he has a large gym bag stashed under his bed just for this purpose. He pulls it out and opens his dresser in quick succession, throwing all sorts of clothes into it, along with his wallet, phone, laptop and chargers, throwing every _survival essential_ into it to make a run for it. He is not sure where he is even going to go.

He grabs his car keys, and yes, despite nearly never driving, David possesses a driver’s license as well as a beat-up old Volkswagen, it certainly does not match up with what _Matteo_ drives… and seriously, he needs to stop thinking of Matteo.

Then again, he finds himself in this whole situation solely because of Matteo, how does he think that it would be feasible?

He rushes out of the room, making for the door, when he hears Laura.

“Where are you going with all those things?”

He curses the heavens. Why is Laura home now of all times?

In lieu of a greeting, an explanation, or really anything, he just blurts out, “I kissed Matteo.” All the while still going for the door.

He slams the door shut before Laura could say anything else.

* * *

Laura is stunned. In the past few weeks, she has seen David do things that she either has not seen him doing for very long, or ever. The large, toothy grin that exudes _happiness_. Him seemingly developing a crush or infatuation over someone. Being told that he actually kissed someone. And seeing David making a run for it right after telling her that.

She is not even sure what to think of it. It hurts her to see the contorted face of David, full of pain and _fear_. She cannot help but think someone hurt him.

Did Matteo hurt David because of _that_? David had been so reluctant to tell Matteo, and now Laura can see David truly fears losing Matteo. Had it happened?

She clenches her fist. She could punch someone. She cannot accept the idea of some dumbass, some bigot hurting her brother. Not after everything he has gone through.

* * *

_Samstag 17:25_

Matteo looks at the clock on the wall in the conference room and sighs. He has been in the office since around 11 in the morning on this scorching Saturday, going in and out of meetings with everyone and their mother, just so he can keep everyone on track for the latest game they are trying to push to the market by the end of fall. He might have also gone on a passionate critique about the loot-box model once again and talking about how it is effectively exploiting youngsters with this, in essence, thinly veiled gambling feature and how he would not accept it to be even considered for any of his games.

“I said it again and again, we don’t need the sense of pride and accomplishment bullshit here. If you so insist, the only person who would get these senses is you, and that is if you find pride from getting fired.”

So yeah, it turns out _sometimes_ Matteo does have _big opinions_ that he just cannot keep inside himself. He may have been shaking in his seat after delivering one of his longest speeches in his life, and a dress down of someone at that, but he is not going to let it show. _Letting yourself be heard is good_ , his therapist once told him. Maybe he will talk to her about this the next time he goes there.

When he checks his phone after getting back into his office from his last meeting for the day, he finds there is still no response from David. He sighs.

He was on cloud nine when it happened in that abandoned pool, when David kissed him. He thought all his prayers to whatever deities that are out there were answered when he felt those pair of lips he so desperately wanted to kiss against his own, over and over again. He was overjoyed when David chose to kiss him on the cheek as a parting gesture after he drove him home. He thought there is _something_ between the two of them, and it was not just Matteo’s wild imagination from his touch-starvation and pining for the charming, _impossible_ , David Schreibner.

He would love to kiss David over and over again if given the opportunity. He would love to find out what this is between himself and David and let it grow. He wants more, now that he got a taste of it.

He is not sure about anything anymore.

Not when David has left him on read for 8 hours at this point.

Matteo is not counting, he swears. (He is.)

He contemplates texting David again, but he is not even sure if he should. As far as he can tell, David is not replying to texts from Leonie and Sara in the group either.

Is he regretting it? Is he mad that Matteo did not go up to his flat? Is it just a kiss and nothing more? Did Matteo just had a serious fever dream and imagined all of that? He does not know.

He does not know what to do.

He has been suppressing this storm that is swirling in his head throughout the day, though it might have contributed to what went down in the marketing meeting.

He considers the pile of notes he has strewn across his desk.

 _Fuck this shit_ , he thinks to himself.

He sits down at his computer and clears his day planner for the upcoming week. He thinks it is not the best time to take another long leave given the timing of a new game being well on its way. Not that anyone can stop him, but he thinks it may not look too good. On the other hand, _he needs this_. He can hardly bear coming into the office and finding everyone irritating.

He reasons that, since he has moved into the game director role for this project and is less hands on, he could maybe step away and everything would be fine as long as he responds to emails from his team.

It is a weak excuse, but any excuse would do for Matteo for the time being.

He grabs his bag and makes for the entrance after he is done with amending his schedules and turning off the computer, locking his office and leaving the mess of paper on his desk untouched.

* * *

_Samstag 20:47_

Instead of cooking up something new and trying out recipes like he usually does on Saturday evenings, he grabs take-out on his way home. Hans gives him a look when he sees Matteo walking in with take-out containers, but he did not comment on the fact. He is thankful for that, as he has completely run out of patience with talking to anyone.

He could not even finish the take-out dish and ended up pouring the leftovers into a tupperware and throwing it into the fridge.

Stalking back into his room, he opened his drawer at his desk, fully intending to roll a joint, but is greeted with a vampire drawing. The one that somehow found its way into his bag on the day him and David sneaked off from Tiergarten from the film crew. He slams the drawer shut at the sight of that.

He decides he will allow himself to send one more text to David.

 _Matteo F._  
“Hey. I am sorry if I came on too strongly. I liked what we had and hope I am not ruining anything.” – 21:11

He sits down in his bed with his laptop, looking for vine compilations to look at, trying to distract himself. He lasted three minutes before he decided he’s had enough of that. He sets the laptop on the floor and tucks himself in, not even bothering to shower or change.

Or that he so planned, but Hans barrelled in 15 minutes later (he will never learn how to knock before entering a room), took a look at him and declared “Butterfly, you are getting out of bed and taking a shower.”

He groggily dragged himself into the shower. Hans is a blessing, sometimes.

Having finally cleaned himself, he returns to his room, with some messages on his phone waiting for him, but none from David.

 _Leonie @ We are actually filming_  
“David? Do you plan on replying anytime soon? We have filming on Tuesday.” – 21:32

 _Jonas @ ok.cool._  
“Hey boys, attacke, drinks at mine coming Friday?” – 21:44

 _Abdi @ ok.cool._  
“noooo! I will be out of town with Sam.” – 21:53

 _Jonas_  
“Wanna hang out tomorrow?” – 22:07

 _Carlos @ ok.cool._  
“Another time then, I guess.” – 22:09

He sighs and plugs in his phone, then flops onto his bed for a night of restless sleep.

* * *

**20 August 2023**

_Sonntag 09:51_

Matteo woke up barely past six in the morning, which, knowing Matteo, is highly uncharacteristic of him. His hatred for mornings is always palpable.

This morning though, he just silently moves around in the kitchen, making himself tea; heading back to his room; turning on his laptop to read news in the software industry – all done halfheartedly, as he always glances at his phone to see if there would be any signs of David.

He may have even tried to will it into existence, but still to no avail. He is not Mario or Luigi or Princess Peach who can be all conquering in the virtual world after all.

At some point, he gets fed up by the impasse and decided on a whim he would drive to David’s place and speak to him. He would apologize for whatever he has done wrong to have David ghost him for two days straight and try to get him back. He would even be content to be _just friends_ with David, if that is what he wants. That is very much a lie that would kill him inside, but if that is what has to be done, he would do it in a heartbeat.

He has sat in his car outside David’s building for more than 10 minutes at this point, trying to collect himself.

He takes one last deep breath, turns off the ignition and steps out of the car, heading for the building entrance. He slips in the gate when an old lady goes out, then he stands at the directory, looking for a name.

_3/F: Schreibner_

He slowly trudges up the stairs to the third floor, and is greeted with a nondescript wooden door. If he were being honest, the interior of the building looks much more modern than he would have expected given its exterior façade. He is not here to critique building aesthetics though.

He raises his hand to knock the door.

A few long moments later, the door swings open, and he is greeted with Laura.

Laura, who seems confused at first, then her face hardened when she seems to recognize who Matteo is. He shuffles under her cold stare.

“What do you want.” It is cold, curt and clipped. Matteo does not know what he has done to deserve this. As far as he could remember, last time when he saw Laura at the gig, she was friendly, warm and open, which is a total opposite to right now.

“Is David here?”

He barely got the question out when Laura moves to cut him off, “Look, I don’t know what you did to hurt him but kindly fuck off. He is not here.”

Matteo is incredibly confused. And scared. “What do you mean I hurt him?”

Laura seems to sense his confusion, though she seems to be not buying it totally. “He said you kissed.”

Matteo feels a blush forming on his cheek. “Yes, that’s what we did.” Then he feels a chill run down his spine. “Is that why I hurt him?”

Laura just stares at him. Then after a beat. “Nothing else happened? Absolutely nothing else?”

Matteo’s confusion, if anything, just grew. “No? I drove him back here?”

Realisation seems to dawn on Laura. Matteo has no idea what she gleaned from this exchange though, but Laura becomes much less hostile than when she opened the door. She sighs. “Look, he needs time. So give him time and space, okay?”

“Okay.”

She seems surprised that Matteo just agrees so easily. But what Laura doesn’t know is Matteo is willing to give up a lot for David, for the bright smile, brown eyes, and the person who intently listens to whatever Matteo has to say. The person who brightened his days with just a look.

“Are you okay?”

He does not reply, just forces a smile and turns to leave.

* * *

_Sonntag 17:20_

Hans is confused. Okay, he will concede that his life is mostly chaotic and confusing, but he is more confused than usual because of Matteo.

He does not know how the WG kept its same composition for the past 5 years, but he got to witness Matteo from his worst to where he is right now.

He remembers the Matteo who mostly camped in his own room, not participating in social life and smoking his days away. He remembers the Matteo who somehow got through his abitur and got into university, just to nearly get kicked out right off the bat because he just does not show up to class. He went days without leaving his bed or showering or eating properly. He remembers the Matteo who started to seek help because of all the loving and supporting friends around him. He remembers the Matteo who slowly stopped falling into the clutches of his inner demons and started to do better in life. He remembers the Matteo who became a whiz-kid and started a company of his own and built something successful for himself.

Which makes what he is witnessing now confusing. While he knows Matteo did not just magically get better and would still have bad days, he has not seen something this bad in a long time. Especially when he seemed so light recently.

Matteo had locked himself in his room since returning early in the morning from wherever he was at stupid o’clock. As far as Hans can tell, he hasn’t had anything to eat yet nor has there been any sounds coming from his room. There is no sign that Matteo plans to get something to eat for the night either. Hans knows this because he is currently camped out in the kitchen, working on an article about the latest economic cycle and the future trend that he wants to use as a keystone for the next conference he is going to.

Okay, so maybe he is a bit concerned about Matteo.

He saves the file on his laptop and goes to knock on his door and pokes his head inside.

“Butterfly, you want something to eat?”

Silence. Not even a grunt.

“Or maybe a shower? If you feel like staying in bed, might as well get clean for that.”

At least Matteo complied when he told him to shower yesterday. Now Matteo just refuses to move at all.

He sighs.

“I am making meat rolls tonight. I will leave some for you.”

He does as he said and put a few rolls in tupperware in Matteo’s shelf when Linn and him were done eating.

* * *

**21 August 2023**

_Montag 09:21_

Jonas wakes up to his face being shoved towards the nightstand. It is also way too bright in their room. He shuts his eyes again. Did he forget to draw the blinds again before heading to bed last night?

“Your stupid phone is vibrating non-stop” Hanna complains next to him.

He just grumbles and blindly reaches for the offending item, then squints at the screen to see what the hell is happening. Did the U.S. declare war on aliens or something?

_Missed call – Hans (09:18)_

_Hans_  
“JONAS” – 09:19  
“dID mATTEO tEXT yOU?” – 09:19  
“He’s gone” – 09:19  
“He didn’t leave his room yesterday and now he’s not here” – 09:20  
“I mean he ate my meat rolls but other than that there’s no sign of him” – 09:21

He is way too sleepy to process whatever Hans is freaking out about. He tries to read it again, eyes squinting but jolting awake when he sees _Matteo_ being mentioned.

He shows Hanna his phone, whose eyes widen after reading the texts, then he unlocks his phone and opens WhatsApp. There is nothing from Matteo. Matteo always tells him if he plans to pull a disappearing act on everyone, like Jonas is his agent or the designated survivor or something.

 _Jonas_  
“Nothing from Matteo.” – 09:24  
“Are you sure he hasn’t just gone for a walk or something?” – 09:24

 _Hans_  
“When does Matteo go for a walk for fun?” – 09:24

Jonas rolls his eyes. But it is not like Hans isn’t right about this.

 _Hans_  
“His car isn’t here” – 09:25  
“What the fuck Jonas, he didn’t say anything to you??” – 09:25

Jonas’ eyes widened. His best friend never fails to tell him about things like these, or most things for that matter. He sometimes feels like he is _taking care of_ Matteo, but it is not like he minds it, Matteo is like a brother to him. The current situation is setting off every alarm in his head though.

He opens the chat window with Matteo.

 _Jonas_  
“Hey Luigi, are you in town? Hans is freaking out.” – 09:27  
“You know you can always tell me anything yeah?” – 09:27

He contemplates sending a text into the group chat, but figures he should probably give some space to Matteo in case he needs it. He texts Carlos and Abdi individually instead.

 _Jonas_  
“Has Matteo texted you recently?” – 09:29

 _Abdi_  
“The last thing I got was a picture of me at the show.” – 09:31

Jonas remembers _the show_ , aka Abdi’s train wreck stand-up comedy appearance in a local pub. Jonas thought it was terrible but somehow people were entertained by how much of a dumbass Abdi was. To each their own, he concludes.

He texts Amira as well.

 _Jonas_  
“Have you heard anything from Matteo this weekend?” – 09:34

 _Amira_  
“No. What happened?” – 09:35

 _Carlos_  
“I texted him to ask if he is going to the filming this week but he hasn’t replied. Did something happen?” – 09:36

Jonas figures he should let them into the situation.

 _Jonas_  
“Hans said he disappeared, and Matteo didn’t warn me about it beforehand.” – 09:37

He received different variations of “ _Shit_ ” in response.

He is already out of bed at this point, pacing his room and about to get changed and head out to look for Matteo at his usual places, when he receives one more text.

 _Leonie @ Project D_  
“Attention cast and crew: Due to unforeseen circumstances, filming for this week (i.e. 23, 24 August) is going to be postponed. Please still reserve 29 & 30 August as planned, but it is yet to be confirmed. Apologies for the change.” – 09:46

Jonas just stops dead in his tracks and stares at his phone. While he is no genius, he knows there has been _something_ happening between Matteo and David, and now it seems something is very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. No. Why?
> 
> As always, please comment! :)
> 
> As a PSA: Today I have posted the final chapter for the Leonie/Sara prequel ([Would you open your eyes?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19370131)) of this AU as well. Check it out!


	10. "Na?" "Hey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter. Strap yourselves in!
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Author's PSA**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I have previously made the appeal for people who do not enjoy this work of fanfiction to just stop reading. Keep in mind fanfiction is written by fans for the fandom for free.
> 
> Despite my appeal, the person is still leaving rude remarks IN THE BOOKMARKS of this fic (and to be honest, in quite a number of others) in Simplified Chinese. Google translate is a groundbreaking invention, so don't think bashing others in a different language will mean others don't understand.
> 
>  _This is a callout._ **Stop acting so entitled towards ficwriters who share their work to the fandom.**
> 
> I have considered withholding all further updates for this fic in response to the disrespect, and I am only releasing this update because I owe a duty to my readers to not leave them hanging after the heartbreak of last chapter.
> 
> I will still consider stopping future updates, despite my enormous backlog, if this persists.
> 
> As I have said before, constructive criticism is okay. Bashing is never okay. Never.
> 
> * * *
> 
> To all my lovely readers, happy to see that you are still sticking around, hope you like this! :)

**21 August 2023**

_Montag 04:13_

 

Matteo is on the road, once again.

He has not slept a wink throughout the night, just staying motionless in bed as he has been for most of the day. Deep into the night, as if on autopilot that works on a to-do list, he got out of bed and headed to the kitchen in search of the meat rolls. He finished them in reasonable time, then grabbed his keys and his small weekend bag and headed out.

He is in no condition to drive, really, but no one is there to judge, let alone stop him. He drives along the outer ring of the city, then on to the autobahn heading Southwest.

It is a well-travelled and familiar path to him at this point, driving down the A9 through Brandenburg, Saxon-Anhalt and Saxony, switching to A4 near Jena in Thuringia, then crossing over to A5 near the village of Kircheim soon after entering Hesse. The autobahn then naturally turns southwards past Frankfurt-am-Main, and then to the likes of Darmstadt and Mannheim to finally arrive in Heidelberg, to Matteo’s apartment near the Altstadt.

Matteo should really not be doing this trip of more than 600 km that takes nearly 6 hours right now. He usually does this southward trip feeling drained, but being sleep deprived and in the middle of the night? This level of madness is too much even for Matteo.

With his last shred of sense of responsibility he has at this moment, he decides to drive in the rightmost line to the speed limit, leaving for people to overtake him on the left at insane speeds. There are not even street lights on the autobahn.

He has made regular stops along the way to rest his eyes and get his refill of coffee. By the time he is passing the outskirts of Frankfurt, the sun is already hanging in the sky and traffic is starting to build, the clock reads 09:01. He has left the WG for more than 6 hours, and he has still at least an hour of driving to do.

 

 _Hans_ _💃_

“Butterfly where are you?” – 09:01

 

Matteo glances at his phone, then switches on the _Do not disturb_ mode of his phone. He is mentally unavailable for conversations right this moment, plus he has to drive. 

He makes it there in one piece, parking his car in the underground garage then makes his way up to his apartment. He kicks his shoes off and throws his keys and bag aside as soon as he makes his way through the door. He then makes a beeline for his bedroom and crashes into the bed, not even bothering to take off his clothes, the exhaustion finally taking over him, sending him into a slumber.

 

* * *

 

_Montag 22:07_

 

Matteo slept, or what could be better described as _passed out_ , for nearly 12 hours. He rolls out of the bed, stumbling from his lack of energy and lack of coordination of limbs that stemmed from disuse. 

He enters the kitchen, still stumbling, and reaches for the fridge. He opens the fridge, knowing full well there will be nothing in there, given that Matteo does not live here regularly. If there is food in there, then it is either (a) moldy and inedible biohazard, or (b) someone moved into his flat without him knowing and he would have to get a knife from the drawer to fight whoever is in his flat.

He is hungry though, given he slept through lunch and dinner, the last meal he had being a small sandwich he bought at a rest stop north of Frankfurt to go with his coffee. Both tasted shit and repulsive to his Italian stomach. 

He reaches the door, where he discarded his belongings and rummages in his bag in the dark for his wallet.

He pulls out his prescription bottle instead, and he starts examining it like it is the most interesting item in the whole universe. _Past Matteo_ had the foresight to decide to keep a bottle in the bag so he would have his meds with him wherever he goes as long as he has the bag with him. 

In a sudden flash of self-care, he walks back into the kitchen with the bottle and takes his meds, having not taken it yet today. He does not _like_ taking his prescription, but he figures it might be working all along, so he makes a point of following the prescription. Because as much as Matteo not being a fan of the meds, he is much more significantly not a fan of feeling like shit.

He realises he forgot about his meds over the weekend.

He contemplates returning to bed, but his growling stomach reminds him of why he is here in the first place.

The memories of himself smoking away his existence in the run-up to his abitur are still too fresh, and Matteo does not want to be that version of himself ever again, if he could get to decide. Despite his urge to return to his room and hide, eating things that barely pass as food or not at all, he goes back to the door, grabs his wallet from the bag, pulls on his shoes and heads out.

It is certainly a perk, living in the vicinity of a REWE City that is open until midnight when most supermarkets close at 9. It fits Matteo’s needs perfectly.

He returns with ingredients for sandwiches and also some pasta and tomatoes, in case he wants to make pasta later on. The worst thing he can do in case he does not end up cooking is that he drives back with a pack of tomatoes in his passenger seat, which is not that bad. 

He makes himself the sandwich with cheese, bacon, avocado and lettuce and puts it in the toastie maker. 

 _It is a panini_. He hears the voice invading his mind. He shakes it off. 

The sandwich is good, considering how Matteo just blindly grabbed ingredients that sort of resemble things that should go into a sandwich and called it good.

He considered going into the shower, but he has expended all his energy, so he just goes back to his room, strips down and flops onto his bed.

 

* * *

 

**22 August 2023**

_Dienstag 13:41_

 

Matteo wakes up way past midday the next morning. He considers it a win, given that the urge to stay in bed has receded slightly and he actually makes it out of bed on his first try without the incentive to get food or anything. 

He checks his phone, properly for the first time since he left the flat share in the dead of the night.

 

_Leonie_

“Do you know where David is?” – Sonntag, 16:33

_Carlos_

“Bro, you going to the filming this week?” – Sonntag, 23:07

 

 _Hans_ _💃_

“Butterfly where are you?” – Montag, 09:01

“I can see your car is not at the usual spot” – Montag, 09:02

“Please be okay, tell me anything if you need me!” – Montag, 09:28

_Jonas_

“Hey Luigi, are you in town? Hans is freaking out.” – Montag, 09:27

“You know you can always tell me anything yeah?” – Montag, 09:27

 

_Amira_

“Matteo, I know you may need space but please reach out if you need me.” – Montag, 09:38

 

_Mom_

“Will I see you this week for dinner? I missed you, my sunshine.” – Montag, 16:21

 

_Sara_

“Please tell me you didn’t hurt David.” – Montag, 19:21

 

Nothing from David. Matteo can see David has left him on read once more.

Matteo sighs and throws his phone across his bed. He cannot bring himself to reply to any of the texts. He does not have the energy to do that. Everyone will understand, he reasons, and leaving a read receipt to everyone is a good enough indication to them that Matteo is still alive.

Flipping this argument backwards, though, leaves Matteo’s stomach clenching.

Why does David leave Matteo on read? Is it a way for David to say that he has received the messages from Matteo, but he decidedly does not want anything to do with Matteo anymore? That somehow Matteo overstepped some boundaries and now he has lost David…from whatever that was between them?

Maybe Matteo just does not deserve to have good things in his life. Every time he lets himself acknowledge the fact that something is good, it comes crashing down. 

Fuck. When is Peach going to fail? What will Matteo be left with after that?

Matteo knows that he is being irrational about the last thought, but at the same time he cannot help it.

As if by muscle memory, he drags himself across his room and opens the small drawer beneath his desk and reaches for the bag. 

He rolls himself a joint with slightly shaky hands, lights it, and settles on the recliner by his bed.

He takes a long drag, then releases the smoke facing the ceiling.

Weed is a lot of things to Matteo.

At first, it was a thing that he did because that was what Jonas did. Then, it was merely a means for him to chase a high that Matteo enjoyed.

It then became an escape for him, when he realised that getting high seemed to dull the constant screaming that takes place in his home, then the fact that his mother could not take care of herself when his father left for Italy.

Everything in his life came crashing down, as if in slow motion, after that, and weed became a constant in the stormy seas for Matteo. Sometimes when he did not have the energy to even satisfy his basic necessities like eating and showering, he would still roll himself a joint and smoke away in bed. As if he was a living dead.

He somehow passed abitur despite being high out of his mind for most of his last year in high school, although not without a resit for an exam that he actually cheated and still somehow failed on the first attempt. Jonas and Amira pretty much dragged him through all of that, first volunteering their time to studying before abi, then helping him prepare for the resit.

Matteo, admittedly, checked out for most of that, but without the efforts of his two best friends, he does not think he would be here today.

Even after he got into university as a generic science student without a major, partly because he had biology in his abitur and it was his best subject, all thanks to Amira, he was still in a downward spiral, and he only consumed more and more weed, to the point he had not even bothered with showing up in class.

“It makes it more bearable.” What he told Hanna rings in his head. It was the depression that Matteo was so desperate to pretend it does not exist.

He was _this_ close from actually getting kicked out, saving for the fact all his friends came in, brought him to therapy, took care of him, and even sorted through the administrative procedures at the university with him so that he could be seen as having medical excuses for his absence. He took extra credit later on to make up for the lost time.

Weed fell to the background after he started therapy, and after he got actual prescription. He did not magically get better, of course, but the urge to smoke away the sadness, the emptiness and the darkness in his brain and heart receded. He just smoked a bit when he had a particularly bad day like now, though he has been trying hard to stop doing that; and also socially when he actually wants to get high, mostly with the boy squad.

Weed even gave him _Peach_. This whole software development venture came as a product of him being high out of his mind while hanging out with some of his classmates in university. He somehow passed off as coherent and lucid enough in that conversation that the others took his word for the whole thing, and the company was born a few weeks later on.

Matteo thought about backing out of it before it became reality. He is glad he did not.

It is ironically poetic, really, that weed gave him one of the most successful things in his life (that he would not dare to admit), while at the same time the fear of losing it (along with all the mess in his head) pushed him to smoke weed again to _dull_ his sensations.

He sighs. He does not like this, if he could help it. He somehow finds a memo pad, writing down _take meds_ on it, so he could remember to do so. It may not be a silver bullet, but he would probably feel better if he remembers to take them.

As an afterthought, he adds a _(1)_ to the first item, then also _(2) stop_ smoking and _(3) get outside_ to this spontaneous to-do list, so maybe _future Matteo_ will heed the advice he is giving right now.

It is what he did in the past, at the urging of his therapist, to make himself a to-do list. It worked in the past, maybe it will work again.

 

* * *

 

**23 August 2023**

_Mittwoch 17:21_

 

Matteo ended up putting out his weed before he went into the shower last night, for the first time in a few days. He then took his meds before he went to bed.

He also took his meds on time today.

All that remains to be done is to go outside, which is also incidentally, the most difficult item to accomplish out of his three-item list.

He is still feeling down, truth be told, but better than he has felt for the past few days.

He resolutely ignores the fact David has still not reached out to him.

His phone vibrates.

The hopeful part of his head chants _it could be David_ , while the other part chants _it would not be David, why would it be?_

He checks it nonetheless.

It is Jonas.

 

_Jonas_

“I know you are reading the texts, Matteo. The offer still stands as it has always been, I am ready to listen if you want me to.” – 17:22

 

Matteo feels a bit guilty about this, really. He has left all of his friends on read, even Jonas, who treats Matteo like a brother and has stuck by him through thick and thin in his life, even when Matteo was at his lowest. He knows he should probably reach out. He knows Jonas would understand if he does not, but he wants to do this.

 

_Matteo_

“Hey Jonas, sorry for the radio silence. I am dealing with some stuff. Can you please tell everyone I will be okay?” – 17:25

 

Jonas ignores the fact that Matteo skirted past _talking about it_. Matteo knows Jonas _understands_. He loves his best friend, really.

 

_Jonas_

“Will do. We all love and miss you.” – 17:27

 

He focuses back on his laptop. For once, he has work stuff of Peach open on his screen while staying here in Heidelberg, and he is catching up on the reports and emails he missed over the past two days, trying to ease himself into working a bit on his company at a time when he should really be physically at work to oversee the new game that is due to be released in fall. He hopes doing the work remotely can soften the blow of him being absent in the first place.

This is also partly borne out of the fact that he believes actually working on _Peach_ is the best antidote to his fear of _losing Peach_. He simply would not _allow_ it to fail.

He fires off a few more emails to the artistic director and lead programmer to feedback on the latest iteration and corroborating with the beta reports, then he is actually done with the backlog of emails.

As far as Matteo can tell, the game is still on track to be released on time as targeted, assuming that no major setbacks happen from now on, and he is quietly relieved that he has not derailed his own company. 

He leans back on the recliner and stretches.

His stomach growls.

He tries to stay still where he is, but eventually, the urge to eat has become to big that he had no choice but to trudge to the kitchen. 

What he finds just confirms what he knows. 

He has run out of sandwich ingredients, leaving him with only some pasta and tomatoes. 

Matteo has survived on the same sandwich since Monday night, too lazy to bother with making pasta or getting new ingredients from the supermarket to have some variations in his sandwiches.

He still does not feel like cooking, nor does he feel like eating sandwiches again for at least a while.

He finds himself staring at the memo pad that somehow made its way to the kitchen.

 

_(3) get outside._

 

On a whim, he finds himself pulling on some clothes he finds in the dresser (he has separate closets in Berlin and Heidelberg, which is why he never needed to actually pack clothes when he drives down), pulls on his shoes, grabs his keys and head out.

Despite his Italian roots, Matteo is feeling German today, at least when it comes to food. He knows the perfect place for it, given that his brain all but declared that he is not to make food today, and at the same time that he wants to eat. 

He pushes the door to _Vetter’s_ open, thankful that somehow, in holiday season, the shop is not overrun by tourists yet, he has beaten the dinner crowd to the restaurant.

He asks for the table in the corner, avoiding the patrons interacting in English around a table near the entrance. He is not sure if these people even know one another before they sat down in this restaurant. It is one of the thing Matteo tries hard to avoid, that some tourists try to chat with everyone that crosses their path. He would not be comfortable doing that when he is perfectly happy, let alone when he is still mildly sad.

He orders a _Halbe Haxe_ and red wine to go with it. He ignores the fact that it is Bavarian rather than German.

As he sits and waits for his order to be served, he remembers the conversation that took place at that hipster restaurant in Berlin, when he accidentally came out as gay to David while talking about wine.

He smiles wryly at the memory, then tries to push it down. He still is none the wiser about how everything came crashing down between the two of them. 

He thanks the waiter when the food is served. It is still as heavenly as he remembered from the last time he was here.

He tries not to think about it, but his mind drifted off to David more than once after this. It is even the last thing he could remember before he fell asleep at night.

 

* * *

 

**24 August 2023**

_Donnerstag 14:14_

 

_Matteo_

“I think I don’t want to go on set for the film anymore.” – 14:14

 

 _Jonas_  
“You know what is best for yourself if you have thought it through.” – 14:16

“I don’t know what happened so I cannot really comment on it. I respect your decision though.” – 14:17

 

* * *

 

**25 August 2023**

_Freitag 18:12_

 

Matteo has managed to keep working on projects of Peach remotely, even managing to participate in a meeting by phone that he thinks is unnecessary and wasting everyone’s time. He does not say it out loud though, as always, if people think they can work better with these meetings, then that is their prerogative, and Matteo is not one to take that away from them.

He would be lying though, if Peach was the only thing that was on his mind.

David.

He was on his mind all throughout Wednesday night and Thursday morning when he woke up uncharacteristically early. He told Jonas of his decision to stay away from the film set, if this is what David is trying to get him to do – stay away.

Matteo respects boundaries, and if David is trying to tell him to do that by _still_ leaving him on read and not bothering to reach out, he will honor his wish, despite it breaking him inside.

He thought maybe he would be able to push this out of his mind when he apologized for whatever he did wrong and allow himself to have some closure or move on from all of this and focus on other things in life.

He thought wrong.

His mind is _invaded_ with thoughts about David. The longing for him, the what-ifs that Matteo is trying to pin-point what exactly went wrong. Remembering the tight hugs he got that it seemed he would never get again. The soft presses of lips at the pool that grounded Matteo, that made him felt like finding home.

The things that he cannot get. _David_.

He needs to get out of his flat.

Even in this space that he had always found to be a bubble that protects him from the outside, his mind is constantly thinking about this whole scenario and its implications.

He heads out and starts mindlessly wandering on the cobblestone streets of Heidelberg. It is still summer holidays for students, so the streets are devoid of students of the university, but in their place came tourists. He wanders into the _Altstadt_ , wandering across plazas, and circling the impressive _Heiliggeistkirche._ He then walks along the streets filled with businesses targeting tourists. The likes of _Lindt_ , _Newyorker_ and various shops. Then attractions like the _Studentenkarzer_.

He eventually found himself far away from the old town and his flat, so he crosses a few streets and heads for the bank of Neckar. He can do with some riverside breeze and the zen of the sounds of the river flowing.

He walks along the breakwater of the river, hands dancing along the concrete wall as he circles back in the direction of the _Altstadt_. He vaguely recognizes the fact that he is virtually walking in a big circle, but he does not really care. He just wants to clear his head.

Eventually, with his slow strolling, he finds himself back near the _Brückentor_ , with the _Scholoss_ in the background. He stops and turns to look at the river, watching the currents flow rapidly towards the west. 

His mind still spirals to David, despite his best efforts.

Without realizing, he turns back towards the bridge and starts walking again, crossing the street and towards the _Alte Brücke_.

Their various hangouts float back to the fore of Matteo’s mind.

David, who seems so distant to strangers yet warm to the select-few; who seemed light-hearted at times with Matteo yet laced with underlying tension; who talked about a lot of things with Matteo, sometimes seemingly careless yet full of meaning.

David, who is artistic, talented and already has a small cult-like following for his filmography from film school, but seemingly takes it in stride and thrives on the pressure to deliver a film at the same age as Matteo. 

 _It is self-expression, at the end of the day._ David once told Matteo.

David, who does not believe in fate and wishes to control his own destiny; who told him he would run and hide if there is a natural catastrophe; who loves to be alone.

David, who told Matteo he always felt like he was drowning, never reaching the surface, until he met Matteo.

He stops dead in his tracks. He finds himself near the mid-point of the bridge.

He is not sure if he is hallucinating or if he is high or something. Matteo was sure he has not smoked since Tuesday. He is not sure about that anymore now.

A good dozen of meters in front of him, staring back at him, are the brown eyes Matteo is so familiar with.

Pretentious hipster glasses are nowhere to be seen. Just a black hoodie with its hood up, dark-grey pants and white trainers. The hair hidden beneath the hood in an absolutely wild state, like its owner has not bothered to take care of it for long.

David.

David, who dresses so impeccably at all times, is now mirroring Matteo’s state of dishevelment. Matteo vaguely remembers himself pulling on the baggiest of t-shirt and shorts he possessed in the morning after waking up. He did not plan to be outside today at all, not that he would have cared to dress better if he did plan to anyway.

By the time Matteo snaps out of his out-of-body-like assessment of the situation and established that it is indeed David standing in front of him, David is still rooted to the spot.

Matteo walks a few steps to close the distance to David. Mindful of the boundaries he thinks David wants to have between them, he stops a few paces in front of David, allowing him enough space to go, if he so desired.

“Na?” He greets David quietly, voice breaking a bit from disuse. It is the first word he has said since ending the conference call.

“Hey.” An equally quiet greeting. 

After a few beats of silence, with them still staring at each other, Matteo breaks the spell again.

“Do you want me to…” he gestures to the side vaguely.

_Do you want me to go and leave you alone?_

David snaps out of the staring and looks conflicted, seemingly considering the unasked question. Matteo’s heart sinks.

“No.” It is barely audible above the ambient sound of the river and tourists on the bridge.

Matteo lets out a breath.

“Want to go somewhere?” Matteo asks tentatively.

David looks at his face for a second. Then, “Yeah. Sure.”

They end up walking back the direction where Matteo came from, off the bridge, then towards the _Schloss_.

David is walking a few paces behind Matteo, and Matteo keeps looking over his shoulder from time to time to check if David is still there. He is still unsure if he is imagining this scenario at all.

David showing up in front of him, halfway across the country.

They made their way past the Marktplatz, then the Kornmarkt, and eventually at the foot of the hill that the _Schloss Heidelberg_ sits atop of.

Normally, if Matteo wants to go to the castle, he would take the Bergbahn. But right now, he is not sure if David, who likes to be alone, would welcome the idea of squeezing into a cabin of the funicular railway with tens of strangers.

Instead, he leads them to the long flight of stairs behind the Bergbahn station. David is still following him silently.

The silence is uncomfortable. Every time Matteo looks back, he sees David look up and stare back at him, like he wants to say something.

It is a strenuous climb, especially in the summer heat. Matteo curses the sun.

They eventually make it to the top of the stairs. 

They walk past the visitors’ center, the _Elisabethentor_ , the main gate of the castle and the half-collapsed tower, and into the castle gardens.

Matteo leads David even through the castle gardens, and onto the _Scheffelterrasse_. The viewing platform on the edge of a cliff, where you can see the _Schloss_ on the side, and overlook the whole of the _Heidelberg Altstadt_ and beyond, plus a long stretch of the _Neckar_.

It is quiet here. Most tourists not bothering to take the long walk to the end of the cliff. Only a few locals strolling by on their walk at the castle park in the late-evening. Matteo likes coming here every time he comes to Heidelberg. It is a good, quiet place for him to clear his mind and reset himself mentally.

They sit down on the furthermost bench at the corner of the _Scheffelterrasse_. Side by side, with a gap between them, and not looking at each other. Matteo is listening to their breathing.

Eventually, it is David who breaks the silence.

A strained “why are you here?” 

Matteo’s heart breaks a little. _Maybe David does not want him to be here after all._  

He tries not to take it personally, just turns to David and answers the question.

“This is where I go, when I need to.”

_When I need to hide from the world._

He sees David turning towards him as well, and recognition in his eyes.

He can see the cogs in David’s brain turning.

“I am sorry.” They both said at the same time. 

David looks like he wants to say more, but Matteo is not going to let him continue before he gets it out of his system.

“I know I may have crossed some boundaries and hurt you. I meant what I said, and I hope you can forgive me for whatever I did wrong. I like to be around you, please don’t cut me out of your life.”

He pants a little at the end of that. He is vulnerable. He does not want to be _abandoned_.

David looks taken aback by what he has just heard.

“…Matteo, it’s not your fault.”

This does nothing to soothe Matteo’s nerves. David seems to be able to read that and continues. 

“Really. I am sorry. It’s not you, it’s me…” He trails off.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you at the pool…”

Matteo’s eyes widen. His heart sinks. Maybe David regrets everything.

“…when you don’t really _know_ me. It is unfair to you.” David finishes.

Confusion takes over Matteo. As far as Matteo can tell, everything that David lets him to know of, Matteo liked it. He _fell for_ David very quickly, though he never acknowledged this fact. He just continues staring at David. 

“Do you realise I nearly never talk about _myself_? As a person?” David prompts slowly, seemingly realising that Matteo has stayed silent since he started talking.

“Yeah.” Matteo breathes out. He is confused, but also still vulnerable about the situation. He does not know what is happening right now.

David breaks the eye contact and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He unlocks it and taps on the screen, seemingly looking for something.

He looks at his phone like he is reading something but not really reading it with how quickly his eyes skim through the screen and fingers scrolling on it, then he sighs and locks the phone.

He looks at Matteo.

“You don’t know me.” David reiterates. “I wasn’t lying when I said I no longer feel like I’m drowning after I met you, but you don’t know me. I…” He pauses.

“I had this note I have written on my phone that I thought about sending you or reading it out to you, but…” 

David falls silent. 

“But?” Matteo prompts after a few moments, when David does not continue.

“It does not sit right for me.”

David stands up and walks towards the concrete railing and leans against it. He looks back at Matteo.

Matteo follows suit, and stands next to David, mindful to keep some space between them to keep David comfortable of the situation. He still does not know where this is going.

“Okay?” He says as an acknowledgement.

David takes a deep breath.

“You know…most of the time, guys are just guys and girls are just girls…”

David looks…scared?

“But sometimes it is not that simple.”

Matteo wishes his brain is not slowed down by his _sadness_ right now. He is not prepared for seeing David at all, and he does not know where David is going with this either. Something deep in his mind tells him he should know what this means, but he cannot retrieve that information right now even if his life depended on it.

“I am transgender." 

The world stops spinning.

Matteo knows what this is. He lives under the same roof as a rights activist after all, and he vicariously learns about things in the community he is part of from time to time. Most of the times though, it barely scratches the surface. Matteo feels out of his depth, he now wishes he listen to what Hans said more. He thinks he does not have enough knowledge of this. On top of it all, he is afraid he will say the wrong thing. 

The wrong thing that would drive away _David_.

David who makes Matteo feel seen amidst the madness of life; who seems to make Matteo stop feeling lost in life; who seems to understand Matteo without words; who brings light and happiness to his life; who makes Matteo feel like he finds home.

 

* * *

 

David have told himself over and over that he is prepared for this. He thinks he would lose Matteo over this. Maybe getting shouted at, or maybe have him simply walking away or maybe something worse…though he never considered Matteo, soft and gentle Matteo, being capable of doing those.

What he has not prepared for, though, is Matteo simply standing there next to him, looking at his face, motionless.

The silence is deafening.

It feels like an eternity has past, and they are still in a limbo.

His heart says this means maybe there is hope that everything does not come crashing down. His head says look at how it turned out the last time David listened to his heart.

David panics. He thinks he is not prepared for this.

David _is_ not prepared for this. He never anticipated that Matteo would be standing in front of him, halfway across the country.

David makes to run. He needs to get out of here.

He does not even make it two steps away, when he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. 

“David.” Soft, low, _panicked_ voice. David would have missed it if he were not hyperaware of everything that is happening around him.

Matteo’s grip is weak, like he is offering David the out if he decides to go after all.

David let’s Matteo keep holding his wrist. He turns to face Matteo once again. 

His heart flutters at this turn of events, but he is quick to suppress it.

 _The more you hope, the bigger the disappointment_.

“I…” a deep breath, “I don’t know what the right thing is to say.”

“And that is perfectly fine.” David says, a hint of trembling in his voice.

“No,” Matteo lets go of David and pushes his hand through his hair, messing it up further, “I am uneducated about this…I like this,” Matteo gestures between them, “…I like you. But…I just don’t know.”

This is not how David imagined how it would go. He thought that was it. He thought he would just have to move on with his life and deal with the fallout later. Right now, everything is still up in the air, and it is unchartered territory.

David looks out at the view of the city, trying to remember where he parked his car.

“I…Please don’t abandon me.” Matteo says quietly. It is like he knows David is considering going after all. 

This is _David’s_ sentiment towards Matteo. Not wanting to let the other go.

“Okay…” he starts, “we can figure this out together.”

“Yeah?” Matteo, searching his face.

“Yeah.”

Matteo looks like he is considering something. 

“Where are you staying? If you don’t mind me asking.”

David considers lying about it, but he thinks better of it. 

“In my car.”

“In your car?” Matteo is incredulous.

David knows there is plenty for Matteo to be incredulous about. Firstly, he never told Matteo he has a license; Secondly, he never told Matteo he has a car, albeit a beaten up one; Thirdly, sleeping in a car seems ridiculous considering there are plenty hotels and hostels in cities. 

Neither does David know why he is staying in his car. 

“Uh, yes.” He scratches his neck. 

“Do you want to come to my place?”

David’s eyes widen. “Your place?”

“No, don’t get me wrong, I have a spare room.” Matteo rushes out.

“No, yes. No. I mean, you have a place here?” 

Matteo seems relieved at this line of questioning. “I come here way too often. I have a flat near the _Altstadt_.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?”

“I am coming with you.”

They walk back in silence, less uncomfortable than the one they had when they walked up, but still with some tension in it. 

Somehow, now _the fact_ is out in the open, and Matteo is still beside him, offering to take him in for the night. 

Also, there is the fact that Matteo told him that he _liked_ David and what has been happening between them _after_ David told him he was trans.

 

* * *

 

_Freitag 21:01_

 

David finds himself in a flat in one of the taller buildings around the Altstadt. He takes in the environment as soon as he makes it past the door, with Matteo holding it to let him in. He nearly trips over the bag lying by the doorway. 

The flat is a bit barren, with a large couch and a TV in the living room, a square dining table to the side and a desk by the window, with a laptop sitting on it. There is also a doorway leading to the balcony by the desk.

He can see the doorway into the kitchen by his side, and also three doorways connected to the living room. David assumes one of those is a bathroom and the others are bedrooms.

“Make yourself at home.” Matteo says as he slips past David into the kitchen.

David makes his way to the couch and sits down on it. He sees something familiar. 

The drawing of a vampire, by David’s hand, being framed and put on display on the barren bookshelf next to the desk. He stares at it. His heart flutters at the sight.

“Are you hungry?” Matteo appears by his side, holding two glasses of water, offering one to David, putting it on the end table of the couch next to David.

“Yeah.”

“I am going to cook something.” 

“Do you need help?” David asks, even though he knows he is generally incompetent when it comes to cooking.

“No, just…stay here.” 

Matteo’s eyes linger at David as he walks back towards the kitchen, as if David would disappear.

 _I will_. He does not tell Matteo.

 

* * *

 

_Freitag 21:47_

 

They ate in silence. David would be lying if he said this is not by far the pasta he has had in his life. On the surface, it is nothing special, just pasta with tomato sauce, but it is some of the herbs or rather other ingredients that David cannot see in the sauce that Matteo has added in that made it so rich in flavor and delicious.

But something else, or rather, a lot of things weighed on his mind.

They just kept glancing at each other over food, seemingly want to say something but waiting for the other to start. 

They eventually finished the food. David moving to collect and wash the dishes, but Matteo just shook his head and took them from David and placed them in the sink.

He gestures towards the balcony.

David follows Matteo out.

They lean against the railing once again, like they did at the _Scheffelterrasse_ a few hours ago, looking out at the cityscape of the _Altstadt_ in dim lighting, the Neckar in the distance. Glancing at each other occasionally.

Matteo lights a cigarette.

Matteo has once mentioned weed to him, David forgot when, but over one of their numerous _dates_ , as David would like to call those. It should not come as a surprise that Matteo smokes, given the fact, but this is the first time he sees it in person. 

It is either David does not realise his reaction found its way to his face, or Matteo just reads his mind.

“I don’t smoke that often these days. Weed or cigarettes for that matter.”

He puffs out a cloud of smoke over the balcony.

“Just, sometimes, it is calming.”

David hums in acknowledgement.

“Do you want a drag?” Matteo offers.

“I can’t really.”

Matteo considers him, like he is thinking about something. “Is it because…”

“Yeah.”

“I think…What I want to say is, this does not change how I see you or how I think about you…I am sorry I didn’t react after you told me, I was…I was afraid I would say the wrong thing and hurt you.” He takes another drag when he finishes.

It warms David’s heart a little, Matteo cares about how David feels. “I told you it’s okay.”

“I know too little about this.”

“I told you we can figure this out together. You can always ask me questions if there is something you don’t understand…”

“But I might ask the wrong question.” Matteo protests.

David finds himself much calmer than he has been in the past week, standing here in front of Matteo. He has run and run and run, driving from city to city, trying to get Matteo out of his mind to no avail, trying to stop himself from thinking how everything would go wrong if Matteo found out.

He somehow found himself in front of Matteo hundreds of kilometers away from where Matteo _should_ be, like _fate_ decides that they will meet each other.

David does not believe in fate. What he believes though, right now, is how both Matteo and himself silently agreed that they would still have each other in their respective lives after all of this.

“I would tell you if I feel uncomfortable with the question,” he sees Matteo’s face telling him how he disagrees with this arrangement, “I know you mean well. But if we are in this, there are things that you would learn or know some point along the way.” 

Matteo considers him. 

“Okay. But promise me if there is something that you are uncomfortable with, you have to tell me.”

“Okay.”

David can read the underlying message. _Please don’t run away again_.

 _I will try_.

He thinks Matteo got the message as well.

They look at each other in silence, Matteo occasionally taking a drag from his cigarette.

David eventually turns back towards the scenery.

“I was afraid I ruined everything.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, but…” 

“But?” David prompts.

“I like you too much for anything else to matter. I like you, David, for who you are.”

David spins to look at Matteo. He is taken aback by this. This is the most direct he has seen Matteo being about anything. Incidentally, it gives the confirmation that David desired for so long.

“I like you too. We are in this together, yeah?” 

Matteo makes a step closer. “Yeah. If you will have me.” 

A small smile breaks on David’s face. The first one to grace his face in days. 

Matteo reciprocates the smile. David loves the smile on Matteo’s face.

Matteo makes another step closer and reaches out. “Is this okay?”

 _I know I may have crossed some boundaries and hurt you._ What Matteo said rings in David’s mind. He loves how Matteo respects other people’s boundaries.

“It is more than okay for me if it is okay for you.” He adds after a beat, feeling he needs to let Matteo know, “you never crossed any boundaries.” 

The smile on Matteo’s face blooms. He wraps his arms around David’s shoulders and pulls him in for a hug. David places his hands on Matteo’s waist. Like they have done before.

He can feel Matteo slowly melting against him.

David winces from the soreness. It has been a long day. He curses himself.

Matteo pulls away quickly. “Did I hurt you?” It is a bit frantic, then as if something clicked in his head, “is it your binder?” 

Matteo surprises David once again. He did not expect Matteo to know about this at all, given how he said he is uneducated about this. 

“Yeah.”

“Please tell me you haven’t left it on for days.”

“Just since this morning…” he sees Matteo ready to protest, so he switches the topic, “I thought you said you know next to nothing about this?”

It is not like David is not mindful of how to bind safely. For one, he never binds overnight. It is just on rare occasions that he is too busy or in his head he kind of forgets to let himself rest. Today is one of those days. He still knows it is not ideal no matter how rarely he does this. There is this one time Leonie gave him a lecture about self-care, and it was before she even knew about David’s binding. He knows better than to hurt himself. 

“Do you remember I told you that one of my flatmates is an activist? I learn about tidbits from him here and there.” He is not done though. “Also, do not try to deflect, I would very much prefer if you not hurt yourself.”

David rolls his eyes but concedes, “Okay. It’s getting late anyway. Can I use the shower?”

Matteo puts out his cigarette which he has forgotten about in the ashtray that lies precariously on the railing and starts walking back into the flat. David follows him. 

“I told you to make yourself at home.”

He continues into the middle of the living room and starts pointing.

The door closest to the kitchen. “That’s the bathroom. You can find new towels in the cabinet.”

The one next to it. “That’s the guestroom, you can have it.”

The remaining door. “That’s my room. You can find me in there.”

“Okay…” there is one more thing he wants to ask of Matteo. He is beaten to it though.

“Do you need a change of clothes?” 

David scratches his neck sheepishly. “Yeah. I left my bag in the car.” 

“One sec.” With that Matteo disappears into his room.

He returns with a blue hoodie and a pair of grey sweats which are loose like most of Matteo’s clothes are. It suits him to the ground. 

“Let’s go and get your car tomorrow, yeah?” Matteo asks as he hands the clothes over.

“Okay.”

Matteo reaches closer, his eyes flicking down to David’s lips. He does not follow through with it though, instead raising his hand and touches David’s face softly with a tiny smile.

“Goodnight, David.”

Matteo holds his gaze as he disappears into his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one hell of a monster chapter.
> 
> Part of this chapter is unbeta'd and unedited, I will come back and fix it later!
> 
> As always, please comment :)


	11. “So I ran.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Rating change.  
> Long-ish chapter again, strap yourselves in again!  
> This chapter has been around for weeks if not over a month, the only reason it takes this long to get to you is I'm just too pre-occupied with writing to edit it, so this is unbeta'd and unedited. I may fix this later.

**26 August 2023**

_Samstag 08:48_

 

David wakes up feeling refreshed for once. He does not feel the cramps he has from sleeping in the backseat of his car. He feels around. He is on a soft mattress that is decidedly not his bed. 

He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling, then he remembers.

He is in Heidelberg. He is in Matteo’s flat. He is in the bed of the guestroom.

He sits up in the bed. He has had the foresight of leaving the windows open last night before going to bed, so he did not die from the heat overnight. Or, if he stops being dramatic for a moment, so that he does not wake up drenched in sweat, in Matteo’s clothes. 

He swears he is not doing it on purpose, but he inhales, and the clothes smell like Matteo and it makes him feel safe. It is like he is enveloped in a hug by Matteo.

He gets out of bed and stands by the window, the sun is hanging high in the sky, and he takes in the scenery of Heidelberg from this vantage point up high. It is a mostly quiet town that offers solace to someone seeks it, especially this early in the morning, all the tourists yet to start their days. He can certainly understand why Matteo comes here when he wants to get away from everyone, to the point that he actually got himself a flat here.

Speaking of Matteo, he can hear some commotion outside, with pots clanging. David goes back to the bedside table where he left his binder and pulls it on, before putting on Matteo’s hoodie again and steps into the living room.

He can definitely tell that Matteo is in the kitchen, presumably making breakfast, given that Matteo is still nowhere to be seen; the sounds are coming from the direction of the kitchen; and there is a waft of coffee smell coming from that direction as well. He pads his way to the kitchen, stopping at the doorway.

He is greeted by the sight of Matteo, wearing super loose clothing like that is the only type of clothes that he possesses (David knows it is not true, given Matteo had worn better-fitting clothes before), busying himself at the electric stove, not noticing that he is being observed by someone.

David concludes Matteo is making pancakes, as Matteo now moves fully out of the way, busying himself with something on the other side.

Matteo catches sight of David as he turns back to the stove.

“G’morning.” Matteo mumbles. David realises Matteo has not fully waken up yet. It is true that he hates mornings, after all, David notes.

“Good morning.” David replies, sounding much more awake than Matteo, despite the fact that it is clear that Matteo woke up quite a bit earlier than David. He also made no mention of the fact that he essentially caught David staring at Matteo at the door.

“Want coffee? ’m making pancakes.” Matteo is still mumbling.

“Mhm.” David replies as he steps into the kitchen, sliding his way past Matteo to the coffee maker. He sees that there are already two cups sitting on the counter, one of them half-finished.

“That’s for me?” He turns back to ask Matteo, pointing at the full cup of coffee.

“Do you see a third person in ’ere?” And Matteo is being snarky (while mumbling) in lieu of giving a proper answer. He really hates mornings, David concludes. He just smiles, rolls his eyes and takes up the cup of coffee.

“Rude.” He says after taking a sip, without heat behind it.

“’m sorry.” Matteo is still mumbling, all the while skillfully flipping pancakes in the pan. It is almost comical, how Matteo is sounding like sleep-incarnate while moving around the kitchen like he is fully operational.

David just snorts and leans against the counter and observes Matteo making pancakes. _God is he whipped_. He knows not everything is back to normal, if there was a normal in the first place, and they still have to _talk properly_ , but he never imagined he would have something like this. 

Liking someone, and have that someone like him back, saying that he likes him for who he is. No buts, no despites, and no qualifiers to the statement. Just plain and simple.

_I like you, David, for who you are._

He never thought he would find himself in such a domestic-esque situation, leaning against the counter in the kitchen while observing said person he likes working their magic.

For the first time ever, David lets himself think he may get what he wants. To be loved.

He knows people love him, really. Laura loves him as a sibling and will defend David against anyone that crosses him to her last breath. Leonie and Sara love him as a friend and will help him bury a body if that is what he needs them to do, David will do the same for them. People he works with love him, for they can see David working his magic when directing films and they love to be involved in David’s productions. A lot of people who knows of David Schreibner loves David too, they love the projects David shares with the world, finding meaning in them for themselves, and even some of them forming a cult-like following to David’s projects. 

He also wants to be loved, and to return that love to someone, to find a connection and understanding of each other, to feel like they are home to each other. He cannot really properly explain how he knows if a person ticks all the boxes, or simply just to articulate properly _what_ that actually means or _what_ he actually wants.

He just thinks he has found that person.

 _People fall in love in all sorts of ways_. David remembers saying this to Matteo in the café that rainy day in Berlin. He said it partly as a way to settle that argument.

But how true is that.

They still have to talk though. David reminds himself. Preferably when Matteo is properly awake.

A short while later, Matteo is done with flipping pancakes, bringing a huge plate of pancakes and syrup into the living room towards the table, David following suit, not before he refills the two cups of coffee and bringing them to the table with cutlery.

Matteo takes a huge gulp from his cup as soon as David sets it in front of him. David heads back into the kitchen and grabs the bowl of coffee, sets it next to Matteo, and sits down opposite Matteo, getting a piece of pancake for himself.

He takes a bite of the pancake and nearly _moans_. It is so fluffy that it is unreal. It might be the best pancake he has ever had. He is sure Laura would get offended and throw him out of the flat if he says that to her face though. (She won’t, David is just being dramatic.) 

“How do you cook so well? It is so fluffy.”

Even in his sleep-addled state, Matteo seems to register the compliment from David and blushes.

“Told you I cook well.” He sounds more awake than a few moments before, rubbing his eyes. David likes the sight of it. Matteo grabs several pieces of pancakes for himself when he is done as well, slathering syrup on them. He just smiles at Matteo being so chaotic.

David is helping himself to another piece of pancake when Matteo switches his attention back from the food to him. This time sounding actually awake.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. Best night in days.” He smiles a little at Matteo while saying truthfully. “It helps to have a nice bed to sleep on.”

“That’s good…” Matteo seems hesitant to continue, “are you…are you going somewhere?”

He can read the underlying question Matteo is asking. What Matteo whispered yesterday at the _Scheffelterrasse_ still rings in his mind.

 _Please do not abandon me_.

“No. Unless you are going back to Berlin, or you want me to go?” He asks anyway, not wanting to assume things. 

“I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Matteo ignores the second part of David’s question. 

David knows they have to _talk_ , if they want _this_.

“I know you said I don’t have to explain myself, but I want to.”

David sets down his knife and fork. Matteo does the same, after he finishes putting a piece of pancake into his mouth.

“I was afraid I did the wrong thing and hurt you. And myself.”

David averts his eyes, suddenly finding the fork very interesting.

“I wanted to tell you about everything…at the pool,” he takes a deep breath, “but I just looked at you and thought that…that I wanted it too much, and on impulse…” 

“I thought I ruined it, and you would…you would hate me if you found out.”

“So I ran.” He feels a hand over his right hand.

The thumb caressing the back of his hand. “I don’t think I can hate you.”

“You can’t say that.” 

Matteo just keeps the motion going, while waiting for David to say more.

“I lost a lot of things because of this. My parents…still do not accept that I am a son, even when they so desperately wanted one. At high school, the teachers knew about this, but they…they refused to call me by my name. I was laughed at by classmates. I lost my family, my friends, everything. Everything. I even moved cities just to finish my abitur.”

He did not notice when Matteo stood up, but he notices an arm around his back, a hand resting on his upper arm. Matteo standing next to him. He did not notice that he is shaking. He takes a deep breath, and goes willingly, leaning his head against Matteo’s stomach.

“For a long time, I only had Laura. I planned to go through life alone. Get my abitur. Get to film school. Direct films. Done. That was the plan.” David reminds himself to breathe, “I never stopped feeling like I was drowning though. I feel like I am a bird without legs, _abandoned_ and unable to find home.” 

“Like the one you made in the collage.”

 _Matteo remembers_.

“Yeah.” 

A beat of silence.

“Then Leonie and Sara came along, and they found a place in my life. They are really the first people other than Laura who knows who I am and stayed. I didn’t even plan to let them know but it just kind of happened.”

“You are so distant to most people because you are afraid of getting hurt.” Matteo states. It is not even a question.

David just nods.

“Then I saw you.”

“Then you saw me.” Matteo just repeats.

“I just, I don’t know, feel there is a pull towards you. Like it is meant to be. It is scary, to feel like that.”

They just stay in position for a while, until Matteo starts talking. 

“I feel the same…the pull I mean. It is hard to explain, I just wanted to be around you, then we started to spend more time together, hanging out. It was just so beautiful…I feel understood, happier and calmer when you’re there.” 

 _Maybe this is meant to be after all_.

After a pause, Matteo continues, a bit quieter. “But I lose things I treasure.”

David does not know what to make of this. 

“My father ran away to Italy…when he decided my mother was _too much_ for him.” 

“I am afraid…David…that I will drive away my friends one day, that _Peach_ will fail one day, that I will…” Matteo trails off.

David thinks he knows what Matteo wants to say. He also realises something.

_David ran away right after kissing Matteo. After Matteo pretty much told him he liked what happened. Matteo thought he was abandoned._

He stands up abruptly and wraps Matteo in a hug. Matteo hides his face in the crook of his neck.

“I like _you_ , David. Nothing can change that fact.” Matteo whispers against his neck.

David tightens his arms around Matteo’s waist. “I will not abandon you. I like you too, Matteo.”

He feels Matteo relaxing against him.

David eventually maneuvers themselves to the couch, Matteo leaning against him heavily. David lets him. They talk softly amongst themselves here and there. He turns on the television, turning down the volume. The news is on, but none of them are really paying attention, the television just providing some ambient sound alongside the noise of the people on the streets as the city starts to wake up more. 

They drift off. Pouring their hearts out drained their energy a lot, despite it being early in the morning.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 13:14_

 

David wakes up from his slumber, but without the heavy weight of Matteo on his side. He looks over and is greeted by stormy-sea-blue eyes staring back at him _fondly_ , with a small smile on Matteo’s face.

“Hey.” Matteo greets.

“Hey.” David smiles back.

The air is lighter now, between the two of them, confessions having sunken in.

“You hungry?”

“You seem to be always hungry, Mr. Florenzi.” He jabs, though right after he finishes, his stomach betrays him and growls. 

“Yeah. Sure.” Matteo just says sarcastically. “I was going to ask if we should get your car and grab food on the way. I guess not.”

David stands up from the couch and walks into his room in search of his wallet and keys. When he returns, Matteo is sprawled out on the couch, taking up the space David has vacated as well.

David raises his eyebrows at Matteo. “I thought we are heading out?” 

“Oh? Are we?” 

David rolls his eyes and goes to pull Matteo off the couch, who goes willingly.

“Who is hungry now, Mr. Schreibner?”

“Still you.” He huffs as he stalks towards the door, Matteo in tow.

Matteo rolled his eyes when David told him that he thinks he parked his car at virtually the opposite end of the city, near the university campus, muttering _who parks their car there_ not so subtly. David pretends to have not heard that, just following Matteo who obviously knows the streets of the city much better than David does.

They make it to the bank of the Neckar, where the breeze makes the hot summer weather a bit more bearable, especially when David is still wrapped in Matteo’s hoodie. 

They walk side by side in silence, David soaking in the fact they are in each other’s company, when he feels Matteo’s hand brush against his. He looks over at Matteo.

“May I?” he asks, his eyes drifting to their hands between them. 

Instead of answering, David takes Matteo’s hand into his own. It takes himself by surprise, a little bit, but being around Matteo makes him feel comfortable to do things like these.

Their hands fit together perfectly, like they are at a place they were meant to be in the first place. Matteo smiles at him _lovingly_.

David likes this. He likes that he can have this. 

They eventually reach the parking garage David left his car in, still hand-in-hand. David lets go of Matteo and goes to the machine to pay for the parking, then they go in search of his car. David was too in his head yesterday to remember where he left his car.

After a brief search, he finds his 15-year old black Volkswagen Golf sitting in a spot in the corner of the garage. Matteo just raises his eyebrows at him.

“You slept in this thing?” Reproachful.

David averts his eyes and scratches his neck. “Yeah.”

Matteo seems to get David’s discomfort about this. He steps closer. “It just hurts me…to think you did this to yourself…okay?” His eyes sincere. 

David never considered himself to be impulsive. Or rather, he has the impulse in him, but usually he listens to his mind and think better of it. When it comes to Matteo though, the heart wins out more often than David would care to admit. 

He closes the distance between the two of them and presses a chaste kiss square on Matteo’s lips.

“Okay.” He whispers. 

Matteo just smiles at David dumbly. Like he is not sure if he imagined what has just happened.

He steps back from Matteo’s space and heads for the driver’s side, but Matteo puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him. 

“I’m driving.” He says, taking the keys out of David’s hands.

They drive back in silence, Matteo only stopping at a bakery down the street from the garage to buy lunch for the two of them. It looks like the several times before that they have sat in a car, except for the fact now Matteo’s right hand is on the center console, with David’s left hand on top of it, his fingers slotting into the gaps between Matteo’s fingers.

They eventually make it back to the underground garage of Matteo’s apartment building, and Matteo conveniently parks David’s car next to his own. 

Matteo jumps out of the car first, suddenly moving quicker than he seems to be capable of and opens the trunk. 

He gasps. “Didn’t you say your bag is in the trunk?”

David scrambles out of the car at that, stumbling towards the trunk, poking his head around Matteo.

His bag is obviously safely where David has left it.

He turns his head and sees Matteo grinning like a maniac. That little shit.

He punches Matteo in his arms. “Idiot.” Then picks up his gym bag.

Matteo just keeps grinning as he hands the keys back to David, who locks the car, and spins around, heading for the elevator.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 17:42_

 

Matteo has left David to his own devices in his flat soon after they made it back up there. Matteo just randomly asking “Cheese is fine with you right?” before heading out again.

David is not one to snoop around the flat (although the only place he has not yet been in is Matteo’s room, so it is more about there is nothing to snoop), so to pass his time, he pulls out his sketchbook and heads out to the balcony to sketch the scenery. He ignores the fact that his gym bag is also filled to the brim with his own clothes that he has more than enough time to change into. 

He is finishing up the rough sketch when he feels a body pressing up to his back and arms winding their way around his waist.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself, Florenzi.” David shoots back, trying to add the final touches to the sketch.

“And here I thought I will make another pasta for you.”

David spins around in Matteo’s arms. “And you changed your mind?” He raises his eyebrows at Matteo. 

“You’re lucky that I love you.” Matteo shoots back.

David stills. Then he sees Matteo’s eyes widens, blushing and turning his face to look at anything other than David. 

It is different. They’ve said they _liked_ each other more than a handful times since they came face to face on the bridge on Friday – but to say you _love_ another person is a whole other step. Deep down David knows he _loves_ Matteo, but the thought of broaching this topic had not even crossed his mind before this.

“What did you say?” He whispers.

“I’m not saying it again.”

“Say it.”

“I love you.” Matteo says, finally looking back at David after saying it out loud. 

David will be lying if he says he did not dream of this, but he just never let himself really think about it.

“I love you too.” David breathes out, forehead knocking against Matteo’s, then their lips touch. Like the day in the pool, it feels like coming home. David feels secure here, with Matteo.

David eventually pulls back, dodging when Matteo tries to chase him, ending up kissing David’s shoulder instead.

“I thought I heard someone mentioning pasta.” David says, cheekily tilting his head.

“I swear you just keep me around for food.” Matteo says, while reluctantly pulling away. 

“The food is for sure a good bonus.” David shoots back cheekily. 

Matteo just makes an indignant noise. David following Matteo into the kitchen.

“I won.” He says as he leans against the counter like he did in the morning.

Matteo just rolls his eyes at him. David lets out a laugh.

David just stands there and observes Matteo busying around in the kitchen, who tries (and fails) to get David to help him out with the cooking. David just pulls out his phone and put on some music in the background, swaying along to it while still looking at Matteo.

He can see that there is an ungodly amount of cheese in the vicinity, all of which are getting melted and added to the pot at one time or another, and soon the kitchen is filled with the smell of cheese, and his mouth waters. 

He pushes himself off the counter, when he sees that Matteo is just standing in front of the stove, waiting for the pasta to be ready, occasionally stirring the pot.

He stands behind Matteo, resting his hands on his waist trying not to accidentally touch the pots and burn his hands. He can feel Matteo leaning back against him.

“Are you the secret brother of the Honey Monster?” 

Matteo lets out a surprised laugh “What?”, turning to look at David. 

“You’re like the Cheese Monster.” 

Matteo pulls away, “ _Stronzo_ , why do I like you?”

“I know I’m quite loveable, thanks.” David just shoots back cheekily.

Matteo just shoves David lightly out of the way. “Let me plate this masterpiece.” 

“Masterpiece is it? What is this called?” 

Matteo ignores him for a moment, focusing on plating the pasta, sprinkling some herbs onto it just to make it look better like he is actually a chef working in a restaurant. 

“Pasta Quartto Formaggi, a la Luigi” He says while presenting the two plates as if he is a television chef, David thinks.

David’s mouth waters, the pasta looks and smells very delicious. He sees Matteo going out and setting the two plates down on the dining table, so he moves to fetch the cutlery. Matteo is back in the kitchen though as David turns around, and David sees him holding a bottle of white wine, opening a cupboard and pull out a pair of wine glasses.

“I thought you prefer beer to wine.” David comments.

“Well, got to be classier for someone, don’t I?”

“Dork.” He follows Matteo back to the dining table, sitting down opposite him, as Matteo fills their wine glasses. 

“So this is a date?” David prompts.

“This is a date.” Matteo affirms.

They clink their glasses before getting into their pasta. David _actually_ _moans_ when he takes his first bite. How is it fair that Matteo can cook so well when David cannot even boil an egg? The pasta is _heavenly_ , the taste of cheese thick in both his mouth and nose, rich and creamy. This is the third meal Matteo has cooked for him and it just got better and better.

Matteo _chortles_. “Did you just…” then proceeds to burst out laughing.

“Shut up.” David glares at Matteo.

“Okay…okay…” Matteo gasps while he tries to get his laughing under control.

“It is so good. The taste and texture of the cheese is unreal. Your cooking is so good.”

Matteo blushes. “Thank you.”

They fall into quiet conversation over the food, decidedly avoiding talking about David’s film which they both know they _ditched,_ instead talking about mundane things like sights and good restaurants around the city; then about the new game at _Peach_ that Matteo is working hard to get it released on time; then about David’s _hipster_ obsessions (as Matteo calls it) with obscure musicians and movies. 

Somewhere along the line, they finished their pasta, and moved to the couch, sitting such that they are facing each other, their sides leaning into the backrest of the couch, their wine glasses on the coffee table.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 20:55_

 

“It is not hipster!” David protests. They have been over this for multiple times. 

“I know, and let me quote,” as he pulls out his phone and reads off it, “it is a preference for alternative niche art that is underappreciated by the mainstream, Schreibner, 2019.”

David rolls his eyes. “Did you just quote me as if you are writing an academic essay?”

“Maybe.”

“Idiot.”

“So what? You love this idiot.” Matteo after a few glasses of wine is a lot looser, and he will let out confident comments like these that you would otherwise never get to hear. David likes this version of Matteo as much as the perfectly-sober version. 

He just _loves_ Matteo.

Impulsively, as most things he does around Matteo is, he moves to straddle Matteo, pushing him back against the couch. “Do I?” He challenges, cocking his eyebrow at Matteo. The atmosphere changes around them. 

Matteo rises to the challenge, resting his hands on David’s hips, smirking up at David. “You look like you very much do.”

“Prove it.” He challenges with a head tilt.

Matteo leans up to kiss David, and David responds enthusiastically. Presses of lips soon turn into something more heated, when David slides his tongue against Matteo’s lips, who complies easily, and their tongues dance together as they full-on make out on the couch, while David all but pins down Matteo beneath him.

They eventually part for air, both of them panting hard. David takes in the sight in front of him. Matteo panting hard, lips swollen, blushing and pupils blown. He imagines he is not in a much better state than Matteo is in.

He also feels something pressing against his inner thigh through layers of clothing.

“Do you…” He hears Matteo asking, his voice hoarse.

“Yes.” His own voice is equally hoarse.

He stands up, nearly stumbling, and all but drags Matteo towards the guest room which he has claimed for himself.

He deposits Matteo on the bed, then tells him lowly. “Close your eyes and turn away for a bit, okay?” 

Matteo nods and complies.

David quickly makes his way over to his gym bag and pulls out a loose black t-shirt and a sports bra. _This will do_ , he decides.

He pulls off Matteo’s hoodie that he is still wearing, then his binder. Then he puts on the sports bra and t-shirt. 

He goes back to the bed and pulls Matteo onto his feet, he seems to be wobbling for a bit. He seems to realise that David has changed clothes. David leads the kiss while Matteo struggles to match his intensity. 

A while later, David reaches for the hem of Matteo’s t-shirt, and looks at Matteo once again for confirmation. Matteo nods.

David pulls the t-shirt over Matteo’s head. He admires the sight in front of him, then runs his hands down Matteo’s chest.

Matteo’s hands finds their way to David’s back, his fingers holding the hem of David’s t-shirt. “Is this okay?”

David nods, and Matteo pulls the t-shirt over David’s head, “I will leave this on.” He tells Matteo when he is done. Matteo didn’t even blink at that, and leans in to kiss David and resume their make-out session. 

Eventually, David’s hands find their way to Matteo’s belt.

Matteo pulls back from kissing David’s neck. “I am nervous.”

“Me too.”

David waits for Matteo to initiate the kiss again, so it goes at a pace that both of them are comfortable with. He starts undoing the belt then the button, when Matteo pulls him in again, and it quickly drops to the floor.

Matteo reaches over, wanting to pull down David’s sweats, but his hands are shaking so hard that David just chuckled and did it himself instead.

They end up in bed, Matteo hovering over David, kissing his way down towards the happy trail above the waistband.

“I don’t know how to do this.” Matteo admits.

“I am new to this too, but I will try and guide you.”

David _tries_ to talk Matteo through it, as he goes down on David, though _try_ being the operative word, as David descended into broken, nonsensical phrases and sounds as Matteo gets a hang of what he was doing after a while, finding the right spots to work on.

He lets out a long, drawn out moan as he reaches his climax and shudders, though Matteo, being the chaotic little shit he is, does not stop until David all but drags him by his hair so that they are level again. Matteo kisses him.

Just when Matteo is getting comfortable, David finds his strength and flips them over, so now he is pinning Matteo down once again. He smirks down at Matteo.

“I was going to say you did so well and I love you for it.”

Matteo is still disoriented from being flipped over, staring at him dumbly.

“You’re in trouble, Florenzi.” He announces, as he makes his way down south.

It is a wonder that none of the neighbours called the police reporting a murder happening in Matteo’s flat.

Matteo was loud, and David showed _no mercy_. David did not even know Matteo, who is usually so quiet and soft spoken, is capable of being _so damn loud_.

“You’re killing me, David.” Matteo gasps out in between heavy pants, when David is finally done with him, pulling him into a series of soft kisses.

“That’s what you get.” David says as he kisses the tip of Matteo’s nose. 

They lay in each other’s arms for a while, trying to regulate their breathing, starting to drift off at the same time. 

“Love you.” Matteo mumbles against David’s shoulder.

“Love you too, idiot.” David whispers back.

David had the most blissed out sleep of his life.

(It is the same for Matteo too. He feels safe in David’s arms.)

 

* * *

 

**27 August 2023**

_Sonntag 10:04_

 

David wakes up lying on his side and on top of the duvet. The soft breeze blowing in through the window at his face, warm sunlight hitting his torso, warming him up.

There is also an arm thrown over his stomach, a body pressed flush against his back, a leg slotted between his legs, and breath against the back of his neck. 

Matteo is spooning David.

He moves his hand to cover Matteo’s hand.

“Morning.” Matteo whispers against his neck. 

“Hi.”

David reaches out to the bed-side table, where amidst the flurry of activity last night, his phone still somehow found its way to be. He is about to pick it up when Matteo jostles him, trying to turn him over so that they lie face to face. David resists.

“Stop moving.” David complains.

“ _Stop moving._ ” Matteo imitates him. David snorts. He is actually in love with an idiot. 

“Matteo.” He warns. 

Matteo continues his attempt to turn David around. “Come on, give me a kiss, asshole.” 

“Nö.” David says as he lets himself to be turned around anyway. 

Matteo dives in to kiss David as he tries to turn his head away. Matteo succeeds anyway, and David complies with Matteo’s wish, Matteo running his hands through David’s hair as they lazily make-out. Though, Matteo, the top-tier little shit, decides to pull on David’s hair, who shrieks in pain, and retaliates.

When they are done with their attempt to rip hair out of each other’s head, David lies half on top of Matteo, one hand holding Matteo’s waist, while Matteo brings wraps one of his arms around David, the other hand running its way up and down David’s arm.

“This is good.”

“What is?”

“This here. Everything here.”

“I never thought I could have this.” David whispers.

“I dreamt of having this.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. This is…this is home. To me.”

“I think I found home too.”

Matteo’s arms tighten around David, as if he never wants to let go.

David does not want to ever let go too.

“I won.” David whispers.

“Did you?”

“Mhm.”

The conversation turns more intimately personal, as they quietly talk about themselves – how Matteo found out he is gay, and his old crush on Jonas (“Should I feel threatened? I can certainly see why you’d like him” David jokes, though also tightening his grip on Matteo. Matteo just rolled his eyes); Matteo’s relationship with religion (“I don’t really go to church anymore. It’s not for me”); how David found out he is transgender (“I’ve always known, I think. Then I googled it.” “You googled it?”); then things about T, like testosterone and getting the shots (“It’s just a shot in the thigh.” David says while Matteo mildly shudders.) and going to the doctor’s for checkup and also visits to the therapists.

“Did you ever think of getting anything done?" 

David stills. Matteo seems to sense his hesitation, “I’m so-” 

David places his free hand on top of Matteo’s mouth to stop him, the other hand still gripping at Matteo’s waist. 

Matteo, the idiot, licks his hand.

“Ew. Gross.”

Matteo just raises his eyebrows at him cheekily.

David inhales.

“I don’t think I want to, for below…” He trails off.

“That’s totally fine, you’re good anyway.”

He smiles a bit. “Top surgery though, for sure.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, in fact…” 

“In fact?” 

“My surgery is scheduled for November.”

Matteo gasps. David looks up. _Is Matteo tearing up?_

“I’m happy for you.” Matteo whispers.

David leans up and kisses Matteo. “Me too." 

They lie in each other’s arms for a long while, Matteo continues running his hand on David’s arm, while David caressing Matteo’s neck, who reacts as if he is a cat. They stay silent, enjoying each other’s company. The sunlight is no longer hitting their bodies, and the ambient noises of the streets start to get louder, David knows it is nearly noon. 

He realises the past two days with Matteo is the laziest he has been in a long while, not getting his morning run nor even getting out of the house before noon, but he would not have it any other way. He likes what he is having right now. Though David promises himself he would go for his morning runs again soon. Soon. 

Matteo brings him out of his trance. 

“So…” 

David hums to signal that he is listening. 

“Are we like…dating or like…boyfriends?” Matteo asks. David can’t help but snort halfway through the question. 

“You are really an idiot sometimes.” David comments while trying not to burst out laughing. 

“What!” Matteo looks genuinely offended.

“So, let’s see.” David sits up next to Matteo, slightly tilting his head for a moment. “We have technically dated for like twenty times, kissed each other several hundred times. I said I love you, and we are literally half-naked in bed right now…”

He can see Matteo’s face getting progressively redder as he goes on.

“…Do you think I am easy, Florenzi? You can’t bed me easily.” David deadpans. 

“Asshole.” Matteo mutters.

“Is this your way to ask me to be your boyfriend?” He raises his eyebrows. 

Matteo, now red like a tomato, turns his head away from David, hiding his face in his pillow.

“We are boyfriends if you want it to be, Matteo.” David says, then presses a soft kiss to the exposed neck of Matteo.

Matteo turns back, holds David’s face and captures his lips.

“I want this, a lot.”

They stay tangled in bed until way past noon.

 

* * *

 

_Sonntag 20:13_

 

They put on _Only Lovers Left Alive_ on the television while they eat Deliveroo takeout from the burger place in the middle of town that Matteo told David about when he said he was craving burgers. 

To David’s surprise, Matteo actually pays attention to what is happening on the screen, instead of mocking David about his _hipster_ obsessions with indie films. 

When they finish, Matteo tells him now he understands why he wants to go to Detroit _of all places_ , as well as where his obsession with vampires came from.

“You know that you are not a vampire that needs to hide from society though, yeah?”

David stays silent for a while. He knows he is not _literally_ a vampire. He knows Laura accepts him; Leonie and Sara accept him; Matteo, who he loves a lot, accepts him. But that does not necessarily extend to everyone. David has countless invisible scars in his mind to show for that.

He hugs Matteo in the side. “Maybe.”

 

* * *

 

**28 August 2023**

_Montag 12:55_

 

Jonas’ phone vibrates, he sees that it is a Snapchat notification

 

_From Matteo_

 

He is confused, considering the fact that while Matteo has had Snapchat for years, Jonas isn’t even sure if he averages a snap per year, plus the fact that Matteo is still pulling his disappearing act, and the last communication from Matteo was him saying that he does not want to be on set anymore. 

He opens the snap, and is greeted by a photo of what seems to be Matteo taking a picture of himself in bed, covered by the duvet…with an arm thrown over it? 

In the three seconds that the picture stays on the screen, Jonas can make out the fact that the far wall in the background beyond the bed is definitely not the WG, so Matteo is still not yet back in Berlin.

The other fact that he picks up though, is the darker skin tone of the arm covered over what he presumes to be Matteo’s duvet-clad body. 

_What the hell is going on now?_

 

* * *

 

_Montag 14:21_

 

“Who has a sandwich fetish now?” David taunts.

“You. Always you.” Matteo shoots back.

Which, in fairness, is not necessarily false, considering the fact that Matteo is making them sandwiches because he knows David likes eating sandwiches.

His phone buzzes. He has pretty much ignored the messages on his phone all week, putting it into airplane mode so no one can reach him. He finally turned it off last night, when Matteo tried to text him while sitting next to him and discovering that David cannot get his messages. Why does Matteo decide to text him when he is next to him? David does not know.

 

_Laura_

“You coming home anytime soon?” – 14:21

 

He feels a bit guilty, really. He knows that Laura cares a lot for him, and every time he runs away, Laura is silently worried for him. She never gave him shit for doing it, but David thinks she does not deserve this from David.

 

_David_

“Soon.” – 14:22

 

He pockets his phone and turns back to Matteo, who is now taking the sandwiches out from the panini maker and plating them.

“Here’s your toastie.” Matteo offers him a plate.

“Panini.” 

Matteo rolls his eyes. “Are we doing this again?”

“We will always be doing this.”

“Okay. Sandwich." 

“Sandwich.”

They lean against the counter as they start eating the sandwiches. Two things hit David once again: (1) how easily he has slipped into this domesticity with Matteo; (2) how Matteo can make the simplest of food delicious. 

It is avocado toast, as Matteo told him before starting, but David can tell there is a generous sprinkle of some other ingredients that Matteo added in that makes the sandwich so much richer and tastier than the usual avocado toast that you make. 

“It’s delicious. How do you make everything so delicious?” 

“I’m Italian? The superior chefs?” Matteo tries. 

David just rolls his eyes and smiles. “Dork.”

“Rude.”

He likes living in this bubble, but they cannot hide from real life indefinitely. Matteo has been working on his company’s projects, which mostly consisted of replying to emails, on and off in the past few days, and David still haven’t done anything productive when it comes to the film he is filming. He has just sketched a lot and worked through another script that he may use in a production in the future. He knows that both he and Matteo have to get back to Berlin and back to work soon.

“When are we heading back?” He asks when he finishes his sandwich.

Matteo actually drops the dish he is washing in the sink.

David steps closer to Matteo, who immediately snakes a wet arm around David’s torso, then pouts at David.

“You know we both have work to do.” David tries.

“I like it here.” Matteo actually _clings_ onto David.

“Didn’t know you are so clingy.”

“There is no refund.”

“Did I say I want a refund?” David asks, then presses a chaste kiss to Matteo’s cheek. 

They stay there for a while, then Matteo resumes washing the dishes, David helping him to towel them off and placing them back into the cabinet.

David is pouring them tea (which he got from the supermarket yesterday because Matteo literally have _no_ supplies in this flat) when Matteo speaks up again.

“We can go back tomorrow.”

“And you won’t resent me for that?” David asks while handing Matteo the cup.

“Maybe a little bit.” Matteo jokes, his smile giving him away.

“I can make it worth your while. We still have time.” David raises his eyebrows at Matteo.

“I will hold you to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a disclaimer that - long chapter is not the new norm lmao; there will be shorter chapters coming through after this. 
> 
> Also you may notice that there is now a chapter count up there. I have started writing the last arc of this fic today ~~(which is from Ch.18 I think)~~ , and I think depending on how the plot points play out, the actual chapter count might be +/- 1. Just a heads up :)
> 
> As always, please comment :)


	12. "Don't do that again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, the upcoming few chapters are a few shorter.  
> Unbeta'd and unedited.

**29 August 2023**

_Dienstag 09:43_

 

David finally beats Matteo to waking up first the fourth time trying, though waking up early does not help you much when you have a boy with a mop of blond hair that is lying half on top of you and clinging. Matteo has all but abandoned his own room for the guest room, because it is where he can find David and cling to him like there is no tomorrow. 

He tries to untangle Matteo from himself, though Matteo, in his sleep state still manages to make noises in protest and tries to grab hold of David when he eventually manages to free himself from the vices of Matteo and roll out of bed.

They are supposed to drive back today after all, which means they should probably repack their belongings so they do not leave stuff behind, even if this is not a hotel and said stuff should still be where they have left it should they really leave something behind, but it would still be inconvenient, and David would rather save himself the hassle.

He has mostly managed to pack his things, mostly clothes, but also his sketchbook and various stationeries that he has left scattered on the desk, as well as his laptop and chargers. He walks around the room for a sweep to make sure he has not left behind anything. Just as he rounds the bed, turning to look over at the windowsill, he feels a hand tugging at the back of his t-shirt, he turns around to look at Matteo, whose eyes are still closed, and refusing to let go of his t-shirt even when David tries to move out of his reach.

“Give me your stupid hand and let me kiss your stupid mouth.” Matteo mumbles groggily.

David rolls his eyes. Matteo is always grumpy when it is in the morning, and somehow he manages to grumpily make demands like these when his eyes still have not opened yet. Is he endeared by this nonetheless? Yes.

He is in love with an occasionally grumpy idiot and he has no qualms about it. The cute face, messy blond hair, piercing blue eyes and the soft soul within him more than makes up for it.

He lets himself to be pulled back onto the bed, landing his limbs on either side of Matteo, hovering over him, Matteo blindly reaching out to hold one of David’s hands, before finally opening his eyes, albeit still squinting at David.

David just closes the distance and leaves a peck on Matteo’s lips, then he pulls away. Matteo, evidently not satisfied, tries but fails to pull David back in.

“Now your wishes have been answered, time to wake up.” As he pulls away, trying to pull Matteo up with him in one motion.

Matteo though, has other ideas and makes himself a deadweight while David tries to pull him out. What he has not considered though, is how much stronger David is than Matteo, and he has no choice but to sit on the edge of the bed, despite the fact that all he wants to do is to sleep some more and cuddle David.

He pouts and makes a puppy face at David.

“Come on, we are driving back to Berlin today.”

Matteo just pouts a bit more. “Can we not stay here some more?” Whinier than if he is sober.

“You know we shouldn’t.” David says, pressing another kiss to Matteo’s lips to appease him. “Let’s get your things packed and get going.”

Matteo stalks back into his own room to find his things while David heads into the kitchen to fix up some coffee for his boyfriend. _Hm, that sounds weird, but David has all the time to get used to that description_.

They have cleared the fridge last night, cooking up a meal that involved cheese, tomatoes and smoked salmon. Matteo for once does not cook pasta, but rather finds rice stashed in his cabinet and made risotto based on these spoilable ingredients they have in the fridge. While the dish was unorthodox to say the least, Matteo managed to make it delicious, and David seriously thinks that nothing Matteo makes would not be good. It is almost unfair, when you consider David’s nonexistent culinary skills. He would probably be a fire hazard if someone lets him take control of a kitchen.

He is brought out of his musings when he hears Matteo throwing his bag next to David’s by the kitchen door, then he turns to see a still very much sleepy boy walking towards him. He hands over the cup of coffee, while he continues sipping on his cup of tea.

“Thanks.” He mumbles.

Matteo is more awake by the time he finishes his cup of coffee, his movements no longer sluggish, his eyes now properly open and his speech no longer a mumble.

“Should we go?” David asks.

“Make sure we stop at a bakery on the way out.”

“Well of course, I won’t want you to die on me because of starvation.” David cannot pass up on the opportunity to make fun of Matteo’s constant hunger.

Matteo just flips him off as he marches out of the flat with his bag, though he ends up letting David walk first because he has to lock the front door.

 

* * *

 

_Dienstag 10:21_

 

They are stood in the corner of the parking garage. Not just any corner, but the corner where they left their cars. There is just a slight problem. 

They have two cars and they are both heading back to Berlin. It does not exactly make sense to leave one of their cars halfway across the country, does it? At least that is what David thinks. Matteo just drags David away from his own car when he so much attempts to walk to his old Volkswagen.

“Don’t you want to drive back together?”

“I can’t leave my car here.”

“I may have arranged for your car to be delivered to Berlin…” Matteo says sheepishly.

“You – what?”

“I can cancel it if…” Matteo starts to say.

“No, okay.” David cuts him off as he puts his gym bag into the trunk of Matteo’s dark grey Audi A7, as he can read from the badge of the car. He hands over the keys to his car when Matteo holds out his hands.

“Just wait here for a second.” Matteo says as he gets into David’s car, driving it out of the garage. He sits on the trunk as he pulls out his phone to distract himself while Matteo is doing whatever it is with his car.

A few minutes later, while David is on his phone texting Laura, Matteo comes walking back in.

“Okay, let’s go.” He says as he pulls David back onto his feet.

 

* * *

 

They settle into the car as Matteo reverses the car out of the spot and then out of the garage. They start driving down the street when Matteo pulls off to the side of the road and gets out of the car again. David looks out of the passenger side window to see where they are. No surprises at all – it is a bakery, as Matteo will never forget about food. A few minutes later, he comes back with a large paper bag, and puts it on the center console, pulling a bun out and offering it to David. David peeks into the bag, there are at least five different buns and bread in the bag. He looks up and squints at Matteo. 

“Do you seriously need to eat five of those just for breakfast?”

Matteo scoffs as he pulls out another bun for himself. “Of course not, I just figured we should have some food on board in case we get hungry on the road.”

“Are you aware that there are places called rest stops along the autobahn? I am pretty sure you know that.”

Matteo splutters. “I forgot.”

“You forgot?” David is incredulous.

“Asshole.” He mutters as their car passes the central station, then they pull onto the autobahn soon after.

The radio is on, but the volume turned way down to just provide some ambient noises to the chatter between the two of them while Matteo drives. They seem to have the ability to chat about everything and keep conversations going no matter how long it lasts. Maybe this is how you know you have found your other half, David thinks, while looking at Matteo’s hand covering his own on the center console.

“You know how I always build dystopias with my films?”

“Yeah. You told me art is a form of self-expression.”

Matteo remembers.

“I am starting to think…maybe not everything ends in an abyss.”

“Yeah?” Matteo squeezes his fingers as he asks.

He turns his hand around on the centre console and laces his fingers together with Matteo’s.

“Mhm. Sometimes there is light at the end of the tunnel.”

David has decided at this moment that he would change something up with the film. He thinks he has the perfect idea on a new ending for the film.

Around an hour and a half into the trip, Matteo pulls off into a rest stop, getting out of the car to stretch after he put his car into park. David follows him out. They are in one of those rest stops covered in trees, without amenities like gas stations or shops, just benches and a toilet. It is deserted.

David wraps his arms around Matteo’s waist as he stretches again.

“Hi.” Matteo says when he stops stretching, resting his hands on David’s shoulders, knocking his head against David’s.

“Are you tired?”

“Not really?” Matteo says as he twists his body, seemingly trying to work out some knots in his back. David can tell he is lying.

“I will drive the next leg.”

Matteo looks like he has something to say about it, so he adds “Didn’t you say you want to phone-in on a meeting?”

“Hm, okay.” Matteo says after considering David for a beat, before scandalously adding, “I still can’t believe you never told me you can drive.”

“You never asked!” David replies cheekily, untangling himself from Matteo and goes to the driver-side door. Matteo mirrors him and plops himself in the passenger seat.

They pull back out onto the autobahn, and when the clock hits noon, Matteo pulls out his phone and dials a number. David mutes the radio when he notices Matteo is putting the phone on speaker.

David does not pay much attention to the contents of the discussion as he realised he could not understand half of the jargons they were using in conversation, though he notices Matteo still tends to consider his words before saying them out loud. It seems like it is just a consistent characteristic of Matteo to be careful with his words.

Eventually Matteo wraps up his remote participation in the meeting and hangs up the phone, just as David pulls into a huge rest stop by the autobahn. David is starving, and he figures Matteo could not be faring much better than himself.

His suspicions are proven correct when Matteo makes his way out of the car and makes a beeline for the restaurant all but abandoning his car and David. “Oh my god, there’s food!” David rolls his eyes and locks the car, before following Matteo into the restaurant.

Autobahn rest stop food was nothing special, but it did the job. Matteo took the wheel once again when they were done with their meal, and David took over again for the last leg of the trip. One of the perks when you have two people who can drive on a long-distance car journey is the fact that you can alternate and there is no need to stop to rest, like Matteo did when he did the reverse trip more than a week ago. They also alternate between soft conversation, singing along to songs on the radio, playing with each other’s fingers with their free hands throughout the journey. At some point during the last leg of the trip, Matteo drifted off in the passenger seat, leaving David to focus on the road to get them back safely.

 

* * *

 

_Dienstag 17:04_

 

They have just entered the boundaries of Berlin when Matteo rises from his slumber. He tries reaching out for David, but David shoves his hands away with a slightly annoyed “I am focusing on the road”. It is not entirely unjustified, as the roads get more complicated when you actually enter a city, so Matteo just settled back into his own seat, zoning out as he looks at the passing scenery. 

David speaks up then. “Do you want to have dinner with Laura?”

“Hmph?” Matteo is not entirely paying attention, his eyes wandering outside the window, trying to figure out where they currently are, then his brain catches up to what David just said. “Huh?”

It is not like Matteo does not know who Laura is, given how he has worked with Laura before he even came to know David, and the fact that he just came face to face with Laura again recently when he tried to seek out David. It was not the most amicable situation more than a week ago, though Laura softened when she seemingly realised something in that interaction. He is just not expecting to find himself seated in a room with Laura, having a meal with her anytime soon.

“I told her we’re coming back and she invited you.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, dinner tonight.”

Matteo might be a bit nervous about this happening, but anytime is about as good the time, and now that he can call David his boyfriend, he guesses this would not be the worst time to meet Laura again, this time not as a person who works on her gig, but something more.

“Sure.”

Matteo swears he sees David’s smile widening when he agreed to it. When they stop at a red light, David quickly pulls out his phone and typed quickly on it. Matteo guesses it is Laura.

Matteo also pulls out his phone and opens up his WhatsApp, which he has resolutely ignored for very long, and shoots off a few messages, replying to most of the people who has texted him but he has so far neglected to respond.

 

_Matteo_

“Hey Jonas, I am back in Berlin. I’ll see you soon.” – 17:09

 

_Matteo @ WG_

“Be back tonight or tomorrow.” – 17:09

 

_Matteo_

“I didn’t hurt him. I swear.” – 17:12

 

_Matteo_

“Hey Amira, things are better now. Catch up with you later.” – 17:13

 

_Matteo_

“Mama, sorry for not getting back to you sooner.” – 17:17

“I fell in love, his name is David.” – 17:18

 

* * *

 

_Dienstag 17:39_

 

David pulls the car to the side of the road, next to the building Matteo would recognise without difficulty at any time of day. Where David lives. By the time Matteo hops out of the car, David has already retrieved his gym bag from the trunk, handing over the keys back to Matteo, though in one motion, David ends up holding Matteo’s hand in a weird angle, running his thumb over the back of Matteo’s hand. 

“Are you sure?” David asks. Matteo knows he is asking about having dinner with Laura. He also knows he really meant it when he agreed to do this, albeit on super short notice.

“Of course. Maybe I can charm her with my Italian cuisine too if she needs help on food.” He replies with a flourish. He finds himself being more comfortable with everything than before when David is around.

“I’m sure she has that covered, but you’ll get your chance.” David says, smiling at him.

Matteo locks his car and starts walking with David towards the building. He feels his phone vibrating, pulling it out to have a look. There are in fact a few messages waiting for him, but the latest one catches his attention.

 

_Jonas_

“Cool. Will I see you tomorrow?” – 17:21

 

_Mia @ WG_

“Still in Madrid. Welcome home though!” – 17:27

_Leonie @ Project D_

“Attention crew: Meeting at the following address tomorrow. We will resume filming shortly, everything will be addressed tomorrow.” – 17:30

(Address shared by Leonie) – 17:30

 

_Mama_

“Matteo my sunshine, I am happy for you! I would love to meet him. Maybe bring him with you next time you come?” – 17:41

 

Matteo breaks into a smile reading the message, and he quickly types in a reply.

 

_Matteo_

“I would love for you to meet him too, no promises though, he is quite busy at the moment.” – 17:42

 

“What’s up?” David asks, when he notices the change in demeanour as he looks over to Matteo, just as they reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Just my mom wanting me to bring you along to have dinner with her.” Matteo says nonchalantly.

David nearly trips on the first step of the staircase. Matteo reaches out to steady him. He is about to say something when David replies.

“I would love to.”

They are both smiling like idiots when they reach the door of David’s door, Matteo with a slight short-breath, because he never exercises. David knocks at the front door. Matteo is about to ask why he chooses to knock on the door of his own home when the door swings open.

“Why don’t you use your key?” Laura asks when she sees who is at the door, which is the exact same sentiment Matteo has, but pulls David into a hug nonetheless.

“Don’t do that again.” Laura whispers to David. Matteo is not sure if he is supposed to witness this moment that belongs to the siblings at all.

“I’ll try.” David says when he pulls away.

“Are you going to introduce your boyfriend?” She asks David, with a hint of teasing, changing the topic while turning to look at Matteo.

Matteo blushes hard. It is still a bit weird to refer David as his boyfriend, or be referred as David’s boyfriend, especially when this is the first time that he has heard someone say it out loud. He sneaks a glance at David and figures David is not in a much better situation that he is.

“Shut up.” David mutters. “You know him already.” 

“Okay, since my brother knows no manners,” Laura holds her hand out, “Laura, David’s sister.”

David makes a noise of protest when he is described as having no manners, but is totally ignored by Laura.

“Matteo.” He shakes Laura’s hand. “Your brother’s boyfriend?” He says it in such a tone of questioning that makes Laura burst out laughing.

“Sorry…it’s too funny.” Laura gasps out while trying to get her laughter under control, gesturing for both of them to get inside.

Matteo lets go of David’s hand when he smells something wafting out of the kitchen. It is like his second nature, seeking out food. He can hear David following him, then feels David grabbing hold of him like he is an escaping toddler.

“What are we having tonight?” He hears David asking behind him.

“It’s just _shakshuka_ and a few other sides, I didn’t know you’re actually bringing someone home until too late.”

“Nice, and I mean, that is some good food right there, no complaints at all!”

“Of course you’d say that, you like eating it.”

While Matteo enjoys being held from behind by David, he cannot bear being ignored for much longer. He turns around in David’s arms and rubs his nose against David’s. “So what is that?”

“It’s a Middle-Eastern dish, you’d like it. It is usually eaten for breakfast, but it works for dinner too.” David replies, pressing a kiss to the tip of Matteo’s nose and letting go, making his way into the living room. Matteo follows him after a beat, moving out of the way so Laura can get back to the dish.

“Actually, you should try Matteo’s cooking some time.” David yells into the kitchen, just as he flops onto the couch.

Laura pokes her head out of the kitchen at that, and while Matteo knows it all along, it is only now that it hits him that Laura is very much the same Laura who he worked with at that gig all those months ago, when he and David saw each other backstage. How long have they come, even if they really have only properly known each other for much shorter.

“He’s a good cook, you say?” Laura asks. “Then you’ve got a keeper.” Saying that as if Matteo is not in the room, though she addresses Matteo next.

“Make sure you feed him well, because he can’t cook to save his life.”

“Hey!” David protests.

Laura just ducks back into the kitchen, ignoring her brother’s protests. Matteo thinks Laura is not too wide of the mark, considering the fact that he does not recall David ever making food when they are around each other, or so much as talking about making food. He wraps his arms around David.

“I love you even if you can’t cook for shit.” He says with his sly smirk.

“Shut up.” He huffs, turning away halfheartedly.

Eventually, Laura returns to the living room with three servings of what Matteo thinks is the famed _shakshuka_ , which seems to be made from a type of tomato sauce and eggs. Matteo thinks he can smell the scent of various spices and herbs from the dish too. His mouth waters.

Matteo has taken one bite when he decides the food is very delicious. He and Laura fall into conversation about cooking, because he liked the dish so much, and they talk about dishes they like making and somewhere along the line Laura made Matteo promise to make her some of the dishes Matteo talked about some time, which made David make a faux-offended comment of “He’s _MY_ boyfriend”. Matteo may have shuddered at the possessiveness David exhibited at that split second. They eventually stopped talking about cooking, taking pity at David’s inability to cook, and talked about other things, though that mostly involved Laura bullying David in front of Matteo.

“So I guess you guys worked out whatever the problem was between you?” Laura asks, though Matteo can see the question is more directed at David, and also the fact that the two of them are very much communicating nonverbally through looks. David nods and the spell is broken.

“Yeah.” David replies verbally, taking Matteo’s hand lying next to his on the table. Matteo laces their fingers together.

“That’s good. I’m happy for you, David.” Laura says seriously, then she turns to Matteo. “If you hurt him…”

“You’ll punch me or something?” Matteo supplies jokingly. David squeezes his hand.

Laura laughs along. “Something like that.”

“I won’t hurt him, I promise.” Matteo says, though he turns to look at David when he says it. It is a promise to both himself and David. He would not let himself hurt David no matter what.

“I know you won’t.” David replies and smiles at him.

“Idiots.” Laura comments.

That snaps David into action, he turns back towards Laura and asks, “So how is everything going with you, big sister?” He asks innocently. Matteo thinks that is too innocent to be real.

“Oh, same old, just touring a lot…”

“With Linn?”

Did Laura’s face just get a bit redder? And Matteo thinks some dots have just been connected, remembering how seeing Linn becomes a rarer and rarer sight, and how Hans complained Laura kidnapped Linn. Much to think about.

“She is on the band, so of course she is going to be touring as well.”

“Oh yeah?” David pokes. There is a devilish tint to his tone.

“Oh shut up, David.” Laura complains, then starts picking up the dishes, presumably to wash them in the sink and make David drop the topic.

Matteo shares a look with David. Matteo gets the message, so he snaps into action and stands up. His agility makes a rare appearance and beats Laura to the rest of the utensils, and taking the ones Laura is holding out of her hands too.

“I’ll do the cleaning.”

Laura seems to have ideas, and wants to protest about it, though David cuts her off before she even opens her mouth.

“Let Matteo be nice and impress you.” He says teasingly. Laura deflates as she falls back into her chair.

Matteo swears an interrogation is taking place outside while he is washing the dishes in the kitchen. He hears some loud but hushed conversation taking place outside, and picking up words like _Linn_ , _together_ , _touring_ , as well as Laura’s exasperated _David!_ , among other things. David seems to be having the time of his life out there tormenting his sister.

Laura makes David stop talking though, as soon as Matteo steps out of the kitchen.

“I hope you’re not talking about me behind my back?” Matteo jokes.

“I mean, it’s not like Matteo’s not a roommate of Linn’s anyway.” David nonetheless has to have the final word of that particular conversation.

Laura stares at Matteo, then it seems to dawn on her that it was Linn who introduced Matteo to Laura in the first place anyway, she facepalms.

“Right.” She mutters.

Matteo’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

 

_Linn @ WG_

“Won’t be home today. See you tomorrow!” – 20:49

 

Matteo, in the mood of being a little shit, raises his head and asks innocently, “I wonder where Linn is staying tonight.” Then as innocently as he could manage, looks at Laura.

David bursts out laughing.

 

_Hans💃 @ WG_

“Butterfly, I’m flying out to London now, catch you when you’re back 😘” – 20:53

 

Laura is busy assaulting David with a couch pillow when Matteo leans over on the other side and whispers into David’s ear. “So turns out no one is in the WG tonight.”

David pauses dodging from Laura’s attacks and get smacked right in the face.

He is not fazed though, raising his eyebrows at Matteo, tilting his head slightly, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yes.”

“Great idea.” He says with a smirk, then plucks the pillow out of Laura’s hands. He then announces to Laura, “Since you are going to be… _busy_ …tonight, I’m going to give you some space.”

“What!” Laura yells indignantly.

David just laughs as grabs his bag and goes into what Matteo presumes to be his room.

“You’re good for him.” Laura says, when Matteo sits down next to her.

“I hope I am. He is good for me too.”

Laura just punches his shoulder, as David comes back with the bag in his hand, having quickly changed his clothes.

“We’re going.” David announces, as he goes to pull Matteo up from the couch.

“Thanks for the dinner.” Matteo, still trying to be polite, says to Laura.

“I’m holding you to the promises of your cooking.”

As they reach for the door, Laura holds the shoulder of David, who turns back to look at her.

“Use protection.” She says with a straight face, then runs back in the direction of the living room when David lets go of Matteo and reaches out to punch her.

Matteo blushes.

David rolls his eyes. “Bye.” He yells in her general direction.

They walk back to the car hand in hand, David throwing his bag back into the trunk next to Matteo’s and settles into the passenger seat.

Matteo receives a text message as he is about to get into the driver’s seat.

 

_Your car is has arrived at Berlin. Pick-up point: (Address). Reference code: 42069_

 

“Your car is in Berlin.” Matteo tells David as he buckles himself up and starts the car. 

“That’s quick. I’ll pick it up tomorrow maybe.”

“Let me send you a copy of the message.” 

They drive to Matteo’s home in silence, both of them quite drained by a whole day’s driving and the excitement in Laura’s flat wearing out.

 

* * *

 

_Dienstag 21:13_

 

It is a short drive, and Matteo parks the car in his usual spot on the street and leads David to the building where the WG is located. Their hands are entwined from the moment they get out of the car, right until they have finished climbing the flight of stairs and stopping in front of the door. Matteo only lets go to unlock and open the door. 

“Hello?” Matteo yells into the WG when they enter. No one answers, expectedly.

“Nice.” Matteo mumbles to himself.

He turns around as David tugs him, who draws him into a kiss.

“Will you show me the place you live, Mr. Florenzi?”

“It is messy, but I will, Mr. Schreibner.”

He leads David into his room, both of them leaving their bags by the door. Matteo neglected to flick the switch to turn on the lights, and in the dim lighting provided by the sunset, Matteo sees David slowly turning in his room, taking in the surroundings. Eventually he meets Matteo’s eyes again.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

David draws Matteo into another kiss, still soft, but with a bit more urgency. David maneuvers him so that he is walking backwards, until his legs hits the foot of his bed.

They have a good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have news - As of today, I have finished writing the whole fic :)  
> I will try to restrain myself and not post them all in one go lmao
> 
> As always, please comment !


	13. "Like before."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and unedited.

**30 August 2023**  

_Mittwoch 08:41_

 

David wakes up to a ray of sunlight hitting his face through the window. He turns his head and lifts his phone to look at the time. It is 08:41. He has set his alarm for 9 am, just in case he somehow failed to wake up for his morning run, to make sure at least he would have enough time to get to the meeting with the film crew. 

Unsurprisingly, he has yet again failed to wake up on his own accord for his morning run. Being around Matteo means he has some of his most restful sleep in years, so far, that means no more waking up at ungodly hours. He feels bad for himself though, doing away with his morning run for several days straight, and promises himself he would start running again sometime soon, just for health’s sake, and not because he does not like just staying in bed wrapped around Matteo.

Speaking of Matteo, there is a weight half on top of him, as he sees a mop of blond hair right up against his face when he tries to look down. Matteo has once again found himself cuddling into David in his sleep. David thinks he can get used to this as he wraps his arms around Matteo’s torso, pulling him closer. Okay, there is the fact that they are at a certain state of undress, but that is not the main point. He thinks he can get used to waking up to Matteo next to him every day, and having him in his life in general. He feels safe and home right here.

He runs his fingers through the messy blond hair mindlessly. He remembers how he wanted to touch his hair when he first saw him at Laura’s gig, and it is still surreal how he gets to do it now. He unconsciously wraps his other arm around Matteo’s shoulders securely. His five senses are all predominantly _Matteo_. He sees Matteo in front of him; he hears Matteo’s soft snoring, lying half on top of him; he can smell the scent of Matteo, as he nuzzles his nose against Matteo’s hair; he presses a kiss on Matteo’s forehead and tastes Matteo; and he keeps running his fingers through his hair, feeling him. He loves everything about it. He loves Matteo and he cannot fathom he actually has him right there, in his arms.

Matteo stirs, though he is still very much relaxed with David’s ministrations. He still has his eyes closed, when he starts nuzzling into David’s neck, pressing kisses there. David loves this.

“Morning.” David turns his head and presses a kiss to the shell of Matteo’s ear, causing him to shudder.

“G’morning.”

“We should probably get going soon. I have a meeting for the film.”

“Don’t you mean we?” Matteo mumbles against his neck, unmoving. If anything, he relaxes further on top of David to keep him in place.

David smiles at that. “You can come if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.”

David jostles Matteo, trying to move him out of the way.

“Then we should move.”

“Can’t we stay here for a bit longer?” Matteo complains, though he rolls out of the way.

David is already out of the bed, searching for the change of clothes he has put into his gym bag the night prior, “I would want to have breakfast before I get there.”

From his spot on the bed, starfishing, Matteo yells at the ceiling, “There _is_ breakfast in bed!”

David snaps his head towards the bed, growing redder by the moment. “ _Matteo!_ ”

Matteo just giggles as he gets up from the bed, raising his hands “Okay, okay.”

“You and your food kink. Name a more iconic duo.”

Matteo barks out a laugh from where he is in front of his dresser, looking for something to wear. “That’s slander!”

David just ignores him and finishes dressing himself in his trademark all black outfit, as well as putting on his hipster glasses.

“Do you even need to wear glasses?” Matteo asks while he slides up next to him, still topless but wearing a pair of jeans that actually fits.

So David did not hallucinate after all, the evening when Matteo showed up dressed in properly fitting clothes at the Tiergarten.

Matteo ends up picking up a loose grey t-shirt. David rolls his eyes. Just as he is internally complimenting his choice of a proper-fitting pair of pants, Matteo and his wardrobe of loose clothes strike again.

“Is it important?” David answers, while Matteo is pulling on the t-shirt.

“I know you wear it just for your hipster aesthetics.” Matteo’s voice is muffled.

“Whatever you say.” David mutters, stalking his way out of Matteo’s room into the living room.

“You know I’m right!” Matteo yells after him.

Matteo wraps his arms around him from the back when they are at the front door, properly dressed and ready to head out.

“Back to real life?”

David covers his hands over Matteo’s, and says, partly to Matteo and partly to himself. “This is real life.”

 

* * *

 

Matteo drives them to a place in the outskirts of the city, a location which David has plugged into the GPS, for the crew meeting for David’s film. They have stopped at a café on the way, getting coffee and cake to go so they can have some food on the way there, or rather, David can eat in the passenger seat, and Matteo attempting to eat a mouthful here and there whenever they stop at a red light. 

David reaches over to wipe the corner of Matteo’s mouth with a finger, when they pull to the curb outside the building where David is bringing them to, cleaning some fragments of the cake stuck to his mouth.

“Messy.” David comments.

“Ass. I was trying to eat while driving.” Matteo mutters.

David does not even acknowledge that, just hopping out of the car and opening the trunk to retrieve his bag.

Matteo huffs and follows him out of the car, locking it and following David towards the building. He takes hold of David’s hand when he catches up. David looks over and smiles at him, as they intertwine their fingers. Matteo cannot help but smile back at David.

They make their way up a narrow staircase to the second floor of this building that is slightly out of the way even in the outskirts of Berlin. David lets go of his hand to open the door. 

Matteo surveys his surroundings. It is a small office, but there is so much open space in it. The corner diagonal to the entrance is walled off as a room, which Matteo assumes is an office of sorts. There is a long table in front of Matteo, with multiple chairs around it, which seems to be used for meetings for David’s film crew. There is a makeshift pantry against the far wall, with various snacks and drinks piled on it, a sink and a refrigerator in the corner of the room. There are various boards stacked against the wall of the corner office, and windows lining that wall, and there are two people…

It is only now Matteo realises they are not alone. Sara and Leonie are leaning against the windows next to the boards on wheels, seemingly previously deep in conversation, though at this moment, they are starting at David and Matteo, seemingly surprised. Matteo shifts under their stare. Then he sees Sara’s eyes widen, when she spots something, turning over to Leonie to whisper something in her ear.

Matteo belatedly realises David has taken hold of his hand again some time between opening the door and him spotting Leonie and Sara.

“O-kay.” Leonie lets out, raising an eyebrow at them.

“What.” David shoots back, dragging Matteo along towards the corner office. Matteo sees Sara wiggling her eyebrows to Leonie.

“Care to explain yourselves?” Leonie asks.

“No.” David replies.

David lets go of Matteo, setting his bag down in a chair in the office, taking out his laptop, then heading back out into the open space, placing the laptop at the head of the table, then plopping down into the seat. He gestures for Matteo to sit down next to him, he complies easily.

Leonie and Sara move from their perch by the window, both of them sitting down at the table. Leonie next to David, and Sara next to her. They are still very much interested in what they have just witnessed.

“Did you elope or something?” Sara pokes.

“No! I hate you two sometimes. We are together, okay? Happy?” David says, exasperated and flustered.

Matteo’s cannot help but smile when David says they are together. It is one thing to know that it is true, it is another thing to hear it being said out loud.

“Aw, David is in love.” Sara coos.

“I guess you just won’t tell us why both of you disappeared for a week.” Leonie raises her eyebrows. “I’m happy for you both though.”

David makes an annoyed sound, but Matteo can see a smile tugging at his lips.

“I will strangle you if you hurt David.” Sara says pointedly at Matteo.

“You can strangle me for a lot of things.” Matteo half-jokes back at Sara.

David reaches over to squeeze his hand, looking at Matteo.

“Oh shut it right there. We’ve been over this.” Sara rolls her eyes.

The door opens at this moment, as a few crew members start arriving, and the four of them drop the topic, instead sitting around and let themselves to be pulled into conversations with the crew members. As the clock nears 10, people start filing in more and more frequently. Matteo thinks it is a miracle that so many people can fit into the room, though a good amount of them are standing, or leaning against the long workbench next to the door, and chatting with one another, waiting for the meeting to start.

It’s 09:59 when Matteo sees Jonas appearing at the door, making his way towards the table. The only seat still open is the one next to Matteo. Jonas stops short when he sees Matteo here, which is fair, given the last time he talked to Jonas about the film, he told him he does not want to be here anymore. Jonas recovers quickly though, closing the remaining distance, holding out a fist for Matteo to bump as he pulls out the chair to sit down.

“You doing good, Luigi?”

“A lot better than before.” Matteo replies, and it is true, he is more content about everything right now than before, especially now that he really has David in his life. It is still early days but he is very happy about the fact that he can call David his boyfriend and he feels like his life is brighter and more colouful.

He sees Jonas raising his eyebrows, subtly nodding towards David in question. Matteo remembers the snapchat picture he sleepily sent to Jonas back when he was in Heidelberg. He might have confused the shit out of Jonas.

“I’ll tell you later.” He tells Jonas, while David is now deep in conversation with Leonie on his other side, presumably about something related to the filming.

The clock hits 10 am. David clears his throat to gain the attention of the people in the room.

“Okay…Hey everyone, sorry about the abrupt cancellation for last week’s filming, I had something to figure out. I am back now, and as far as I can tell we are still more or less on target with our production schedule, as I see the editors have made some progress with the material we have so far – I will cover that later. We will also talk about scheduling and go over some of the upcoming scenes that we are going to film, just as a refresher to what we are going to do…”

“One more thing though, I have done some thinking about the script, and I have decided to swap out the final scenes for something else, in fact…” he pauses to click at something on his laptop, “I have just sent it out right now. Filming wise it is not a big change, because we haven’t done anything in relation to the original scenes yet, but I have changed it out for something new to make the story a bit _different_.”

Matteo’s phone pings, he sees that David has included him in the list of recipients for the emails. He does not really read the scripts, because he prefers to see the final product, or at least the filming process, though he is intrigued by it, because he wants to know where they will go for filming. He thought the person who picked the places for filming has a good taste, and when he figured out that said person is David, he is more interested than ever before about this.

His eyes widen when he sees, near the end, a familiar place attached to a scene.

 

_Abandoned Military Base, Wünsdorf_

 

David has decided to add _their place_ into the film, even though no one, except for the two of them, will know what it means. It still makes his heart swell, to think David have made the change to include this place. He is very tempted to read about the scene, but in the end manages to not give in to the temptation. 

He raises his head from the phone, he can hear Leonie talking about scheduling to the crew, and about making up ground on filming, bringing in energy and fresh impetus to filming after the spontaneous break week they enjoyed and everything, then some person Matteo does not recognise updating everyone about the editing of the film, and David giving some feedback on the work. Matteo does not really pay much attention to the actual conversation, instead letting his eyes wander, observing everyone in the room, most of which are faces he has seen on set. He just sits there next to David, enjoying the company despite the fact that most of the conversation is not of interest to him.

His ears prick up though, when he hears the lead sound engineer speaking up. While Matteo is still adamant he is not a sound engineer, he nevertheless picks up the pen laid in front of him and scribbles a few notes and pointers about the sound arrangements for the upcoming scenes that he has picked up from what the person has said, with little comments and opinions here and there on how Matteo would have done it, and slides it next to him to David.

David takes a quick skim at the piece of paper, while still nodding at the right places to signal to the people speaking, by now alternated to another person who Matteo does not recognise, that he is paying attention. After a moment, he puts Matteo’s paper on top of the pile of his notes. David then quickly scribbles on the piece of scrap paper that he has not used, because he uses his own notes, and slides it back to Matteo.

 

 _Got it, thanks_ x

_By the way, I need to run some errands later (and pick up my car). I’ll see you tonight?_

 

Matteo smiles to himself secretly, he writes down a reply and slides it back.

 

 _Sure, text me_ xx

 

The paper comes back to him quickly.

 

 _I will_ xx

 

He folds the piece of paper and puts it into his pocket, when he sees Leonie nudging David on the other side and rolling his eyes at him. Matteo feels like he is a teenage kid once again, with their antics.

Eventually, David wraps up the meeting and lets everyone go. David has just stood up, when he leans over to Matteo to whisper, “see you tonight”, and with that he pops into the office to retrieve the bag, and soon after he is leaving with Leonie and Sara.

Matteo has a dumb smile on his face, when Jonas startles him out of his trance next to him.

He punches Matteo’s shoulder lightly. “What was that?”

Matteo, partly playing dumb and partly confused, replies “What was what?”

To be fair, Jonas question could really mean anything. Why did Matteo disappear? What happened to David? Why did Matteo say he does not want to come anymore but shows up nonetheless? What happened _with_ David? Why does Matteo look like an idiot after David whispering something to him?

Jonas rolls his eyes and stands up. “Let’s get food. Dürum?”

“Sounds good. I’ll drive us.”

 

* * *

 

_Mittwoch 13:28_

 

Matteo drives them back to the park where they used to meet up from time to time when they were still high school students. The dürum stand that they used to frequent is still there. Matteo goes and buys for both of them, before settling down on a bench together, both with a dürum in hand. 

“So. David.” Jonas starts, after a few bites into the food. It is still as good as Matteo remembers it to be. He has always liked the food from this stand. In part also due to the sentimental value he attaches to it, among other things, it is the same food when he opens up to Jonas about his depression, then when he came out to Jonas, and also when he talked to Jonas about his role in Hanna and Jonas’ breakup.

“What about him?”

“I’m pretty sure that was his arm in that picture you sent me in Snapchat.”

“What Snapchat?” Matteo feigns innocence, before continuing, “You’re not wrong.”

“What’s going on now?”

“A lot happened – ”

“I can tell.”

Matteo rolls his eyes.

“The long and short of it is that, he’s my boyfriend.” Matteo says nonchalantly.

Jonas chokes on the food next to him. Matteo reaches out to rub his back with his free hand.

“What – what the fuck?” Jonas asks, still choking.

“Yes, thank you, Jonas, forever the supportive brother.” Matteo says sarcastically.

“No, yes. No, what? Are you serious?”

Matteo rolls his eyes. “No, I just say that to bring more suffering upon myself.” Dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh thank god, finally.”

“Finally what?”

“That you finally stopped with your happily single bullshit?"

Matteo just rolls his eyes.

“You’re happy, yeah?”

“Very. I didn’t think this would’ve happened at all.” He smiles a little.

Jonas raises his dürum to toast Matteo, they clink dürums.

“David, huh? You really went big on this.”

“I just like him because he is him.”

“Gross.” Jonas makes a retching sound.

Matteo just ignores him while he continues munching on his food. He should learn how to make this, if possible.

“So, what really happened?” Jonas asks.

“I ran into him halfway across the country. Then we confessed and everything?”

“Poetic. Next thing you know he’ll make it into a movie or something.”

“You wish. Idiot.”

They fall back into momentary silence as they both take a few bites out of their food, before Jonas starts again.

“Anyway. Do you feel like hosting a meetup anytime soon? It’s been a while, I feel.”

“It’s just two weeks, but maybe some time next month will work. By then it’ll be like a month since anyway.”

“Maybe you can bring along your boyfriend then.” Jonas wiggles his eyebrows.

“Oh shut up.”

They went together to pick up Hanna from work, and Matteo third-wheeled his way into their afternoon together, all the way into their supper date that evening, just like he did all those years ago, when they were still but high school kids.

 

* * *

 

_Mittwoch 18:41_

 

Matteo is leaving the restaurant, finally leaving Jonas and Hanna alone, after tormenting them for the whole afternoon, though that also involved Matteo becoming chauffeur for the two of them. Over dinner, Hanna was elated to hear that Matteo is no longer single and told him that he deserved it. She also made Matteo promise to let them meet his boyfriend sometime soon, given his reluctance to say more about who this person who managed to capture his heart is. He rolled his eyes but agreed to it nonetheless. 

Just as he is about to unlock his car, his phone vibrates.

 

_David_

“Come to mine?” – 18:42

 

_Matteo F._

“Sure.” – 18:43

“I had dinner with Jonas.” – 18:43

 

He settles into his car.

 

_David_

“I’m eating with Laura rn” – 18:45

“Just come.” – 18:45

 

_Matteo F._

“Omw” – 18:46

 

He turns on the ignition and drives in the direction of David’s flat.

 

* * *

 

_Mittwoch 19:15_

 

David pulls Matteo into a hug as soon as he opens the door for him. 

“I’ve missed you.” Matteo murmured as he rests his head on David’s shoulder.

“It’s only been like 6 hours.” David chuckles, “but I’ve missed you too. We’re that bad, huh?”

“Yeah.” Matteo smiles as he pulls back.

David leads him into the flat, Laura has seemingly retired into her room already, as David peels off into the kitchen, to wash the dishes, as Matteo sees it when he follows, instead of going into the living room. He wraps his arms around David’s waist and rests his chin against his shoulder, while he washes the dishes.

“So how’s your afternoon?”

“I had lunch with Leonie and Sara…”

“Okay.”

“Got my car.”

Matteo hums.

“Then I went to my therapist.”

Matteo unconsciously tightens his arms around David. “Is everything okay?”

David pats Matteo’s arm with his wet hand. “Yeah. We just talked a bit…about things. Had to catch up with her for a bit since it had been a while since I last went there.”

“Hm. Okay.” As he disentangles himself to allow David to finish up.

David fixes up two cups of tea while he is at it, and they settle on the couch. They put on another one of those indie films that David has been talking about on the television while they drank their tea, Matteo leaning heavily against David’s side.

“I think I need to focus on Peach for a while.” Matteo whispers, halfway through the film.

“That’s okay, that should be your focus. Don’t you have something to release this fall?”

“Yeah, I know. I just, want to be around you.”

Matteo feels David drawing him in even closer.

“We can always meet whenever we can. Like before?”

“Like before.” Matteo agrees.

“Actually,” David pauses the film on screen. “Do you have anywhere to be tomorrow?”

“I don’t think so? What are you suggesting?” Matteo raises his eyebrows.

“Well, you have to find out.” David says while tilting his head, getting up and heading into his room. Matteo follows.

They do not leave the flat for the next day. They laze around the flat a lot, particularly in David’s bed, spending most of the day tangled together. As an afterthought, when Laura returns in the evening, Matteo fulfills his promise to her and made Pasta a la Luigi for both Laura and David as their dinner.

David pulls him back into his room as soon as they finish the dinner, leaving Laura to clean up after them, though she said nothing about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment :)


	14. “You’re a godsend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and unedited.

**1 September 2023**

_Freitag 10:41_

 

Matteo was reluctant to get out of bed in the morning, but David all but kicked him out of bed when he woke up, then he has a change of David’s clothes thrown in his face. The next thing he knows he is sat in the living room, with Laura serving a few pieces of pancakes in front of him, with David next to him. Matteo was bordering on sleepwalking while the siblings squabbled away next to him, when David commented on how much fluffier Matteo’s pancakes were than Laura’s. 

By the time he properly wakes up, David was already long gone, going to the filming for his film. Laura pushed another cup of coffee into his hand before she disappeared somewhere in the flat, only to see him off when Matteo finally was awake enough to drive his car to work – since he did not have his bicycle with him and he did not particularly feel like walking.

When he finally shows up at the office, no one even bat an eyelid, given Matteo’s tendency to just fall off the face of the earth, and how he still manages to participate in things remotely, so he just slots back into work nearly seamlessly, though he is greeted with a large pile of reports stacked at the corner of his desk, waiting for him. The desk plant on the desk is also looking a bit dry, so he goes into the pantry in search for a cup of water first thing.

He has spent most of the morning looking into the stack of reports on his desk, mostly feedbacks from the beta of the game, which includes specific reviews on the latest changes implemented into it. He can see most of the reviews are positive, though there are still some things that need to be fleshed out before they could be considered ready for a release.

He looks into his emails, which he has neglected to look into yesterday, for _reasons_ , and sees there is a lot that is waiting for him, though some of them involve the response to the reports by the developers working under him, and Matteo tries to send out replies as much as he can before he has to waste away his afternoon in meetings.

He has just finished with the emails when he sees there is a message waiting for him on his phone.

 

_David_

“Have you eaten well?” – 13:41

 

Matteo evidently has not, he is not even aware it is nearly 2 pm before he sees the message from his boyfriend. He stands up from his desk and heads for the pantry in search of food, while typing out a response to David’s text.

 

_Matteo F._

“Have YOU eaten well?” – 13:45

“I have lost track of time, I will get food now.” – 13:45

 

_David_

“Good. I am having lunch now.” – 13:46

“Jonas is very excited.” – 13:46

 

_Matteo F._

“Jonas is likeable.” – 13:48

 

Matteo puts his phone back in his pocket and rounds the corner into the pantry to make himself a sandwich. He swears it is not intentional that he ended up making the same sandwich he made for David the last time he was here. Matteo smiles at the memory. He sends a picture of the sandwich to David, who replies with a smiley.

Just as he finished the sandwich, he is pulled into the conference room by his staff, and he spends the whole afternoon stuck in his plush seat around the table, sitting in meetings of the programmers, then artists, then the core developer team discussing the progress of the company’s projects, then even marketing. It is as if everyone wants a bit of his time, now that he is back at work, and Matteo guesses it is not that far away from the truth, given he has been absent for nearly two weeks. At least no one said something that is particularly dumb that irritates him, so it is a bit more bearable.

 

* * *

 

_Freitag 17:47_

 

He lets out a sigh of relief when he finally walks back into his own office, stretching himself, making sure his back has not morphed into the shape of the seat in the conference room.

He settles back in his own seat and resolves to go through the rest of the pile of reports on his desk. He might as well get it over with while he still feels energetic. By the time he is nearly done with his backlog, he can see from the windows behind him that it is nearing sunset. He looks at his clock – it is nearly 8 pm. The days are getting shorter, now that summer is over, and fall is around the corner. 

He looks out of the glass wall of his office into the main office space, and he sees several programmers are still working away at their work stations, though most of the other staff have left by now. It is after all crunch time for the development of the new game. He hears his phone buzzing, from where he has left it on the loveseat. He does not remember how it gets there but goes over to pick it up.

There are, in fact, several messages waiting for him.

 

_Leonie @ We are actually filming_

“Are we extending to do the evening scenes?” – 16:33

 

_Jonas @ ok.cool._

“Boys, drinks at the corner tonight?” – 17:01

 

_Carlos @ ok.cool._

“I’m down!.” – 17:12

 

_Abdi @ ok.cool._

“Yes!” – 17:14

“Luigi?” – 17:14

 

_Jonas @ ok.cool._

“Let’s meet at 21 then!” – 17:22

“Luigi might be busy working? Text us when you see this.” – 17:23

 

_David_

“Doing some night filming today, see you tomorrow?” – 19:57

 

He would be lying if he says he does not miss David, but he can deal with it, given both him and David are busy and likely need to catch up on the lost time on their respective work, plus Matteo can also do with some catching up with the boys. He has not seen Carlos and Abdi in a while. But isn’t Jonas supposed to be filming as well?

 

_Matteo F._

“Sure, I have some more things to work on too.” – 19:59

“I assume Jonas is not involved in the night filming?” – 20:00

 

_David_

“Yeah, he left at like 17.” – 20:01

 

That explains things.

 

_Matteo F._

“He is inviting the boys to drink, I might join him.” – 20:02

 

_David_

“Cool, Have fun for me!” – 20:02

 

He decides he will join the boys after all.

 

_Matteo @ ok.cool._

“Still have some work to catch up on, will try to make it.” – 20:04

“Most likely late, I drove my car to work today.” – 20:04

 

_Jonas @ ok.cool._

“You never drive to work.” – 20:04

“Is it what I’m thinking? 👀” – 20:05

 

Matteo throws his phone back on his couch and ignores it, getting back to the remaining reports he wants to finish before he heads out for the day. He knows Jonas is most likely connecting some dots and he will not hear the end of it when he eventually arrives there.

He ends up driving back to his own place to change for a set of clothes and making the short walk to where they are meeting up. The boys pulling Matteo into a hug one by one when they see him.

Matteo beats Jonas to whatever he was going to say when he meets up with the boys, telling them that he is now very much taken, though he refuses to tell them who the person is. Jonas bites his tongue and does not say anything about it. They just have a good night together all around, catching up with how everyone is doing at the moment. Carlos having some more of his clients getting into the mainstream, though a lot are still engaging in dumbass antics; while Abdi has gotten some more stand-up comedy gigs which Matteo is sure the attraction is Abdi being the comedy itself. Jonas on the other hand, has the EP that Matteo has helped sound engineer in the works, and he breaks the news that it would be released by the end of the year. The boys toast to that, and may have gotten a bit too tipsy for their own good, considering they are drinking outside instead of at the WG or anyone’s house.

Matteo still manages to head back to the WG in one piece that night.

 

* * *

 

**4 September 2023**  

_Montag 18:23_

 

Matteo checks out his outfit once again in the mirror. His outfit fits well, but he is inclined to change out his shirt once again, he makes it to his dresser, when David, who has observed him doing this several times already, finally speaks up from where he is seated on the bean bag in Matteo’s room. He is effortless in his outfit as always, but he dresses in dark colors 99% of the time anyway. 

“You don’t put in that much effort for me.” Eyeing the pile of clothes Matteo has changed back out of, looking back at Matteo and tilting his head.

“I sometimes do.”

“Yeah, sometimes. Seriously, it’s just your mother. Don’t be so nervous.”

Matteo slumps down on top of David, who wraps his arms around him.

“It’s just, I’ve never brought anyone home.”

“Everything is going to be fine.”

“Did I tell you about her?”

“Yes, you did. She’s doing much better now and she loves you.”

“Okay.” Matteo relaxes against David.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Matteo gets back on his feet.

“Let’s get going." 

David follows him out. Somehow, so far David still has not yet run into any of Matteo’s roommates every time he is over, though it is not really _that_ many times.

David suggested they take the bus instead of driving, and Matteo agreed because he really does not feel like driving, plus it is not such a long distance to get there anyway.

David holds Matteo’s hand all the way there, including the once-familiar walk from the bus stop to the place where Matteo once called home. It is still home, to be fair, but just not where he lives anymore for the past few years. He only comes back occasionally to visit his mother.

David squeezes his hand as they walk up to the door. Matteo squeezes back. He raises his hand to ring the doorbell.

But Matteo is getting cold feet and feels a panic rising in his chest over the whole thing. David senses it though, and he pulls Matteo close, holding him by his sides.

“It’s going to be okay.” David says with conviction. “Breathe with me.”

Matteo focuses on David’s breathing, timing it with his own, as he calms himself down after a few minutes. It is not something dramatic, but he cannot help but be a bit embarrassed by it. He ducks his head. “I’m sorry."

“Hey, it’s okay.” David runs his fingers against Matteo’s face. “Are you okay?”

He takes another deep breath, “Yes.”

Then he presses the doorbell. David rests his hand against Matteo’s lower back, steadying him. A few short moments later, the door swings open, and his mother comes into view. There is a wide smile on her face.

“Hi Matteo, my darling. I missed you.” She says as she pulls Matteo into a hug. Matteo hugs back. _Everything is going to be okay._

“Hi mama, it’s been a while.” He replies, as he pulls away.

“You must be David.” She turns her attention to David, pulling him into a hug as well. David looks surprised at how passionate his mother is, but he hugs back nonetheless.

“Please, come in!” She invites them into the house, “I have goulash in the oven. It will be ready soon.”

Matteo takes David’s hand again as they walk into the house. He is familiar with the house, given this is where he grew up, and he has been visiting sporadically to have dinner with his mother. Though he is still worried if David would feel an unease in here, or whether he would get along with his mother.

His worries are dispelled though, when his mother pulls David into conversation over dinner, as if he has always been there, learning about what he does and his passions, and David seems to be quite at home talking about filmmaking, drawing and everything he likes. David likewise, makes conversation with Matteo’s mother, and the two of them get along really well. Matteo mostly stays quieter than them, only joining in when either of them asks him something specifically. He is content observing his mother and his boyfriend interacting.

When they part for the night, his mother pulls him aside, while David is pulling on his shoes in the corridor.

“I really like him. I am happy for you, Matteo.”

Matteo smiles genuinely. “I love him.”

“Bring him along next time you come too?” She suggests.

“We’ll see, we’re both quite busy at the moment.”

“Of course, I really mean it though.”

They hug again when they part.

 

* * *

 

_Montag 22:43_

 

They go back to David’s for the night, both staying silent on the bus ride, processing how the night has gone. Matteo leans heavily into David’s side as he drifts off to sleep. David only wakes him up when they get to their stop. 

“That went well.” David comments, when they finally settle down in David’s room.

“She likes you very much.” Matteo tells David.

David pulls him into a hug. “That’s good. I told you everything would go well.”

“She has invited you back already.” Matteo says while yawning.

“Well, let me know when you’re going back again. Now, let’s get you to bed first, sleepy head.”

 

* * *

 

**8 September 2023**  

_Freitag 14:18_

 

Matteo is excited. The latest version of the game came through, and from the beta testers’ feedback, it seems the game is ready for release come November. He has just spent the past half-hour trying out the game to get a feeling of the game for himself. 

The office though, is still working with full steam, given the fact that game development never truly stops, and also the fact that _Peach_ is also developing other projects at the same time. He looks at the time on his phone, realising it is already way past lunchtime. He is about to head to the pantry in search of food when he hears someone opening the door to his office.

He spins around, ready to repel the invasion, when he realises it is David.

Instead of greeting him, David raises a takeout bag in his direction. _He has brought food_.

David sets the bag down on the coffee table, then heads over to flick the switch by the door, turning the glass paneling opaque.

“Hi, Mr. Florenzi.” He finally greets, when he turns around, closing the distance to Matteo.

“Hey.” Matteo rests a hand on David’s waist. “How did you know I need food?”

“Because you always ask if I have eaten well, but if you are at work, most of the time you forget about food, even if you love eating very much?” David supplies, tilting his head when he finishes.

 

_Am I right or am I right?_ He asks Matteo silently.

 

“You’re a godsend.” Matteo nuzzles his nose against David’s, then goes to take out the containers. “This is Thai, isn’t it?”

“Yep, it’s the place where Leonie and Sara used to go to when we were in university. It’s quite good.”

They sit down on the loveseat this time, side by side, as they dig into the food.

“How’s work today? You seem happy.”

“The new game I was talking about is more or less ready.

“That’s nice.” David says, after he has swallowed a bite of the food. “Congratulations.”

“The work never ends though, there is always the next game.” Matteo gestures vaguely with his chopsticks.

 

* * *

 

“How’s the filming? I miss being there.” Matteo continues. 

“I miss you being there too.” David nudges Matteo in the side. “But it’s been going well, we made some good progress overall I think, though there is bound to be some reshoots needed here and there. I think we might actually do a reshoot early next week.”

“That sounds fun.” Matteo remarks drily.

“Oh well, the glamour of being a director.” David quips. “We are seeing light at the end of the tunnel though, I think we can wrap it up the end of next month.”

“And there will be time for you to rest?” _Before you_ _go into surgery?_

“Most likely.”

“Cool.” Matteo says.

Matteo finishes up his takeaway lunch before he says something else again.

“Oh, by the way, I am hosting a meetup with my group of friends next Friday. Do you want to come along?”

Matteo adds, “I know there’ll be a few new people, so I can understand if you don’t want to.”

“As your boyfriend?”

“As my boyfriend.” Matteo smiles.

“It is just a low-key friends gathering?”

If these are the people Matteo loves, then David will make the effort to get to know them and decide for himself if he likes them too.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll come.”

Matteo’s smile widens, he pecks David on the mouth. David chases his mouth for another kiss, ending up straddling Matteo on the loveseat.

“Are you busy this afternoon, Mr. Florenzi?” David asks, you can only barely fit a piece of paper between their faces.

“Well, you see…I have my hands full right now.”

“Hm, what a pity.” As David presses another kiss onto Matteo.

They just lazily made out in the office for a while, neither of them making this exchange any more explicit, the opaque glass paneling though, really comes in handy for situations like these.

They eventually pull apart when Matteo’s computer chimes, and he sighs to look at whatever is demanding his attention right now so much that he has to stop kissing David.

“I missed you.” He whispers to David. They have not seen each other aside from a few rushed meal dates since Monday. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.” David promises, as he tries to cool himself down for a moment, then slips back out of the office, leaving Matteo to his own devices.

 

* * *

 

**15 September 2023**  

_Freitag 18:53_

 

David would be lying if he says he is not at least a little bit nervous. It is understandable, after all, it is to be expected when you are going to meet a group of people who all have known each other for years before you come into the picture. 

Matteo has told him they would not be meeting until half-past seven, though the two of them have met up as soon as Matteo left his office so they could shop for supplies together, which entailed moving crates of beer and bags of snacks into the trunk of Matteo’s Audi car and lugging them back to his flat.

While David works out regularly, it does not help matters when you have to walk back and forth to carry crates of beer, and that your supplies-moving partner never exercises and has the strength of a _single piece of overcooked spaghetti_. That is why when they finally finish moving the supplies into the kitchen, David all but collapsed against the wall in the corridor while he leaves Matteo to sort out the supplies and stock them in the right places. He has just got his breathing back under control when someone walks into the corridor.

“Oh, hi David.”

It’s Linn.

“Hey.” he waves his hand feebly in her direction, as Linn walks towards the kitchen.

Right at this moment, another person, a guy with short hair pops his head into the corridor.

“Linn, who’s that lost soul on our floor?”

“It’s David.”

“David?” The guy says, while Matteo finishes stocking the beer into the fridge, David can see Matteo rolling his eyes.

“Laura’s brother.”

“What is he doing here?” The guy asks. Matteo is now looking at David, raising his eyebrows, silently asking the question.

David nods.

Matteo pokes his head out of the kitchen. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Then he proceeds to walk out of the kitchen, reaching out to pull David onto his feet.

“He’s Hans, by the way.” Matteo points at the guy, while he is gaping at them.

David recognises the name, Matteo has talked about him when he was talking about his roommates. Hans is the economist that is also a rights activist and self-declared…

He is somehow now next to them. “Where are my manners. Hans Brecht. Matteo’s gay guru.” Reaching his hand out, David shakes it. Matteo just rolls his eyes next to them.

“David Schreibner.”

“Are you going to kidnap my butterfly like your sister did to Linn?” Hans says accusingly.

“Hans.” Matteo sighs.

The four of them settle down on the couch, Hans all but _grilling_ David about himself, though Matteo often gets annoyed about his questioning and groans and gets David to ignore Hans. He is fond about it though, David can tell, and that Hans cares about Matteo very much. Linn just sits there stock still whenever Hans brings up his sister, as if just by doing that she can defer anything Hans has to say about Laura to David. It is amusing, really, how obvious there is _something_ going on between Linn and Laura.

They are interrupted from munching from a bag of chips and talking about how Hans is a boring economist, or rather Matteo shading Hans in revenge of him grilling the two of them, when the doorbell buzzes.

Matteo goes to open the door, and David can hear commotion from the direction of the door.

David can see a familiar face, Carlos, marching right in with a blond girl following him, then another three people, and finally Matteo trailing the group.

Carlos is looking back at Matteo. “…going to introduce us to your boyfriend?”, to which Matteo only raises his eyebrows at Carlos and shrugs.

He stops dead in his tracks when he looks back forward, his mouth hanging open. The girl next to him pushes his mouth back into place.

“David?”

“Yes, hi.” David waves back at Carlos, amusedly.

Matteo ignores the group of people stood at the entrance to the living room and goes back to the couch, snuggling up to David. He instinctively wraps an arm around Matteo’s middle.

“Wait, what?” Carlos’ jaw dropped to the floor again

“Isn’t that David Schreibner?” The blond girl asks.

In lieu of properly introducing everyone, Matteo, from where he is leaned against David, points backwards with his thumb at David, then said, “boyfriend.”

Then he starts pointing at the group of people in front of them, pointing at Carlos “idiot.” Then proceeds with the other people. “Kiki, Amira, Abdi, Sam.”

“Where is Mohammed by the way?” David hears Matteo asking one of the people.

“He is busy, he might join later.” The person, Amira, replies.

Hans proceeded to herd the guests around to get them to grab their drinks and sit down around the living room when the door buzzes again, Hans letting in Jonas and Hanna, who David saw once on set with Jonas.

David is already well acquainted and on friendly terms with Jonas, and to a lesser extent, Carlos because they see one another on set and had interacted a lot as time went on. They are more or less friends by now. He still has to get to know the other people though.

David can tell there is a lot of intrigue and interest about how they got together, but Matteo does not give away much. David is still by nature a bit guarded at first, though as the night went into full swing and after a few beers, he became looser and enjoyed the company of the people around him more, fitting into the group seamlessly. He likes the fact that they do not pry too much about David himself, but rather they all fall into conversation about whatever that comes to someone’s mind, mostly talking about the happenings in their lives recently, and he learns a little about each of these new people throughout the night.

David is a bit surprised when no one moves to leave as the clock nears midnight, but rather some of them just dozing off as the night went on. He looks at Matteo questioningly, who seems to get his confusion.

“They just take over the living room and sleep here.” He says, standing up and pulling David with him in one motion, in the direction of his bedroom.

There is a wolf whistle from Jonas as they cross the threshold, Matteo just flips him off in response.

David likes this new group of people. They are Matteo’s friends, and David thinks with time, maybe they could be his friends too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit later than I intended to post this because I got distracted by social events and writing something else.  
> As always, please comment :)


	15. "Better start believing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and unedited.

**20 September 2023**

_Mittwoch 16:44_

 

David has spent the afternoon in his office storyboarding for one of the advertisement jobs that he has taken on and has not yet started filming yet. In fact, he does work on these small directing jobs on the side a lot. He thinks it is quite refreshing to work on other projects and not get himself boxed into one project, though there is also the other fact that it is simply financially infeasible to just work on one big project and not look for other income sources when you work in the creative industry, putting all eggs in one basket, per se. 

The other reason for this is that, as they near the completion for his film, there is naturally fewer filming days for un-filmed sections, and it is not always easy to get every cast member he needs for the right scenes, especially when you are not a big-name director yet, or ever. He is quietly glad that he made enough headway previously, so that between these sorts of obstacles and the _Heidelberg episode_ , he could still conceivably finish filming when he needs it to. So he takes the opportunity to use these days which are otherwise laid to waste to do more of these small jobs that he is by now quite familiar with.

He decides he has done enough for the day and pushes the ideas board back to where they all stand by the window and checks his phone.

It is a bit weird that he has still not heard from Matteo today, or to be accurate, since last evening. They have not seen each other since they had lunch together on Monday, and from what David can gather, Matteo should be busy on some other games _Peach_ wants to announce soon, while David himself has been busy with these directing jobs. However, even if they are busy, they have always made time for one another, if not in person, then at least through texting, which makes this current situation highly unusual.

Just as he is about lock his phone again, a text comes through.

 

_Unknown Number_

“Hi, David. It’s Hans. Matteo has not left his room at all today, can you come by?” - 16:47

 

David stops breathing. As far as David can tell, Matteo has been fine the last time he saw him, so what is up now? Did Matteo fall into a _sad_ hole out of the blue?

 

_David_

“I’m on my way.”- 16:48

 

* * *

 

_Mittwoch 17:32_

 

Hans opens the door for David swiftly, pulling him into a quick hug in greeting and nods in the direction of Matteo’s room.

“He hasn’t eaten since last night, as far as I know.”

David nods, and knocks on Matteo’s door, as Hans retreats to the kitchen.

“Matteo. It’s me. Can I come in?”

Given how Matteo once told David about his _sad_ episodes, which entailed staying in bed and not moving for a long time, David is totally not expecting any reaction from Matteo, when the door cracked open.

There, David can see, despite it still being daytime, Matteo’s room is pitch black, and there is a whiff of something, _weed_ , coming out of his room. Matteo opens the door a bit wider in a silent invitation to him, stalking away when David enters, slumping against his bed.

David’s heart cracks, seeing the boy he loves in this state, so devoid of energy and happiness.

He follows Matteo, and joins him on the ground, sitting in front of him. Matteo takes another drag from his joint.

“How are you?” David asks, reaching out to touch Matteo’s hand on the ground. He freezes when he feels Matteo flinching.

“I’m sorry.”

What is he sorry for?

“What…why?” David is at a loss for words momentarily. “Are you okay?”

David reaches out and takes the joint from Matteo’s hand and take a drag himself, when Matteo does not answer. Matteo finally looks at him.

“No. Not really.” He whispers.

“I just started feeling so empty all of a sudden and everything feels like they’re closing in and I…” Matteo trails off.

David reaches out with his free hand to take Matteo’s hand again. He holds David’s hand this time.

“I’m sorry…I promised not to hurt you, and I…”

“Matteo.” David whispers insistently.

Matteo stops, instead waiting for David to continue.

“It is okay to be down. I was there too, and I might be there again in the future. Just…let me know when you have a bad day? We are together not only for the good days, but also the bad ones. We have each other, and you also have your friends…”

“Just because you are sad, it doesn’t mean you’re hurting me.”

“Okay.” Matteo relaxes, but David can tell he is still a bit tense.

“How much have you had?” He asks, waving the joint he still has in his hand.

“Just a few…” Matteo mumbles.

David knows Matteo should not really smoke more of this. He has compromise though. “Okay. Our last one today?” He asks, taking another drag.

Matteo reaches out to grab the weed from David. “Can you really smoke that?”

“It’s weed, not tobacco. Don’t worry.” David assures him.

Matteo nods, with a tinge of skepticism, though he does not resist when David insists to finish the joint with him, as they sat in silence, and at one point, David moving to sit next to Matteo.

David can tell from the lack of light seeping in through the foot of the curtains that night has fallen upon them at some point, with Matteo now leaning against him, lightly snoring. He runs his fingers through Matteo’s hair, a bit more greasy than usual.

He checks his phone. It is nearly 9 pm.

He nudges Matteo. “Can you go to the shower?”

Matteo nods reluctantly, and with a bit of struggle and a little help from David, he manages to stand up, stalking to the washroom with a change of clothes David shoved into his hand, after a brief search from his wardrobe.

David takes the opportunity to head to the kitchen. While he is generally incompetent when it comes to cooking, he is capable of making a simple piece of cheese toast, thank you very much. That is what he sets out to do, when Hans walks in.

“How’s he?”

“Not too good, but got him into shower and I’m making him something to eat.”

Hans sighs. “I’m glad he has you.”

David just smiles a tight smile, as Hans fills his cup of water and retires back into his room.

Matteo finishes three quarters of the piece of cheese toast David has made for him, when he returns from the washroom, looking more cleaned. David finishes the remainder of it, when he realises he himself has not had anything to eat since lunch. He makes a mental note to look for food later in the night.

First, Matteo.

“Let’s get you to bed.” David says as he herds Matteo to bed. Just as he is about to pull away from tucking Matteo in, Matteo catches his hand, pulling him back in. “Stay here with me?”

David nods. “Sure.”

He climbs into bed, wrapping Matteo into a hug, feeling him relaxing in his embrace. He knows he still has to look for food, preferably shower, and definitely not fall asleep in his binder. But right now, he wants to make sure Matteo is okay. He presses a kiss behind Matteo’s ear. He looks at the clock over Matteo’s body on the nightstand.

 

It is 21:21.

 

* * *

 

**29 March 2023**  

_Freitag 11:14_

 

It has been more than a week since that episode in the WG, and Matteo has been getting progressively better, digging himself out of the hole as well as going to the therapist, and by now he is more or less back to normal, working at Peach, hanging out with his friends and spending time with David when their schedules align. He has, however, yet to go to the filming set for David’s film since coming back to Berlin, partly because he focused more on his work, and on the other hand because filming days are harder to come by recently, as David recently told him over dinner, talking about the advertising gigs he has been taking on. 

This changes today, except for the fact that Matteo is late, because he was too lazy to get out of bed. This explains why his phone is filled with unread messages, which he has yet to reply to.

 

_David @ We are actually filming_

“10AM. Tempelhofer Feld.” – 07:13

 

_Leonie @ We are actually filming_

“Got it, on our way.” – 09:21

 

_David @ We are actually filming_

“Where is Matteo?” – 09:44

 

_Sara_ _@_ _We are actually filming_

“I don’t see him.” – 09:46

 

_Jonas_

“Where are you? David is mad.” – 09:52

 

_David_

“Where are you?” – 09:56

“Did you sleep in?” – 10:27

 

He is now at Tempelhof, the only issue is that Tempelhof is literally the largest inner-city park in the world, which complicates things mildly, when it comes to looking for David.

 

_Matteo_

“Sorry I overslept. I’m here.” – 11:14

 

He wanders into the park through the main entrance in the north. Trying to look for any clues of the whereabouts of a filming crew.

 

_Matteo_ _@_ _We are actually filming_

“Where are you?” – 11:15

 

_Leonie @ We are actually filming_

“Southmost runway.” – 11:17

 

Matteo groans, this means he actually has to cross the vast field in the park, walking a distance of more than a kilometer just to get to where his boyfriend is. 

He is lightly panting by the time he gets to the former runway, and by pure luck he somehow manages to get to where the crew is, rather than the opposite end to where they are.

One thing catches Matteo’s eye though, as he approaches. That is David is wearing something that is not black or at least dark. While David is still wearing a dark beanie, black tight jeans and black trainers, he has thrown on a light beige overcoat. This mildly throws Matteo off, seeing David in colourful attire. It looks good on David though, Matteo has to admit, he likes the look a lot.

As if the stars are aligning for Matteo, they are also not filming at the moment, which means he can sneak up behind David to wrap his arms around David’s waist…

And nearly get elbowed in the face.

“What the fuck! What…” David spins around. And Matteo might have genuinely startled David, given that while David does _swear_ , he rarely does so eloquently. David stops short though, when he sees who he is facing. “Matteo.” He says simply, then turns away slightly.

Matteo catches his wrist though, before he fully turns away.

“Hey, this wonderful person with a bright smile who is wearing colourful clothing.” He tugs at David, who stops, but still not looking at Matteo.

“I’m sorry for oversleeping and scaring you, please don’t be mad? I miss that smile.”

David is still not looking at him, but he can see a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Matteo takes his chance and pulls David back in, leaning his forehead against David’s. “Hey.”

“Hey, sleepy head.”

Matteo leans in, wanting a kiss, but David pulls away. “Who says I’ve forgiven you?”

Matteo pouts at that, though David relents and pecks him on the lips. “I’ll buy you a new alarm next time I go to the shops.”

Matteo rolls his eyes. “Where’s everyone? I thought you’re filming.”

David turns and points into the distance not too far away, where there are around a dozen figures sitting around on the tarmac. “They are doing some drone footage while everyone’s having a break.”

Matteo has taken a few steps with David towards the group when he sees Leonie and Sara walking towards them, both with an identical smirk. He sees David rolling his eyes at them.

“So will you finally be less grumpy now?” Leonie asks, when they reach touching distance.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” David replies nonchalantly.

“I have something for you two.” Sara says, as she presses some buttons on her phone.

All their phones vibrate.

 

_Sara_ _@_ _We are actually filming_

(Picture) – 11:41

 

Matteo opens the message. It is a picture taken from some distance, but very clearly Matteo holding David’s arms, resting their foreheads together.

David, evidently still grumpy, glares at Sara and deadpans, “Why haven’t you turned into Princess Peach yet? You’ve dated a Mario and a Luigi. You would’ve been less annoying.”

Sara freezes for a moment, before bursting into laughter like a dying cat.

“That is a terrible joke.” Leonie sighs, facepalming.

Matteo is just stood there, trying to figure out what has just happened among the three of them. They all follow when David stalks away, muttering “I hate you sometimes.”

They resume filming shortly after, Matteo just hanging around the scene watching everyone at work. When lunchtime finally comes around, David calls it good and lets everyone go for lunch. Matteo quickly swoops in and drags David away on a spontaneous lunch date at a nearby Italian restaurant to make up for everything to David, ditching Leonie and Sara and their plans to have lunch together.

 

* * *

 

**7 October 2023**  

_Samstag 20:04_

 

Matteo pulls the headphones over his head, drowning out the loud noises from the chaotic background and the anticipation-filled crowd. He settles down in the booth, checking if all the knobs are in the positions where they are meant to be. He knows he has to pull the headphones off at some point to have an accurate gauge on how the sounds are coming out, but hopefully by then he will be in the zone and not be overwhelmed by everything.

Linn has asked him a few weeks ago if he would be available for _Exorcism_ ’s Berlin concert, and he agreed right away, without knowing if David would even be there. If nothing else, he does not mind helping a roommate out and gaining some brownie points with the sister of his boyfriend, though he may also have neglected to tell said boyfriend about the fact that he would be sound engineering for the band again.

Matteo still finds it a bit funny, how he, patently not a sound engineer, without conventional training or experience in the field, is the go-to person for one of the most popular bands in Germany right now whenever they have a show in Berlin. He is not complaining though, even if sometimes he finds it a bit annoying having to turn down studios trying to get him on board, as it is right in this booth at the backmost position, at this same venue, with this same band, all those months ago when he first saw the mysterious boy clad in all black.

If nothing else, it is a trip down the memory lane.

He gets the cue for the countdown to the start and focuses back on the task on hand.

The music starts coming through and he focuses on the various programs to pick out the right sounds to project to the audience and mix them together for the best effect. As things starts coming together, with the concert already in full swing, a few minutes in, Matteo pulls off his headphones, though his ears are still just focused on the acoustics and sounds coming through the PA system, rather than the sea of excited fans in front of him, clambering to see the band in the center of the venue.

Matteo pricks up his ears, focusing on all the details he can pick out and fix, all the while also letting himself enjoy the music, just a little bit. He has to say, he can very much understand why _Exorcism_ is so popular, their quality and versatility is something that can only be matched by very few others.

The night goes by with a blur, and this time Matteo did not even pull on his headphones for anymore other than it is needed to communicate with the rest of the sound crew. As the last song ends, Matteo’s concentration on his work finally breaks, and only now does it hit him how _crazily_ the crowd is cheering and screaming, and Matteo thinks that might be an indicator for a good job well done.

He slumps back against his seat, staring at the ceiling, the exertion of the evening starting to hit him. By the time he focuses back on reality, he sees that the venue is already half empty, the concert-goers filing out, apart from some of those who are still taking pictures for their social media or whatnot.

Then as he stands up, ready to abandon station and head back to backstage in search of his bag, he sees a pair of dark brown eyes from a few paces away, staring right back at him.

David is here.

This time, it is no longer a fleeting glance of seeing a mysterious boy clad in black and a beanie walking past. This time, it is no longer watching a boy with a blond mop of hair focused on reacting calmly to the performance in the sea of madness then disappearing into thin air.

This time, there is a name to the face. This time, they make eye contact. This time, they talk to each other.

“You didn’t tell me you’ll be here.” David says in lieu of greeting, tilting his head.

“Well, _you_ didn’t tell me you’ll be here either.” Matteo shoots back, mimicking the head tilt.

David pulls Matteo close. “Well, my sister is the front of the band.”

Matteo puts his hands on David’s shoulder. “Well, my roommate plays a shit ton of instruments for the band.”

“Idiot.” David says, while kissing Matteo on the cheek, then he pulls away. “It’s this place again.” He does not elaborate, but he does not need to. Matteo was thinking about this too.

“I know. Fate, huh?”

“You know I don’t believe in that.”

Matteo starts walking, bumping his shoulder against David’s as he walks past. David follows.

“Better start believing.”

They end up at the after party, somehow with shitty beer, though they just sat away in a corner, a bottle of white wine between them, eating out of a pizza box.

 

* * *

 

**12 October 2023**  

_Donnerstag 18:22_

 

Matteo once again has the WG to himself for today, which is admittedly not that rare of an occurrence, when you consider the fact that Mia divides her time between Madrid and Berlin (and maybe London too, but Matteo isn’t sure), and when Mia is in Berlin, she divides her time between the WG and _Hotel Hardenberg_ , with a heavy preference to the latter; Linn tours a lot with the band, and even when she is in town, she often _disappears_ _somewhere_ (read: the Schreibner household); Matteo lives here primarily, but sometimes he disappear off to Heidelberg, where he actually owns a flat that only David knows about; and Hans, who is technically the only permanent resident of the WG, is once again off somewhere. Matteo did not even care to ask whether it is a conference or is it another _fun_ night. 

The issue Matteo is facing now, is the fact that David has been pacing around in the living room since crossing the threshold to the flat 15 minutes ago.

Matteo is currently cooking the one and only _Pasta a la Luigi_ , while he hears a chorus of tap-tap-tap-tap coming from the direction of the living room.

He knows what is up, really. Matteo has been to two or three more filming sets for David’s film since the day he nearly got elbowed in the face by David, and he can tell from what he sees and also the texts in the WhatsApp group with David, Leonie and Sara, that they are fast approaching the conclusion of the film.

David is stressed about this. While he sees David presenting himself as cool and collected as ever around the others, he knows under the façade David is constantly thinking about the remaining scenes and editing and post-production and the possibility of reshoots (he has already done a few) and how the end product would look like.

To put it in one word: David wants the film to come out _good_. _Marvelous_ , even.

Matteo might be biased, because he loves everything about his boyfriend so much, but as far as he is concerned, he knows from what he has seen on set and how meticulous and demanding David is with particular shots that the end product will be amazing.

He finishes preparing the ingredients for the sauce, pouring them into the pot, lidding it and letting it simmer.

He pulls out a bottle of Zinfandel from the small wine cooler, uncorking it and pouring a glass, bringing it with him to the living room, offering it to David.

“Loosen a bit.” He says, pulling David close and resting his forehead against David’s for a moment, mindful not to spill the wine glass David is still holding. He can feel David’s breathing deepen. He presses a chaste kiss on David’s cheekbone as he pulls away. “The food should be ready soon.”

David follows him back into the kitchen, while Matteo pours himself a glass of the red wine, taking a sip from it, before finishing up the pasta.

When the pasta is finally plated and placed on the dining table inside the kitchen, the two of them seated opposite each other, they clink their wine glasses, then start eating in silence. Matteo can tell David is still troubled by his film.

“You know.” Matteo starts, after a few bites into his pasta.

David hums.

“You are like, the best artist I have ever seen.”

David pauses to take a sip from the wine.

“Hardworking, meticulous, perfectionist.” He takes a sip from his wine as well. “Handsome, gentle, hilarious.”

“I have lost track of how many times I have been on set, but you have always put so much into the film. I know it will turn out well.”

David’s mouth turns into a smile for the first time this evening.

“You’re so corny sometimes.”

Matteo rolls his eyes. “Seriously, I know it will be good and I will personally fight anyone who dares to say it isn’t.”

David lets out a laugh at that. “You can’t fight a tree branch.”

Matteo is majorly offended, but at least he got David laughing.

“Ass.” He mutters as he resumes digging into the food.

“I appreciate it though.” David reaches out to touch his hand.

Matteo smiles. “Anything for you.”

“Do you want to come to the final filming then?” David raises his eyebrows.

“Of course I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated earlier than intended because Harri asked <3  
> As always, please comment :)


	16. "Eventful night, huh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and unedited.
> 
> Also, happy DODday (13th) ! The discord is three months old and love you beck for taking care of us <3

**20 October 2023**

_Freitag 08:38_

 

The final day of filming rolls around quicker than David expects. There are only a handful of scenes left to do, though they first have to drive out for the filming, as they are not going to do that in Berlin. 

This is how David finds himself next to a grumpy looking Matteo in the driver’s seat in this rented van, with a few cast members sat behind them and the filming equipment at the back. There is also another rental van behind them taking everyone else along.

Matteo is understandably grumpy, considering his hatred for mornings, and how David has all but kicked him out of David’s bed with the clock barely past 6 am, throwing a sandwich at him and placing a huge mug of coffee in front of him, then dragging him out of the door so they can pick up the van, then everyone else that are going with them down south.

They have just entered Wünsdorf when Matteo finally speaks up.

“I swear you just keep me around to chauffeur you around.” Matteo mutters.

“You know that’s not true.” David sighs. Why is it so hard to placate Matteo today?

Eventually, after they pull on to the curb outside the military base like they have done last time, Matteo hops out of the car without so much uttering a word, leaning against the hood of the van while the rest of the crew head to the back and start unloading their equipment. David follows Matteo out and stands in front of him, resting his hands on the hood, trapping Matteo in place.

“Matteo Florenzi. Why are you so grumpy today?”

Matteo stares at him for a beat, then reaches for his back pocket. David knows what he is doing. He snatches the pack of cigarettes out of his hand before Matteo could even pull his hand back to in front of him.

“Hey!” Matteo protests.

“Tell me.”

“You didn’t kiss me good morning today.”

David tries so hard not to roll his eyes to the back of his skull and let them stay there. While on reflection, that is a true statement of fact, is Matteo really so grumpy just because of that?

He leans in and press a kiss square on Matteo’s lips, after making sure the crew is still busy with the equipment at the back. Matteo’s hands fly to hold David’s waist. So, yeah. Maybe that’s really just it.

He pulls back. “Better?”

A small smile shows up on Matteo’s face. “Need to test another time to make sure.” 

God is his boyfriend clingy.

Just as David is done pressing another kiss onto Matteo, pulling back as far as he can while Matteo tries to chase his mouth, someone clears their throat next to them.

“Are we ready, lovebirds?” Leonie asks with a devilish smirk on her face.

David pockets Matteo’s packet of cigarette and backs away from Matteo to start walking with Leonie. “Yeah, let’s go.”

He can feel Matteo’s hand trying to pluck the packet back out of David’s back pocket as they walk past the entrance gate to the premises. He turns around and bats his hand away, not caring that now they are in full view of the crew.

“I thought you said you don’t smoke that much anymore.” David says while raising his eyebrows at him.

“I don’t.” Matteo says while still trying to reach behind David.

“Then I’m keeping it.” David turns around and walks away, ignoring the pout on Matteo’s lips. He can see Sara smiling a fond smile next to him.

 

* * *

 

_Freitag 11:47_

 

They have so far filmed a few scenes on the desolate tree-lined paths and squares, as well as some inside the various corridors of the building. Many of the cast already have their final speaking parts done. 

David looks at his notes and the script. There is only one more set of scenes that they need to do here.

They enter the building from the main entrance again. Matteo slides up next to him from whatever he was looking at while they were filming the last scene.

“Not jumping from a hole?”

Something that only they would understand.

“Tell me how we get the equipment inside through that hole.”

That shuts Matteo up, he just tries to trip him again.

“Fuck you.” David mutters under his breath.

“Maybe tonight.” Matteo replies slyly, raising his eyebrows.

“Fuck _off_.” He says while rolling his eyes and following the crew, leaving Matteo to laugh to himself by the entrance.

They eventually start the filming, with Jonas, now by himself, walking through the front door, looking around this desolate place, then exploring through various corridors, including the ones that David and Matteo explored themselves when they were here on that fateful day.

Matteo and David, in silent understanding, usually do not stand together while the filming is in progress because they are bound to distract each other and get too interested in each other rather than the filming itself. However, as they get to the threshold to the pool, Matteo unconsciously slides up next to David. David rests a hand against Matteo’s lower back, while they watch Jonas crossing the threshold with the film crew in tow. There is also another camera set at the other end of the pool to capture Jonas’ entrance.

“Cut.” David signals for the end of the take.

Jonas sits down at the pool, hanging his feet off the side.

“How did you guys find this place? It looks quite nice.”

“Oh, I read about it on the internet.” David says nonchalantly, though he can see Jonas looking at Matteo pointedly. He turns over and sees Matteo looking away and blushing. He rolls his eyes and tries to ignore it.

“Luigi?” Jonas presses.

“Nothing. I don’t know.” He mutters as he walks away.

Jonas turns his attention back to David, raising his eyebrows.

David sighs, plopping down next to Jonas, while Matteo walks over to Leonie and Sara, where Leonie is talking to the crew about setting up the cushions in the pool for the last scene.

“I brought him here a while ago.” David supplies.

“Hm.” Jonas considers Matteo from afar. David can see him looking at the two of them from where he is stood. “He seems happier with you.”

“He makes me happy too.”

“I know it’s clichéd, but you’re good for him.” Jonas bumps his shoulder against David’s. “It’s been so hard to get him to see anyone.”

He stares at Matteo. “He has so much love inside him.”

“Does he? He just acts like an asshole around us.”

David blushes. He did not mean to say that out loud.

“Well, that too. A demanding asshole.”

Jonas wants to say something more, but they are interrupted by Leonie walking towards them, telling them they should get Jonas prepared for the shot. Jonas holds out a fist for David to bump. David smiles and complies.

They move out of the way, as the filming crew get into the right positions for the shot. It is going to be short and sweet, but dramatic nonetheless.

Jonas turns to look straight at the camera, breaking the fourth wall.

“Sometimes, you have to take the plunge.”

Then he falls backwards into the dry pool, out of the shot of the camera, and falling onto the cushions waiting for him down there.

This is what he has decided to use as the end of the film. Instead of all the characters fighting a losing battle alone in the end in the dystopian world despite their valiant efforts and sacrifices, David decided to have a plot arc throw a curve ball in the end, with the characters reconciling, those who abandoned these brave souls who chose to take action to seek change in the world coming around to understand the cause and support them in their own ways. Because there should always be hope. There should be light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to have faith and take the plunge and know that we are not alone in our fight for a better world. Some of these ideas are heavily metaphorical, and the film ends on this note, at an open end, but David thinks it is for the best. Actions in real life will not always give ideal resolutions, and he thinks this way the message will be focused more on encouraging people to find their courage to fight for change, rather than using the idealised result as the sole motivation or benchmark as whether a fight is worth it. Because if there is no fight, there is no change, and everyone loses.

“Cut.” David goes over to the small monitor to look at the footage. “Good take!”

Jonas groans inside the pool, still laying on top of the cushions. “That still hurts a little.”

Somehow Matteo is already down in the pool, crouched next to Jonas. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Didn’t break anything. Just that it’s a harder hit than I thought it would be.” He says, while using Matteo’s offered hand to haul himself up.

“I’m going to lie down for a bit in the van.” He announces, as he follows the crew, who are moving equipment back outside.

David from the corner of his eye, sees Matteo sitting down in the pool, leaning his back against the wall and staring at the ceiling again. He wraps up what he is saying to the cinematographer about some of the environmental shots he wants to have done around the premises.

“I’ll be out later.” He tells Leonie and climbs down the ladder into the pool to where the ladder is, just as the last of the crew leaves the room, carrying the cushions with them.

He sits down against the wall next to Matteo, leaning his head against Matteo’s.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Matteo reaches out, lacing his fingers together with David’s.

“Just the last time we were here.”

David hums. Of course he remembers that day. He would immortalise that day if he could find a way to.

“It was beautiful.” Matteo whispers.

David turns his head and looks at Matteo. “You’re beautiful.”

Matteo turns too and rubs his face against David’s.

They stay in the pool for a while, just snuggled up against each other, reliving that day in their brain, until their phone buzz.

 

_Leonie @ We are actually filming_

“We are going to pack up in 15.” – 13:18

 

“They’re leaving soon.” David says as he tries to stand up, knowing Matteo would not bother to check his phone.

He cannot straighten up, as Matteo still has a vice grip on his hand, he uses it to pull Matteo up with him instead.

Matteo leans his head against David’s when he finds his feet. David knows what he wants. He closes in and kisses Matteo, just like the first time they kissed here.

“Can we go now?” David asks, tugging at their joined hands.

“Okay.” Though he still did not budge until he got another kiss from David.

 

* * *

 

_Freitag 21:57_

 

The crew drove back to Berlin earlier in the day, parting ways for the time being, though most of them planned to meet up later in the evening at a club to have a drink or three to celebrate and mark the end of the filming, barring any further reshoots, which David is quite confident that would not happen. Both Matteo and David were reluctant to go to the club, opting instead to hole up in David’s flat for the rest of the day. 

Their plans were however foiled by Leonie and Sara, who just marched right into the flat when Laura opened the door for them, and all but dragged the two of them along with them to the club.

This is how David and Matteo found themselves sat in a booth on their own, in the corner of a club in downtown Berlin, holding a bottle of beer each in their hand and observing people on the crew as well as everyday clubgoers partying away in the sea of people which neither David nor Matteo are too keen to get involved in. Though if they are being honest, they mostly have their attention for each other.

 

* * *

 

Leonie and Sara are sat at the bar with some sort of cocktail that they do not remember the name of in hand. Incidentally, from their perch, they can see the corner booth where David and Matteo are currently sat in. 

Leonie takes another sip of her drink, having just danced to a song on the dance floor with Sara. One of the things Sara has done better over the years after getting together with Leonie is her alcohol tolerance, while also at the same time cutting down on how much she consumes at a party. They do go out to the dance floor when they are in the mood, though Leonie is still by nature a person that does not do a lot of partying, so they are now doing what they do most at parties, sitting at the bar, either chatting with people or observing others.

She raises her glass in the direction of the booth. “Have you ever seen him so happy?”

It is not like David is suddenly the life of the party or center of attention or something, even though Leonie thinks he has that potential. It is just that with Matteo next to him, you can’t find the trace of David’s guard that he usually puts up around him, and how content he is with Matteo leaning heavily into him. There is not a care in the world. How big the contrast is, comparing to the David Schreibner around new people, and the David Schreibner whose pain was so palpable on his face when he talked about his experiences in his high school years.

“You can say the same for Matteo, to be fair.” Sara muses.

“He always looked so lifeless when he was with you.”

“Well you can understand why. I mean I still think he’s cute.” Leonie is about to protest at that, so Sara adds, “Good for David, that’s what I wanna say.”

Jonas slides into the empty seat next to Sara, clinking his beer bottle against Sara’s glass.

“Having fun?” He asks.

“We are. Now we’re just observing that.” She gestures over at the pair with her glass.

“Luigi is so in love.”

Their discussion turns to their respective future plans now that the film is complete. Jonas tells them about his new EP that is coming out by the end of the year, as well as some activism causes he might participate in. Sara talks about some other acting gigs she might take up on for some TV series and other indie films, though she is also writing some songs on the side, so she could maybe release some singles in the future. Leonie is mostly just working with David on his various directing gigs, though she is also looking into furthering her studies so she may move into the desk-job side of filmmaking or entertainment productions in general if she decides she is not going to continue to work as an assistant director in the future. While working on set is challenging, it is not the most stable of jobs with its freelance nature, and even though she knows she has a great partnership with David, it is not entirely viable to just base your career of a single partnership.

Their discussion is interrupted though, when Jonas makes a retching noise, his finger pointing at the booth.

Matteo and David are full-on making out in the (apparent) privacy of their booth. While it is now common knowledge among friends that the two are dating, they have never seen displays of affection between the two beyond touches, hugs and an excessive amount of gazes. It is as if they consciously chose not to show their affections, which is understandable given how both of them are not particularly keen on attention. This is why what they are witnessing now is very novel to all three of them.

 

* * *

 

They break apart and gasp for air. Matteo can never get tired of kissing David. He is about to lean in for another one when Jonas pops up out of nowhere. 

“Ey, Luigi, go get a room!”

He groans. “Jonas, why?”

David stands. “That is not a bad idea, Jonas.” He extends his hand and pulls Matteo up from the seat. Matteo could not resist and presses a few more kisses to David’s jaw as they stand.

“We’re going home.” David announces to Jonas and Matteo. That pulls Matteo out of his series of kisses.

“Oh are we?”

“I remember someone promising something tonight.” David raises his eyebrows at Matteo, all but ignoring Jonas who is making retching sounds. He punches Matteo’s arm as he walks past Jonas, following David towards the exit.

 

* * *

 

 **21 October 2023**  

_Samstag 00:02_

 

Matteo finds himself all but manhandled through the door to David’s flat, then into his room, then onto the bed. David pinning him onto the bed and kissing him fiercely as both their hands roam the bodies of the other under their shirts. 

Their attires find themselves flung all over the floor not long after, as Matteo finds himself pinned on the bed. David takes the _promise_ to the word, his fingers working Matteo with _practiced_ ease from their newly gained experiences with each other. Matteo squirms from the pleasure from the ministrations by David and gets vocal a lot. It isn’t long until Matteo finds himself making a mess all over himself with David’s hands working him through the climax both from the front and back, rendering him a panting mess afterwards.

David stands up from where he is hovering over Matteo, and after a few moments returns with a fresh towel. He wipes Matteo down, then throws the towel off the bed to the side and lies down next to Matteo.

“Will you ever not be so loud?” David asks next to him.

Matteo turns over, having regulated his breathing for a bit, and kisses David’s cheek. “I can’t help it.”

David turns his head so they can properly make out. As it gets a bit more heated, Matteo starts trailing kisses down south. He pauses when he is between David’s thighs, looking straight into David’s eyes. He thinks David’s breath hitched with the eye contact.

“I will make you feel so good.” He says with his trademark sly smirk.

It is safe to say David is not that much better when it comes to not being vocal.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 10:21_

 

Matteo wakes up to himself snuggling into David’s thigh next to him and is momentarily confused, until he realises David is already awake and sitting up against the headboard of the bed, scrolling on his phone, his fingers playing with Matteo’s hair. 

They did manage to go and shower before they fall back into bed that night, which explains why both of them are in an advanced state of undress, Matteo only wearing his underwear, while David also has a t-shirt pulled on in addition to that.

David seems to realise Matteo is now awake, as he puts down his phone, though his does not stop the movement of his fingers. Now also trailing down to his face and his neck. Matteo stretches his neck and leans into David’s touch. It feels nice.

“Morning.” He mutters, voice still laced with sleep.

“Slept well?” David asks.

“Had a good night _and_ good sleep on top of that.” Matteo is feeling extra content today, he pushes himself off the bed into a sitting position next to David while saying that, leaning into David’s side, who automatically curls a hand around his back to pull him close. Matteo presses a series of kisses along David’s strong jawline.

“What are your plans for the next two weeks?” Matteo asks. If he would have his way, he will just stay wrapped up in a bubble with David and not go anywhere. He is aware though, he should probably go into work and David might still have some projects to finish before he goes into operation.

“Just one more advert. Though there are also things like needing to stop drinking, and I might go to the gym more often to keep my chest muscle and whatnot. Just getting myself prepared and all.”

It makes sense, really. It is an important surgery, and it makes sense to be in the best shape and frame of mind beforehand.

“I’ll probably just keep working on the games as usual.”

They are interrupted by noises outside. Presumably meaning that they were not alone in the flat last night when _activities_ took place in bed. Matteo turns to look at David.

“I’m not going out there.” David says before Matteo even utters a word.

“But I’m hungry.” Matteo whispers, making his best impression of puppy eyes at David.

“No.”

Matteo just grumbles, untangles himself from David and all but pulls him out along with him, making him get dressed so Matteo can get his breakfast.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 10:39_

 

They are greeted with a smirk from Laura, who is sat on the couch holding a mug of coffee, when they finally made their way out of David’s room. Matteo quickly ducks into the kitchen with the excuse that he is going to make something, abandoning David to face his sister. Though David ends up just following Matteo into the kitchen, getting into the way while Matteo attempts to make pancakes for them. 

Laura moves from the couch and steals one pancake out of David’s plate when the two settle down at the dining table. Matteo just moves one of his own onto David’s plate while he grumbles at his sister.

“Eventful night, huh?” Laura comments.

“Oh, shut up.” David can feel his face growing red rapidly. He also does not want to talk about this with anyone other than Matteo.

Matteo just continues to pretend he is not here, scrolling on his phone while eating his pancakes. David rolls his eyes.

“I just wish the walls are a bit thicker.” Laura says while she stalks back into her room.

His phone buzzes.

 

_Laura_

“It’s good that you’re happy.” – 10:54

 

He unsuccessfully resists the urge to smile at that.

While he is doing that, a fork clanks against the table. David turns and sees Matteo staring at his phone.

“What’s up?” He nudges Matteo.

After a few beats of stunned silence from Matteo, he whispers, “I got invited to speak at the EGX.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment :)


	17. "Feeling myself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are: The longest chapter of this fic. Strap yourselves in for a long ride!
> 
> Big thanks to Ellie (@blueteatime on AO3) and Harri (@theyellowcurtains) for beta'ing parts of this chapter!
> 
> Content Warning: Sexual Content on 16 December (Samstag 10:28)

The days go by with a relative sense of regularity. The two of them waking up in one of their beds, getting breakfast together, then Matteo getting to work, while David goes out and about, be it working on his advert gig, going to doctors and therapists, going to the gym to work out or whatnot. There are also one or two occasions where David shows up at Peach with takeaway boxes, so he knows Matteo is really eating well at work.

Matteo usually comes home to David sitting somewhere in one of the two flats, either with his sketchbook or laptop in front of him, working on something. Though if David is in the WG and if they are not alone, it usually involves someone talking to him too. Matteo usually cooks something for everyone in the flat that night, or both of them get fed by Laura if they are in the Schreibner household.

On weekends they usually just hang out in bed for excessively long, doing god knows what, not that they are inclined to let anyone know other than just themselves. Though when they eventually move out of bed, they just stay cuddled up on the couch, watching something mindless on the TV, and maybe venture out of the flat for a short while if they both feel like going out.

It is disarmingly easy, how they more or less have fallen into a routine so quickly. Matteo likes it though, and sometimes he cannot help but imagine having a routine that just involves the two of them. He is pulled out of his musings though, when David waves his hand in front of him.

 

* * *

 

 **29 October 2023**  

_Sonntag 19:23_

 

They are sat around the dining table in the kitchen of the WG, joined by Hans and Mia, who came back to Berlin late in the afternoon and somehow decided to come back to the WG instead to Alex’s. Hans cooked for them, as Matteo was too lazy (and clingy) to move away from David’s side to start cooking, let alone getting groceries beforehand, and David is just, that guy who cannot cook to save his life, so the duty falls upon Hans. It is some sort of roast that, in Hans’ words, burnt in hell for hours, that he is so good at making, and it is very delicious. Matteo may have joked about David leaving him for better food at some point earlier in the dinner, before he got lost in his musings.

“Are you still with us?” David is still waving his hands in front of Matteo’s face, about to slap him when Matteo finally focuses properly and grabs hold of David’s hand.

“Yep.” He presses a kiss onto David’s knuckles, earning a yelp from David.

“It’s greasy, gross!”

Matteo just tries to lean over and kiss David with his greasy mouth while Hans rolls his eyes at their antics. Mia smiles at how in love Matteo is, having just been introduced to David when she came through the door earlier in the day, as she was not in town for the meetup when David met the rest of Matteo’s friends.

“So, butterfly, how are you dealing with your panel or whatever you are going to do?” Hans asks mindlessly while he takes another bite from his plate.

You see, the problem here is, among all the people at the table, Hans is a person who is accustomed to being the center of attention, be it at parties, academic events or on the campaign trail for equality. Mia has always been a self-confident person who is not afraid to speak up in front of others and David, while he does not like to reveal himself to others, is skilled and experienced in dealing with people and has a large following of admirers that he does not even know the faces of.

Then there is Matteo, who loathes being the center of attention and prefers it when he is not noticed, it is ingrained in his personality. Over the years he has done better, because he is one of the people that run a company and has to work with many people inside said company, but going to a gaming convention where the public clambers to, and speak in public? That is quite a huge leap.

Matteo knows his stuff, really, the real problem is just the people.

He sighs. “I don’t know, really. It is still quite daunting, to be honest.”

He feels David’s greasy hand on his, “ _Teo_ , we have been over this.”

And yes, they have been over this quite a few times, when Matteo and David are wrapped up in bed, while the two of them talk about their insecurities and thoughts in hushed whispers.

David has always reassured him that he is more than qualified to be on the panel, seeing as he is a co-founder of _Peach_ who is actually involved in the development work of the games, and he knows his stuff. David has also taught him a few things, like looking over the heads of the audience when he is up there, focusing on his thoughts rather than the audience that might not even be looking at him at all and the like, and even ways to make his exit if he were really uncomfortable on stage on the day.

Now, he just keeps staring into David’s eyes, and he finds himself more grounded thinking about this whole deal. He also belatedly realises Hans and Mia have retreated from the kitchen with their plates, presumably realising David and Matteo are having a moment between themselves.

He flips his hand and holds onto David’s hands. “I know. I think it will be fine.”

“If you are uncomfortable, you can always ask someone else to…” David suggests, not for the first time, but Matteo’s grip on his hand interrupts him.

“No. I want to try.” Matteo says, and he means it. He knows David really believes in him, and he also wants, for himself, to get more comfortable with strangers, to extend his comfort zone per se. And if things really do not work out, he can always feign a stomachache and make a swift exit.

“I can be there, if you want.”

“Only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to be there for you.”

 

* * *

 

 **1 November 2023**  

_Mittwoch 19:57_

 

Matteo finds himself in a side preparation room, with himself getting mic-ed up by some audio technicians and trying to engage in conversation with some of his fellow panelists before they get onto the stage when the time comes. He thinks it might make the whole thing easier, if they have already established some sort of rapport, so he is not talking to a total stranger once they get on stage. One of the game developers that will be on the same panel with him was a classmate of his from university, so that helps as well. 

He left David to his own devices, as he could hardly bring his boyfriend along into the room when he is obviously not going to be on stage with him, so David is now just presumably drifting along in the venue, politely looking at various booths of other development studios that he is patently not interested in.

A staff member of the event comes through the door and brings them all to where the panel is taking place. Matteo has a small moment of panic, when he realises the size of the crowd that is sat in front of the panel, despite the fact that it is a late evening panel before the event even opens officially on Friday, which he cannot be there for, for a very important reason.

He finds said reason sat right at the front of the audience, staring back into his eyes. He feels more grounded, and his panic slowly subsides, as he steps onto the stage and takes a seat to the side of the panel. It works well for him, kind of hiding in the side instead of seated in the middle, where hopefully the center of attention will stay. He chances for another look at David, and he sees David smiling up at him. He smiles back.

Their topic of discussion is whether mobile gaming is the future of gaming, which explains why Matteo is a preferred guest for the panel. He mostly just keeps to himself on stage, unless being prompted and given the space to organise his thoughts about the discussion, which he realises he is prompted quite often, so he takes it as a good sign that people are receptive to what he has to say.

The attention is once again turned to him.

“A little bird told me that _Peach_ has something to release during this year’s EGX. Is that true, Matteo?”

That is a softball question, as they segue from one topic to the next. Matteo puts on his smirk. He is getting more comfortable in this environment, with a good rapport with his fellow panelists, and mindful not to pay attention to the actual crowd.

“Well, you have a well-informed friend.” He pauses. “But yes, we are putting out a new game right onto your phones,” he chances a look to the general direction of the audience, “so stay tuned for Friday where my colleague Finn will have a revealing at _Peach’s_ section over at B14.”

“So, staying with Matteo for a minute,” the moderator says, “What do you, or Peach, think about the future of the PC/Console gaming market? Surely with how accessible mobile games are these days and how lucrative this market is, they might experience some sort of decline?”

Matteo takes a deep breath again, organising his thoughts, though he figures everyone involved has picked up on the fact that Matteo weighs up his words for a few seconds before he starts talking.

“I'm not gonna necessarily say the mobile games market is going to eclipse or replace the demand for the traditional gaming market.” He gestures vaguely.

“While we can see that the mobile sector is still growing very quickly, personally speaking, I would say there is still an appeal for at-home console gaming that is just not replicable on mobile devices. I still have some games I play on my computer, in fact.” He glances at where David is, just catching him rolling his eyes at this, he knows David sometimes get annoyed that he is more obsessed with the game on his laptop than David himself. He smiles to himself.

“And from a technical viewpoint, even though mobile phones are literally pocket computers these days, in the end, the constraints working with PC or consoles is much looser, because consoles do not need to sacrifice performance in exchange for mobility. If you want a more detailed, immersive experience with games, in the end you have to go with the traditional platforms, per se.”

He pauses to take a sip from his water.

“In fact, we have not talked about this before,” he starts again, and he can see the moderator leaning forward at that. “But Peach is currently working on something that is not on the mobile platform. You can say it is a vote of confidence for the traditional segment.”

He can hear a burst of murmurs from the audience, equally surprised by this revelation, given _Peach’s_ specialisation in mobile games so far.

“That is quite a big news, can you reveal more before we move on to the other panelists?”

“Well.” Matteo now has his eyes trained at David, they lock eyes. “Not much, but let’s say somehow vampires get involved.”

He can see David’s widen at that.

The rest of the panel goes by as well as you can expect of any panels at conventions, as Matteo chips in here and there, though tending to defer to his fellow panelists where he can, not saying more than it is absolutely needed of him. The one-hour session finishes before he realises it, and he finds himself being pulled into a hug as soon as he steps back out of the preparation room, having returned the mic to the organisers.

“You did so well.” David whispers into Matteo’s ear.

“It helps to have a super-fan sat right at the front of the audience.” Matteo smirks.

“Is that what I am now? I did not sign up for that.” David says as he tries to pull away.

“Hey.” Matteo holds David in place. “Thank you.” He says as he rests his forehead against David’s. He knows David made the effort to get himself to the front row just so Matteo can feel a bit more grounded seeing him there. He really loves his boyfriend to bits.

“We going home? I want to spend some quality time while we can for quite a while.” David tugs at his hand.

That reminds Matteo of something.

“Actually,” he pulls David back to in front of him.

David tilts his head, raising his eyebrows in question.

“Do you want to go to Heidelberg once you are good enough to travel post-op?”

David pauses for a moment, thinking it over.

“I like the sound of that.” David smiles at Matteo.

Matteo goes willingly this time when David pulls him along.

 

* * *

 

 **3 November 2023**  

_Freitag 10:02_

 

Matteo takes time off of work for Thursday, as David and Matteo more or less camped inside David’s room for the whole day before the operation comes around. 

Matteo is currently waiting with David in the waiting area, before he gets checked in and prepared for the surgery and everything. Matteo is holding onto David with an iron grip, not willing to let go of David for a second, like he is going to war. Laura is sat on the other side, running her fingers through David’s hair.

“It’s going to be okay.” Matteo whispers into David’s ear, though Matteo knows he is more saying for himself than David, but maybe both of them need to hear this, in reality.

“David Schreibner.” A nurse at the counter calls out, David turns over to press one last kiss to Matteo, as Matteo lets go, and he sees Laura walking with David to the counter where he sorts out the papers and gets herded away.

Laura comes back to sit next to Matteo. He is already biting his fingers with his nervousness.

“It is going to take a while…do you want to eat something before we go to the waiting room?”

It does not really register with Matteo, what Laura is saying, though he blindly nods, still trying to calm himself down and convince himself that everything will go fine.

He finds himself maneuvered to the hospital canteen, sitting down at one of the tables, while Laura leaves him alone, presumably to order some food.

 

_Sara_

“Is he in already? We will come later.” – 10:17

 

It kind of helps when your friends are incidentally your boyfriend’s best friends. He always finds this friendship between David and Leonie and Sara interesting, though he has long since concluded there is no way to figure out what makes them so tight unless one of them finally spills the secret about that. It is always good to have more moral support for David though.

 

_Matteo_

“He is just checked in, don’t know if he is in op yet, though it will take like 3 or 4 hours.” – 10:18

 

“Who’s that?” Laura asks as she sets down a tray in front of Matteo. It is a dish of Chicken Fricassee with rice, with an excessive amount of carrot pieces scattered over it. Matteo’s chef brain protests loudly at the state of the dish in front of him, but he figures he cannot complain too much about hospital canteen food. 

“Sara. They are coming later.” Matteo answers, now a bit calmer compared to his near panic state from letting go of David.

Laura hums. “Yeah, they told David last night.”

She digs into the food, which is the same as what she has got for Matteo, and makes a face.

“That chicken is dry.”

Matteo takes a bite himself and mirrors Laura’s disgust. “Love hospital food, eh?”

Matteo finds himself loosening up a bit more as he talks to Laura over the bad hospital food, mostly about the band and how Laura finds herself where she is right now as a musician, then they also talk about Matteo’s university years and Peach. It is good to have some distraction in the meantime.

 

* * *

 

_Freitag 13:47_

 

They have found their way into the waiting room, once Leonie and Sara showed up and joined Matteo and Laura in the canteen. Matteo spent the whole walk from the canteen to the waiting room complaining under his breath to Sara and Leonie about how badly cooked the chicken was, who just rolled their eyes in response. They know it is partly Matteo’s stress talking. 

They are now sitting on the benches in the waiting room, Laura with her earphones on, listening to some music, while Leonie and Sara are quietly talking with each other about something. Matteo is flipping through a book David has been reading recently, trying to figure out what is so special about this book that has David pouring over it sometimes. If he is being honest, he cannot figure it out. He figures it might be some book that fits with his pretentious hipster image.

He raises his head just in time to see a nurse trying to get Laura’s attention.

“Mr. Schreibner is now out of surgery, we are now transferring him to the post-op ward.”

 

* * *

 

Laura can see how Matteo perks up right at this moment. She knows Matteo is worrying a lot about her brother. Hell, even Laura herself has worried a lot for David, wanting everything to go as best as they could. Her brother only deserves the best, having fought this tough fight for himself for so long. 

“When can we go see him?” She asks the nurse.

“You can go now, in fact. Though he has not woken up yet from the anesthetic.”

They stand up to follow the nurse to the ward where David is located. It is not too long of a walk, but Laura can feel her anxiety for her brother surfacing a bit now that it finally hits her that her brother has just been through a major surgery.

She rounds the corner, with Matteo, Sara, and Leonie in tow, and then she sees him.

David is still out of it from the anesthetics, but she can see him lying there, in his hospital gown. His chest is flatter, and she knows that it is not because of his binder, but because David has finally gotten what he has fought for so long. She chokes up a bit, all the emotions bubbling to the surface. She is elated for David.

She can feel a hand resting against her back, offering some comfort. She turns and sees it is Leonie, who has a tiny smile playing on her lips. Laura knows that Leonie is the first person other than herself David really came out to, and they share the understanding of the significance of this moment.

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Matteo all but made a beeline for the chair next to David’s bed, reaching out and holding David’s hand. From what she has seen of Matteo, she can tell how soft Matteo is behind his usual snark and dumbassery, she can see how much love there is within this boy and how he gives it all to her brother. She can see how emotional Matteo is about this moment. Even though they have not been together for that long, there is such a deep, high-level connection between the two of them.

Sara is stood behind Matteo, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze. Laura makes her way closer to the foot of the bed, resting her hand on the bed table there, waiting for David to wake from his slumber.

David stirs, after a few moments, and he slowly blinks his eyes open.

“Beautiful face.” David mumbles as he reaches his hand out to run it down the side of Matteo’s face, who has a small smile at the contact.

Laura almost bursts out laughing at the comedy of how this is the first thing David utters waking up.

“How are you feeling?” Matteo asks quietly, holding his hand against David’s that is still resting on his face.

David considers the question for a moment. Laura can see his eyes wandering around.

“Feeling myself.” David whispers, growing more awake by the moment. There is a small smile growing on his face.

 

* * *

 

**4 November 2023**

_Samstag 11:24_

 

Matteo and Laura come back to the hospital early in the morning to keep David company, as well as to bring him home, if everything goes to plan. Matteo by instinct latches onto David's hand the moment he sits down on the bedside chair, while the two of them chatted about mundane things like what David has been up to in the ward overnight.

The doctor comes around to David’s bed, nearly an hour later, to check up on David to make sure he is good enough to leave the hospital safely, all the while with Matteo refusing to let go of David’s hand. 

David changes back into his clothes that he has packed for himself the day before, and they all walk back to the carpark. Laura leads the way, while Matteo walks with David even though he does not think he really needs help walking.

He knows, judging by how tightly Matteo is grabbing to his hand, that Matteo is just stressing about David's wellbeing even if he never talked about it directly with David. He is quite sure Matteo would kill anyone who tries to make him let go of David, David included.

They get back to Matteo’s Audi, with Matteo insisting that they take his car because it would be more comfortable for David, which on reflection is not untrue, when David settles into the plush passenger seat at the back, which is infinitely better than the cramped space of the Volkswagen Golf they would have otherwise taken. He lets himself be carefully buckled in by Matteo and Laura, careful not to have the diagonal bit of the seatbelt cross over David’s bandaged chest, instead having it behind his back.

Laura shoves Matteo into the backseat next to David, when he tries to get back out and make for the driver’s seat.

“Sit back there and hold my brother’s hand.” Laura commands. David rolls his eyes at that but he cannot help but smile.

“You just want to drive my car.” Matteo mutters half-heartedly.

“I just don’t want you to crash because I know you will be looking at him instead of the road.” Laura shoots back, as she turns the ignition on and drives off.

David runs his thumb over Matteo’s hand, they share a smile.

David is still letting it sink in, that he really just got his top surgery done, that this is not something conjured up in his dreams, but reality. That he has just taken a big step towards getting the body he has wanted for so long. It does not necessarily mean everything in life will go smoothly from now on, but it is nonetheless a major progression.

No more binder in the long run.

And he has loving family (Laura), friends (Leonie and Sara) and a boyfriend (Matteo) to walk with him through all of this.

 

* * *

 

 **10 November 2023**  

_Freitag 11:21_

 

The past week has been weird for David. He is confined to his own flat, and there will always be one of Laura, Matteo, Leonie or Sara, or more often, a mixture of the four of them, with him in the flat and watching him like hawks. Mostly he just either stays in bed, or lounges in the living room, his time divided between the television, his laptop, his sketchbook and the book he is reading. Going to the gym is out of the question, nor can he shower yet, and he can only do minor post-op care like using the ice packs when there is some pain with his chest.

Whenever he even thinks of moving a bit more than he is supposed to, the people at home with him will admonish him, herd him back to his perch on the sofa or in bed and makes sure that he does not strain himself. While he is incredibly annoyed by his general incapacitation and how everyone worries over him, he knows it is for the best, as he wants to have the best possible outcome from his surgery as well.

While they all do not tell David much about this, he knows that Laura has deliberately scheduled the band’s tours and studio time around this event months in advance, so she is mostly home, or if not home, running errands so the home is always stocked up on supplies for food as well as for David’s care. Linn sometimes comes over as well, though they do not say anything about this, David knows that Linn knows. Leonie and Sara usually show up together in the evening and have dinner with them, chatting with David and providing him with more entertainment and distractions through his extremely boring days. David knows that Matteo is sleeping on the couch, but Matteo waves it off every time he brings it up, wanting to suggest Matteo going home to his own bed. He goes to work every day, as David, with the help of Laura kicks him out of the flat so he can actually show up at his office, though half of the times Matteo comes back to the flat before the workday is even halfway finished. He would just sit next to David while working on his laptop, so David figures this may work as well, and he has more or less claimed control of the kitchen, as he cooks dinner for everyone every evening.

Today though, he finds himself out of the flat for the first time since he returned home from the hospital last week. He is again sat in the back seat of Matteo’s Audi, though this time it is actually Laura sitting next to him, and Matteo is the one driving. They are once again heading to the hospital, this time for David’s post-operation appointment.

“Keep your eyes on the road, Florenzi.” Laura digs at Matteo, just as David catches him glancing at him through the rear-view mirror.

“Wouldn’t dare to even risk to harm the most talented siblings in Germany.” Matteo mutters under his breath, as he turns into the hospital parking lot.

David smiles at Laura, sharing a look with her, at how Matteo just indirectly complimented both of them.

David gets himself checked in at the counter for his appointment, then he sits back in the uncomfortable seats in the waiting area between Matteo and Laura, leaning slightly against Matteo’s side, as they have minimal physical contact over the past week, aside from chaste kisses here and there and David leaning his weight against Matteo, like they are doing right now.

After a quarter of an hour of waiting, a nurse comes out and leads David into the doctor’s room, with Laura in tow, leaving Matteo to his own devices for a while.

Laura stays in the main room of the doctor’s office, as the doctor leads David off to the back room so he could have his bandages removed, and the doctor inspects his healing progress. This is also the first time David gets to see the results as well. As the bandages come off, David can feel himself tear up a little bit, getting a bit emotional about what he is seeing on his chest. He blinks the tears back into his eyes, willing himself not to cry right now.

The doctor applies some dressings to his chest, before David gets dressed again and returns to the main room, sitting down next to Laura. The doctor tells them about the post-operation care instructions that are important for David to follow, important things to note when he showers, when and how to apply dressing to himself. David cannot start doing cardio for at least another two weeks, though he is already accepting of the fact given he had not gone to the gym since going into operation anyway. There are also some specific instructions like avoid straining his chest for a longer period of time.

The doctor gives him a note sheet with all the instructions written down in case he forgets, and tells him to pick up the prescribed painkillers, dressings and the like and sends him on the way.

Matteo is nowhere to be seen when David and Laura come back out of the office, nor when after David picks up his prescriptions. David is about to text Matteo, when he walks into the hospital canteen, and sees Matteo having a staredown with a plate of Frikadelle with potatoes at one of the tables in the corner. They make their way over to Matteo.

David carefully plops down opposite Matteo, mindful not to strain himself. Matteo looks up at the disturbance from his epic staredown.

“Na?” Matteo asks.

“What’s going on here?” David asks, gesturing at the plate of half-eaten food with his head.

He knows what is going on, remembering Matteo complaining about the dry chicken in the dish the last time he was here. David finds it funny how Matteo decided to risk the ire of his taste buds and comes to the canteen again for another adventure in the world of hospital food.

“This tastes like rubber.”

David rolls his eyes at that. He has eaten bland food for the first few days, before he finally started eating the meals cooked by Matteo last night, so he is more qualified than Matteo to complain about bad food. But he also knows how Matteo is very particular about good food, so it is not really a surprise. The surprise is how Matteo decides hospital food is something he wants.

“Why are you eating it then?”

“I was hungry.” Matteo mutters.

He reaches out and pats Matteo’s hand. “Come on, let’s go outside and find something else to eat.

“Don’t you need to avoid salt? We are not eating out.” Matteo says, and David smiles at how Matteo remembers what David should or should not do or eat like the back of his hand.

“Well, let’s find you something to eat, since you’re always hungry. Laura and I will figure something out later.”

They got food from a takeout place on the way back from the hospital, getting a salad to go for David as well so he could have something to eat for lunch as well without needing to cook.

 

* * *

 

 **13 November 2023**  

_Sonntag 14:27_

 

David feels marginally more content, now that he can at least shower and clean himself, and over the past few weeks, the edits for his film are coming quite far along, and his attention is trained on watching through the product and sending back comments to the editors. They are a bit pressed on time, as David wants the picture locked version to be ready by the end of the month. But from what he has seen of the various sections of edited footage so far, he is quite happy about the product. 

He is now leaned against Matteo’s side, who is now playing a game on his phone. David cranes his head and sees that he is playing the new game Peach released.

“How is the game doing?” He asks offhandedly, while he turns his attention back to the screen, typing up the email to the editors about his comments on the footage and how he wants them to be tweaked.

“It’s doing well.” Matteo replies, although he is still very much paying attention to the game on his phone. As if it is an afterthought, he asks David after a few seconds, “How is the film?”

“Quite good. I think we can make the target. It helps that we started editing before we finished filming. I have seen nearly all of the footage through editing already.” David says absentmindedly as he finishes up the email, nuzzling his head up against Matteo’s.

He hits send, just as Matteo throws his phone aside and starts pressing kisses against David’s forehead. David sets his laptop aside and closes his eyes, letting himself bask in the affections Matteo is showering him in.

 “I missed you.” Matteo whispers into his ear, resting his forehead against the side of David’s head.

He knows it is hard on both of them, when the most they can do is some tame kissing, and nothing else, and that it would stay this way for at least another month.

David reaches out and laces their hands together. “Me too. Just another month, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They stay where they are for the rest of the afternoon, watching a film on David’s laptop, though neither of them is really paying attention, instead basking in the feeling of closeness of the other person.

 

* * *

 

**16 November 2023**

_Donnerstag 09:41_

 

Somewhere along during the week Matteo finally caved to David’s constant pestering of not wanting him to camp on the couch in the Schreibner household that he has all but claimed for himself and returned home to his own bed. Today though, Matteo is up early in the morning uncharacteristically, though for good reason.

He checks his weekend bag, then sweeps his own room again to make sure he has gotten everything he needs that are not his clothes. After he is finally satisfied, and honestly, stops stressing about this, he grabs his bag, waving goodbye to Hans who he bumps into in the kitchen and goes for his car.

He has actually worked diligently over the past few weeks, be it in the office or on his laptop while camping out in the living room at David’s, clearing many of his backlog. He has even planned this out properly, telling everyone that he is going to be out for a while, planning out in advance for people to deputise for him in his absence, while he is going to away.

Yeah, Matteo and David are going to drive out to Heidelberg today, or more accurately, Matteo is going to drive the two of them to Heidelberg, because even though he knows technically David is cleared to drive, he is not going to let him drive until he is further along in his recovery.

He makes the well-trekked short drive over to David, walks up the stairs to the door like he has done so many times before and knocks. Laura opens the door, like she has done so many times before, smiling and inviting Matteo in.

“Is he ready?” Matteo asks as he crosses the threshold.

Laura rolls her eyes. “At this rate, he is going to make you carry his whole closet to your car. I don’t know where you two are going but apparently that is happening right now.”

Matteo barks out a surprised laugh, as he goes to David’s room, poking his head in.

“Hey.” David greets when he spots Matteo.

As he enters the room, Matteo can see how David is still trying to squeeze another shirt into his gym bag.

“Hey.” Matteo greets back. “Do you really need to move your whole closet into this bag?”

“Unlike you, I do not have a whole closet of clothes in a flat halfway across the country.” David mutters as he tries to zip his bag. Matteo takes his hands off and helps David zip it up, not wanting him to strain himself, David trying to bat his hands away in the process.

“There is more than enough closet space for you there.” Matteo shoots back, his mouth running before he really considers the implications of what he has just said. He still has not realised what he has just said, until Matteo lifts the heavy bag off the bed, raising his head, about to ask if David is ready to go.

David is smiling at him softly. “I’ll make sure to make use of that.”

Matteo blushes beet red.

David kisses his cheek quickly as he makes his way out of the room, presumably to find Laura.

Matteo collects himself for a moment before he makes his way out as well with David’s bag.

David is already by the door, pulling on his shoes, as Laura slides up next to him by the door of David’s room.

“Take care of him, yeah?” Bumping her shoulder against Matteo’s.

“I will.” Matteo says determinedly.

Laura pushes him towards David, who is already leaning against the corridor wall, waiting for Matteo.

 

* * *

 

This is the first time Matteo makes the trip down south to Heidelberg with someone next to him. This well-travelled and familiar route has always been associated with his feeling of being drained, overwhelmed and wanting to retreat, but this time, there is another meaning. He is driving down with a person he loves, where they can be away from everyone, where they can maybe explore places and cities together, just the two of them, while David recovers from the surgery, without the pressure of a filming schedule, or a soon-to-be-released game. Matteo runs his right hand across David’s knuckles resting on the center console, smiling to himself.

 

_Donnerstag 17:24_

 

Matteo has stood firm in his resolve of not letting David drive, which explains why it took more than seven hours since they set off from the Schreibner household for them to get to Heidelberg, as Matteo takes longer and more frequent breaks (including a stop for lunch) to both rest his eyes and refill non-salty snacks for them to munch on during the trip. The other reason is that Matteo knows that the vibration from car travel may cause discomfort to David, even though the autobahn is well-paved, so more rests should be beneficial to both of them.

They have just pulled into the underground garage of Matteo’s apartment building, and Matteo brings David’s bag with him, not without batting David’s hand away from the bag beforehand and leads the way to the elevator and up to the flat.

He drops David’s bag in what his brain now calls David’s room in the flat, before coming back out to the living room to see David half lying on the couch. He ignores David, going to the kitchen to pour two cups of water for themselves, just like he has done that night when he first brought David home, placing one glass at the end table for David.

He then disappears into his room, rifling through the drawers for the thing he is looking for.

After a few minutes, he comes back out to the living room, seeing David is now upright and hydrated, judging by the empty glass. He stands in front of David.

“Hold out your hand.”

“Why?” David, being his typical self, challenges Matteo and cheekily refuses to comply.

“Just do it.” Matteo insists.

David holds out his hand, and Matteo pulls it out from his back pocket, dropping a set of keys onto David’s palm.

David widens his eyes.

“A set of keys for the flat.” Matteo says nonchalantly, plopping himself down next to David, while David plays with the keys in his hand.

“Are you sure?” David asks, staring at Matteo.

Matteo turns over to look at David, raising his eyebrows. “I love you, David Schreibner. Do you think I’m joking?”

He kisses David to emphasise the point, David quickly deepening the kiss as he lightly pulls Matteo half on top of him. They indulge themselves a little bit, before Matteo’s stomach growls. David pulls away, leaning back on the couch and bursts out laughing.

Matteo pulls away, flopping down on the other end of the couch and groans.

“When are you not hungry?” David gasps out between laughter.

Matteo groans louder in indignation, as David hauls himself onto his feet, standing in front of Matteo, tilting his head in question.

“Are we going to get food then?”

Matteo sighs defeatedly as he stands, grabs David’s hand as they go out in search of food.

They end up back at the Bavarian restaurant Matteo went to the last time he was here, before he ran into David. Matteo getting some _Schweinsbraten_ this time, while David gets a platter of cold cuts and some salad, still mindful of his salt intake which he has to keep low for his recovery, though he ended up eating a small piece or two of the roasted pork from Matteo’s plate. Matteo couldn’t really bring himself to deny David’s cute face when it is just a tiny bit of enjoyment for his taste buds.

After dinner, they go to the REWE City near Matteo’s flat together shopping for ingredients for food that Matteo is going to make for them. It has a very domestic feeling to it, what they are doing, it hits Matteo while they are picking out tomatoes from the vegetables section. He pauses for a moment to register that fact. David bumps his shoulder against Matteo’s from beside him with a tomato in hand. Matteo looks over to David, and fuck, he loves this man. They share a knowing smile and continues on their way in search of ingredients.

This is the first time Matteo sees a fridge of his, be it here or in the WG, being so fully stacked. It feels home.

 

* * *

 

 **20 November 2023**  

_Montag 12:23_

 

David hits the upload button on the screen. The full edited film has come through yesterday, and David has spent the rest of the day ignoring Matteo, fully engrossed with the film and looking for places that he wanted to have last-minute adjustments. He has sent back the short editing notes, and he woke up to the updated version earlier in the morning, and he decides that he is satisfied with the whole end product. 

Next thing he knows, the film is picture locked, and now he is uploading the full movie to the server for _the_ film festival, making use of the broadband internet Matteo has for this flat that he does not even live in that much.

He stands up from the desk, stretching his neck for a little bit, walking to the kitchen where Matteo is cooking lunch for them. They have all but camped in the flat for the past few days, not going outside at all and enjoying the quiet in the flat, sometimes talking to each other, sometimes reading things either from a book or on the internet, sometimes putting on another movie that David talks so much about, and everything else. Even just pulling two chairs out to the balcony, sitting there and looking out over the cityscape. He is getting a bit restless though. He may be barred from doing sports just yet, but simply not going anywhere for weeks on end is a bit too much for him.

He walks up behind Matteo, resting his hands on either side of his waist, and leaning his head on his shoulder, careful not to push his chest against Matteo’s back, lest he hurts himself.

Craning over Matteo’s shoulder, he can see that he is cooking some sort of chicken.

“What’s that?” He asks.

“Chicken Fricassee, going with rice.” Matteo gestures at the rice cooker on the side, which is already done.

He recognises the name of the dish, remembering sometime in the first week out of surgery, Laura recounting how Matteo incessantly complained about how dry the chicken was in that dish of hospital food while he was waiting for David to come out of surgery.

“You really like to prove that you can make food better than others.” David muses amusedly.

Matteo makes an indignant sound. “I just know that food should be made well.” He turns his attention away from the pot for a moment, turning to look at David. “Besides, you love my food.”

Which is not wrong. David loves what Matteo cooks very much. He just kisses Matteo’s squishy nose, dropping the discussion and leans against the counter instead. Matteo turns back to work on the pot.

“I want to go out.” David says.

“Where to?” Matteo asks, putting rice onto two plates, then plating the dish as well.

David thinks for a moment. “Just, outside. I need some sunlight on my skin.”

Matteo takes the plates to the dining table, setting them down side by side, David following him out, as he plops down next to Matteo.

David can see from Matteo’s face that he is thinking.

“You feeling good enough to go outside?”

Matteo, forever caring about how David feels. David loves this soft and gentle man. He is like the sun and only deserves the best in life, David thinks.

He cannot help but make fun of Matteo though, it is like part of the nature of how they are with each other. “Knowing you, I know I’m not going to be running let alone doing any physically demanding things.”

Matteo just lightly shoves at his shoulder before quickly catching himself, face suddenly filled with worry. “Shit. Did I hurt you?”

David just smiles and holds Matteo’s hand. “No, idiot. Let’s eat. The food isn’t going to eat itself.”

 

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, their routine changed. They start going outside together, exploring and visiting places.

First, it is Heidelberg. Matteo brings David with him on long walks along the Neckar, both wrapped in thick pullovers and jackets in the freezing wind. Then up to the Philosophenweg, another place where Matteo likes going to for clearing his head. After that, they go up to the Schloss again, this time actually going inside and exploring the remains of this historic castle. David also brings along his sketchbook a lot, often dragging Matteo to sit down next to him on a bench, while David starts sketching something that he finds interesting.

When the novelty of Heidelberg has worn off for David, Matteo starts driving them around to nearby cities for day trips. They go to Mannheim, where they get to see the Mannheimer Schloss, various churches of different religions, and goes on a long walk in the _Luisen Park_ where they spent the long afternoon walking around gardens and rivers.

Then it is Darmstadt, which is a center of modern architecture, including Hundertwasser’s Waldspirale which fascinated David so much, while Matteo stares at the odd-shaped building trying to figure out why anyone will build a building like that, and why David is so obsessed with it. While Matteo is not really big on religion, he cannot deny how beautiful the Russian Chapel in the city is, when they come across it. Alongside his sketchbook, David now also wields a camera which he incessantly takes pictures of things he finds beautiful, while Matteo obsesses over his boyfriend being so obsessed with being such a pretentious artistic guy.

They also go to smaller cities, like Sinsheim. While there is the obligatory historical buildings around, this place also appeals to Matteo, as he drags David along to the Auto und Technik Museum, which is littered with historical planes (some of which you can walk into), vehicles and the like, which, granted while Matteo is not proficient in how they work, but still gets him excited because technology is involved. David just huffs a lot while Matteo drags him from one place to the other, though he knows his boyfriend does not really mind being dragged around by Matteo.

As David’s recovery progresses on and can take longer walks, they start going to farther places. They visit Tübingen, where they marvel in the beauty of the old town, then they drive and walk through the black forest down south, and somehow, they get a boat rented in the dead of winter and boated around the Titisee, which they quickly regretted because how _cold_ it is outside, and retreated back to the shore. The furthest they have gone is Konstanz, where there is a mix of preserved medieval and renaissance buildings, which, again appeals to David’s artistic heart. Matteo loves it too, to be honest behind his half-hearted annoyance for how engrossed David gets about them, and if nothing else he loves these things just because they get David so excited and engrossed.

 

* * *

 

 **6 December 2023**  

_Mittwoch 16:21_

 

They also walk all the way from the center of Konstanz to the shore of Bondsee, where it is supposedly a beach, but no one is here, obviously due to the freezing winter weather. They just stand there, side by side, looking far into the distance of this enormous lake.

“We should go to the beach when summer comes back around.” David says next to him.

Matteo curls his arms against David’s, seeking some warmth even though both of them are wrapped up in layers of coats. “You want to go to the beach?”

Matteo liked going to beaches when he was younger. But between the meltdown that happened in his family, the pressure of school, as well as his depression, he just went out less and less, let alone going to the beach. Somewhere along the line, he just dropped it and never thought about going anymore. He knocks his head against David’s. “That sounds like a great idea.”

David smiles next to him. “I like beaches, ‘cause I’m that bitch.”

Matteo is startled into surprised laughter. What is that even supposed to mean?

“Jokes aside though, I can’t wait for summer to be back.” David says after they have calmed down from their laughter.

“But I thought you liked your winter clothes?” Matteo challenges, while his eyes rake over David. They still have not done anything with each other since David went into surgery, if you catch Matteo’s drift, and he would be lying if he had not dreamt of getting David’s hands on him again. His question is valid though, given David’s obsession with beanies and coats.

David is currently dressed in tight black pants, a turtleneck that covers at least several layers of clothes inside to keep him warm, a beige overcoat on top of that, and the obligatory beanie atop his head. Surprisingly, the pretentious hipster glasses have not made their appearance in a while. Matteo knew all along David does not need to wear glasses and only wears them for aesthetics reasons. This more or less proves his suspicions correct.

“Can I not like my winter clothes and like summer at the same time?”

Matteo just rolls his eyes and pulls away, muttering “Why do I love an idiot?”

David just catches up to Matteo as they start their long trek back to the city center, winding his arm behind Matteo’s back, who involuntarily melts into the touch. Matteo hates himself sometimes how his body betrays him to David all the time.

 

* * *

 

 **16 December 2023**  

_Samstag 10:28_

 

Matteo wakes up from his slumber feeling tired, as he stayed up late last night reading things he got sent, brainstorming and replying to emails for Peach. He is lying on his side and feeling warm. Granted, he has switched his duvet out for thicker ones, and the built-in oil-based space heaters in the flat are all turned on, so it should be no surprise that he feels warm.

But he also feels a heat source pressed to his back, and an arm trapping him on the bed, and a hand running up and down his stomach. It feels familiar. David.

David, who should be sleeping in _David’s_ room, which is next door. They have kept going to bed in their respective rooms while they are here, at Matteo’s insistence, because he is worried that he might accidentally injure David’s chest while he is asleep, if they are in the same bed. On the other hand, it also makes it easier for Matteo to… _pleasure himself_ , let’s say, at night, because he knows David could not _exert_ himself for a while, and he is more than okay with the fact, knowing it is for the best.

He catches the hand on his stomach with his own. “Morning.” His voice cracks from sleep, slowly turning over so he could lie flat on his back and turn his head to look at David.

David leans over and kisses his nose, while Matteo rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

“I missed you.” David whispers into his ear, his voice at least an octave lower. It sends a shudder through his body, and blood rushing south. Matteo is suddenly more awake than mere seconds ago. He can see the desire in David’s eyes, and judging by David’s little self-satisfied smirk, he thinks it is mirrored on his own face as well. David closes the distance between them, and Matteo responds to the kiss enthusiastically. They have done this a lot recently, long make-out sessions with each other when they cannot really do much more with each other, Matteo will take whatever he can get. He breaks away though, when he feels a hand trailing south.

“You sure?” Matteo asks while panting heavily.

“I don’t really feel the pain or discomfort anymore.” David holds his gaze, not moving his hand, waiting for Matteo’s response.

Which Matteo thinks is backwards, because of course Matteo wants David. He does not think he will ever stop wanting David. He is just so wary of anything that might cause discomfort to David or exert him in ways that he is not supposed to be while recovering. He knows it has been a month and a half since, so David should be clear for most physical activities if he is comfortable to.

He tells David as much. “If you’re comfortable, of course I want this.”

David is sitting upright in a flash, lightly pushing at Matteo, making him sit upright against the headboard as well. He pulls Matteo back into a kiss, quickly adding tongue into it, as his hand dips under the waistband of Matteo’s boxers.

They never stopped making out, while Matteo’s pants and boxers somehow find their way to the floor, and David’s hand working on Matteo, whose moans and noises are all swallowed by David as their mouths are like glued to each other.

Matteo comes apart embarrassingly quick. He leans his head against the headboard, eyes staring at the ceiling, trying to get his breath back under control and ignore the mess that is now on his t-shirt.

“I missed this.” Matteo pants, trying to ignore his embarrassment.

David chuckles next to him, that asshole.

“Stop laughing at me.” Matteo grumbles, pulling his dirty t-shirt off and throwing it on the floor, he is feeling warm enough either way. He can see David’s eyes raking over his body greedily.

“I’m not.” David mumbles, as if dreamily while obviously checking Matteo out, before he catches himself and meets Matteo’s eyes again. “It was good. I missed this too.”

Matteo gets his breathing back to normal, before he straddles David’s thick thighs, knocking his forehead against David’s. “Can I?”

“Of course.” As he lifts his hips, so Matteo pulls David’s pants down in one go.

David pulls Matteo back in for another kiss. “I’m a bit too dressed.” David says with feigned nonchalance.

Matteo’s eyes widen. The only piece of clothing David is wearing is his t-shirt, which David is pulling off right now. 

He has never seen David undressing in front of him since the surgery, and now he is greeted with the sight. No binder, a flat chest and two prominent scars. He looks back at David’s face, reaching his hand out.

David smiles and nods, reaching out and holding Matteo’s hands, as he guides him to run his fingers along David’s scars. Matteo mirrors David’s smile.

 

* * *

 

David’s heart bursts in joy, when Matteo leans down and presses several soft kisses along the scar tissues on his chest. He is very happy himself about how his body is like now, and Matteo’s gesture just makes his heart swell. He pulls Matteo back up, so they are now face to face and draws him into a deep kiss, putting all his emotions into it, Matteo responding with the same intensity.

When they eventually break apart, Matteo asks him with a beaming smile, “Are you happy?”

“Extremely.” David smiles back at Matteo.

“Let’s get back to business.” Matteo smirks suggestively. David slips back down from the headboard so he is lying down, and grabs Matteo’s hand and guides him down south, as Matteo starts rubbing at the places that he knows make David’s toes curl. Soon after, he makes Matteo use his fingers, and he can feel the jolts of pleasure coming from down south when Matteo curls his fingers at the right moments.

David can see Matteo getting hard again and is touching himself with the other hand. He reaches out to still Matteo’s motions.

“Go and grab a condom.” He whispers with his low voice.

Matteo’s eyes widen, but complies and rolls off the bed, as both of them know David is nearly always in control when it comes to their activities in bed. David sits back up, while Matteo climbs back into bed. He snatches the packet out of Matteo’s hand and pushes him back, so Matteo is lying down. He rolls the condom onto Matteo and sinks down. Both of them groan as it happens. David holds Matteo onto the bed as he starts riding and controlling the pace, Matteo whimpering beneath him. He speeds up when he feels himself getting close, and before he knows it, David tenses and starts shaking, waves of orgasm hitting him. Matteo groans a moment later, following David over the top.

David falls on top of Matteo, catching his breath before gingerly pulling off and flops down next to him, both of them panting heavily.

After a few minutes of cooling off, David sits up, then presses a kiss on Matteo’s forehead.

“That was amazing.” Matteo whispers, still lying on the bed.

He reaches over and pulls the condom off of Matteo, tying a knot and throws it in the bedside bin.

“You say that every time.” David replies when he is done. Sitting down next to Matteo, running his hand through Matteo’s sweaty hair.

“Doesn’t make it false.” Matteo runs his hand down David’s side.

“I mean, you are not too shit.”

Matteo stretches for a bit, before he retorts. “Not too shit? Don’t you mean the best?”

David rolls his eyes while standing up and pats Matteo’s stomach. “Let’s go and shower.” He walks out of the room in his all-naked glory, heading towards the bathroom. He pokes his head back into the room when he does not hear Matteo following. He sees him sitting up on the bed, staring at the door. David gets Matteo confusion, given that they have not been inside a shower together before.

“Are you coming?”

Matteo does not need to be asked twice.

 

* * *

 

**19 December 2023**

_Dienstag 14:37_

 

It has been more than a month since they drove down from Berlin, and only today had Matteo finally let David take the wheel, as they drive up to Frankfurt. It is just an hour’s drive, but David relishes the feeling of having control again. Matteo said nothing if he thought David drove a bit faster than comfort, blazing their way up north. 

They are now at Zeil, a shopping promenade in the heart of Frankfurt looking for clothes. Or more accurately, David looking for clothes both for himself and Matteo, while Matteo just tags along and goes into the fitting room to try out clothes David piles into his arms, mostly clothes that are better fitting than what he normally wears.

David is now again standing in an apparel shop, with several shopping bags held in one hand. He is leaning against the wall, having just herded a mildly-grumpy Matteo into the fitting room once again with several pieces of clothing David has picked out.

His phone rings, just as he is scrolling on his phone looking for the next shop they should hit for their shopping tour, an unfamiliar number showing up on his screen. He picks it up.

“Hello?”

“Hello. Is this Mr. David Schreibner?”

“Yes.”

“We are calling from the Film Office for Internationale Filmfestspiele Berlin.”

“Okay.” David holds his breath.

“Your film is selected for the Panorama section. It will be formally announced with the festival program and we will contact you via email about the submission of the Festival version and other logistical details.”

“Okay. Thank you.” David replies automatically.

“Have a nice day, goodbye.” Then the line cuts off.

David drops his phone, just as the door to the fitting room opens.

He sees Matteo looking between his face and his phone on the floor, and steps closer to David, still in the outfit David picked out for him to try.

“Is everything okay?” Matteo asks, after picking up the phone and handing it back to David, looking at him in the eye?

“Yeah…I” He is still processing the news. “I’m going to Berlinale, apparently.”

He can see Matteo’s eyes widen, then pulling him into a hug.

“Oh my god, David. Really?” He hears Matteo asking.

“Apparently so.” David says, the shock still not wearing off yet. He submitted the film for the screening of Berlinale just as a shot of luck to see if his film will be picked up so it gets to premiere there, and he thought if it does not, then he will go for the more realistic options, like the likes of Sundance.

Matteo pulls back so he can look at David’s face. “I’m so happy for you.” David can see the pure excitement, joy, and love on Matteo’s face and in his eyes. He wants to capture this moment in his sketchbook. Maybe he will tonight.

He focuses back in the moment and checks out Matteo in the outfit. It is a light grey turtleneck with a pair of black twill pants, plus a nondescript, buttonless black overcoat thrown over him. David approves of this look. They are buying this as well.

 

* * *

 

_Dienstag 19:02_

 

The sun has set for hours by now, and they have just they are loading their purchases into the back of the car, which comprises mostly of clothes for both of them, because David does intend to leave some of his clothes in Heidelberg, and he also wants to dress Matteo a bit better; and there are also some other items they picked up along the way that they may use as gifts for family and friends, as they both belatedly realise Christmas is around the corner, when they see the Christmas-y decorations of shops left, right and center. 

“I still don’t get why I have to get new clothes too.” Matteo mutters as he places the last of the bags into the back.

David gives Matteo a conspiring look, stepping closer and whispering lowly into his ear. “You will look _so much hotter_ in those.” He pulls away after saying that, raising his eyebrows in emphasis, and starts walking away towards the driver’s seat.

He barks out a laugh when it finally hits Matteo and he hears Matteo groaning.

 

* * *

 

**20 December 2023**

_Mittwoch 22:05_

 

It is safe to say that everyone misses them a lot, as they scroll through their messages in bed before falling asleep.

 

_Jonas_

“Ey Luigi, I see all the pictures on your Instagram. Are you coming back sometime soon though?” – 10 Dec, 15:23

 

_Matteo_

“Not yet.” – 10 Dec, 19:04

 

_Mama_

“My sunshine, I saw the video of you at EGX!” – 13 Dec, 17:01

“Will I see you soon? It’s Christmas, bring David along!” – 13 Dec, 17:02

 

_Matteo_

“We’re out of town but we’ll come by when we’re back.” – 13 Dec, 17:28

 

_Hans_

“Will you be here for the Christmas party?” – 17 Dec, 11:21

 

_Matteo_

“Maybe.” – 17 Dec, 13:13

 

_Amira_

“Did you secretly get married?” – Today, 14:34

 

_Matteo_

“Funny.” – Today, 14:36

 

_Amira_

“I know.” – Today, 14:37

 

* * *

 

_Leonie R._

“How’s recovery?” – 16 Dec, 15:51

 

_David_

“Feeling good, it’s going well.” – 16 Dec, 15:52

 

_Laura_

“Are you coming home for Christmas?” – 18 Dec, 10:40

 

_David_

“I think we will, I haven’t talked to Matteo about it yet.” – 18 Dec, 13:07

 

_Asshole_

“Are we driving back tomorrow?” – Today, 14:22

 

Sun

“Are you giving me a chance to change my mind?” – Today, 14:24

 

_Asshole_

“No.” – Today, 14:24

“Just reminding you.” – Today, 14:25

 

Sun

“Asshole.” – Today, 14:26

 

* * *

 

**21 December 2023**

_Donnerstag 07:41_

 

They are already up and about. David is now packing up their bags, as well as the shopping bags of things they have brought back from Frankfurt a few days ago, readying up for their trip back to Berlin. Matteo, in his sleepy state, has wandered off to make breakfast, David figures it will be some sort of sandwich, given they have cleared the fridge of most things already. It is still dark out, deep inside winter the daylight hours are significantly shorter than it was in summer. David drags the bags out with him and drops them onto the couch.

He pops into the kitchen to check in on Matteo, to see what he is doing, and is greeted by the sight of Matteo cramming some ham, egg, and cheese into several breakfast muffins. Matteo turns towards him when he hears David approaching, leaning forward for a kiss. He is always extra clingy when he is half-asleep.

David pecks Matteo, then reaches around Matteo to pick up a muffin and taking a bite. Matteo follows suit, as the two of them just eat in silence, with each other, their chewing noises filling the air. David realises they do not have tea/coffee yet, so he rounds Matteo and finds a teabag and some instant coffee in the drawer, making both their drinks. He takes a sip of his own fruity tea, and hands the coffee to Matteo, complete with the amount of milk that he knows Matteo likes.

Matteo takes several sips of the coffee, as David starts munching on another of the muffins. After a while, Matteo places the cup back on the counter.

“Do we really have to go back?” Matteo mumbles, the first sentence to come out of his mouth for the day.

David rolls his eyes, though he puts down his muffin. “ _Teo._ ”

Matteo stops picking up the muffin, mid-motion, and looks at David.

“I’ve enjoyed the past month here with you. People miss both of us though, so will you go back with me to Berlin?” He asks lightly, though Matteo already has a smile breaking out on his face as soon as he heard the first sentence.

“David,” mimicking the tone and speech pattern of David’s question. “I will be with you, wherever you are.” Matteo says.

 

* * *

 

_Donnerstag 10:13_

 

David has taken the wheel with predictably minimal protests from Matteo, who is now asleep in the passenger seat next to David. Thankfully, it is not snowing on this stretch of autobahn, so David is making the most of it and driving a bit quicker, hoping to make it in time for lunch in Berlin. They are now already on passing through Thuringia.

Matteo’s phone starts ringing. David is about to slow down for the next rest stop to look at who it is, when Matteo wakes up from his nap and blindly accepts the call.

“Hello?” He can hear Matteo mutter. He glances over and sees Matteo’s face contorting.

Then he can hear Matteo start saying some words intelligible to him. It hits him that Matteo has switched to Italian after a beat of confusion, though he can make it out that Matteo sounds irritated and a bit harsh.

He stays silent, trying to focus on the road, though looking for the next major rest stop so he can hopefully give Matteo his undivided attention and figure out what if everything is alright.

Just as he pulls off to the rest stop, Matteo hangs up on his phone and throws it atop the dash of the car, folding his arms and turning away. David pulls into a parking spot and put the car into park, then reaches out to touch Matteo on the arm.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” Matteo replies quickly, though his tone and posture are major giveaways.

“ _Teo_ , look at me, please.” David pleads.

Matteo reluctantly turns over and looks at David.

“Is everything okay?” David asks tentatively.

“No.” Matteo whispers.

He unbuckles so he can turn and face Matteo properly. He leans over and takes his hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Matteo stays silent for a few moments, looking at their entwined hands.

Eventually, Matteo starts, “It’s my father.”

David hums. He remembers Matteo talking about his father, though he waits for Matteo to continue.

“He asked if I want to go down to Italy, for Christmas.”

“Oh.”

If David remembers it correctly, Matteo told him that he has not spoken to his father for at least a year, if not more. It comes as a surprise.

“I told him to fuck off.”

David grips Matteo’s hand a bit tighter. He can hear the pain in his voice and he feels a bit of pain for his boyfriend too.

“That’s totally alright.” David reassures him.

Matteo smiles a little, maybe wistfully. “I just miss Italy.”

 _But not his father_. David does not need Matteo to say it out loud to understand.

“Let’s go there some time.” David suggests, on impulse.

Matteo looks at him for a moment, the smile slowly blooming. “Yeah?”

“I promise.” David says determinedly.

 

* * *

 

_Donnerstag 13:01_

 

David has texted early in the morning that he is making the drive back, though both he and Matteo have been hush-hush about where they were or what they have been up to over the past few weeks, aside from several pictures on Matteo’s Instagram of both of them, as well as the usual cryptic and pretentiously artsy things that David posts on his.

Leonie and Sara showed up roughly an hour ago, after Laura told them that David is coming back into town, while Laura got the roast into the oven, making a more festive meal for this quasi-spontaneous meetup.

“You’re glowing.” Laura comments as she sees David come into the living room, a few moments after hearing the front door opening.

“Well, he is in love.” Leonie says next to Laura on the couch, without even looking up from her laptop.

David rolls his eyes at the comment, about to say something as a retort when Laura hears another set of footsteps and sees a body, Matteo, wrapping himself around David from behind.

Laura notices that Matteo is much more well-dressed than she can ever remember. He is in a patterned shirt with a grey sweater thrown over him, and a pair of proper-fitting, or even skinny, jeans. He also has a black overcoat thrown over him. Laura strongly suspects Matteo picked up some of his style from David, or maybe David took it upon himself to dress his boyfriend.

Sara snorts at the dining table, smiling at the two. “Just proves her point.”

David just ignores all of them and drags Matteo with him into his room, as Laura observes that they have quite a number of shopping bags with them.

“How was the honeymoon?” Sara yells after their retreating forms, Matteo raising his middle finger in response as they disappear through the doorway, though they return quickly after that, now without their coats. Matteo plops down at the dining table while David squeezes himself between Laura and Leonie.

“What are they doing here anyway?” He asks Laura.

Before Laura can even answer, Leonie cuts in, asking jokingly, “You don’t need us now that you have him?” and pointing at Matteo.

“Putting our friendship to the test, are we?” David jokes back.

“We are waiting for the roast to be ready, to answer your question.” Laura interjects, standing up and heading to the kitchen to check on the food.

Laura can see how Matteo grows alert at the mention of food, as he stands up and follows Laura, asking, “What did you make?”

“Pork tenderloin, roasted with harissa.” Laura supplies.

Matteo kneels down in front of the oven like an excited kid, peering into it. Laura smiles at his excitement. She can also see David leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, smiling fondly at his boyfriend. It has hit Laura several times over the past few months, but she can tell her brother is so whipped for this messy boy, and they seem to complement each other well, both of them glowing in each other’s presence, as Linn told her how she thinks Matteo is replaced by a happier version of himself while they were touring together across Europe.

“You have to teach me how to do this. Hans never teaches me his roasting recipes.”

“The Hans who thinks I kidnapped Linn?”

“Well Hans is right, isn’t he?” David joins the conversation, smirking at Laura. She hates her brother.

“We’re not.” Laura says as she brushes past David, returning to the living room.

“If she’s not teaching me how to do this, I’m blaming you.” Laura hears Matteo whisper-shouting at David. She shares a look with Leonie and Sara, rolling her eyes fondly. They are both idiots.

 

* * *

 

 **23 December 2023**  

_Samstag 22:53_

 

The place is crowded. And by crowded, Matteo means high-school parties level crowded. It is not that far from the truth, to be fair, judging by the fact how many familiar faces from high school Matteo is seeing around him. The WG has been (relatively) quiet so many years, he has almost forgotten how it used to be, and how it used to overwhelm him so much.

He still finds it a bit much, to be fair, though he is now sat on the couch, which is pushed all the way up against the window, leaning into David, who has his arm wrapped around his torso, holding his hand. Both of them have a bottle of beer in hand, David’s being his first in two months.

“I definitely don’t miss the beer.” David mutters as he takes another sip of the beer.

“Yeah, should I bring out a bottle of wine for you instead?” Matteo answers absent-mindedly, playing with David’s fingers.

“I’d rather save it for later.” David replies, pulling Matteo a bit closer, pressing a kiss to his messy hair. Matteo thinks he should get his hair cut some time soon.

Everyone in the flat is partying mad, dancing around each other while holding a bottle of something or another, as if they are seventeen all over again, and not twenty-two, or however old they are right now. Some people are just always so youthful and energetic. Matteo, if you ask him, prefers to have a more low-key, quiet night with David, and maybe a few other people. Only David works too.

He can see from the corner of his eyes that Laura is stood in the corner, deep in conversation with Hans, both of them apparently very engrossed, with their interactions complete with hand gestures and waving. He finds it funny how the two of them seem to be getting along just fine, when Hans have been complaining for so long that Laura kidnapped Linn. There are also quite a number of people Matteo cannot recall the names of trying to talk to Laura, which is understandable, he guesses. Exorcism is super popular right now, after all.

David chuckles next to him. Matteo turns over to see him observing the same interaction, and figures he is thinking about the same thing. His eyes quickly dart around the flat, but he cannot tell where Leonie and Sara are now. To be fair, he cannot tell where _any_ of his friends are, in this huge sea of people. He can only see Jonas pushing through a crowd of people with two beers in hand, presumably one of them being for Hanna. He also thinks he saw Kiki and Carlos making out intensely against a wall a few minutes ago. He prays he has remembered to lock the door to his room before the party started.

He is drawn out of his musings by David pulling at his hand.

“Do you really think it is okay to not have any presents for your mother? For tomorrow night?”

“She told me not to bring anything.” Matteo reassures David. He adds, when he sees David ready to protest, “She’s chill. She loves you.”

David brought something with him anyway, on the next day. Matteo rolled his eyes at that, but he smiled when his mother unpacked it, at the urging of David, and realised that it is a drawing of both of them, against the backdrop of nature, maybe somewhere they have been to in the past month. He also realises that David has used colours in the drawing, as opposed to the black-and-white that is prevalent in his sketchbook. David just smiled when Matteo raised his eyebrows at him in question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if there are any inaccuracies in how I wrote this chapter!  
> As always, please comment :)


	18. “I’ve been thinking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited and Unbeta'd.
> 
> I remember myself dawdling over this chapter excessively when I was writing this, as I planned for this arc to go an entirely different way than how it ends up (this chapter you're seeing). I ended up taking out one or two elements from the fic to accommodate the change, but I think I am still happy with how this went, and it is kinder on both davenzi and all of us.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

**1 January 2024**

_Montag 00:00_

 

A lot of sounds can be heard reverbing around the city. The countdown and new year cheers of the crowds and parties celebrating Silvester; the church bells ringing to welcome the new year; the fireworks exploding above the Alex in celebration of the new year.

Right as the clock strikes midnight, on the balcony of the WG, Matteo draws David close, pulling him into a kiss in the silence amidst the frenzy that is going on all around the city. It is good that they have a sanctuary of their own, when all of Matteo’s flat mates are out celebrating somewhere else.

Matteo raises his wine glass, as David mirrors his actions, toasting each other.

“To a good year?” Matteo says.

“To a good year for us.”

 

* * *

 

 **9 January 2024**  

_Dienstag 07:43_

 

David has just come back from his morning run around the block. He has done a shorter run than usual, partly because he is a bit tired from some nightly activities. He tiptoes back into the flat, and heads straight for the shower. Even when you are running in winter, there is no way you would not sweat, especially when one push yourself as David does. It is a force of habit really, pushing himself to the limits. He is doing better than he has been in years past, but the edge is still there.

He towels himself off and pulls on the fresh change of clothes, then tiptoes his way back into his room.

Unsurprisingly, Matteo is still laid on his stomach, fast asleep. David looks at the bedside clock and gives in to the urge to climb back into bed with Matteo.

He is roused from his slumber by the bed dipping, as Matteo blindly reaches out to touch David.

He smiles as he runs his fingers through Matteo’s hair. “Hey. How’re you feeling?”

“Sore.” Matteo mumbles into his pillow. “But happy.”

David leans over and presses a kiss onto Matteo’s back. “I didn’t hurt you too bad?”

Matteo turns his head over, a small smile playing at his lips, eyes still closed. “I liked it. A lot.”

David scoots closer to Matteo, wrapping an arm over his torso. “I have to go do some filming later today, but the bed is too tempting right now.” He mumbles into Matteo’s hair.

“Oh, why is that?” Matteo queries, way too cocky for an early-morning Matteo.

“Shut up.”

 

* * *

 

_Dienstag 12:03_

 

David sees some familiar faces on the crew, as a gaggle of people start to build up in his little office in the outskirts of Berlin. There is a notable absence though. A major one, if you ask David. The person working as the assistant director for this short film project is not Leonie Richter, in her stead, is an experienced guy David picked up on a gig basis. He is competent at his job, as David skims over the list again, but it is unfamiliar territory after all.

You cannot really fault Leonie though. Her degree was in media management after all, and it was all sort of a huge coincidence that she ends up being his right-hand for the past few years. She has been offered a job as an assistant production manager for a film studio in Germany, which is more compatible to what she actually studied to be, and adding her experience working with David on top of that, it is really not that bad of a job offer, and it is definitely more stable.

He turns his attention back to the assembled crew here. They have done the casting and everything else recently, and this is the first day everyone is here. David figures he would go over the concept of the whole thing with everyone. It is not really that complex, as it is just a short film, so it would probably not take too long for it to come together.

Of course, short films are not necessarily that formidable when you look at it from the financial aspect, but it is a good platform for him to toy with some ideas in view of using them in a longer film somewhere down the line.

This new short is much more focused on a topic that David has strong feelings and opinions about. He is not entirely sure why he is doing it now, as he has always been reluctant to broach the topic directly and explicitly until now. But he reasons to himself that it is just short films, so he can have fewer worries about it.

Gender and sexuality. David is not necessarily talking about himself through this series of short films he is planning to make, but he feels there are scant few contents in the media nowadays that give accurate treatment to these topics. It has always been some sort of stereotypical portrayals of people in the LGBTQ+ community, and David wants to have some film that focuses more on the people. How they are also people with their own lives, how they have different struggles in life within themselves, and also those not faced by people in the cis-heteronormative society, and how far away from the stereotypes can people really be, and everything else. There will still be dystopic elements in these films, as that is David’s brand, but it is largely a departure from his past projects given that it is not overarchingly dystopian. These short films are all different from one another. This one he is about to film is a story about a guy’s journey to self-realisation. There are several others he is thinking about that would have elements of hyperrealism in lieu of a credible plot, and another one that is more metaphorical in approaching the issue, like how it has often been the case in his past projects.

He has cast fresh-faced actors from the LGBTQ+ community for these films too, as he is strongly of the opinion that, while not _typecasting_ , visual media should cast the type of people who would fit and know the role intimately, especially when it comes to minorities that are fundamentally disadvantaged in this field. Everyone is new to this, even David himself, if he is being honest. But he thinks whether the end product is good or not, it will be a good experience for everyone involved. Aside from the financial aspect, which David does not really care too much about, there is not really too much of a downside to this project, should it come up short.

 

* * *

 

**12 January 2024**

_Freitag 15:22_

 

David has wrapped up the day’s shooting around the top of the hour and is on his way to grab lunch from a nearby café, when his phone starts exploding in his backpack. He ignores it for the time being, as far as he is concerned, he is starving to death, as he may have inadvertently skipped lunch earlier. Food is his main priority. God, he is starting to sound like Matteo.

He has just settled down in the corner of this hipster-y café with his tea and a sandwich, when he pulls out his phone, and is greeted with a wall of texts on his lock screen.

 

_Sun_

“Sara just screamed in the phone about Berlinale. Is it official?” – 15:14

 

_Laura_

“You are going to the Berlinale????” – 15:15

“Have you ever thought of, I don’t know, telling me?” – 15:16

 

_Sara A. @ We filmed_

“Leonie is currently losing her shit seeing her name as assistant director for the film.” – 15:17

“But seriously, David, you knew before us, do you?” – 15:17

 

_Mario S._

“Hey David, I just heard the news about your film. You deserve it!” – 15:18

 

_Sun_

“Nvm, just saw the group chat.” – 15:18

(Links attached) – 15:20

“Anyway, can you come over tonight? :)” – 15:20

 

_Joachim R._

“Congratulations on your film. Do you have time for lunch with us some time? It’s been a while” – 15:20

 

_Jonas A._

“David! The film is going to Berlinale??” – 15:22

“Luigi just told me.” – 15:22

 

David scrolls quickly through more notifications that he does not care to read. But judging by the messages and his exploding twitter mentions, it seems like everyone and their mother all just somehow simultaneously found out his film got selected for Berlinale. It is not like he submitted his film for competition anyway. It is just for Panorama, but he figures it is still sort of a milestone for him as a filmmaker.

Out of everyone crowding his WhatsApp messages, it is surprisingly his boyfriend who has the thought of attaching whatever information that is causing everyone to freak out about it. He clicks on the first one. It leads him straight to a press release by Berlinale.

 

 

 

> _“…are delighted to announce the first 20 titles of the 2024 Panorama programme. 14 feature and six documentary films, representing a total of 17 production countries, have already been invited to screen at the festival. 15 of the films will be celebrating world premieres in Panorama. Eight of the selected works are first films, including directorial debuts from actors…”_

David starts scrolling through the introduction, intent to scroll through the list to find where his name is, just to be greeted by his film and his name right at the top of the pile.

 

 

 

> _Monochrome - Germany_
> 
> _by David Schreibner_
> 
> _with Jonas Augustin, Sara Adamczyk, Noah Stüber, Asya Yakut_
> 
> _World premiere - Debut film_
> 
> _David Schreibner’s directorial debut brings to the table a tale about the fight for change, youth and the future, abandonment, dystopia and the perils of inaction towards social issues. Several youths find themselves isolated in the fight for their future, but maybe to fight is the only way out._
> 
>  

That looks pretty standard, if you ask David. Maybe a bit more eye-catching, given that it is right at the top, but it does not mean much, as there are so many good directors that come to the table with good films even when they are not in competition. 

He clicks on the second link Matteo sent him, who noted “People are tweeting this at you, read at your own risk” after the link.

He opens and sees that it is some sort of entertainment industry news gossip website thing that he does not know how to describe their genre properly. But, one of those. He reads the title and skims through the content, which seems pretty standard, talking about the announced programme of Berlinale so far, and highlighting some films. Then something catches his attention.

 

 

 

> _“…and in Panorama, German director David Schreibner (22) is set to make his directorial debut at the Berlinale as one of the youngest directors in the currently announced program. Little is known about Schreibner, aside from the fact that he is rumored to be the brother of Laura Schreibner (27), the lead singer of the popular Exorcism band. He also possesses a YouTube channel where he archived his film work from film school and has built a significant following of no less than tens of thousands of followers on both YouTube and Twitter. A quick scroll at his Twitter will reveal there is little information other than scant tweets about his work and some retweets about news in the film industry, making him an enigmatic figure that has a cult-like following, despite his youth and lack of notoriety in the industry…”_
> 
>  

David closes the link and takes a breath, then takes another bite at the forgotten sandwich that is on the plate in front of him.

 

* * *

 

 **17 January 2024**  

_Mittwoch 17:08_

 

What David realises, is that both his Twitter and YouTube following has been climbing slowly but steadily. There is now little blue tick next to his name on his social media, and he has all but turned off notifications for them, as his phone would otherwise just keep vibrating all day and all night long. The only sacred place is Instagram, as like Matteo, he keeps his account private and free from people he does not really know.

He does not know if he is just being too aware of his surroundings and a bit paranoiac, or if it is really happening, but he cannot help but feel people _look_ at him when he walks past. He low-key regrets having a picture of himself somewhere deep inside his Twitter timeline, now that people start to know _who_ David Schreibner is, and connects the name to a face. He largely ignores the attention, as he continues walking down the Torstraße, wrapped in the black buttonless overcoat that he chose for Matteo. He rounds the corner to the entrance of the building and makes the familiar trip up to _Peach_ ’s office. He is in a relatively good mood, as he likes what he has seen of the short film he is filming so far, and he just needs another day or two of filming to get that wrapped up.

By now he is already a familiar sight in Matteo’s offices, and he does not even bother stopping at the reception to tell the girl at the desk he is here for Matteo, as the people in here know he is someone Matteo knows anyway. Neither of them is consciously hiding their relationship, when you see how David kissed Matteo on the final filming day at Wünsdorf, with much of the crew in the vicinity; or how often David shows up at Peach and slips into Matteo’s room, often with a takeaway bag. But it is another thing to scream the fact into the world. They just don’t care what people other than family and friends think about this.

He slips into Matteo’s office and sees that he is not in the office. That is not a big issue, as he is probably off somewhere else having a meeting or trying out a new game or something. He sets his backpack down on the loveseat and moves to water the few plants he has placed alongside the original one, which Matteo told him is a gift from Amira. When he is done with that, he sits down on the loveseat, pulling out his sketchbook, continuing on the drawing of the swimming pool has been working on recently.

The door to the office opens a while later, and David raises his head to see Matteo walking in with the thermos mug David brought for him recently. Matteo, though, looks to be deep inside his head, as he fails to notice David until he sits down in his chair, looking up and making eye contact with David.

“Hey.” Matteo stutters out, eyes widening and standing up again, making his way over to David. “You didn’t tell me you’re coming.”

David notices Matteo’s smile is a bit strained and he can read from his face that something is _wrong_ , he knows not to push just yet though, and accepts the hug Matteo is offering.

“Everything good?” David asks lightly, without pointing out Matteo’s unusual demeanour.

Matteo shrugs. David notices it is stiff. “I guess. Just a bit tired.” He leads David to his desk so David is right in front of him, while he picks up his iPad lying on the desk, and starts scribbling things onto it with a stylus.

“Tell me about your day.” David prompts, while he closes his sketchbook and gives Matteo his undivided attention, even though Matteo is busying himself with something.

Matteo starts talking about the several new gaming projects that are coming along and some of the issues they are facing; then about the several interviews he has had with prospective employees that they are looking to hire to expand the company’s operations; then a meeting with investors that he is really not that interested in. He also briefly mentions he has a side project lying around somewhere, though he does not further elaborate.

It is nearly 18:00, when Matteo sighs and puts down his iPad, looking David in the eyes.

“I saw some things on Twitter.” Matteo tells David, breaking the silence that has been hanging over them.

“I don’t look at Twitter.” David muses, “What did you see?”

“Just…us.” Matteo mutters while he opens Twitter on the iPad, typing in something, then turns it over so he can place it in front of David.

In front of him, are some of the popular posts in the tag #DavidSchreibner. He reaches out and starts scrolling through it. There is not really something that is spectacular in it, just a lot of chatter about his projects and Berlinale in general. He is about to scroll past a photo that has not yet loaded when Matteo reaches out to scroll back up and taps on the post. Then David sees what that is.

 

 

 

> **MoviEnter News** _@movienter_ · Jan 13
> 
> _A viewer sent me this earlier today! “Took this picture in Frankfurt last month. It seems to be #DavidSchreibner with a male friend out shopping in the city.” @DavidSchr_
> 
> _(Picture)_

 

David clicks on the picture, and there he sees himself, in the beige overcoat that is now draped over the back of Matteo’s seat (they swapped coats today). You cannot really see Matteo’s face, as the angle of the picture has David’s head obscuring Matteo’s, but you can make out the blond hair and the baggy clothes that you would not miss anywhere if you know Matteo. Both of them are holding several bags in hand.

He sighs and looks at Matteo, who just clicks at the handle of this account and scrolls for another post.

 

 

 

> **MoviEnter News** _@movienter_ · Jan 14
> 
>  
> 
> _A keen-eyed viewer sent me this screenshot from @gamesgator‘s video at EGX Berlin: Someone who looks like @DavidSchr in audience for the panel about mobile gaming. One of the panelists, @matteohno has the same wild blond hair as the guy in the Frankfurt picture. #DavidSchreibner_
> 
> _(Screenshot)_
> 
>  

Both of the tweets have several thousand likes. David scrolls back to the top of this profile. Apparently, this person behind the account is someone that makes videos and blog posts about the entertainment industry, and somehow they are now taking a keen interest in gossip about David.

He can understand now, why Matteo seems to be so tense today. Don’t get Matteo or David wrong, Matteo is comfortable with his sexuality and his relationship with David, but he hates unwanted attention, especially when he is unprepared. This is very much one of those situations, where people being suddenly invasive about David drags Matteo into the circus.

Matteo scrolls back down once again, and clicks on a recent tweet, again accompanied by a picture. David does not like this. The obsession is a bit unreal.

 

 

 

> **MoviEnter News** _@movienter_ · Jan 16

>  
> 
> _@DavidSchr spotted with @matteohno in Berlin earlier this week!_
> 
> _(Picture)_
> 
>  

David recognises the picture, they were on a spontaneous evening walk through the Tiergarten on Sunday afternoon, and it must have been taken then. David is in a grey overcoat, while Matteo in the black one that David is wearing today.

He tears his eyes away from the tablet and reaches out to take Matteo’s hands.

“I’m sorry, _Teo_.”

He hates this too. David dislikes people getting into his personal life uninvited, and he also dislikes not having control. People are inserting themselves into his life, and he resents this a lot. But they are both quasi-public figures, so things like these could happen to them. He cannot help but feel the guilt of having dragged Matteo into this though.

“No, David. I’m not ashamed of this.” Matteo cuts him off. “I just hate that people think they can do whatever they want.”

“Fuck them.” David says, venomously.

Matteo just sighs and stands up, rubbing his face with his palms. David is surprised that Matteo did not make a joke about who he would like to fuck.

“Let’s just go home.” Matteo says quietly, when he rounds the table.

David stands up to follow, pulling at his elbow. “We will figure this out together.”

 

* * *

 

 **19 January 2024**  

_Freitag 13:44_

 

Matteo is sitting lazily on the couch of David’s flat. He has taken today off, as he has been in the office until way past midnight, trying to figure out the niggling issues to the planned updates for the recently-released game. He ended up solving some of the major issues, with the help of his team of engineers, and the remaining rough edges should be solved today, as they already got started on them last night. David texted him an hour ago that he is going to get take out for both of them on his way back to the flat. 

He is replying to an email on the phone when David comes in through the front door. David puts the bag in front of them on the coffee table in front of him and flops down next to Matteo, taking out a box for himself and starts eating.

Matteo presses send and gets his box as well.

“Rare to see you so hungry.” Matteo remarks.

“It’s nearly two in the afternoon, of course I’m hungry.”

They eat in silence for a while, until David speaks up again. Matteo is already done with his serving of food.

“I’ve been thinking.”

Matteo hums, gesturing for David to continue.

“What about we go on a date – ”

“We do that a lot.”

“ – and we post a picture on Twitter or something?”

Matteo raises his eyebrows. It can work. It is an undeniable fact that David is his boyfriend, and if Matteo has his way, it will not change anytime soon. If people are so hell bent on getting invested in what is going on between them, then just making it clear what they are could be a way to just shut them up and hopefully make them move on. He has no problem with showing off his boyfriend, he just doesn’t want to get fixated about his or David’s life. Of course, the reverse is that there is also a risk that people get even more interested in them, but he figures when the layer of mystery gets torn away, the appeal of this will decrease for the nosy people anyway.

 

* * *

 

“Okay.”

Matteo agrees more easily than David thinks he would, but at the end of the day, it is mostly attention on the internet, and they can close the app or website and focus back on real life, on people and things that really matter. Though there is still one more thing he wants to do with this.

“I also want to come out.”

He can see Matteo’s eyes widen with worry. David of course understands his worry. David told him the story of himself growing up. The pain and fear and the maltreatment from people around him. Society is better these days, but there is still a big gap to bridge for there to be sufficient education for the populace on sexual orientation and gender identity, and to achieve real equality for the LGBTQ+ community. What really changed, is that David thinks he is at a better place in life now. He is still a new face in the industry, but he has already finished a film that is going to premiere at the Berlinale. Even if he does not get to direct another film any time soon, he is still in demand for other gigs, like advertisements and theatre productions, as he has done in years past. He can hold his own in this wide world, and there will always be somewhere for him to be. He has his sister. He has friends like Leonie and Sara. He has Matteo. He _might_ even have Matteo’s friends, who he may call his own friends now as well, and they never stuck him as close-minded individuals (Matteo even complained that his friends like David more than himself). He treasures what he has close to him, and when all else fails, he will always have people that matter who love him.

David just wants to live his truth, quite simply. Of course, he still goes to his therapist about some of the psychological issues he has with the circumstances in his youth, but he just wants to be himself in this society, instead of with some assumptions or speculations about who he really is or how he is supposed to be. Of course, it sucks to have to _come out_ to people, he speaks from experience, in this cis-heteronormative world, but he just wants to be himself and shut up all the guessing game about who David is and who David loves and everything else. If they are so intent on guessing everything about David, then he might as well take control, and tell people about who he is, on his own terms. If anyone has a problem with it, they can shove it up their own ass and David would not care.

He tells Matteo as much. “I want to live my truth, our truth. And I want to do that on our own terms.”

Matteo smiles a little. “If this is what you want, then it is what I want.”

 

* * *

 

 **27 January 2024**  

_Samstag 11:51_

 

When David said date, he really means “ _let’s go and get crepes when it is nearly lunchtime on a Saturday_ ”. Matteo realises this when David materialises in his room in the WG suddenly and is on the verge of dressing him up when Matteo is perfectly capable of putting on clothes himself.

He pulls on a white t-shirt, then his favorite black with yellow pattern shirt on top of it, with the buttons undone. His pants are now proper-fitting, as his baggy jeans are all but banished by David to the depths of his closet. (He sometimes wears them to work still.) He then picks up David’s grey overcoat that is somehow in his room and pulls it on. David is in his beige one that seems to be his favourite, wearing a light grey turtleneck underneath. He even has his hipster glasses on, which Matteo has not seen much of when it is just themselves and friends.

Before they head out, Matteo remembers to pick up the little envelope that was delivered into the mailbox yesterday and slips it into the inner pocket of the coat. He knows would work perfectly well for what they are going to do today.

They take a long walk in silence, side by side. Matteo cannot really explain it, but even in moments like this, when they are not really interacting with each other, the mere presence of the other already makes him feel happier and content than he otherwise would. He bumps his shoulder against David’s, who shares a smile with him.

They eventually arrive at this crêpe place that David says has one of the best crêpes he has had in years. Matteo does not really know of the place, he just lets David pick the food for them when he looks around and notices they are near a small neighbourhood park. He nudges David and points in that direction, who smiles and nods when he sees the park.

They end up sitting on a bench in the park, looking at kids playing in the playground, both with a crêpe in hand. They are about to dig into the food, when David belatedly remembers what he wants to do. Matteo pouts a little at being denied enjoying the food, but then he pulls out the little envelope from his coat.

He hands his crêpe over to David. “Can you hold this for a moment?”

He then opens the envelope and takes out a few lapel pins. He has a pair of pride flags, then one each of the transgender flag and the pan flag for David. He puts them all on his palm and shows them to David.

“That is a brilliant idea, actually.” David says when he sees the pins. Matteo went on the internet to shop for these the afternoon when David told him he wants to live their truth. He thought they could just throw everything that matters into the photo and let it speak for itself, as there is this saying: _a picture is worth a thousand words_.

Matteo flashes a smile at David in response to the compliment, and pins a pride flag to his lapel.

“Which one do you want?” Matteo asks, oddly giddy about what they are doing.

“I’ll just take the trans flag. I can hardly pin everything there and look like a Christmas tree, it’d look ridiculous.”

“I love you even if you look ridiculous.” Matteo says absentmindedly while he pins the trans flag to David’s lapel. He leans back and assesses his work. “Looks good?”

“Looks good.” David affirms, and hands the crêpe back to Matteo. Then pulls out his phone with the recently freed hand. “A picture for the nosy people, then we turn off our phone for the afternoon?”

“Sure.” Matteo grins, and poses for David’s phone, both of them with a crêpe in hand, and their lapel pins clearly visible. David posts the picture onto twitter, and Matteo retweets it when he sees it. They then both turn off their phones and finally starts eating.

The crêpe tastes good. Matteo knows what he is going to learn to make next.

They took the train right into Spandau and spent the rest of the afternoon escaping into the nature with few people around them. They just mess about while strolling along the Havel riverfront in the freezing cold and have blissful fun like they are teenagers all over again, without a worry for the world.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 13:21_

 

A new tweet pushes right onto the dash of the social media tracking tool that Carlos has open on his laptop, and he drops what he is doing right at this moment. It is not the usual tweets from his clients doing their social media engagement or campaigns, nor things in the business that he keeps an eye out on for. It is a tweet from David. He quickly clicks on the tweet, from David’s account and sees a photo of him and Matteo. At first, he thinks it is to make fun of the relentless speculation whipped up by an amateur twitter handle he has heard about on the grapevine, but then he sees something.

Working in the industry plus having a fiancé who bangs on about these things means Carlos knows many cultural references. He sees the pin on the lapels of their coats. It is a bit surprising seeing Matteo with the rainbow pin, considering he does not like attention, so coming out publicly seems a bit out of character of him. Then again, when you are the head of a game development studio, and your boyfriend seems to be the next big deal director, it is hard to hide, so he can understand the rationale – break the ‘news’ yourself and kill the gossip.

What really catches his attention is the pin on _David’s_ lapel. Blue-pink-white-pink-blue. He grabs his phone blindly then starts texting.

 

_Carlos_

“Did you see Luigi’s twitter?” – 13:22

_Jonas_

“I was about to text you.” – 13:22

 

_Carlos_

“You saw the pins?” – 13:23

“Brave move imo” – 13:23

 

_Jonas_

“I know. That is like, brave as fuck.” – 13:24

“I tried calling both of them, but it seems their phones are off.” – 13:25

 

_Carlos_

“Valid strategy to be fair if people pick up on it.” – 13:26

“Drinks tonight?” – 13:27

“It’ll just be the two of us I think.” – 13:27

 

_Jonas_

“I’m down.” – 13:27

“We should think about a meetup soon.” – 13:28

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 18:45_

 

Laura is not really sure if the two idiots are going to be here for dinner, but she is cooking for them as well, just in case. It is chicken skillet with some spices that would make anyone’s mouth water. She has tried to text both of them but it seems like they have their phones off so there is no way to find out.

She pokes her head out of the kitchen when she hears the front door opening. She is greeted by the sight of her brother and his boyfriend walking in, both smiling like idiots.

She can also see the lapel pins still on their coats. She says nothing and wraps David in a hug, who reciprocates when it registers what has just happened.

“You’re so brave. I’m proud of you.”

David just smiles as he shrugs off his coat. “I hope the world isn’t burning.” He jokes, before asking, “What do we have for dinner?”

Over dinner, David talks about his recent short film projects for the first time. Judging by how intent Matteo is listening to him, Laura figures even he has not been too privy to what David has been working on over the past few weeks.

David talks about his exploration on the topics of gender and sexuality in his recent short films, and reflections he has made on these issues in his own experiences both by himself and with his therapist. There were also conversations with cast members about both how the film approaches the topic as well as their general experiences, understanding more perspectives and how he feels about everything. He has decided that as long as he has people that matter who love him, what a random person has to think or say about him is irrelevant. He just wants to live his truth free of people trying to speculate about who he is, and also he thinks that it would be something a younger version of himself would have appreciated seeing – someone like him being happy and successful in life, to see that it is possible to be like that, and understand that he is not stuck.

Matteo nods in agreement to the last part, as the two of them share a look. Laura figures it is something that Matteo empathises with as well.

She also marvels at how far David has come along. He still likes to play the cool and distant card on people, but underneath he is happier and more content. There are less worry and fear about things. He is more comfortable with his surroundings, and evidently, as today has shown, self-assured, not just about his own abilities, but about himself in general. Laura has always told David that he deserves happiness, and she thinks David has finally got what he deserved. Long overdue, but finally there.

 

* * *

 

**3 February 2024**

_Samstag 19:14_

 

Social media predictably exploded when people started to pick up on their lapel pins, and the more trashy-gossip news sites predictably run articles about it. Both of them laid low for the most part of the week, even though they are not super recognisable faces in a city as busy as Berlin, given that it is not like there are no creepshots of them floating around Twitter already. David has gone on lunch with Jonas one day earlier in the week at his behest, and they talked a lot about his experiences and activism on this front, Jonas being very eager to understand more about it. David liked how it went, how respectful and intellectual the discussion went, and he thinks it bodes well as an indicator of how the others will react as well.

He and Matteo find themselves at the front door of Jonas and Hanna’s place, nearly a quarter of an hour late because neither of them was too in a rush to get out of their hideout. Jonas volunteered to use his place as the meetup place instead of the WG, owing to having a smaller crowd and also relieving the need for them to make supplies run for this. Carlos opens the door to the flat, and David can hear chatter coming out from the corridor.

“Hi, David my brudi!” Carlos greets and pulls David into a quick hug, all but ignoring Matteo.

“Doing good lately?” David asks.

“Bone tired. Was at the Fehnsehpreis yesterday.”

David hums in recognition, while Matteo pushes himself into his side.

“Good evening to you too Carlos.” Matteo says mockingly.

“Luigi.” As they share a handshake.

“Is that fair? He gets a hug and I only get a handshake?”

“Maybe I like your boyfriend better.” Carlos says teasingly, David cannot help but laugh at that.

Matteo is about to retort when they hear Jonas yelling from inside the place. “Are you guys gonna freeze to death out there?” They make their way inside at that.

They slip into the group and sees that they are the last to arrive. It is a smaller group today, only Jonas and Hanna; Sam and Abdi; Kiki and Carlos; and Amira and Mohammed, while the others are all out of town or busy or something. So it is a quintuple date, David concludes. Like it has been several times before and as if nothing has happened, David is very involved and engaged in their discussions, talking about what is happening in their lives and what catches their attention recently and so on. A time or two things about equality and _the picture_ also come up, though they never made a big deal out of both Matteo and David’s coming out. Their topic of discussion somehow turns to Berlinale, talking about how Jonas and David would have to walk on the carpet and do photo calls, which David dismissed quickly saying that they are not big deals who would command attention anyway.

“I will be at the public viewing for the film for sure.” Hanna says.

“Yeah we might go along. I haven’t seen things from David since _Julius Caesar_ a few years ago.” Kiki pipes up.

Jonas turns to Matteo. “What about you, Luigi? Will you be the supportive boyfriend?”

David interjects before Matteo says something. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I can go with them. I do want to see how it came out.”

David knows that is a lie, because Matteo has in fact watched the film several times already over the past month or two. He is just going because he wants to.

“Do you want me to go with you instead?” David asks, reaching out to hold Matteo’s hand.

“Can you?”

“Do you think I care?”

 

* * *

 

 **8 February 2024**  

_Donnerstag 18:41_

 

David is dressed in a white button-down, with a black sweater over it and wearing his favourite beige overcoat. The early February evening is still chilly and David, Jonas, Sara and the other leads of the film step out of the cars that bring them up to the carpet, and they start walking down the head of the red carpet at the _Marlene-Dietrich-Platz_ , and up to the _Berlinale Palast_ where the opening night takes place. 

It is a massive understatement when David says they would not command the attention of people. Photographers lining the carpet will literally take photos of anyone and everyone walking on the carpet, and this is how they find themselves stopping every few steps and facing different directions posing for the cameras.

“No attention eh?” Jonas whispers into his ear.

David laughs under his breath. “Well I have four top-tier actors and actresses next to me, of course they will garner attention.”

Jonas just rolls his eyes at him, as they cross the threshold into the venue.

David finds himself mingling with some of the big names in the industry that are also attending or have their films up for viewing in various sections of the festival. Some of them are friendly and have heard of David’s budding reputation in the industry and says nice things about him or that they look forward to seeing his film in _Panorama_ ; though there is also a handful of people who are mean, or has _issues_ with who David is, and David quickly shuts them down and moves on, with Jonas by his side. He is not here to please anyone anyway.

He finds the opening night a bit moot, if he were being honest, though obviously he does not say anything about it, the charade of introducing luminaries left and right, then the jury, then trailers of the films in competition and so on. It is basically an hour and a half of seeing a parade of people and things on screen and clapping along. He figures it is not too bad of a night, overall, just a bit boring.

 

* * *

 

 **9 February 2024**  

_Freitag 15:19_

 

At the press conference for _Monochrome_ , it is no different. If you are an uninformed outsider, you would mistake for maybe some big-name Hollywood director with films here at Berlinale occupying this timeslot. But no, this is just David Schreibner and his cast here to talk about a film that will be shown in the Panorama section. David is still not entirely used to the sea of flashing lights at the photocall, standing in front of the backdrop first with Jonas, Sara and others, then on his own. Eventually, they are ushered to the table, so the presser can take place. 

The questions are from serious press interested in the film itself, and David often talks at length about the meaning of the film and also its connection to the current political climate, and the growing trend of youth activism to fight for changes in the world. He talks about his view that not enough people use the power of film to show the real world and bring out messages to the audience, but rather focusing on escapism that appeals to the masses. Then he also goes on to explain the dystopic world view that is prevalent in his work.

Jonas, Sara and the other leads also get a few questions about their view of the film and working with David and together and other more softball questions. They all answer the questions with ease.

David also explains that he thinks the beauty of art is that people can find meaning for themselves in them, when he is asked about if there is a particular cause he is angling for when making this film to call for change, with the various symbolisms in the film.

Near the end of the press conference, some journalist at the back tries to raise a question about David himself. He knows it is going to come, though he is surprised it took that long. He is mildly distracted, thinking about a response to the question as it is asked, when he realises it takes a more malicious turn. Jonas cuts the questioner off before it fully registers in his mind.

“I am sorry, but I think the question is too personal to be appropriate.”

The person tries to say something else, when David finally catches sight of him. He thinks he recognises this person. It is the guy who failed at theatre club in university, and also who always looked at him weird in that environment class that they share. Stefan.

He cuts him off. “What media organisation are you representing?”

That catches Stefan off guard. He pauses for a moment before he starts. “Online media site that covers movies – ”

David knows the answer already. _Movienter_.

“ – Movienter.”

David stands up, as Jonas scrambles to follow, as does the rest of the lead cast with him at the table. “I will not be answering any question from you, and I think you know fully well why.”

With that, he walks off from the press conference with everyone in tow.

The press officer apologises profusely to David when he reaches the back room, explaining that she was not aware of the invasive coverage of that person has done about David before this episode though she is informed by _his agent_ just now, and promises that the press accreditation will be revoked as soon as possible.

He raises his eyebrows at “ _his agent_ ” when he reaches him near the exit of the back room.

Carlos just shrugs in response. “Just doing what I can.”

 

* * *

 

**14 February 2024**

_Mittwoch 17:21_

 

As sort of a joke, Matteo pulls David along to a public viewing session for _Monochrome_. Both of them knows full well how the film is going to pan out, but Matteo insists that “it is a different experience seeing it on the big screen.” So this is what they did. 

Aside from dressing less formal and pulling on their beanies (Matteo bought his own when they were in Frankfurt), both of them didn’t really care to go incognito, as the average Berlinale-goer is not going to read gossip about people at the festival, nor would they be that interested in a random director amongst the numerous who has their film for viewing at the festival.

They are now at the final part of the film, as Jonas on-screen enters the room where the abandoned swimming pool is. Matteo unconsciously reaches out and holds David’s hand, as they share a look in the dark. Then as soon as it starts, Jonas falls backwards into the pool, and the film is over.

They file out along with the crowd of viewers, none of which batting an eyelid at the fact that the director of the film is among them (because they don’t know). As they reach outside, Matteo pulls David along. He can see some camera-wielding people pointing their lenses at them, but he does not really care.

“I know of this place.” He says as he leads David towards where he parked his car, “we should get food there.”

This is how they found themselves in this fine-dining restaurant. The Matteo with table manners makes a rare appearance, affirming David's impression that Matteo can eat properly is not conjured up by his brain, but is in fact reality. The food is undeniably good and special, unique with an Asian touch to everything to what they serve, however it is not really enough to sate the hunger Matteo has, or indeed, judging by his look when they exit the restaurant, that of David as well.

“What about McDonalds?” Matteo suggests.

“A romantic are you, Florenzi?” David laughs, but he leads the way nonetheless as they walk to the fast-food restaurant that is around the corner.

Sometimes what matters is who you are with, and not where you are or what you do.

 

* * *

 

_Mittwoch 22:03_

 

Amira does not really care about the gossip of anything really, but it does not mean it is the same for some people she works with. Though she is highly skeptical of whether it is appropriate of anyone to talk gossip in a group chat with people in your workplace, in the first place. She clicks on the link this person has sent out anyway, because she sees David’s name in the preview, and resolutely ignores the comment that this person thinks “ _both of them are so hot_ ” that accompanies the link.

She quickly scrolls down, ignoring the title of this trashy article, and sees a picture of Matteo pulling David along, outside a theatre that looks like where the Berlinale would use as a venue, with the accompanying text that comes with the photo.

 

 

 

> _“…David Schreibner (23), the director of Monochrome, a film that is part of the Panorama programme of this year’s Berlinale, is seen at a public viewing of the film with his rumored partner, Matteo Florenzi (23), who is the head of Peach Development Studios and Senior Vice President of Peach Software GmBH, a young company with several mobile games that are currently popular in Europe._
> 
> _Schreibner has also recently shared on Twitter a picture of himself with Florenzi with lapel pins that appears to confirm their relationship, as well as apparently revealing himself to be transgender…”_
> 
>  

Amira rolls her eyes at how people make tea out of things like these. She takes a screenshot of the picture nonetheless and sends it off to Matteo.

 

_Amira_

“You look happy.” – 22:03

(Screen capture of photo) – 22:03

 

_Vollidiot_

“That’s because we’re happy.” – 22:11

 

_Amira_

“That’s good. Both of you deserve it.” – 22:13

 

* * *

 

 **18 February 2024**  

_Sonntag 14:07_

 

David has left Matteo in bed earlier in the morning, so he can go out for an early brunch, then set off for this side event that is the prize award for the independent juries. His film is obviously not in competition, but there are still a plethora of prizes that are handed out by different organisations, and even the public, for these films that are out of competition.

He is prepared for another yawn-fest, when the host for this mini-event speaks up again.

“Next up, is the Panorama Audience Award, which is voted for by all visitors of the Berlinale for the _Panorama_ section.” She reads it off the card she has in hand. “And it goes to _Monochrome_ , directed by David Schreibner.”

This is how David find himself suddenly ushered out of his seat and onto the outdoors stage in his low-effort all-black outfit, standing with several representatives who he assumes are those who present the prize as well as the producer for his film. They stand in front of quite a number of cameras, waiting for pictures of him being given the prize to be taken. He poses for the pictures then speaks briefly to thank everyone who has worked on the film, before going back to his seat.

Not even minutes have passed, and he once again finds himself on stage with another group of people, this time who he assumes are the juries, for the FIPRESCI Jury Award, which is awarded by the international film critics association for the _Panorama_ section. He again does the drill of pictures and thanking people and returning to his seat.

He is not sure how he has picked up awards with this competitive field of good films, judging by what he has seen, and he has been public screenings of every film in the _Panorama_ section, as well as in several other sections as well.

This is how he finds himself with two items in his hands when Matteo, who in the middle of the event texted him asking where he went, comes to pick him up with his car.

“What are those?” Matteo eyes the items suspiciously as David gets into the car.

“They’re not golden or silver bears, but prizes of some sort.” He says nonchalantly.

Suddenly Matteo is holding his face and kissing him.

“I told you that you are good at this.” Matteo says with conviction.

David cannot help but blush at that. “Idiot.” He mumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment :)


	19. "We can do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited and Unbeta'd.

**21 February 2024**

_Mittwoch 11:37_

 

Nothing has really changed about David’s work after those two surprising prizes he has won. There are some articles floating out there about him winning the prizes, and also a few profile pieces that the journalists cobble up from what they know form the public information of David. His Twitter and YouTube following also grows, though that is even more secondary than all the other things.

He is back with his team of people working on the project with this series of short films, taking a more documentary style that talks about the experience of people in the community that reflects the issues people are facing in their daily lives and their outlook of life, and so on. It is as realistic of a portrayal of the real world as it can get. David learns a lot talking to people both on camera and off camera, as they explore the lives of many people in the LGBTQ+ community and reflects issues they face even in a relatively progressive society when compared to the rest of the world, reflecting how much more work has to be done to achieve real equality. David still thinks coming out is a right decision, when it comes to inspiring the youth in the community to know that they are not alone, and they can be successful.

He has Carlos sort of working for him on the various contacts that are coming in looking for David’s services, though most of them are ruled out by Carlos as being dodgy, not having the right budget, not paying what David is worth or a mixture of some of these descriptions. He is not fussed though, as he values the quality of his work more than anything else, as long as he is going to make enough to fend for himself.

He has, though, struck a deal with a streaming platform for the first short film on this topic that he was previously working on, which he sees there is a huge response to. He figures he might agree to have this one to be released in a similar format too, should the filming go well in the remaining portions as well. It is an important topic and sometimes hard facts matter as much as making a cultural influence through artistic expression to impress upon the audience.

He thinks he is definitely going to do something more that specifically looks at topics like these. Doing mainstream productions that plays off the public’s obsession with escapism is not what he wants to do anyway.

 

* * *

 

**24 February 2024**

_Samstag 10:12_

 

Matteo wakes up to David lacing his fingers in his messy blond hair, as he leans into the touch more, with David’s fingers scratching against his scalp. He loves this feeling. He also _misses_ this feeling and also his boyfriend, as he could never get enough of David. They do see each other and have meals a lot over the weekdays, but they usually do not stay over with the other unless it is the weekend, as they could otherwise never get out of bed in time, nor is it exactly convenient when they want to do _things_ with each other, but cannot really do it because both of them live with others, and they cannot exactly keep _quiet_.

This frustrates Matteo, at least a little bit. Which might have something to do with what he has been doing on the side lately.

His eyes are still closed, as he continues lean into the touch by David. “Do you want to go look at flats with me?”

David’s fingers still in his hair. Matteo opens his eyes to see David staring at him with wide eyes.

“Did I hear that right?”

Matteo blushes a bit as he averts his eyes. “I have been looking at some flats here. For us.”

Matteo can see an array of emotions flit across David’s face in the mere seconds that it takes for him to come up with response. He waits patiently for David to say something.

“I’d love to move in with you…but can we afford that?” David asks as he sits up in bed to look at Matteo properly. He follows suit, so now they are now sat cross-legged, face-to-face. David takes his hand.

Matteo scratches his face. He is about to expose how much he has thought about this, and how deep he is in with David.

“I’ve done the numbers roughly. We can do it.” He then launches into a mini spiel about housing prices and mortgages, then about different the flats in different districts he has been looking at. David listens to him patiently.

There is a spark in David’s eye when Matteo finally stops talking, and he thinks David is just as deep in this as Matteo.

“What about we go and look today?”

Matteo’s smile cannot be wider even if he tried.

 

* * *

 

 **13 March 2024**  

_Mittwoch 15:21_

 

Matteo is zoning out. He is sat on the floor in the middle of what would become the living room of _their flat_. David is currently painting the last wall of the room, clad in an old t-shirt that now sports splotches of paint of different colours from David painting the different rooms.

They have decided on this flat pretty quickly, after both of them started looking at the flats together. This flat is in Prenzlauer Berg, which is essentially in the city center, which they both like a lot. It is one of the better residential area and is more expensive than some other places, but they managed to find this flat. It is a bit on the older side and in need of some renovation, but it is quite spacious compared to some other flats they have looked at, and there are some big windows that David is in love with.

Matteo can envision how this flat would be – a spacious living/dining room, connected to the balcony outside. They can have the dining table by the windows; they can have a couch or two with the TV on the other side. One of the walls can also be lined with shelves where David can put his books and mementos that he has accumulated. Their bedroom can fit a king size bed, then they can also throw in a pair of armchairs and a small table to the side by the window. Maybe a small desk on the side too and some storage cabinets alongside the dresser. They also have an ensuite bathroom in the bedroom on top of the other bathroom. There is also a smaller room next door which they can use as their study. They can have two desks, one each for them so they can work from home if they wish, and David can also work on his art projects in that space. They can also throw in a twin bed in the space, in case someone wants to stay over.

He is snapped out of his thoughts by David yelling at his face.

“Matteo Florenzi!”

Matteo is unfazed, and he just reaches out and pulls David down, trying to kiss him. He has been wanting to do this for quite a while already, sitting there and looking and David working.

David indulges him for a few seconds, then he pulls away and asks, “Would you be so kind to help me out now?”

“I like watching you.” Matteo replies, while David is trying to pull him up.

“The place is not going to paint itself. Come on.” David hands him the brush and points at the portion of the wall in the living room that is still bare. “I need to plaster the wall in the other room.” He gestures at where the study would be with his now free hand.

Before Matteo can even react, David is out of sight. He sighs and gets to work on the wall.

When he is done, he sets down the brush and the paint bucket, and goes to lean on the doorframe to the study. He loves watching David work, especially now that he is dressed in a short-sleeved t-shirt, he can see the defined muscles of his biceps while David is plastering the wall. He loves watching this, or touching the biceps, or being _held down_ by those strong arms…

He groans.

David glances at him from the corner of his eyes, while trying to plaster over another imperfection on the wall. “What’s up?”

“I just cannot wait to have this place of our own.”

“That’s all?” David asks, with a smirk pulling at his lips. He knows what he is doing to Matteo, as he makes another movement with the trowel that makes his muscles move.

Matteo turns his head away, refusing to let David have the satisfaction of having the confirmation that Matteo is very affected by him. “Yeah. Nothing else.”

David hums. “Hm, okay.” As he turns back to finishing up the plasterwork of the wall. Matteo leans heavily against the doorframe, pulling out his phone to distract himself from David.

After playing on his phone for a while, Matteo can hear David setting down his tools and walking towards him.

“What about this.” David’s voice is low against Matteo’s ear. A shiver runs straight down his back.

Matteo raises his head and stares straight into David’s eye.

“We finish plastering that wall. Then we go to our place and _shower_. Then we go to look for furniture.”

“Deal.”

This is the most enthusiastic Matteo has been so far when it comes to the renovation of the flat.

 

* * *

 

 **31 March 2024**  

_Sonntag 17:43_

 

It is the evening of Easter Sunday. Exorcism has organised a concert at the Olympiastadion. It is a bit different from the previous concerts, as this is a charity concert aimed at raising funds for various charities that work with LGBTQ+ youth. There is another thing that is different, for Matteo at least. This is the first time he is not the FOH sound engineer for the band for their gigs in Berlin since Linn first asked him to help out. Instead, he is sat next to David in the audience on the upper terrace.

The stage is being set up on one end of the pitch, and the pitch area in front of the stage, as well as the portion of terraces that can see the stage are all packed with fans of the band. This is also the first time Matteo has been in an open-air concert, and he can see some of the excited fans are doing a Mexican wave at the lower terrace. He shudders at the excitement of these people, while David turns over to look at him. Matteo scoots a little closer.

“Is it too overwhelming?” David asks quietly.

“No. I just am not going to join if they are doing that thing.”

David chuckles. “They’re starting soon anyway, don’t worry.” Though he pulls Matteo into his side, securing him with an arm around his waist.

Jonas appears on stage. Matteo sort of forgot about this, even though Jonas has talked to him about this like twenty times over the past two weeks, but he is doing the opening act for this concert before Exorcism comes on stage. There are loud cheers coming from the audience as Jonas walks all the way to the outer edge of the stage, surrounded by the crowd from three sides.

“Good evening Berlin!” Jonas yells at the audience, as he is met with another round of huge cheers.

“Before you all get started for the night with some _Exorcism_ , let us all get warmed up first!”

“The first one is a song from Sam Smith. That’s for my favourite Italian and his favourite German – Matteo and David.”

Stay with me by Sam Smith fills the stadium. Of course, it is Sam Smith, Jonas definitely chose this song for him, considering he used to make Jonas play Sam Smith for him, and this was one of the songs Jonas played for him back when Matteo was third-wheeling Jonas and Hanna’s getaway in the cottage. That is some nostalgia right there.

Eventually it is replaced by some of the songs of Jonas’ own, some of which Matteo recognises because he is the sound engineer who helped him to record the studio versions for Jonas’ EP. Judging by the reception to the songs, Jonas has properly hyped up the crowd.

“And now…it’s Exorcism time!” Jonas yells, as the first beats of the first song Exorcism is going to play reverberates around the venue. He runs back towards the main stage, high-fiving Laura and the rest of the band before going backstage. The crowd goes absolutely ballistic with the energy the band is injecting into the crowd.

The three hours go by in a whim and Matteo finds himself actually enjoying it with David, and the energy in such a crowded atmosphere for once energises him rather than saps energy out of him. He also loves a lot of the songs the band is playing, now that he can let himself actually pay attention to the songs, rather than trying to work with the sounds.

They stay behind when the concert is over, the backdrop on the stage showing the amount of money raised that will go to various charities. David leads Matteo down to the pitch and to the area where the stage is, where Laura and the rest of the band is waiting for them.

“Great show.” David comments as he bumps fists with Laura. Matteo offers Laura and Linn a silent hug each with a smile. Jonas pops up out of nowhere and tackles Matteo into a hug yelling “here’s my favourite Italian” and starts talking Matteo’s ear off about something or another, the energy from having played parts of the gig evidently still not wearing off yet. Matteo just tries to reply something coherent to Jonas to keep the conversation going.

Eventually they are all pulled to take group pictures for Exorcism’s social media account, with David and Matteo alongside the band and Jonas and the crew for the concert as well. Matteo can see he is tagged on Twitter and he retweets it on his phone.

 

> **Exorcism** _@Exorcism_ · Mar 31
> 
> _“Good show today with @jon_astronaut and crew. Special guests @DavidSchr and @matteohno! Proceeds from today would go to charities supporting LGBTQ+ youth!”_

 

The world predictably goes wild at the confirmation that David and Laura are indeed siblings and that Matteo is also at the concert. David ignores all the media frenzy, and Matteo tries to do so as well.

 

* * *

 

 **5 April 2024**  

_Freitag 16:07_

 

David is hanging out in Matteo’s office, drawing something on his sketchbook. It has been a while since he has been here, as he has mostly alternated between filming his shorts, working on advertising filming, theatre productions as well as sometimes doing the renovation work for their soon-to-be new home (even though they also have help from their friends as well as hired hands). It is a bit weird for David to have nothing to do on a Friday afternoon, so he busies himself in drawing something, while Matteo is exceptionally busy on his computer. 

One of the things David sometimes make fun of Matteo is that he does not look like he is busy whenever David is here, but this time round Matteo is so focused on what he is doing and typing so intensely on his keyboard. Sometimes he pauses to think something over, then scrawl something on the notepad next to him, but he mostly ignores David. David tries to pry what Matteo is doing but he can only see a huge page of gibberish on Matteo’s screen and he is also shooed away from his side.

David does not really mind though, whatever this thing Matteo is doing and not really letting him know about – he does not know shit about software development anyway. He just draws things idly, like the scenery of places he has been to with Matteo, or Matteo’s blinding smile he sometimes get to see.

He is distracted from his drawings, when his phone starts ringing. He see’s it is Carlos and picks up.

“Hey Carlos.” David greets Carlos, who is now more or less his agent, he figures.

“I have news for you.” He sounds excited.

“Yeah?”

“Netflix has picked up all the remaining short films you have.”

David stands up abruptly with his phone in hand. “What?!”

“You heard me right. The deal is good as well.”

“Oh my god.” He cannot really believe it.

“There’s one more thing.”

“What else?” David breathes.

“There is a deal out there for you to make a feature length film on gender and sexuality. Your studio can get to keep some of the rights.”

“What the fuck, Carlos?” David can see Matteo pausing at his computer and perking up.

“Yeah, I’ve brought on a colleague who is more versed about film deals to look into it, but it seems quite legit. You’re quite in demand so they’re making more concessions than usual.”

“Fuck.” David breathes, as he tries to process the information. “Fuck. Thank you, Carlos.”

“No problem brudi, I’ll keep you posted.”

David falls back onto the couch and lets out a breath. Matteo is now standing up and walking towards him.

“What’s up?”

“Some good news, film deals and stuff.” David cannot help but smile widely.

Matteo smiles too, seeing David like this. He leans down and kisses him. David has some other ideas though, as he quickly deepens the kiss and pulls Matteo on top of him. At least he has had the foresight to flip the privacy glass switch, so no one can see what they are doing.

“Congratulations.” Matteo breathes out when they finally part for air.

A knock interrupts whatever they are doing right now, as Matteo goes to the door and talks to the offending person about some game project that he is apparently overseeing. When Matteo sends said person on the way, he returns to David.

“Do you feel like running away?”

David considers him for a moment. It is near the end of the work day anyway, he can whisk Matteo away from work without feeling guilty about it.

“As in running to one of our beds?” David teases, wiggling his eyebrows.

Matteo groans in frustration. “It’s not my fault that I miss you.”

“You know the flat still needs some more work and both of us want it to be perfect, yeah?”

Matteo hums, as he all but pulls David out of the office with him then out of the door, biking their way to the WG.

 

* * *

 

 **20 April 2024**  

_Samstag 15:03_

 

There is a huge rally in Berlin today against the political inaction towards social injustice, such as climate change and a plethora of other social and global issues. It is sort of a rally that calls for letting the youth to decide for their future, and somehow David is invited to speak at the rally. 

Well, David says somehow – but it seems quite logical on the part of the organisers to ask David to come, given his fame from _Monochrome_ and also other productions that shows his knack of addressing acute social issues. His film in particular called for the youth to take control of their destiny, and this is exactly what they are trying to do right now.

This is how David finds himself on stage, in front of tens of thousands of young people, trying to say something that is intellectual and encouraging.

He starts by explaining a bit on his film and his thinking behind it, at the request of the organisers and talks about the glaring issues that are still prevalent in society in this day and age. He then launches into a reflection of history on social rights.

 

_“It was in the Age of Enlightenment and Revolution that the Americans and the French first established the concept of fundamental rights of people – the Rights of Man, per se. That was the idea, that all people are equal, but we all know from history how false was that declaration. People from all ages fought hard for their rights. There was a fight for women’s suffrage. There was a fight for labour protection and rights. There was a fight for equal rights for people of colour, particularly in America. There was a fight for decolonisation. There was a fight against religious discrimination. Our way of life today, the things we take for granted, are fought for tooth and nail by trailblazers of earlier times, it is hard earned. You may say, despite all these victories of the past, the world is still not as good of a place as you would have wanted it to be.”_

_“That is why we are here. There are still so many injustices in this modern world. The inaction against climate change that is pushing us towards the brink; a society that does not listen to the youth what they really need; a whole generation of people in disarray because of instability and oppression in many regions around the world; the lack of true equality between people – where people are still discriminated against because of their personal traits; and a lot more.”_

_“We need your help. With your help, the 21 st Century can be the Century of Equality. We need to fight for our voices to be heard. We need to fight for real equality, more than three hundred years after the concept is first introduced. The real equality that every person, no matter who they are, or indeed, when they are from, they all have equal rights and opportunities. It is not only about equality for people around you and me, but also about generational equality. The future is now. If there is no future, then what hope do we still have?”_

_“This is the fight of our times. This is the fight for every single one of us. Take control of your future. Fight for a better future. The fight starts now!”_

 

He finishes his speech to rousing cheers and applause. He would be lying if he says he is not shaking when he gets of the stage.

Many mainstream media outlets run articles about the rally, many of which features portions of David’s speech alongside many of the happenings of the day. It roused a reaction and interest that is not insignificant from society. Some media outlets try to get David to agree to an interview, but he turns them down, instead telling them to use their power to focus on social issues that matter and needs attention.

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 19:47_

 

“Never knew my boyfriend could be so eloquent and inspirational.” Matteo chuckles, when David wraps himself around his back. David can see Matteo is making shakshuka. 

“You saw it?” David asks. He is tired from the day and just wants to maybe shower and hide in Matteo’s bed for the weekend.

“You’re like all over the news, it’s hard to not see it.” Matteo says as David sees Matteo pour the shakshuka onto the rice into the other pot.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m making shakshuka risotto.” Matteo says nonchalantly.

David lets it slide, he figures it will be delicious anyway. “But yeah, I guess I always have had big opinions, but I finally found my voice? Of course the whole people thing is still sucks a bit, but I feel more at ease to speak my mind now.”

“Hm. That’s good. You were hot.”

David rolls his eyes. Of course Matteo says that.

The risotto is good, as it turns out.

 

* * *

 

 **11 May 2024**  

_Samstag 13:04_

 

The day of Matteo’s dreams, or rather, that’s a bit too dramatic but, the day that Matteo has been thinking about for more than two months is finally here. 

They have progressively populated the house with the furniture they have selected after the renovation work is done, and alongside that, started to move their things to this flat too, so while there are boxes piled in the corner of every room, you can also see David’s various plants by window sills and on the corners of desks. Matteo’s weed stash has also found its new home in a new corner of the drawer of the desk in their bedroom. Some mementos and books of David, alongside with the two trophies from his film are already on the shelves that line one of the walls of the living/dining room.

The set of couch and loveseat has been delivered earlier in the morning and put into the correct positions in the living/dining room. They are now building _their bed_ in _their bedroom_. It is not an IKEA bed, but somehow they still ended up with a bed that they have to build themselves when deciding on a bed that they like.

There is only one outcome when they are supposed to do things together. Matteo is utterly useless. Not because of incompetence, but just because he ends up staring at David working, being totally enraptured. David rolls his eyes when he finds out that Matteo still has not finished screwing in the screws on his side. He rounds the half-built bed and takes the screwdriver out of Matteo’s hands.

“Why don’t you go sit at the armchair and wait for me to be done with this?” He asks Matteo, slightly exasperated.

Matteo only blushes in embarrassment, though does not give up the chance to kiss David before he moves out of the way and let David work on the rest of the bed. It takes another five or ten minutes, before Matteo is dragged along by David so they could actually set the huge mattress onto the frame. Matteo is panting by the time they managed to set it in the right position, considering the fact that he never exercises, David just rolls his eyes fondly at him.

“Maybe you should exercise more.” David teases him.

“No.” Matteo pouts.

David tackles him onto the bed, as they both stretch out in _their bed_ inside _their bedroom_ of _their home_.

Eventually, Matteo flips over so he is lying half on top of David.

“I can’t believe today is finally the day.” He whispers.

“Me too.” David whispers back, a smile ghosting at his lips.

They ended up eating out due to the barren state of their new fridge, after stretching out on the bed for an inordinate amount of time. After that, they went groceries shopping as well as shopping for some kitchen and tableware that they are still missing from their collection, so they could finally have a functional kitchen that could be of use for Matteo.

“I should teach you how to cook some time.” Matteo remarks later in the evening, when David is leaning against the counter of _their kitchen_ , hanging around while Matteo is preparing dinner for both of them.

“Maybe.”

 

* * *

 

_Samstag 20:55_

 

They find themselves making out intensely, after finishing dinner at _their dining table_. David taking the lead, as he leads the kiss with Matteo, hands already slipping underneath his t-shirt, and pushing Matteo backwards towards _their bedroom_ as they go. Soon enough they find themselves right in front of _their bed_ , as Matteo’s legs hit the side of the bed, his shirt already lost somewhere along the way. 

They are already _very_ familiar with each other at this point, but this feels different. Monumental, even, as David pushes Matteo back onto the bed, and climbing over him, hovering. It seems that Matteo is thinking the same thing as David. When he leans back in to kiss Matteo, both of them are taking it much slower. It is sweet, painfully soft, even, as they savour every single moment of this.

Even when their clothes are all lost somewhere around the room, and even when their bodies are sliding against each other, they are soft, slow and sweet. They never stop making out through all of that, David holding Matteo close as their bodies move in sync with each other, feeling each other against every single inch of their skin.

David stills for a moment when he sees Matteo tearing up. Matteo whines at the cease of motion, but he is not giving in, intent to make sure Matteo is okay.

“Everything good?” He asks, voice still low.

Matteo nods and smiles at him. “Just a bit overwhelmed. But happy overwhelmed.”

“Okay.” As he lets Matteo initiate the kiss again, letting them fall back into the rhythm. He resumes the motion, when Matteo moves a bit impatiently.

They tether along the edge for a long time as they continue to take it slow all along. Eventually, when they both go over the edge, they scream each other’s name, before onto the bed together trying to catch a breath. They are still holding each other close when they finally get their breathing back under control.

“I love you.” Matteo whispers, staring into David’s eyes meaningfully.

“I love you too.” David replies, sincerely.

They shower together in the ensuite bathroom, before falling back onto the bed together, limbs tangled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment :)


	20. 21:21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are: The end of a journey. One last go in this journey with davenzi - here we go.
> 
> Unbeta'd and unedited.

**12 May 2024**  

_Sonntag 10:53_

 

Matteo wakes up to David’s arm thrown over his back, as he somehow ended up lying on his front in his sleep. David is running his hands up and down his back, both of them very bare under the covers, as they did not bother to look for a new change of clothes after coming out of the shower last night. 

Matteo turns his body on the bed, so now he is on his side and facing David, who is smiling at him so fondly and lovingly. He cannot help but mirrors the expression as well. He reaches out and catches David’s hand that has been on his back, lacing their fingers together.

“Good morning.” David whispers.

In lieu of a reply, partly owing to the fact that Matteo knows how his voice does not work when he has just woken up, he leans across to kiss David instead, then nuzzles his nose against David’s, who crinkles his face at his antics. Matteo dives back in to kiss him again, this time much less innocent, as they start to make out, tongue sliding against each other. Matteo finds himself pulled over so that he is hovering across David, as they continue their kiss.

Eventually they part for air, Matteo resting his forehead against David’s. He can see David’s cheeks are much more blushy right now. He relaxes his limbs, so he can lie on top of David instead of just hovering. This however exposes a problem. _A very hard problem_ , as it is now trapped between Matteo’s groin and David’s thick thigh. David raises his eyebrows at him and smirks, though he says nothing about it.

“First day of forever?” David asks with a whisper.

Matteo smirks a little and makes fun of him. “Never had you down as a sap.”

David _moves his thigh_ in retaliation, as Matteo sucks in a hard breath. He stutters out a response. “Y-yes.” Before he composes himself a bit. “First day of forever.” He kisses David again, who responds enthusiastically.

“Can’t believe you’re so enthusiastic already.” David mutters in between kisses, as his hand drifts down between their bodies and grabs hold of Matteo and start working on him loosely and slowly. He smirks when Matteo involuntarily lets out a soft moan.

“Not that I’m complaining.” David adds, as an afterthought.

 

* * *

 

_Sonntag 11:59_

 

They’re both in their bathrobes, having just come out of the bathroom, and each holding a cup of tea in their hands. They are leaning against the window of their bedroom, looking at the bustling city and people getting on with their lives outside. 

“We should probably unpack.” David comments, setting his cup down at the windowsill.

“We probably should.” Matteo mirrors David’s actions. “When is housewarming again?”

“Friday, I think.”

Matteo leans his head against the window for a moment.

“Okay, let’s get started.” 

They spend the rest of the day around the house, opening boxes left, right and center, trying to figure out which item goes where. Granted that they have progressively moved their belongings, so at least it is not as if they have to sort out every possession they have ever owned now. Matteo also sets up the new computers he has built for the study for both himself and David, so they do not have to always live off laptops even when they are at home. Definitely better to have several monitors to look at rather than hunching over and squinting at the small monitor of the laptop. He is unpacking the easel for David that they will put in the study as well, when David pokes his head into the room.

“How’s it going in here?”

“Mostly done. Just need your help with the ideas board later.” Matteo replies, pointing at the whiteboard-pinboard combo that is lying in the corner of the room. They want to have that mounted on the wall, and Matteo is pretty sure he will need David’s help if he does not want it mounted like a three-year-old did the mounting.

“Hm okay. How do you feel about pizza for lunch?”

Matteo checks his watch, it is already pushing two o’clock. His stomach growls a bit in protest.

“I’ll take Margherita with tzatziki.” Matteo replies after thinking for a moment.

“Tzatziki huh?” David asks, while thumbing at his phone.

“At least it is not milkshake with fries.” Matteo shoots at David.

That draws his attention, as he puts on his most offended and outraged face and closes their distance. “Milkshake with fries is _awesome_.” David insists.

Matteo tilts his head like David always does, and says utterly unconvincingly, “If you say so.”

David narrows his eyes at Matteo, then he decides to ignore Matteo, as he spins on his heels and heads back out of the study. “We’re getting milkshake with fries next time we go out.”

“No!” Matteo yells at his retreating form.

“It is decided!” David yells back from the living room.

Matteo rolls his eyes and moves to the bedroom, so he could unpack some of his belongings and starts filling some of the drawers of the desk in the corner of the room, leaving spaces for David to put his stuff in. He also pulls out the framed vampire drawing that he first brought with him to Heidelberg but brought back with him when they came back last time. He sets it on the far corner of the desk. He stands back a few steps, observing it. He likes having the drawing there.

 

* * *

 

_Sonntag 14:20_

 

They are now sitting at their new couch, both eating out of the pizza box – Matteo enjoying his Tzatziki Margherita, while David has a plain Marinara. Matteo has always been wary of letting himself slipping into getting used to with the domesticity he has with David, but it hits Matteo, now they are seated in _their flat_ , devouring their pizzas, that this is _for real_ their domesticity. He leans over and presses a greasy kiss square on David’s lips on impulse, while David has been engrossed talking about something that he is already forgotten the topic about. 

“What is that for?” David asks amusedly when Matteo pulls back.

“Can I not want to kiss my boyfriend?” Matteo asks, trying to hide his blush as he takes a bite of another slice of pizza.

“Of course you can.” David replies, tilting his head.

“It’s just hit me that this is all real.” Matteo supplies after swallowing his latest bite of pizza.

David smiles at him meaningfully at that. “I know. I get it.”

They scoot a little closer to each other on the couch, as Matteo slips a feet between David’s while they continue eating.

“I’m a bit surprised you went with a Marinara instead of a _Detroit pizza_ or something.”

David pauses at that, staring at Matteo. “There is a _Detroit_ pizza?”

“Mhm. I’ve read about it.”

“You can bet your ass I’m going to find it and try it.” David says.

Matteo just rolls his eyes.

They get back to unpacking and setting things up when they are eventually done with their lunch, David helping Matteo out with mounting the ideas board, though it ended up more like Matteo holding it in place while David does the actual work of mounting it onto the wall. He is not complaining, given he gets to stare some more at David. He will never get tired of doing that.

They then finally come around to unpacking their mountains of boxes of clothes, which ended up being both of them shoving their clothes from the boxes into the dresser and the closet as quick and as mindlessly as they can, so it ends up being a case of them mixing all their clothes together. Not that Matteo minds about that at all. They share clothes more than they care to admit anyway, even though their friends sometimes shoot knowing looks at them.

“Okay, what else?” David asks when both of them are back on the couch, Matteo half lying on top of him, both taking a break from all the unpacking. They have gone through their things relatively quickly, as unopened boxes have drastically reduced in numbers throughout the day, now it is just a few boxes lying here and there.

“I think just some more books and movie collections or something. And I think your art supplies. Haven’t seen those yet.”

“What about shoes?”

“Those too. It’s not too many boxes either way.” Matteo mumbles, enjoying David’s fingers carding through his hair a bit too much.

“We can go through it later.”

“Maybe we do.”

 

* * *

 

 **17 May 2024**  

_Freitag 18:49_

 

There is still a handful of unopened boxes lying around in the flat, but they mostly have finished unpacking their lives together into this space that they can call their own. It is pretty much how Matteo have imagined it would be, except it is now all real in front of his eyes, and it seems even more cozy and _home_ he imagined it will be. 

They say it is a housewarming “party”, but it is more like a huge hangout for people close to Matteo’s and David’s life, and Matteo is cooking food for everyone. This is why Matteo has been camped in the kitchen for much of the afternoon, pulling out all the stops and preparing dish after dish so they have enough food to feed more than a dozen of adults.

David has spent the day working on another project or something, leaving Matteo to his own devices for much of the day, until he came back earlier in the evening, though acting a bit suspiciously before finally coming to the kitchen to kiss Matteo in greeting. Matteo expelled David from the kitchen a while later, as he was too distracting for him to get the cooking done, so David is tasked with hanging out in the living room looking handsome, opening the door for their guests and also entertaining them before food is ready.

Matteo even invited his mother, but she declined, telling him to have fun with his friends, and she would visit them in another time. For once everyone they know are in town, so everyone should be showing up. Jonas and Hanna are already hanging out on the loveseat in their living room, while David is hanging out and chatting with them, both of them marveling at the aesthetics of the flat that is hugely influenced by David’s sense for aesthetics.

David comes in a while later, setting a new bottle of wine that Jonas and Hanna gifted them into the wine cabinet in the kitchen, stealing another kiss out of Matteo before heading to the door to welcome someone else who has just arrived at the door.

By the time Matteo is done with the food, everyone they are expecting are already hanging out in the living room, either on the couches or at the dining table chatting away. Matteo also sees a small pile of gifts on top of the TV cabinet, despite his and David’s insistence that no one needs to bring anything along with them.

He can see Jonas and Alex, who by the way Matteo has not seen in months, hanging out on the balcony, both with a cigarette in hand. Carlos and Abdi leaning against the corridor wall, deep in conversation about something. Laura, Linn, Hans, Leonie, Sara and David are huddled together on the sets of couch, laughing about something on Leonie’s phone. Kiki, Sam, Hanna, Amira, Mohammed, Mia sitting around the dining table chatting about something.

He starts setting the of pasta, risotto, roast and a few other side dishes on the table, David standing up to help him when he sees Matteo coming out with the first plates of food. He also pulls the crate of beer out from the corner of the kitchen and puts it by the coffee table in the living room. Matteo brings out the mate from his fridge for Amira specifically.

In a few minutes, everyone is sat around the living room with plates in hand and chatting with one another idly, catching up. After all, it is rare that everyone find themselves in the same room at the same time. Some of them are also very interested in the random mementos littered around the flat (which are mostly David’s), as David tries to explain the significance of every single item that are on display everywhere. Laura just rolls her eyes at David as she evidently has given up on understanding these items long before today.

Someone’s attention is turned to a red item which is lying next to the two trophies from Berlinale. Matteo thinks it is familiar, before he recognises that it is the valve that David picked up the day when they were first exploring the abandoned military base in Wünsdorf. He sees David blushing when he sees what they are referring to as well.

“Uh…well, that is a lucky charm of sorts?” David answers, as his eyes meet Matteo’s.

“How so?” Sam asks.

“It’s a thing between me and Matteo.” David says, while still holding Matteo’s gaze, and he gets it. It is the thing that he picked up before wanting to open up to Matteo and kissed him. It gained its significance because how the whole thing panned out, with them virtually entwined with each other now. You can hardly explain this to anyone, let alone your whole group of friends without sounding like a sap. Even this answer sounds a bit sappy already.

Amira definitely agrees with this assessment, as she suddenly stands up from where she is seated, setting down the utensils and goes to find her bag.

“This sappiness reminds me of something.” As she rummages in her bag, and pulls out a jar of honey, putting it in the small pile of gifts on the TV cabinet. “That seems to me like the perfect thing for both of you.”

“Yeah? How so?” Matteo asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Enjoying the sweetness of life.” Amira says, looking at Matteo and David pointedly.

He rolls his eyes. “It seems like you’re turning into a sap.”

“I’m just stooping to your level.” Amira jokes.

The group breaks out into cheers, excited about the shade that is being thrown at Matteo. He just rolls his eyes and sinks a bit deeper into the floor, his head resting against the armrest of the loveseat, while David nudges him in his side with his foot on the couch, sending him a smile.

They all keep hanging out late into the evening before they start to bid farewell one by one, until it is only David and Matteo again. They start cleaning up silently, gathering the dishes and bottles, and washing things up in the kitchen. It is past midnight by the time they are done toweling off the dishes and pots and setting everything back in order. Matteo leads David out to the balcony and they sit down on the pair of deck chairs out there.

He pulls out a joint from his pocket, holding it up between them.

“Fancy a joint?”

“Sure.”

They stay out in the late spring / early summer night, the joint switching between their fingers, and they talked softly among themselves about life until they have finished it. It is still early in this new stage of their life, living together, but Matteo can really get used to it without difficulties.

They go and have a quick shower together after that and fall back in bed, having another night of blissful and restful sleep.

 

* * *

 

 **31 May 2024**  

_Freitag 17:20_

 

David comes back from a meeting with the other production companies that are going to jointly produce David’s film with his studio, as the deal Carlos talked about last month ended up working out, and they are now in the pre-production stage for the film. It is uneventful, which by no means is a bad thing, getting things done quickly in this stage and starting the casting soon would mean he can start working with the film itself earlier. The only surprise is seeing Leonie showing up at the meeting, as David belatedly realise the Bavarian film company that is one of the parties to this production is the one that Leonie works for. Though David suspects that company brings Leonie on board solely because they know they have worked with each other. There are no complaints on David’s part though.

He finds his way into the study, and sees that Matteo is on his computer busy with something again. He spins around in his chair when he hears David entering the room, making grabby hands at David asking for a hug and maybe a kiss. David, as always, indulges him without question. 

“How was your day?” Matteo asks him, while still holding his face.

“Boring, but it’s okay. How was yours?” David asks, nodding at Matteo’s screen behind him. “Working on your secret project again?”

David figured out after some time that Matteo is in fact working on something other than his game developments recently, which explains why he seemed so busy and engrossed by working on whatever this is, and that he is working on this project pretty much on his own aside from the help of maybe a handful of engineers inside Peach. He still does not know what exactly Matteo is working on though, given his secrecy around this thing.

“Yeah.” Matteo affirms, letting go of David’s face, and turning around to look at his screen as well.

He turns back to David after a beat.

“Actually, I want to show you something.” Matteo says as he sits David down on the chair. He pulls the other chair from David’s side of the room and plops down in that one and starts clicking on something on screen.

Soon enough, something that resembles what you will see on your phone home screen pops up.

“It’s a sandbox imitating a mobile phone.” Matteo tells him when he sees the confusion on his face. He turns back to click something on the screen on this virtual phone, and something pops up.

“It is an app for the community.” He says. David is confused at first, but then as he reads through the things on screen, he realises what this is all about. Matteo hands him the mouse so he can navigate the app.

First he sees a list of charities and NGOs that work with LGBTQ+ youth. There is a locating function, so the list will optimise to the closest organisations to where the user is, as he tries to set the location to somewhere else in the country and sees the list changing. There is also a filtering option in the results, so the user can find the most suitable organisation they may want to contact, be it concerning emotional wellbeing, health concerns, homelessness, outreach activities and so much more.

Then he sees another function, where the users can look for LGBTQ+ inclusive doctors and healthcare providers, so they can go seek medical help without the risk of being discriminated against.

“I have been working for a while to get doctors who are friendly to sign up for this app, so people know where is safe for them to go to.”

He clicks on the next tab, and sees it is sort of an alarm. He starts clicking around and finds out that it is for people to set reminders for their medications and appointments with doctors, therapists or whatever appointment they would be having. There is also a health reminder function in this page, where it could be set up to remind people to take breaks; eat; exercise and…take off their binder? He turns over to Matteo, who he sees is blushing a bit.

“I got inspired by that one time you got a sore back.”

That one time being the day Matteo brought him back home in Heidelberg after they traded some confessions with one another.

“This looks amazing.” David says, after he explored the app’s other functions as well, and maybe having gone through all of them at least once more.

Matteo scratches his neck. “It is coming out tomorrow.”

David checks his watch for the date for a second, then he gets the significance of this.

“Right in time for Pride Month.”

“Yep.”

“I was inspired by you and your work, to be honest.” Matteo confesses, his face open with honesty.

“I am proud of you.” David presses a kiss on his nose. “You are inspirational enough yourself.”

It seems standard procedure these days that they trade compliments and endearments and start making out with each other. Though Matteo breaks their kiss after a few minutes and asks David. “Are you hungry? I’m going to make dinner.”

David rolls his eyes but lets Matteo go make dinner either way. One hunger at a time.

 

* * *

 

 **1 June 2024**  

_Samstag 09:01_

 

Matteo is up uncharacteristically early today, David thinks, as he can feel that the place where Matteo should be next to him is empty, though still exuding some warmth left behind by Matteo’s body. He opens his eyes and rolls around when he hears the door to the room open and sees Matteo walking in only dressed in his boxers, focus entirely on his phone. 

“Why are you up early.” David mutters. He is so used to sleeping in on weekends these days that he totally ignored the fact that he would be up way earlier than Matteo ever could, just for his morning run, particularly on days when he has to work in the morning. Though it is quite uncharacteristically Matteo to have him awake and functioning this time of day.

Matteo looks up at the question and smiles a boyish smile at David, leaning down to kiss him on his forehead. “Morning.” He greets.

“It’s just that, the app is out.” Matteo explains as he sets his cup of coffee down on the bedside table and climbs back into bed, sitting against the headboard next to David and starts running his hand through David’s messy curls.

“I’ll tweet about it.” David says while reaching out to his bedside table, looking for his phone.

“You don’t have to.” Matteo says, still playing with and messing up David’s hair.

“I want to,” He says, having retrieved his phone. He leans his head against Matteo’s stomach, so Matteo can continue having fun with his hair while he is typing on his phone. “It is something meaningful.”

 

 

> **David** _@DavidSchr_ · Jun 1
> 
>  
> 
> _Happy Pride Month!_ 🏳️🌈 _@matteohno and @PeachSoftwares came up with @PalTheApp which could be a useful toolkit for everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. Check it out! Available for free on app stores across platforms right now._

 

Matteo liked and retweeted David’s tweet as soon as it is sent.

“Dork.” He says, looking up and eyeing Matteo.

“I’m your biggest fan, of course I have to do that.”

 

* * *

 

 **11 June 2024**  

_Dienstag 14:41_

 

David is having a late lunch in the café near his little office in the outskirts in Berlin. He has been doing the casting of actors together with the casting director, as he wants fresher faces in his film, rather than any more established names in the industry, even though some would say the conventional wisdom would be to go for people with track record. They were only doing a half-day session for today, so David figures he would head to his office to go through his notes from today to see if there is anyone he wants to cast for his film, and maybe start storyboarding some other projects if he has time left. 

He has just finished his bagel when his phone rings. He cannot recognise the number, but he picks up nonetheless.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, I hope I am speaking to Mr. David Schreibner?”

“That would be me.”

“Excellent. I am Jens Bauer, calling from ZDF. We would like to discuss the possibility of you directing a show for us.”

He is a bit caught off guard by this random proposition. “What would that be about?”

“It would be a teen drama, coming of age show of sorts. It would involve topics like teenager’s experiences in the current environment, their struggle to find their voice, as well as topics that involve religion, gender and sexuality.”

This intrigues David.

“Sounds like an interesting proposition…do you want me to come down to Mainz to discuss this or…”

“No, we would have people come to where you are.”

“That would be Berlin.”

“Does Thursday work for you?”

David tries to think if he has anything blocking his schedule for Thursday. He thinks there is not.

“Sure.”

“We will send an email to you about this. Does the email for your production studio work?”

“That would be the preferred method, yes.”

“Okay. Hope we can work together in the near future then.”

“Thanks, goodbye.”

David sets his phone down and takes a sip out of his herbal tea.

He might be mildly losing his mind over this. First a film deal and now possibly working with public television about topics that he is genuinely interested about? Sign him up, honestly.

 

* * *

 

**13 June 2024**

_Donnerstag 17:51_

 

“Thank you.” David shakes the hand of the three people that has come up to Berlin to discuss this with him. His mind is running at a mile a minute.

David has cleared the whole afternoon for these discussions, and he is glad that he has done so, as they ended up getting into much deeper intricacies of how this show would work and what topics they would like to touch upon, and even how they would like to approach each topic. They have planned for more than a season already and plans to focus on a different main character for each season. Granted, working with publicly-funded shows mean that there is no guarantee the show would be renewed, but David is very sold on the ideas of the various seasons the writers have come up with already. The format of running it virtually real time is also a concept that appeals to David very much, as it is something different and unique to do. From what he has heard so far, the writers are open to input from others as well, and that bodes well for David, should he have opinions on how some topics that hits closer to home for him is covered in the show. It seems a no brainer for him to agree to take this idea further forward with the channel and this is what he has done easily.

He is walking his guests to the entrance of his office.

“By the way,” the younger girl in the group turns back and addresses David as they reach the door, “Do you have any thoughts on what we should name the show? We have some ideas in the works already, but I would like to know what you think as well.”

“I think everything that we are going to do is stemming from the pressure of the characters. Things like peer pressure, social norms, academic pressure, angst about the future and so on. So, what about ‘DRUCK’? Simply, pressure.”

“I would pull out a galaxy brain meme, but it does not seem to appropriate.” The girl starts, and it already sends David into hysteria. “But that seems like a very good idea, we have to note that one down.”

“Have a safe trip home.” David wishes to his guests as they finally go on their way.

He pulls out his phone.

 

 _Asshole_ 💖

“Remember the call I told you about?” – 18:02

“I am going to do the show.” – 18:03

 

 _Sun_ 💕

“!!!” – 18:06

“🔥” – 18:06

“Honestly? It sounds so cool.” – 18:07

“I am excited!” – 18:08

“We should celebrate.” – 18:10

 

 _Asshole_ 💖

“;)” – 18:12

 

* * *

 

**29 June 2024**

_Samstag 10:31_

 

David has been working on this piece on the side for a very long time already. He usually does this when he has nothing urgent to do, or when he feels blocked for ideas on his actual projects, or simply when he wants to do something different. He is not even sure if this thing will see the light of day. Partly because this is so close to his heart, and partly he knows there is no way of writing this plot that would do the story the justice it deserves.

He is sat on a deck chair in the balcony, a writing pad in his lap and a cup of Masala chai next to him. He is still generally incompetent when it comes to cooking, despite Matteo’s best effort to teach him some of the basics, however, he realises that he is quite good of making his own tea, rather than using store-bought tea bags, and has been experimenting with it. It suits his _obsession_ with tea, as Matteo has called it.

He takes another sip of the chai. The robust flavour of the spices is laced in the creamy, sweet tea, and David thinks he likes it. He sets down the cup again and looks back at his writing pad, as he starts scribbling on it again with his pen, pouring all his emotions into it, trying to bring as much life into the scenes he is constructing for the story. He pauses intermittently, trying to consider his thoughts and what he has had so far, and it is not uncommon that he crosses out things, just to approach them differently again.

He stops again, setting his pen down and blindly reaching out for his cup, only to find it is not there. He looks over to the small table, only to see Matteo standing behind him and holding his cup of chai.

“This tastes very good.” Matteo comments, as he sets the cup back into David’s open palm and leans down to kiss him good morning.

“Had a good night of sleep?” David asks, before taking a sip from his cup and setting it down again. Matteo is still standing there.

“Yeah. Though it is a bit rough that there is no one to hug it out with me when I wake up feeling a bit sore.”

David smirks at that. It explains why Matteo is not sitting down. He just pats him on his side as he turns back to his writing pad.

“What are you up to out here then?” Matteo asks, as he walks around David and leans against the railing instead, still looking at David.

“I am writing a film script.”

“Yeah? Tell me about it.”

“It’s our story.”

Matteo’s eyes widen. “Our story?”

“Yeah. I don’t think it will be getting anywhere soon, but I want to work on this whenever I can.”

“Why is it not getting anywhere then?” Matteo humours David’s sentiment.

“Because there is so much to cover, and there is no ending to this story.” This is David’s sentiment. _They are forever_. He has fought against the idea of fate for so long, but if there is one piece of evidence that may convince him that maybe fate does exist, it would be the story of himself and Matteo. There is no way to know, but maybe there is fate.

“But I hope one day this story,” David gestures at the writing pad, “will find its way onto film, immortalised.”

“And I will walk onto the big screen with you.” Matteo smiles at David.

He will. _They will_.

 

* * *

 

 **8 July 2024**  

_Montag 13:37_

 

One of the downsides of being a director is that you have to travel, sometimes faraway, for the projects you are working on. Don’t get David wrong, he loves what he is doing, and he thinks it is a privilege to have the opportunity to do this, but he misses Matteo when he has to travel away from Berlin, like he has to do for his new film. This is partly why he finds himself sat in Matteo’s office at Peach no more than an hour after stepping off the train, off the back of several hours of train travel. (The other part of the reason is Matteo has been texting him about missing him.)

They are eating out of takeaway boxes, once again, this time from a Turkish place. Matteo has already kissed him more than a dozen times and told him he missed David at least five times since coming into the office no more than ten minutes ago. He is almost surprised that Matteo is not telling him he missed David once again when he opens his mouth again, while chewing on some rice.

“I have been thinking about this thing for a while.”

“What has been troubling you, Mr. Florenzi?” He asks, before taking another bite of his own food.

“Jonas taking the plunge, in our pool.”

“What about it?”

“I just feel there is a deeper meaning into it.”

 _A meaning just for David and Matteo_.

“Because there is.”

Matteo hums at that, taking a sip out of his glass of water.

“That is where I took my plunge and took my chance on you.”

Matteo breaks into a smile at that.

 _Art is a means of self-expression_.

“I think I can say the same for myself.”

 

* * *

 

**24 July 2024**

_Mittwoch 04:15_

 

Matteo is groggy and annoyed, as he leans his head against the passenger-side window of his car, trying to catch some more sleep again. He has only got David back from his traveling for the new film yesterday, and he loves and misses David very much, but at this moment he is also very resentful towards David for getting him out of bed at stupid o’clock and actually outside, driving somewhere.

The car finally screeches to a halt in some place that seems like the middle of nowhere, and David opens the passenger-side door for Matteo before it registers in his mind that they have arrived at wherever David is bringing him.

David locks his car and starts leading him towards the place where David is seemingly bringing him to. In his sleep-addled mind, he feels like it is somewhere familiar, but he cannot recall it to save his life in this moment.

It only really hits him where they are, when they reach the platform of this structure, where the radar domes are. They are at Teufelsberg. David pulls out a thermos seemingly out of thin air, and pours a cup of coffee for Matteo, who accepts it gratefully, starting to feel more awake as he sips on the drink.

When he finishes the cup, David leads him up the stairs of the tower, so they reach the topmost radar dome.

“So why are we here?” Matteo asks, as he settles down on the floor next to David, still in the dark and in the middle of nowhere.

“We’re here for the sunrise.” David answers simply, and Matteo belatedly realises David has his camera with him as well. “I’ve read on the internet that it is a very unique sight inside Berlin.”

 

* * *

 

“I hope it is truly worth it.” Matteo mutters next to him. He is not getting it, is he? If David is honest, wherever Matteo is, David can get to see the most beautiful sights of the sun, because Matteo is like the sun to him, and there is nothing that could top that.

“There is something else.” David says, as light starts to break through the heavens. He knows the sun starts to rise around half-past today. 

Matteo just turns and looks at him dumbly.

“Do you know what date it is?”

Matteo pulls out his phone and looks at it.

“The 24th?”

Matteo is definitely not getting it.

“One year ago, I met you here. Properly, for the first time.”

One year ago, David’s sun rose for him for the first time in years, when he saw Matteo walking towards him. When he got to talk to Matteo for the first time. The sun has stayed in his life since then, through thick and thin.

Matteo’s eyes widen in recognition.

“When we first talked…about sound stuff?” Matteo asks, incredulous.

“Yeah.”

“It feels so long ago already.” Matteo muses. “I can’t believe you remember the dates.”

“It is significant to me.” David confesses.

Matteo takes his hand. “It is significant to me too.”

David knows Matteo means what he said.

They sat there holding hands, waiting for the sun to rise. It is a beautiful sight, when the sun finally clears the horizon, but it is only enhanced because he is right here with Matteo.

He stands up and starts taking photos of the scenery. From the back, Matteo takes pictures of David taking pictures. David makes Matteo send him the photo when he sees it, and it becomes his profile picture in every social media account he possesses. David also pulls out his own phone and sets it on one of the beams in the vicinity, somehow making it balance, and gets it to take a picture of both himself and Matteo crouching and peering out into the world from the inside of the radar dome.

They both post the picture onto their Instagram, only sharing it with their family and friends.

 

* * *

 

**27 July 2024**

_Samstag 13:56_

 

Despite being out for years and comfortable with his own identity, Matteo has never imagined himself being where he is right now. Right on the streets, with a rainbow flag tied against the hem of his shorts, on the day of CSD Berlin, marching along with many other people, and most importantly next to a person he loves. David.

All of these seem inconceivable even when you turn the clock back by a year, when Matteo is still resigned to a life of being single, and not particular a fan of the idea of going to Pride. Granted, he is still not a fan of being in such a crowded atmosphere, but he finds himself enjoying the atmosphere nonetheless.

There is so much going on in the crowd, a bus driving along with the parade, everyone dancing along to beats of songs and generally having fun together. There are also countless amount of pride flags flying around in the crowd, as well as some of those lining the streets.

Matteo films a lot of the things he sees with his phone, as he is so new to everything that is happening right here in the parade, and everything demands his attention and he wants to see it all. He also films a lot of his boyfriend bopping along to the beat, enjoying himself and having the time of his life. He eventually stops filming, when David tugs on his hand and tells him “Try to immerse and enjoy yourself a bit in this.”.

The feeling is freeing, while Matteo is not being particularly forward the way he dresses or the things he does while in the parade, just marching along with the crowd together with David, it is quite liberating to be surrounded by so many people of the community he is part of, everyone showing their pride of being who they are.

Some people recognise them, or mostly David, and comes up to greet them and chat with them a bit about everything, and they both take pictures with these people, while still trying to bop along to the songs and also David trying to stop Matteo from looking like a messy crackhead in pictures that is absolutely ruining his image, even though Matteo does not particularly care. He gay, in love and having fun.

He posts a little clip of David waving a tiny pride flag on his Instagram. David posts one of a huge pride flag flying in the sky.

Even when the march is over, and they are on public transport making their way home, they are still surrounded by people in an absolute party mood, dressed in bright colours and various pride flags tied to their bodies.

“Did you enjoy yourself today?” David asks him when they finally make it back to their flat hand-in-hand. Matteo still has the pride flag tied around his waist.

“I did, in fact, enjoy myself a lot.” Matteo replies, wrapping his arms around David’s shoulder, and trying to sound like an intellectual for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

David decides to ignore his random dumbass antics and kisses him instead. “That is good. Having pride is good?”

“Having pride and going to pride is awesome.” Matteo affirms, as he starts to untie the flag around his waist.

“I am going to put this on the wall somewhere.” Matteo muses, as he holds the flag in front of him.

“Looks gay.” David quips.

“We’re gay and in love, it is allowed.” Matteo rebuts, and continues with his musing.

“What about here along the corridor?” He asks David, stretching his arms so the flag is plastered along the wall.

David considers the sight for a second, before reaching out and taking the flag from Matteo. “That place looks good, but we will need to get something to hang it on the wall.” He says as he folds the flag neatly, then sets it atop of the TV cabinet. “Let’s do it later.”

“Yeah, we’ll do it later.” Matteo agrees. “I have more important things to do anyway.”

He pulls David into another kiss, as they start to make out standing in the middle of their living room.

 

* * *

 

 **1 August 2024**  

_Donnerstag_

 

David has sat on this thing he has wanted to do for very long. In fact, long like for months at this point, all the way back to when they have just moved in together. He has taken advantage of the fact that Matteo is a deep sleeper, and also the fact that he never rummages around in their room, so Matteo is still none the wiser about all of this.

Matteo somehow figured out that today is a year to the day when they first properly hung out – on that rainy day in a café near the Tiergarten, away from the film crew and everyone else.

Matteo bringing him out back to the same café is not really feasible given the fact that they are both busy. Matteo still with that first PC game that he is very invested in making it as good as possible; while David taking advantage of a break in the filming for his film to start doing some filming for the TV series.

What Matteo has done instead, is cooking lasagna which as far as David recalls, has never been on the menu of dishes Matteo has cooked for him, and also serving him with Panzanella, a salad with bread and tomatoes among other ingredients. At this point in time, David has already given up on understanding why Matteo is so good at cooking, while he cannot learn how to cook to save his life. He just enjoys the meal thoroughly, getting spoiled by Matteo and be happy with it.

He thought they are done with another instalment of amazing food made by Matteo, when he pulls out two plates, one with Tiramisu, and the other with Semifreddo in it. He does not even know Matteo knows how to make dessert.

“I made these as a replacement for the pastries we would otherwise have gotten at the café.” Matteo explains.

“When did you start knowing how to make deserts as well?” David lets his incredulity show.

Matteo blushes and scratches his neck.

“I didn’t. I started learning to make this after that day at Teufelsberg.”

David eats a forkful of each of the desserts. It tastes amazing. It is extremely unfair that Matteo has managed to perfect it in such a short period of time, but he also loves his boyfriend to bits for the fact that he has made an effort to learn how to make this just for this occasion.

“Both of these are amazing.” David says sincerely, and he sees a large smile forming on Matteo’s face. They finish both desserts together, fork by fork, which also involves them feeding each other. No one is here to judge them though, so they can do whatever they want.

David figures now is a good time for this. He takes the opportunity of Matteo taking the dishes back into the kitchen and slips into the bedroom and opens the lowest drawer of the dresser to reach for the box in the corner. He returns with the box hidden behind his back, and he sees Matteo is now sat on the couch, playing with his phone.

He sits down next to Matteo, setting the box down next to him, out of Matteo’s sight.

“I have something for you.”

Matteo puts down his phone and looks at David questioningly.

David scratches his neck. “In fact, something for both of us.”

He picks up the box, so it enters Matteo’s line of view as he opens it, revealing its contents.

It is a pair of nondescript silver necklaces. The pendants of the necklaces are titanium rings that are of identical design, one fitted to the size of Matteo’s ring finger, the other fitted to David’s finger size.

He can see Matteo’s eyes widening.

“Don’t worry, I’m not proposing yet.” David jokes, as he picks up the necklace that is intended for Matteo.

“It would fit on your ring finger too, but I figured a necklace might be more personal for both of us.” David explains, not getting to the point yet.

He puts the necklace around Matteo’s neck. “They are a pair of promise rings. I am in this for the long haul.”

Matteo smiles and catches David’s hands when he is done putting it on for Matteo. David can see some tears forming in Matteo’s eyes as he is pulled into a kiss.

Matteo takes up David’s necklace from the box and reciprocates, putting it on for David.

“I am in this for the long haul too, in case you missed it.” Matteo croaks, voice full of emotion.

“I definitely did not miss that.” David replies, his emotions also showing in his voice.

His eyes catch sight of the digital clock on the corner of the TV cabinet.

It is 21:21.

He leans in and kisses Matteo again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments hugely appreciated :)
> 
> (The next "chapter" will be my author's notes.)


	21. Author's End Note

**Author’s Note**

 

This is it. The end of the journey of this fic.

 

It started as an idea that popped into my mind while I was trying to fall asleep, shortly after the end of Season 3. Before this, I have been in various fandoms consuming a lot of fics (To my surprise I have been on AO3 since 2014.), but never had I tried to write. To find out if I can write at least reasonably, I wrote a canon-derived one-shot that took the POV of David in S3E9 ( **Berlin, Take Me Home** ). It turned out okay, so I started writing this.

As I said at the start of this fic, I didn’t know where this is headed, aside from some very general ideas and several plot details that I have decided from the get-go would make it in. I embarked on a long-winded plotting process, which I stopped around what turned out to be the mid-point of this fic, because I wasn’t sure if we would even make it that far.

Since I started writing this fic (5 June), and until 29 July (which is when I finished the final chapter), aside from roughly two weeks when I was away on two short trips, writing this AU has been literally my day job. This fic is written in four cities across two countries, and even on planes and trains when I was traveling. I was engrossed by the AU itself and it kind of spiraled out of control with the amount of plot points I threw in here and there.

I moved the end point several times for this plot arc, before I even made it to the swimming pool chapter. First it was shortly after the _Heidelberg episode_ ; then it was after David finished the filming; after that it became the aftermath of the release of David’s film. Finally, I settled on making it a full-year cycle, as by a stroke of fortune, the dates all lined up for the end.

If you squint – there are five possible endings for this fic in the last chapter, and I liked each one of them for different reasons. I settled on the current ordering out of how the times line up plus I think it is a nice way to wrap up.

I originally planned for it to be short and sweet because I have never properly written a story of any kind before this. The inexperience kind of showed considering how many times I realise I have planted plot details that I can’t let myself _not_ expand on, and how the arc evolved as I ploughed on with this fic. Personally, I am quite happy how this has gone though.

If you squint, or if you are from the DRUCK Open Discord (Hi my friends <3), you may realise that I have taken a very crackhead and at times meta approach to writing this fic. I strive to have the portrayal of the essence of the characters close to the original, as well as see this fic as a tribute to DRUCK (I think I have mentioned this before somewhere), so you can see quite a number of parallels to canon, and how I incorporated some of the iconic elements into my narrative. On the other hand, where it is appropriate, and in no way trying to confuse the cast and character, I took some of the things from the cast themselves to fit onto the character – the most notable of which are David’s hipster glasses and the Jonas being an actor/singer, among other things, some of which even I’ve forgotten about. There is also the _crack_ element in this fic: while this is by no means a crackfic, there are a lot of DOD-related crack that I sprinkled into it intentionally, most of which while I was plotting/writing with a glass of white wine in hand. For example: Putting ketchup into white wine to make it red and the toastie/panini debacle.

While I have admittedly limited experience in filmmaking and absolutely no experience in sound engineering, I strive to get the technical accuracies as well as I can. This is why, some keen readers may realise, I have changed out something in the first two chapters way after the fact, when I realised something was just patently incorrect about the professions.

I have done more research on every aspect this fic has touched upon than I care to mention, but I angle for a realistic and immersive portrayal – particularly for the places that showed up in this fic, so I hope that the effort has paid off in the end product. (You may also have guessed correctly that I love Heidelberg very much.)

 

This is also a shoutout to all the wonderful people who walked this journey with me.

 

The folks over at the DRUCK Open Discord, who I incessantly scream to about this fic: Ellie who beta’d some of the chapters when I throw out like 30k at once; Beck, Noah, Simon, Leo, Harri who pact with me so we can drive one another to make some progress on our respective writings; Harri who read through parts of the plot where I as a cis could not gauge if I wrote it properly; and everyone else (SORRY IF I FORGOT YOU ILY)!

The wonderful readers who leave your kudos and comments chapter after chapter and share my excitement about this story! I have said this several times, but I do mean it – the response from all of you is far more than I have expected. This is very much a self-indulgent project on my part, and I did not expect anything from you, so I am really grateful for the overwhelming response.

The anon(s) who scream into my askbox on Tumblr whenever a chapter drops! I still don’t know who you are but thank you??? ILY2??

And really, everyone who came into contact with this fic. I could not believe we have done this.

 

If you are still here at the end, I really urge you to leave a comment and talk to me, be it long or short – I really do not mind but would really love to see what you thought of this fic and talk to  you :)

 

This is a wrap to this fic. Most of the plot points for this are self-contained and explored in this fic, though I did leave one or two set ups that could be explored in the future. Between starting a new job and other things on the side, however, means it is very much up in the air. So, for now at least, that is all from me and the whole Director AU!

 

Thank you.

 

JL / residentsheeper

_Drafted 29 July / Posted 9 September_

**Author's Note:**

> HMU at davenziabend.tumblr.com  
> Comments very much appreciated btw!


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